Chapter 14
Murphy’s Laws of Romance #22
“Sex appeal is 50% of what you’ve got,
and 50% of what people think you’ve got.”
“Do what?” BJ stared at her for a moment. “I wasn’t picking up anyone.”
“Don’t play dumb. You were far too smooth. How did you develop that kind of confidence and skill in only a few months? Hitting the bars every night? World-class dating coaches?”
Starling frowned and stood still, studying her and her question. Over the low murmur of the city, a siren sounded in the distance and faded away. Finally, he shook his head and asked, “Why is this making you upset now? You thought I was just lucky the first seven times?” He grinned at his own joke.
Toni tamped down a laugh and squinted at him. “Just answer the damn question. How?”
“I did practice a few nights once I mastered reading and using nonverbals. Tracy knew a lot about dating and ‘picking up’ women. You’re the one who suggested I study body language.”
“Yeah, yeah. So?”
“So,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s provided me with needed tools considering my social ignorance. Then again, Tracy was a very effective teacher.”
“Your nonverbal coach? I suppose you slept with her too.”
“Yes.”
Toni blinked at that. She’d expected denial, irritation, or embarrassment.
He waited, but when Toni impatiently planted her hands on her hips, he took another deep breath and continued,
“What I’ve learned is this: As long as I smile and demonstrate playful and relaxed body language, what I say isn’t a real concern. In communication, seventy percent is body language, twenty percent intonation, and only ten percent are the actual words. I know that what I do and how I sound is far more important than what I say.”
He crossed his arms, scowled at her, saying in a mocking tone, “You’re a smart and insightful woman.” He waited a moment. “So, what did I just say?”
The impact of his needling made her defensive, particularly when sarcasm was something she was very familiar with, even though BJ had simply demonstrated it. “Gotcha. Nonverbals are da bomb.”
He chuckled and shook his head at her mockery. “If my words are congruent with my nonverbals, it all works. It’s amazing how often people aren’t congruent.”
Starling cocked his head, eyebrows raised expectantly, making her wonder if she appeared as incongruent as she felt. He said, “I’m sorry. You know all this. Tracy said she trains lawyers.”
“Yes, for the courtroom and the boardroom, not the bedroom.”
He shrugged. “It’s still a trial by jury.” He gave her a half-grin. “Tracy says that. She also pointed out something I was unaware of and hadn’t planned for. I’ve become what she calls a CHAD, rich, tall, and physically fit. The top one percent is what women want. As for the confidence, again, I’m not sure what you mean.”
Yes, Tracy was right. He was every woman’s dream and didn’t know it—until now. “Aren’t you nervous talking to all these strange women?”
“Strange?”
“Women you don’t know and have never met.”
“Then why should I be nervous?” He suddenly turned and walked away toward the parking lot.
She trotted to catch up. “You aren’t afraid they, I mean, well, they could tell you to get lost, be snide, and turn you down completely. Laugh at your game.” He frowned at her comments. “Aren’t you worried women will use your ego for batting practice?”
“I don’t know them, and they don’t know me. Why should I care about what they think of me? And as for them being mean or telling me to get lost . . .” He smiled, neither sad nor jovial, capturing her gaze as they walked. “Those aren’t exactly new experiences for me. At this point in my life, it simply doesn’t matter. And of course, why would I want to date such—what’s the word? Bitches.”
“What?”
After a pause, he said in a reasonable tone, “If they’re mean to me, why would I be unhappy when they turn me down?” He gave an off-centered grin and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I guess I don’t have enough male ego in the exercise as Bonnie suggested.”
Toni sputtered, “Well, Bonnie didn’t mean—”
“I wasn’t trying to get a date, just information, which I did—with your help.”
Toni’s face and arms tingled in the cold air. She’d been one of those mean girls more than once. She had been with the bartender tonight—for the job of course. “So, do you ever get nervous?” Geez Louise. Can I ask a dumber question?
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Taking off the year with Sam. Learning to drive. If I’ll be able to master swimming before I drown.”
Toni was nearly jogging to keep up with his long strides. Finally, they had to halt at a crosswalk. While they waited for the light, Toni stepped in front of him, sure he was being obtuse on purpose. “I meant social interactions. Who makes you nervous?”
Watching the stoplight, he said, “You.”
“Me? But not Chris or Bonnie or the other women you’ve bedded?”
“Bedded?” He gave her a dismissive glance. “No. I worry that I might have hurt them once you suggested the possibility, but they didn’t make me nervous.”
“Then why me?” I’m not nice to him. He’s said he happily walks away from people who are mean to him. What about me makes him nervous?
Starling shifted his shoulders and flexed his hands as if weighing his words. “Because I value your opinion,” he said, spearing her with his eyes, “even though your opinion of me continues to be rather low and I still don’t know why.” He glanced at the light. “I do seem very proficient at making you angry.”
“I—” Again, his blunt and open declarations left her without any response other than to sputter. “I don’t dislike you. Honestly, Starling, I don’t know what to think about you. As I said, you keep changing.”
“It’s BJ.” Her grimace at being reminded again pulled a smile from him. “I suppose that means your opinion of me is open to change too.” He leaned his head far to one side as if inviting an answer, a rather cute mannerism she thought.
She rubbed her arms and tugged her coat closer. The chill fog seemed to creep under it. “I suppose it does.”
They walked in silence the rest of the way to the parking garage and her car, her reports gripped in his hand. She hadn’t seen him look at any of them.
Before getting into her Volvo, Toni stopped to look at him over its roof. “In Kell’s, how did you know to walk away instead of trying to get the women to say yes?”
BJ regarded her as if she’d spoken Swahili.
Toni sighed when she saw she’d have to explain herself. “The women shook their heads the first time you went over with the bowls of pretzels. You went back to your drink at the bar. Why didn’t you stay and keep working on them?”
“Toni, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He stared off into space for a moment. “They said they wanted a drink with each other, which didn’t include me. They said it nicely, but they were definite. It was quite understandable, so I left.”
“So, it wasn’t some tactic.”
“No.” He gazed at her perplexed. “A tactic to do what?”
“Women want to be pursued. They need to know a man desires their company enough to take a risk, to stay in the game when they give him ‘no’ messages.”
“The women didn’t mean no?”
“Most of the time they do mean it, but not all of the time, like tonight. They did buy you a drink to get you to come back and sit with them.”
“That makes no sense to me. I thought they wanted to thank me for the pretzels and peanuts. I wasn’t aware of any tactic. If a woman says ‘no’ to me, why shouldn’t I accept it?”
“Because sometimes they might want you to try harder, to test your confidence, to see how badly you want their company.”
BJ frowned hard, almost squinting. “I see. Like the woman in the red dress in Downey’s Bar.”
“You mean the gorgeous blonde with the plunging neckline sitting alone?”
“Yes. She made eye contact when I entered the bar. I sat one stool down from her and said, ‘Hi.’ She then informed me that she only spoke to good-looking men.”
Toni cringed. “You didn’t leave then. What did you say?”
“I said, ‘What a coincidence, so do I. But I’m willing to talk to all sorts of women.’”
Toni smiled, surprised at BJ’s quick thinking. “What did she do then?”
“She laughed and we talked, but she kept saying things like I’m too tall or with my clothes, I’m trying too hard.” After a while I said goodbye.”
“I saw her give you her card.”
“Yes, but I threw it away. If a woman decides she doesn’t like me or approve of my appearance, why stay? Do you mean I should try and make her like me?”
She made a snicking with her teeth at his logic. “She was giving you a shit test, not saying she didn’t like you.”
“A what?” Frowning, he cocked his head.
“A shit test. She wanted to see how confident you were by trying to embarrass you.” Though she was getting cold as they conversed across the top of her car, Toni remained focused on his answers.
“Well, I found it unattractive.” Toni’s perplexed expression led him to add, “Women say no and use shit tests when they really want a man to stay? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Unattractive? She was a ten, a real looker.”
“So?”
“ SO? Seriously?” Toni gaped at him, incredulous.
BJ shrugged. “Many women are good-looking. They don’t all use the shit test you are describing. I found her continual criticism unpleasant.”
“Well, okay.” Toni tapped her fingers on the car roof. “Women get hit on all the time. If they like what they see, they still want to check what you’re made of. They want to see your A game before they invest the time.” She waved a hand while trying to clarify what unexpectedly had become complicated.
“They want to gauge how clever you are, your confidence, see how you’ll overcome their challenges.”
He frowned hard. “If they are purposely going to make it difficult by saying no and testing me, wanting me to try harder, without a compelling reason, why would I?” He looked back at her, his eyebrows defying gravity. When she didn’t answer, he said, “This is bizarre. If I’m attracted to someone, want to get to know them, why would I make spending time with me contentious?”
Toni scrunched up her face, exasperated. Saying all this out loud didn’t make as much sense as simply doing it. “Women, particularly beautiful women, have to be careful. There are jerks out there.” When he nodded, she said, “Women play hard to get because men don't seem to value a relationship that comes too easily.”
“I value every relationship I have, regardless of how easy they are. That’s why I have them.”
Toni rubbed her forehead at his logic. “Yes, of course. Women want to know if you think getting to know them is worth the effort.” She waved a hand at what she’d thought was obvious.
BJ shook his head dismissively. “How do I know it’s worth the effort before I get to know them?”
“Their appearance?” BJ gave her a dismissive glance. That stopped her. His attitude just wasn’t natural. Not in her experience, anyway.
“They want to find out as much as they can about you first ,” Toni said, frowning back at his skeptical look, “Women love confident men.”
“Confident?” He rubbed his chin for a moment. “So, the way women determine that is by saying no to men when they mean try harder, while embarrassing them?”
She flipped up her hands in frustration. “Hey, flirting and courting are built on conflict and challenges. Get over it.” How do I get myself into these discussions?
“All right, how do I recognize when no isn’t no?”
“Body language?” Toni impatiently thumped the roof of the car with her knuckles. “It’s different with each woman. You’ll have to find out on a one-to-one basis.” At his still-skeptical expression, she threw her hands up. “Damn it, Starling, don’t worry about it. Your approach scores anyway.” BJ continued to look at her with a puzzled expression. Impatient with the topic, she said, “I’m surprised Very Effective Tracy hasn’t taught you the body language involved.”
“She hasn’t, but I’ll ask. Thank you.” BJ nodded, running his fingers through his hair. “Until then, I think I’ll accept no as no for now and move on.”
He wasn’t Casanova. “Well, that works for you, so no worries.” In explaining it, she’d ended up defending the game, something she’d practiced herself.
They got in her Volvo, and Toni drove out of the garage, tires squealing.
She shook off her irritation with his questions and too logical conclusions. It was just him doing what he knew and dumb luck. Toni mentally sighed. No, it wasn’t luck. He was smart enough to know his limitations and didn’t look for more results than he needed. She snorted. That’s what made him so self-assured. He had few expectations of others and specific if limited goals he was sure he could achieve. She tried to imagine what it would be like to live every day like that.
~ ~ ~
Toni broke the silence with her question. “Okay, so you’re going to talk to Tracy. Now, what are you going to do when all those women with your cards call you?”
“Nothing.”
“You aren’t going to return their calls?”
“No, why should I? I don’t care about them.”
She glared at him. “You shithead, what—”
He grinned at her. “Gotcha.” He laughed when she sputtered.
She finally shook her head. The man continued to be full of surprises. Hands gripping the wheel, she said, “Okay for you, smartass. What are you going to do when all these women call?”
Starling seemed to fill up the entire front of her car. The image of him dripping wet in nothing but his shorts kept flashing in her mind. His eyes captured hers, practically against her will.
Still smiling, he said, “I don’t think they all will. I made a point of indicating my preference for one in each group. According to Bonnie and Traci, the others won’t call before their friend does.”
Toni broke eye contact but glanced at him out of the corner of her eye as she drove out onto the street. “Well, a few will call. That could be seven or more women. “Do you even remember all their names?”
“Yes.”
She blinked at that. “So, are you going to date them all?”
“No. There were two or three I might enjoy getting to know.”
“And how are you telling the rest that without hurting their feelings? You know, rejection hurts,” she said, “for most people.”
Starling was quiet for several blocks. “I’ll tell them the truth: I enjoyed meeting them, but don’t want to date them.”
Toni raised an eyebrow. “And you think that won’t hurt their feelings after they’ve called you?”
“No?” When Toni wryly shook her head, he asked, “What do you suggest?”
She was not about to give him more suggestions. That way led to migraines. “I don’t know. Ask Bonnie?”
“She left yesterday.” As they rounded a corner onto Pine Street, his wide shoulders bumped hers. He apologized and then he sighed. “I’m going to miss her.”
The combination of shoulder contact and BJ’s missing Bonnie made her strangely self-conscious—again, Toni said the first thing that popped into her head. “Was Sam okay with you and Bonnie?”
An off-kilter frown formed. “He wasn’t until Bonnie read him the riot act, to use her phrase. I think he was afraid she’d stay instead of finishing college.” BJ rubbed his chin. “He won’t talk about it.”
“I’ll bet.” She pulled up to the Hyatt Grand. Sam was staying in town for the night, so BJ was too. Sam would pick him up in the morning. “What will you say to all those women?”
BJ’s expression turned serious. “I’ll have to see. I suppose I could ask the first ones who call.”
Toni laughed. “Well, that’s a different approach, I’ll grant you that.”
Opening the door to get out, BJ said, “Thank you for your help tonight. It’s been invaluable. From what you’ve written, I already have a strong norm for women’s reactions to me. We can start trying out the formula.”
“You never read them.”
“Yes, I did, while waiting for you outside the pubs. Very thorough.” He smiled warmly and got out. Through the open door he said, “You identified most of the nonverbals I used.”
Toni waved a hand. “Hey, I’m a lawyer. That’s what we do.” As a woman, that’s what we do.
He nodded and said with a soft smile, “Well, you do it well.” Saying goodbye, he closed the door and turned to go.
“BJ?”
When he came back, he squatted so he could look directly at her through the open car window and waited.
“Look, I’m sorry I’ve been such a-a bitch with you about this project of yours. I don’t approve of what your formulas can do. You’re playing with fire.”
BJ’s lips pressed together and then he nodded. “I understand your concerns. It’s good that you experienced the Cozy formula. You know what it can do. You can help me be careful.”
“Careful? I don’t want you to use it at all.”
He gazed at her for so long with such an odd expression of approval, she finally looked away, self-conscious.
“If I abandon my research, don’t sell the formulas, you’ll be fired. You’re willing to sacrifice your job over this?”
Toni gasped. “Where in the hell did you hear that?”
“Bateman.”
“He told you that ? When?”
“When he didn’t recognize me in your office, and I went up to correct that misunderstanding.”
Toni closed her eyes tight. The bastard . She hit the steering wheel. “Right. You wouldn’t give him the cozy formula immediately, so he yanked on another chain.” An impatient, shitty bastard.
BJ shrugged. “That could be it. I think he believed it would provide me with further incentive to sell the formulas.”
Toni waved a hand. “BJ, don’t do anything because I won’t lose my job.” I think.
“Do you trust me?”
“What?”
“I mean, do you trust me to safeguard the formula and its effects?”
“I, well . . .” Toni rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. “BJ, it’s not about trusting you. Bateman ’s the one I don’t trust, he and the Board. They are as hard-nosed as they come, and as unethical, crass, and opportunistic as Bernie Madoff with an empty wallet when it suits them.” She wondered for the thousandth time in the last month why she wanted to be lead counsel when she’d have to work with them.
She leaned toward him over the passenger seat to emphasize her next point. “BJ, you have to admit, when it comes to business and dealing with the Bateman’s of the world, you’re still . . .”
“A virgin?” When he saw Toni’s sheepish nod, he laughed. “Perhaps I am, but I still want to know. Do you trust me?”
Toni sat up and took a deep breath, still unsure how she felt about him. Not true. She was afraid of how she felt about him. With that thought rattling around in her head, she said, “Yes, I trust you.”
With a slap on the car door, he smiled. “I’m glad. That’s progress. So, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood and without looking back strode through the glass doors of the hotel and disappeared.
She raised the passenger window and pulled into traffic, heading north to her apartment on 3 rd Avenue West. She’d half-expected him to invite her in for a drink or up to his hotel room. Of course, that’s what other men would do. But not BJ, not with her.
Toni frowned hard as she turned on 3 rd and headed for her condo’s underground garage, thinking. Not about Bateman’s threat and her job, not about BJ’s question of trust. No, it was his description of her walk and his smile, the expression of pleasure in watching her. If he had invited her up, would she have accepted? She had absolutely no idea, and that fact kept her awake for a long time after she’d gone to bed.