Chapter 15
Murphy’s Laws of Romance #10
“The reason it’s ‘ all’s fair in love and war’
is because both involve a lot of fighting.”
Driving up to Starling’s house the next afternoon, Toni nearly rear-ended a gray Camry parked in his driveway. It had been camouflaged among the evening shadows and fog. Another female visitor, no doubt.
She turned off the engine of her company Volvo and sat, slowing her breathing, and calming the tremor in her hands. Unfortunately, she’d had an epiphany as she’d driven onto Starling’s property. Thinking on what BJ had said last night, as she’d had the whole day, she’d suddenly realized why he had never attempted charming her to yes. He didn’t seem to realize most people did try to make others like them every day. Or did he, and chose not to be one of them?
He thought she disapproved of him as well as his formulas. No point in making the effort, he said. You can’t make someone like you. Knowing that worked both ways, Toni fiercely massaged the steering wheel. She’d given Starling little reason to like her.
She was surprised by how miserable that made her feel, adding to the day she’d had.
Her brother Mario’s wife finally called her back. Jane was pregnant—with twins. It was a long-distance crying jag where Jane fervently wished Toni would come to New York to provide emotional support in dealing with the male-dominated Crenshaw clan. When Toni said she couldn’t, Jane decided to visit her mother 50 miles away in Terryville, which Toni knew would drive both Mario and her father crazy.
Soon after, her father called furious with Toni for upsetting Jane and “putting ideas in her head.” Then Steve decided to make a scene at the gym this morning, calling her all sorts of names when she’d chatted briefly with another man. She felt like an emotional pincushion from all the darts thrown her way in the last twenty-four hours.
Adding to it all, there was work. When she gave Pendergast and Bateman an update on Starling’s work two days ago, they began showing up in her office. Today they’d called almost hourly demanding more details about tonight’s field test of Starling’s scent. If that wasn’t enough, she’d been picking up the contractual pieces of another debacle with an important client engineered by Can’t-Find-His-Briefs Childers. If she became lead counsel, she’d fire his ass. Toni sat staring into space for a long time, hating the roiling turmoil, trying to mentally counter the feeling she was being stretched thin, vibrating like a stressed violin string.
And now, tonight, BJ was going to test his sex formula for the first time. She knew her involvement, the prospect of being around BJ, and dealing with his scent of seduction was teasing a carnal time bomb.
“They’re both dangerous.” Toni blinked. Did she say that out loud? Crap, she was losing it. She rested her head on the steering wheel and felt tears come.
Outside, the setting sun skimmed the trailing edge of a cloudy sky, casting blue shadows across the entrance of Starling’s house, eerie and foreboding. The image of Frankenstein’s castle sprung to mind. She shook herself and did a final check of her green floral dress. The flirty flair of the skirt hit her well above the knee. It was appropriate for a night’s barhopping, which is what she had to appear to be doing. Toni hoped her long coat would be warm enough now that it was getting to the end of September and covered enough if she wanted to dim the allure. She wiped away the tears and fixed her makeup as minimal as it was, and finally with a cleansing breath, got out of the Volvo and rang the doorbell.
Rena answered the door, dressed in what was apparently the Starling compound uniform, shorts and a tee. Toni lost it.
“Rena? What the hell are you—?” She didn’t bother to complete the sentence. Of course, BJ again. Chris must have shared, and the rest went without saying.
Toni stormed past Rena and marched into the main room of the house. Rena silently followed her, an impish smile on her face. When Toni found the living room empty save for the weight machines, she pulled back the corners of her mouth, squinting at Rena, and her infuriating expression, then marched into the kitchen. There, Sam puttered in the middle of fixing food.
“Hiya, Toni.” He grinned. “Can I get you something? Another scotch?” Rena came in and threw an arm around Sam. He added, “You know Rena of course.”
“Well, I thought I did.” Toni eyed her friend for a moment. “Okay, Rena, tell me what’s going on. What’re you doing here?”
Rena elbowed Sam and said, “See, I told ya.” Sam chuckled.
Toni grabbed Rena’s arm, saying to Sam, “Excuse us,” and dragged her out to the living room. “All right, enough with the cutesy stuff. Are you BJ’s latest groupie?”
Rena shook her head at Toni. “Is that what you think?”
Toni narrowed her eyes, suspicion tightening her face. “Have you smelled anything different lately? Right now?”
“Enough paranoia, already!” Rena planted her fists on her hips. “BJ’s latest groupie? Seriously , Toni?” She leaned up against the far wall. “I should smack you one.” Speaking with the sound of forced patience, she said, “BJ gave me his card, remember?” Rena crossed her arms, a disgusted look on her face. “I called. So, sue me.”
Toni threw her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Maybe I overreacted.”
Rena shot Toni a one-eyed reprimand. “ Maybe ?”
Toni waved her arms in frustration. “Damn it, every time I come here, there is either a different woman greeting me at the door and now you , or he’s gone through a new transformation.” Toni studied her friend with a lawyer’s eye. “And then there are his formulas. You know about those?”
“Of course. So?”
“So, he hasn’t used them on you?” God, she was tired of it all, family, work, disappointed in her friend for secretly hooking up with BJ. She felt tears threatening again, trying to hold it together.
Rena shook her head slowly at her friend. “Ooh, you’ve got it bad, darlin’.”
Toni crossed her arms. “I’ve got what?”
“BJ fever.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?”
Rena grinned. “I’ve never seen you this worked up about any guy before.”
“I am not worked up about Starling!” Toni clenched her jaw and counted to ten. “Look, the man has created more trouble for me than ten other Rayaneta projects.” She pointed to herself. “I’ve experienced his formulas. I know what they can do, how manipulative they are. Why shouldn’t I be worked up about it?”
“Maybe because BJ is everything you said you wanted in a man?”
“What?” She waved away the idea. “That’s a load of—”
It was true. He was. Rena knifing in to make her admit it only increased her emotional turmoil. Toni couldn’t admit it out loud, not when BJ wasn’t interested in her.
“So you say. Then why are you so upset seeing me here?”
At Rena’s incredulous expression, Toni plopped down on a weight machine bench and slapped her knees instead of doing what she wanted to do—grab a nearby dumbbell off its rack and throw it through a window.
“All right, so maybe it isn’t entirely his formulas. It’s because every time I come here or see him, I’m greeted by something unexpected , and this time it’s you, here, who I thought was my best friend. You’ve failed to mention this little complication—at all.”
Rena gave her a look meant for an obstinate child. “Well, unlike your usual updates on work and men, since our last visit to Six Seven, you’ve been unusually tight-lipped— and absent.”
Rena set her hands on her hips. “You know, it hurts when you fail to call back and continue to avoid getting together. That is when you aren’t being downright testy like now.” She leaned over at the waist to meet Toni’s gaze. “That kind of dampens the desire to share, girlfriend.”
Returning the stubborn pout Toni was giving her, Rena airily waved and said, “Thank you for proving my point.” Crossing her arms, she said, “I’m seeing Sam, not BJ, and have been all along.”
“What?” Toni stared at Rena. “Wait. Was Sam visiting you last night? Is that why he could pick BJ up this morning at the Hyatt?”
“Well, if you must know, yes.” Rena gave her a wide grin. “And I’m very happy about it.
“Okay, what happened?”
“I don’t know why I should tell you,” Rena said, crossing and uncrossing her arms, looking like she would explode if she didn’t tell Toni, “When you’ve been acting like you’ve got a burr up your butt for the last—”
“Rena.” With no patience left, Toni slapped the dumbbell rack next to her.
Rena pinched up her mouth for a moment and then smiled, saying, “Okay. After BJ gave me his card, I didn’t call because I knew Chris had been seeing him. When Chris stopped, I gave it a shot.”
“So you were first seeing BJ and now Sam ?”
“Damn, girl, give me some credit. I called and Sam answered. BJ wasn’t in. He’d Ubered off to a date. Sam and I ended up talking for hours on the phone. And it developed from there.”
With a disbelieving lilt to her voice, Toni said, “Over the phone?”
“Crenshaw, you’re becoming a world-class buzzkill, you know that?” She threw her hands up when Toni didn’t respond. “And you wonder why I haven’t told you anything lately.”
With a querulous glance, Toni leaned on the adjacent dumbbell rack and slumped, sighing heavily. “No, no, I’m not surprised at all.”
She suddenly realized two things: Because she was raised by and with overbearing males outnumbering her, she had grown up rough. Rena had a propensity for hard teasing that felt, well, normal, like her family life. Regardless, she’d take Rena over her family any day.
She ran a hand through her hair, destroying whatever style it held. “Rena, I know I’ve been a shithead for a while now. I’m really sorry. I’ve had to apologize to Crystal more than once in the last week, and BJ. Why not you too?”
Toni raised her hands in both surrender and to ward off imaginary flying objects. “I have a lot coming at me right now.” A curl flopped across her forehead, but Toni didn’t care at this point. “I did kid myself at first, insisting it was just my being a cynical New Yorker, but the last few months have made me doubt everything.”
A deep male voice cut in. “Doubting is good. Cynics make the best lawyers—and scientists.’
Rena chuckled, and both looked up to see BJ striding down the stairs in a tailored brown suit. He looked vibrant and absolutely magnificent. The blue shirt and matching tie highlighted his tan—and did make his eyes stand out. Yeah, Bonnie . So of course, Toni found it irritating, which irritated her more.
“Hi, Toni. You look irritated about something.”
Toni groaned. Rena laughed and came up to BJ, tugged at his cuffs and walked around him, smoothing the fabric across his shoulders. “Don’t mind Grumpy Gertrude. She’s been in a mood for weeks.” She finished by straightening his tie. “You’ll do, Doctor.”
“Thank you, Rena.” He turned to Toni, who couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He was stunning. She looked forward to watching him the rest of the evening, but she wasn’t going to tell him that . Would he even care?
“What do you think?” When there was only Toni’s scrunched-up mouth in response, Starling slid a hand in a coat pocket and posed. “Am I a chick magnet?”
Toni huffed, afraid to tell the truth, but soothed it with a little smile. “Only if you stand next to a ruby red Lamborghini.”
When BJ laughed, Rena said, “Well, you look magnificent, BJ. Very magnetic.” She shot Toni a stern “You behave” frown before she headed back to the kitchen, calling out “Good luck” over her shoulder.
BJ gazed at Toni still sitting on the weight bench absently fingering a barbell and raised an eyebrow. “Bad day at the office or can’t get the barbells to work?”
BJ walked over and when she raised her head, he gently tucked the stray curl behind her ear and smiled down at her. “There, ready to go.”
Caught in his gaze still tingling where he touched her forehead, Toni looked up at him as his expressive eyes said things her heart desperately wanted to hear. After a time lost in silent communication, her brain made contact, insisting she climb back on the reality train.
Toni leaped up and strode past BJ. “Come on, let’s get this experiment on the road.” She stopped and raised an eyebrow. “Is dressing up going to give your scent a fair test?”
BJ looked at Toni for a moment, then said, “I plan on wearing different clothes for each test.” He yelled goodbye to Sam and Rena as he left the house with Toni marching after him. Outside BJ waited by her car. She held up her hand when he reached her. “Are you wearing your formula?”
“No.” He gave her a look of worn tolerance. “You trust me, remember? I plan to apply it just before I enter our first nightclub.” He slipped two metal vials out of his pocket to show her and then handed her observation forms.
She put them in a binder, which she then threw on the back seat next to her coat and her purse, motioning BJ to get in.
Pocketing the vials, BJ said, “The formula has a range of about five feet. When you experienced the Cozy scent, it permeated the entire house.” He sat next to her and buckled in.
Toni eyed him. “And men aren’t affected? You won’t be affected?”
“No, as I said, this isn’t keyed to men’s pheromone responses.
“What about me while I’m observing?”
“As long as you stay more than five feet away, there’s no problem.”
“You’re guessing.”
“It’s more than a guess.” He studied her profile while she started the car and drove down the drive and west on Lake Sammamish. “What made you think I was wearing the formula in the house?”
“ Nothing , just checking,” Toni lied. “Are we going to the same places?”
He didn’t answer at first, but after a moment said, “No. It needs to be different locations, if only to avoid the same people. I thought a couple dance bars would do, Street Smarts and The Alibi Room. I understand you enjoy those venues.”
Toni grunted. She might run into her ex-beaus. “Why do we have to go into Seattle? Aren’t there places around Sammamish and Redmond that would work?”
“I imagine so, but I haven’t been to them because they’re too close. I know the territory in Seattle and the clientele frequenting the places we’re going, which is important in what Tracy calls working a room.” Once out on I-90, BJ said, “I’m taking my driver’s test tomorrow, so you won’t have to come pick me up anymore.”
“Congratulations.” She heard the regret in her voice. No more drives together.
“What are you upset about now?”
Toni sped up passing a semi. “You can’t figure that out?”
“I would be guessing.”
“Seriously? I told you I don’t like these tests. It’s playing with women’s emotions.”
“I’m not playing and have no intention of taking advantage of anyone. That’s why I’m the only one carrying out the experiments. The reason I wanted your help, is to avoid such problems.” He looked at her intently. “I’ve told you that.”
“Yeah, well, I know all about the pavement of good intentions. It keeps lawyers in business. Have all your experiment subjects called you back?”
“A few. Why?”
“What did you tell them?”
“What I told you. Two, Suzie and Donna, had good ideas for how to turn down the others without hurting their feelings.”
“Terrific. How many of your experiments are you going to date?” Toni eyed him suspiciously before looking back at the road.
“They stopped being experiments when I left the bars.” He turned in his seat to look at Toni. “Why does my dating them bother you?” It was dark and the lights of the passing cars made BJ’s eyes flash whenever she glanced at him.
She turned up the car’s heater. “I’m concerned for the women involved and because your experiments are crammed full of ethical and legal landmines. It’s only going to get worse when you use your formula tonight.”
“Worse? What problems? I’ve usually had an enjoyable time, and as far as I can tell, so have the women. Is there anything unethical about that?”
“Women, plural?”
“Yes, plural. I plan to date two to be exact.” He looked hard at Toni. “You seem to disapprove of my hard-earned success with women.”
She barked a laugh. “Hard earned?”
“For me, yes. It required a great deal of work and I’m still learning. Why shouldn’t I enjoy my new social skills?”
“To date and bed as many women as you can?”
“You disapprove? Is that what you mean by unethical?” He was sounding angry. “ You ?”
That hit home. With a glance at him that Toni wished could maim, she said, “You think I date and sleep with as many men as I can?”
BJ said in a quieter voice, “From what I have seen, the first seems to be true, Toni. I don’t know about the second, though I hear rumors.”
Toni gave a disgusted sigh. “Yeah, ya gotta love office gossip,” she said and then turned to him. “But I don’t, got it?”
He relaxed back into his seat and nodded. “Message received.”
She had no right to hold BJ to a standard she so often flaunted. She made an exasperated snicking sound between her teeth. “I’m sorry, BJ. I didn’t mean to go all judgmental on you. You have every right to date as often as you want with whomever you like.” Hell, I might give up the practice, I do it so badly compared to you.
She rolled her head to loosen her neck and changed the subject. “Sam drove you into the city for your dates.”
“Usually,” he replied, his voice still disturbingly edgy. “That was kinda hard on him when I didn’t Uber, until he began seeing Rena.”
“I’ll bet.” Toni noticed BJ was picking up Sam’s Midwest “kinda” and other words. The old Starling with his wide-eyed view of the world and complete sentences was disappearing, becoming another all-star player, the kind she seemed to date, only with an olfactory edge. It all bothered her. A lot.
She appreciated how BJ was different. He had a curious, enthusiastic view of the world where he discovered and appreciated rather than taking whatever he could. Yet all she did was make him angry. She was beginning to think she was born irritated and irritating. BJ must think so. It was a lawyer’s curse to be distrustful and aggravating.
“Well, the sex scent,” Toni said in a professional tone, “makes your efforts to work the room tonight totally different.”
“That’s the expectation, yes.” He shifted in the seat. “It’s one-tenth the concentration Bonnie experienced, and by my calculations barely detectable.”
“Why do you have to test the formula? Why do it at all?” Bonnie’s descriptions of BJ ran through Toni’s mind as the lights of Bellevue passed by and the Seattle skyline came into view on the far side of Lake Washington, glittering against the night sky. There it was, Dr. Starling’s romance laboratory, lit up and beckoning them on to better love through chemistry.
“Curiosity mostly, but there are possible therapeutic benefits involved.”
“Therapeutic.” Toni grunted in unladylike fashion. “I’ll bet. Just to be clear, I’m to call you when I think you need rescuing from whatever situation you have created?”
“Yes, to provide an excuse to leave if things get out-of-hand. It is also a safety net if I am too involved to see it.”
Toni fumed, hunched over the steering wheel, her forehead tight as the Gordian Knot. She was not only scared to death of BJ’s sex scent. She worried about how its success would change him still more—and their relationship, such as it was.