Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
Kinsley
As I walk to the master bedroom, I keep repeating to myself that Taylor’s okay, hoping if I repeat it enough times, I’ll believe it. Shane might’ve said everything will be okay, but until I see her for myself, I won’t believe it.
I don’t understand why her mom would let her take her seat belt off. And what was Taylor thinking? It only takes a split second. What if the accident were worse and she flew farther? Hit her head harder? We could’ve lost her, and for what? So she could have her damn iPad? The second I see her—after I confirm she’s okay—I’m going to make sure she never does that shit again.
When I step inside the room, I’m hit with all the sticky notes I put everywhere. I quickly remove them all since now isn’t the time to be cute—and Shane obviously didn’t notice them when he was in here, waking me up—and shove them into my makeup bag, knowing he won’t look in there. After I get ready, I locate a few of Taylor’s favorite books and then meet Shane by the front door.
On the way to the hospital, a thought hits me. “How did you know about the accident if your phone was dead?”
Shane glances at me and then back to the road. “It’s a small town. There’s only one fire station, and the accident was on Main Street.”
“Oh my God.” I gasp. “You …”
“Yeah,” he says, not needing me to finish my question. “We got the call, and I didn’t know it was them until we arrived. I freaked, but David helped me get my shit together. We only had five men on the scene with two victims. Luckily, she veered off the road and hit a bench so nobody else was injured. We’re not usually supposed to treat family, but we needed all hands on deck, so David and I treated Taylor while Luke and Brian treated Jamie. Billy was driving the engine.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say to him, threading our fingers together. “I can’t even imagine. When Brandon and I got into the accident, I blacked out. I used to wish I had stayed awake, wondering if maybe I could’ve saved him, but the doctors said there was nothing I could have done, so at least I don’t have the horrible memories of seeing him hurt and watching him die.”
“It was the worst call I’ve ever had,” he admits. “I’m just so damn thankful that Taylor’s okay. That they’re both okay.”
A few minutes later, we arrive and head in through the main entrance. After going through security, the scent of antiseptic hits me in the gut like a horrible reminder that while hospitals help people, not everyone who comes in has the luxury of leaving.
I take a deep breath as I try to slow my racing heart, but when I glance down, I find my hands shaking, and I worry that I’m about to have a panic attack.
“Can I meet you there?” I ask Shane, spotting a little store that has balloons and candy. “I want to grab a few things for Taylor.” And have a chance to calm myself down before I end up in a full-blown panic attack.
“Yeah. They’re on the third floor, room 302.” He kisses my temple. “I know this is hard for you, so if you can’t stay …”
“I’m okay,” I tell him. “Taylor is worth the discomfort. I’m just glad she’s okay.”
I spend a few minutes picking out a cute stuffed dog and her favorite candy, and when I know my emotions and nerves are in check, I head up to their floor.
I find their room number, and I’m about to walk in when I hear voices that halt me in place.
“Dad!” Taylor giggles. “I can’t wear this gown. It’s so ugly. Tell him, Mom.”
“She’s right, Shane,” Jamie chides playfully. “What if that cute doctor comes back?”
“That doctor is too old for you to even be looking at,” Shane growls, making Taylor and her mom laugh.
I step closer, peeking in, and find Shane sitting on the edge of Taylor’s bed with her mom lying in a bed next to her.
I watch them for a few minutes, and I can’t help the way my gut churns at how much they look like a family.
When Jamie groans, Shane gets up and goes to her side.
“You okay?” he asks, concern laced in his tone.
“Yeah.” She smiles warmly at him. “But would you mind fluffing my pillows? I feel like I’m sinking.”
“Sure.” He goes about fixing her pillows, and once he’s done, she threads her fingers through his, making me want to rip her hand off and cry at the same time.
“Thank you, Shane,” she says. “This whole ordeal has been horrible, but I really appreciate everything you’ve done for us.”
“It comes with the job,” he says, removing his hand from hers and taking a step back. “Both as a paramedic and Taylor’s dad.”
When he turns around, his eyes lock with mine, so I step inside.
“Hey,” he says, walking over and giving me a kiss.
“Hey,” I say back.
“Kinsley, I’m so glad you’re here,” Taylor says with a soft smile.
I glance over at her, and it’s then I notice all the tiny cuts on her face and arms. Her wrist is covered in a bright pink cast, and her forehead looks like it’s been glued together.
But she’s alive. Her heart is beating behind her rib cage, her eyes are a bright green, and she’s smiling.
I try to keep my tears at bay, but they still come. “I brought you some stuff,” I say, setting her books and items I bought at the gift shop on the table. “But first, I need to hug you.” I lean over and give her a gentle hug, kissing the top of her head and inhaling her scent. “I was so worried,” I tell her, sitting on the edge of her bed. “When your dad told me what happened …”
“I know,” she says, “but I’m okay. A bit banged up but okay. I promise. Though Casey is going to be super pissed when she finds out that I won’t be going to Nationals or Worlds since I’ll be stuck in this cast for the next few months. She’s going to have to rework the entire routine.”
I want to tell her that none of that matters and the only thing that does is that she’s alive, but I know cheerleading is important to her, so instead, I say, “You have next year, right?”
“Yeah.” She shrugs. “If we make it that far.”
“You will,” I assure her. “It won’t help with cheerleading, but I brought your favorite books.” I grab one of the books from the bag. “Figured you could get lost in Marco and Bella.”
She told me they’re her go-to couple when she’s feeling down.
“Thank you.” Taylor grins, taking the paperback from me. “What else is in there?” She eyes the bag playfully.
“I saw this, and it reminded me of Becky.” I hand her the stuffed dog. “And your favorite candy.” I grab them out of the bag and set them in her lap. “When you get out of here, we’re going to need to?—”
“Shane,” Jamie says, cutting me off, “I hate to cut this visit short, but my head is pounding, and the noise is making it worse.” Her words come out sugary sweet, but someone would have to be an idiot not to see what her intention is.
“Jamie,” Shane starts, but I stand, not wanting to cause anyone stress, least of all Taylor.
“It’s okay,” I tell him. “I actually have a doctor’s appointment I need to get to.”
With everything going on, I forgot about it, until the calendar alert on my phone went off and reminded me while I was in the gift shop.
“Everything okay?” he asks, clearly having forgotten that I mentioned going to the doctor this week to get checked and get on birth control.
“Yeah, just a routine checkup.”
“Okay, I can drive you there …”
“No need.” I plaster a smile on my face. “It’s actually in the west wing of the hospital.”
“Oh, okay. Do you want me to go with you?” He glances from me to Taylor, torn between staying with her and coming with me, and I shake my head.
I didn’t plan on him going, but even if I did, I wouldn’t pull him away from his daughter.
“Nope.” I lean on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Stay here. Taylor needs you.”
“All right, well, when you’re done, if you want to come back here—oh!” He pulls out a phone. “Before I forget, give me your number. I’m using my mom’s phone until I can get mine replaced.”
I relay my number to him and then walk over to Taylor. “I love you, kiddo.”
“Love you too,” she says. “When I’m better, do you think we can still go see NYU?”
“Of course.” I squeeze her hand. “Just focus on healing.”
I turn to leave, and as I walk by Jamie, I’d like to glare at her, but instead, I shoot for the higher road and say, “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Thank you,” Jamie murmurs. “If you could turn down the lights on your way out, I think that will help with my headache.”
* * *
When I get to the doctor’s office, I fill out the paperwork, give them a urine sample, and then head back with the nurse so she can get my weight and blood pressure.
She hands me a paper gown since I’m due for a full checkup today, and after getting undressed and putting it on, I hop up onto the medical bed to wait for Dr. Greenburg.
“Kinsley,” the doctor greets me a few minutes later. “How are you, dear?”
“I’m good,” I tell her as she takes a seat and opens her laptop.
“And how’s your mom?” she asks, looking up at me.
The thing about living in a small town is that everyone knows everyone, and since there are only a few gynecologists in Brookside, all of whom are part of the same practice, the women in my family—who live in town—come here.
“She’s good. I think my dad is close to retiring for a second time,” I say with a laugh. “She mentioned them doing some traveling since all of us are grown and out of the house.”
She told me this after I told her I was moving in with Shane. I think she’s been wanting to travel, but she was afraid to leave me. I’m glad they’ll finally get to enjoy their retirement. They deserve it.
“That sounds like fun,” she says, “but I expect she won’t be going too far since she’ll be a grandmother soon.”
She smiles warmly, and I look at her in confusion.
Did my sister get pregnant and not mention it? I didn’t even know she was serious with anyone.
Oh my God, did my brother knock someone up? No way. Mom would’ve told me.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I think you’re confusing my mom with someone else because nobody in my family is pregnant.”
Dr. Greenburg’s brow furrows. She looks at her laptop, types something, and then murmurs, “Oh, dear.”
“Everything okay?” I ask, getting a little antsy.
“Yes, I thought you were here for a new pregnancy appointment, but I misunderstood.”
“Oh, no,” I say with a laugh. “The opposite actually. I’m planning to get on birth control.”
Dr. Greenburg stands and walks over to me. “The reason I thought it was a new pregnancy appointment was because the urine sample you gave tested positive for pregnancy.”
It takes me a moment to wrap my brain around what she’s saying, but once I do, I shake my head. “That doesn’t make sense,” I tell her. “I was told that due to the accident and the placental abruption, it would make it harder for me to get pregnant.”
Dr. Greenburg nods in understanding. “How about we do an ultrasound, and that way, we can know for sure and go from there?”
She pushes the ultrasound cart over to the side of the examination bed, and suddenly, I really wish Shane were here with me.
“Since you didn’t know there was a chance you were pregnant, I’m going to assume you wouldn’t know how far along you are?”
I try to do the math in my head, but Shane and I have never used protection—despite saying we would start—and my periods have always been irregular. I was on birth control for it when I was younger, but after I lost Brenna and Brandon, I wasn’t in the right state of mind to deal with it.
“No, I have no clue. It couldn’t be more than a few weeks … maybe a couple of months? I’m sorry.” I sigh. “I sound so irresponsible.”
“No, you don’t,” she says. “You sound like most women who aren’t keeping track. Since you aren’t sure, I’m going to do a transvaginal ultrasound. Let me just grab the nurse.”
While she’s gone, I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling, refusing to believe that I’m pregnant. There’s no way. I mean, sure, we never used protection, but to get pregnant that quickly … no, there has to be something wrong.
A few minutes later, Dr. Greenburg returns with a nurse. She goes about checking me and then grabs the probe to do the ultrasound.
The screen is gray and fuzzy at first. I have no clue what I’m looking at, but I try to stay focused on what she’s doing, not wanting to think about the last time I was in this position. I was married, and we were so excited. Brandon held my hand while we both held our breaths, waiting for the doctor to confirm I was in fact pregnant.
“And that’s the heartbeat,” Dr. Greenburg says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Wh-what?” I stammer, blinking back the tears that are filling my lids. “Say that again.”
“Based on the size, you’re roughly seven weeks pregnant with a due date of December 16. Looks like you’ll be getting the best Christmas gift.”
“Are you sure?” I ask even though I can tell she’s not messing with me. No doctor would be that cruel.
“I am,” she says. “I know this is a shock to you, but you’re only seven weeks, so you do have options.”
Oh my God, she thinks …
“No,” I breathe out, my hand going to my belly. “I don’t want any options. I want this baby. It’s just … I don’t feel sick at all, and I was told it would be hard to conceive.”
“I read your chart, so I understand your concern. But right now, everything looks good. I’m going to recommend you get started on a prenatal vitamin and avoid as much stress as possible. I’m going to have the nurse run a panel of blood, and we’ll see you back in two weeks.”
“I thought it was every four weeks.”
“It is, but because of your history, I want to see you every two weeks, just so we can monitor you closely.” She pulls the probe out, sets it down, and removes her gloves. Then, she walks back over to me. “Congratulations, Kinsley. Despite the odds and what you were told, you’re carrying a little miracle. Some would say it was meant to be.”