32. Logan
Chapter Thirty-Two
LOGAN
When I wake up, it’s the middle of the night, and Meredith is gone.
I huff out a breath, sitting up and checking my phone.
No messages. No calls.
She left, just like that.
I clear my throat and sit up, anger rushing through me.
I spill my heart out to her, and she just leaves? No word? No kiss goodbye?
I have to fix this. I have to talk to her. There’s no way we can keep going this way. I’m so tired of holding back my feelings.
I lie there staring at the ceiling until nine in the morning, and then I make my way to town. I’ve got some things to plan.
Bryce calls at ten, and I pick up.
“Hey.”
“Hey, boss, what time should we be expecting you?”
“I’m not coming in today.”
“Oh… kay. Is everything okay?”
“I hope so.”
“That’s not exactly filling me with confidence.”
“Don’t worry, Bryce. It’s just… personal stuff.”
I hear an office door close on the other side of the line. “Meredith?”
“I’ll tell you all about it on Monday.”
I hang up before he can ask any more questions and run the errands I need to run.
It’s nearly two in the afternoon before I make it back to the hotel, but there’s more work to be done.
I look online at house listings and call a few realtors, and by the end of the day, I’m touring houses. I pick out a five-bedroom place near Grayson’s house. I know she’ll want to be near her family, and now that she’s moving in, it’s more important than ever to have a nice place.
It’s six when I finally call Meredith, and she is probably just leaving work. She doesn’t pick up on the first call, but I’m persistent, and on the third try, she answers.
“What do you want?”
“I’m sorry.”
She goes silent on the other line.
“I’m sorry for whatever I said to make you mad at me, princess?—”
“You don’t know what you did?” The anger in her voice makes me flinch.
“N-not exactly.”
I knew she wouldn’t want to be around me after I told her the truth. But I need her by my side. She is all I want. And I have to do whatever I can to make everything right.
I want to do right by her and our baby.
“You took away my choice. You, Grayson, and my parents have always taken away my choices, and this is just more of it.”
“Meredith, I didn’t mean to....” I sigh. “Listen, can I just come talk to you? Work all this out?”
“No. I need some space.”
I let out a long breath, trying not to panic. “How much space? I kept my promise and got us a house, so I hope not too much.”
She pauses. “You bought a house ?”
“Well, we talked about it, remember? When the doctor said you needed supervision. And with the baby coming, it’s not exactly like we can live in a hotel room.”
She huffs out a breath. “Just come over a bit early for the dinner party, and we’ll talk then.”
I swallow around the rock in my throat.
It’s hard not to panic when she acts like this–cold and distant. Before, when we were dating, when she got like this, she shut me out. It’s so awful when she shuts me out.
“Meredith.”
“Yes?”
“Everything is going to be okay.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “Thank you. I’ll see you at dinner.”
I spend the rest of the evening doing paperwork for the house, which I can move into starting tomorrow. I’ll need to ship some of my things from my old apartment, but the movers will take care of that.
I’m grateful to have the distraction.
* * *
I get up early and go to pick up the key from the realtor, signing the escrow paperwork in person.
“You know, you could have lowballed them.” The realtor’s smile is a little too much. “You paid way over asking price.”
I shrug. “Needed a place.”
She looks me up and down with interest that’s beyond just business.
I just stare back, uncaring.
She slips me her business card. “Next time you want to buy a place, call me personally. I’ll get you a good deal.”
“Thanks.” I take the card and throw it away as soon as I leave the office.
I’m antsy, feeling like my head is going to explode, like there’s something crawling under my skin.
I have to talk to Meredith. But I’ve been texting, and she hasn’t responded.
Finally, I just decide to go over there.
It’s about five in the afternoon, and the dinner party starts at seven, so we should have plenty of time.
At the gate, I buzz the intercom.
“Logan?” She must be looking at the cameras by the gate.
I clear my throat. “It’s the day of the dinner.”
She silently buzzes me in, and I drive up to park behind her in their huge garage. Her little Audi doesn’t take up much space.
Meredith meets me at the door, her arms crossed over her chest.
“What’s so important?”
“I wanted to apologize.”
“You said that already. But how can you apologize if you don’t even know what you did wrong.”
I inhale through my nostrils, trying not to panic.
“Regardless of what you think I did wrong when we talked, I do know one thing I did wrong. And that’s leaving you. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and it was also the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”
Her shoulders slump just a fraction, but I know I’m getting to her.
“You can’t just breeze back into my life and expect me to?—”
I hold up a hand. “I’m not expecting anything. I promise. I just… I need to tell you how I feel.”
She frowns. “How you feel?”
“I love you, Meredith.”
Her blue eyes widen.
“I’ve been in love with you since the first moment I saw you, when you were on that tire swing in those little daisy dukes you always wore in the summer.”
“Logan, you can’t do this to me.” Her voice trembles, and her arms drop to her sides. “You can’t leave me and ruin everything and then come back and say these things.”
“I wish I could take it all back. I wish that I could hop in a time machine and never leave you, princess, but I can’t do that. I’ve never thought that I could be the man you deserve, and maybe I can’t. Maybe I can’t, but I want to try. I really want to try. Because whatever else I may lack, no one will ever love you as much as I do.”
She goes completely silent, her eyes filling with tears. “Logan, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say we can try. Say you want this to work. I know you don’t love me, but we can work on that. I can love enough for the both of us. Please.”
She opens her mouth, but then closes it again. “I don’t know how to trust you won’t do it again.”
“Meredith, I will never leave you again. Not ever.” I take a few steps toward her and when she doesn’t back away, my heart starts beating faster.
I cup her face and kiss her passionately.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Shit. Grayson.
I break apart from Meredith, and she starts to speak, but Grayson grabs onto my shoulder, throwing me off the porch.
I roll down the steps, groaning as my ribs hit the ground.
Then Grayson’s on top of me, punching me in the body and then one good time in the face, and my nose starts to pour blood.
“Grayson! Stop it!” Meredith rushes down to pull him off me, but he just keeps coming.
My head is spinning from the punch in the nose, and I try to scramble up into a standing position.
“Fight me back,” he spits, struggling in Meredith’s grasp.
“No.” I wipe my sleeve across my bloody nose, ruining my six-hundred-dollar silk shirt. “You’re right to hit me. I should’ve told you.”
“Hell, yes, you should’ve told me!”
Meredith smacks him on the shoulder.
He finally looks at her as if it’s for the first time.
“The stress isn’t good for me. Please shut up for five minutes so we can explain.”
“The stress? You’re the one who?—”
“She's pregnant,” I say flatly, and then he tackles me to the ground, punching me in the face again.
Everything goes black for a brief moment, and then my vision is back but swimming.
“Grayson, stop ! You’re going to kill him.”
“Good,” he growls, but then finally he stands up, moving off me and spitting blood onto the ground where I’d elbowed him in the mouth by accident.
He points at Meredith. “You. Speak. Tell me what the hell is going on.”
“He’s right. I’m pregnant.” She sighs heavily. “And it’s his.”
“What the fuck ?” Grayson looks absolutely bewildered, and it may have been funny if I didn’t think I might die.
I sniffle, trying to breathe through my possibly broken nose. “I'm sorry, Grayson. I’m so sorry that?—”
“That you knocked up my baby sister?”
“No. No, I can’t be sorry about that.” I think he’s going to hit me again but thankfully, he doesn’t. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you.”
“How long has this been going on?”
Meredith winces. “Uh, originally? Since I was eighteen.”
“ Eighteen ? I’m going to kill you.” He glares at me.
“In my defense, I was only nineteen!”
Grayson grits his teeth, putting his fist down. His knuckles are bloody.
Meredith shakes her head. “Listen, why don’t we all go inside before everyone arrives and?—”
Two more cars pull into the driveway.
Mallory gets out first, rushing to me. “Logan, dear, what happened? Grayson?”
Meredith looks at Grayson desperately, and he sighs and rubs a hand across his face.
“Just a little scuffle among friends.”
“Hell of a scuffle,” Meredith’s father points out. “Let’s get inside and get you two cleaned up.”
We all head into the foyer, and Meredith drags me to the closest bathroom, putting toilet paper up my nose to staunch the bleeding.
“Jesus, I’m sorry he hit you so hard.”
“Me too.” I try to keep the blood from running down my throat.
“I can’t believe you kissed me in front of my parents’ house right before they showed up. What were you thinking?”
I grin at her, still feeling a little punch-drunk. “I love you. That’s what I was thinking.”
“You’re concussed.”
I bark out a laugh, but it hurts my nose, and I wince.
At least it’s all out in the open, now.
She huffs out a breath and cleans my face with a cool, wet cloth.
It feels blissful, and I moan a little.
She flushes. “Stop that. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place.”
I’m laughing again but fuck, my ribs hurt.
“I think you should talk to Grayson. Alone. I’ll deal with my parents.”
I nod slowly to not hurt my face, and she kisses me hesitantly on the cheek.
“Meredith…”
I want to ask her if she will ever be able to forgive me, if she can ever love me, but the words won’t come. I guess if she can’t, I really don’t want to know.
She walks out of the bathroom, and I follow.
Grayson paces around the foyer, and I brace myself on one of the lounge couches, still feeling slightly dizzy.
“I’m not sorry I hit you,” he grinds out from between gritted teeth, and I shrug.
“Fair enough.”
“You’ve been seeing her since she was eighteen?”
“No. We got together, then, but we broke up. Just before she went to college.”
He frowns, then his eyes widen. “Which is why she had that breakdown.”
I don’t respond, and Grayson groans.
“Why does it have to be you?”
“I’m not good enough for her. I know that.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
I sigh. “I heard you and your parents talking more than once. I heard it when your mother told you I am a nobody. No news there, but it still hurt.”
“You were never a nobody to me. And apparently, not to my sister, either. But why the fuck did you have to mess with my sister?”
“I know, I’m not Whitlock-worthy, right?”
“What? No! That’s not what I mean, you idiot! I mean, you’re my best friend. Who am I supposed to talk to about girls?”
“You don’t talk about girls. You talk about Lillian.”
“Then who do I talk to about her?”
“Still me. Doesn’t have to change.”
“While you’re married to my sister?”
I look up at him. “Wh-what?”
“Well, you do plan to do the right thing, don’t you?”
“She won’t have me.”
Grayson laughs.
“Of course, she will. I saw the way you two were sucking each other’s faces.” He grimaces. “It’s love, or whatever.”
I smile. “You really think so?”
“Seems like you need a conversation with my sister more than you need one with me.”
I look at him. “Does that mean you forgive me?”
Grayson sighs heavily. “Yes, I forgive you. It’d be stupid not to. Your biggest crime is falling in love. I know what that’s like.”
I can’t stop myself from going to him and pulling him into a hug, and he claps me on the back.
I wince, and he laughs.
“Shit. Did I break a rib?”
“Just bruised.”
I hope.
Heated voices come from the kitchen, and I look at Grayson.
“You ready for this?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Grayson nods and walks into the dining room with his parents and sister, and I follow like I’m following him to hell itself.