37. Logan
Chapter Thirty-Seven
LOGAN
Three months later
“They’re a minute apart, Logan, step on it!” Meredith screams.
I slide the car on ice into the emergency room, nearly hitting the curb.
I yell for help and someone in scrubs comes running.
The next thing I know, I’m holding onto Meredith’s hand and she’s screaming bloody murder and I’m starting to be afraid.
Dr. Klein comes in and quickly checks her cervix and does some measurements before looking at her seriously.
“I know that you wanted a natural birth, Meredith, but that’s not going to happen. The baby’s head and shoulders are too big.”
Meredith pants out a sob. “I don’t care, just get it out of me!”
I could almost laugh, but somehow I don’t think she’d appreciate that.
“Do I still get to be there?”
“Yep,” one of the nurses chirps. “Let’s gown you up, daddy.”
The next thing I know I’m being pushed into an operating room with a hair net on my head and a mask around my nose and mouth, and Meredith’s finally stopped screaming.
“Oh, that’s so much better,” she breathes.
“It’s a spinal block. You should be awake and alert but not feel anything but pressure.”
“It’s absolutely blissful, thank you.”
The doctor chuckles a little and then starts cutting into my wife .
My knees go weak, and I have to brace myself on the operating table.
“Mr. Matthews?” The nurse’s voice sounds very far away, and I bite down hard on my tongue, drawing blood, to stay alert.
I have to keep it together. I just can’t look at them cutting Meredith, so I look down into her face, instead.
“You’re doing amazing, princess. I can’t wait to meet our baby.”
“Here she is,” the doctor says, and I look down to see a squirming, squalling, little thing who may just be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, right after her mother.
“A girl,” Meredith mumbles, but it’s almost slurred, and I watch as Dr. Klein’s face goes pale.
“Get him out of here.”
It takes two male nurses and a female one to get me out of the room.
I keep fighting to get back to Meredith, to see her face, make her open her eyes.
It takes two hours before Dr. Klein comes out of the operating room, and his apron is covered in blood.
I brace myself on the chair so I don’t drop to my knees.
Grayson and Meredith’s parents are on the way, but right now, I’m alone, and I feel it in my bones.
“What happened?” My throat is raspy dry.
“Just some bleeding we didn’t anticipate. She’s all right, now, but she lost a lot of blood. She’ll need a lot of rest, and a lot of help with the baby after such a complicated surgery.”
“She’s all right? She’s really okay?”
“She’s really okay.” He claps me on the shoulder and then I do go down, plopping down into a chair and putting my face in my hands.
Grayson walks up to me a few minutes later and when I look up at him, his face is wrecked.
“Oh, God, she?—”
“She’s okay,” I say quickly. “She’s okay and so is the baby. A little girl. Born at three a.m.”
“Oh, thank God.” Grayson plops down next to me. “Lillian had to stay home with the kids. Max has a stomach bug. You’ll see when yours is older, but kids are always getting sick.”
I laugh, wiping at my face. “It was touch and go for a minute, I thought?—”
“Don’t, Logan. It’ll drive you crazy. She’s okay, and so is the baby, and that’s all that matters.”
“Yeah.” But I don’t think I’ll believe it until I see her face, her beautiful eyes.
In another hour, they call my name.
“She's asking for you,” the nurse says, and I practically bowl her over getting to Meredith’s room.
“Princess, how are you feeling?”
She’s leaning back, looking at the baby.
“Isn’t she just so beautiful, Logan?”
“Both my girls are beautiful.”
“Rosa, right? And you can pick the middle name.”
“Leah,” It’s been my favorite, and I plan to call her that, whether Meredith likes it or not.
“Rosa Leah. Sounds pretty and musical.”
“You still a little out of it from the meds?” I grin, and she nods.
I step up to where my daughter is lying, and I go to pick her up. I have to touch her, make sure she is okay too.
“Support her head.”
I nod. “I know how to hold a baby.”
Leah looks up at me with gray-blue eyes and suddenly the whole world falls away. It’s like I’m only tethered to this life by Meredith and baby Rosa Leah, my girls.
Tears stream down my face before I can stop them, and Meredith takes my hand, squeezing it tightly.
“We’ll take her to Maui when she’s old enough. Take her to that fortune teller.”
“She was right,” I said slowly. “About the gender. The name.”
“Or do you think we took her predictions to heart?”
“She couldn’t have known the baby was a girl.”
“Fifty-fifty shot, I guess, But she got it right. I love you, Logan.”
“I love you so much, princess.”
Some days, I still don’t know if I’m good enough for Meredith, but most days, I want to try to be the best man I can for her.
I think that will have to be good enough.