Epilogue
EPILOGUE
Logan
Two Years Later
The flight to Maui is only a little less terrible because it’s on Meredith’s father’s private jet, but it’s still ten hours with a two-year-old who can’t understand why her ears are popping.
I’m exhausted by the time we make it to the hotel, but Meredith seems to be on a mission.
She hurries to unpack and change Leah and herself while I sit on the bed listlessly.
“Come on, we have to see if Madame Bouvier is still working here! She’ll be closing soon, and we need to get there.”
Leah sleeps on the ride to the fortune teller’s hut, but she’s wide awake and crawling around in my arms like I’m a jungle gym when we arrive.
“Dada, Mama, beach !” She points at some seashells on the door of the hut.
“That’s right, baby. Beach. We’re going there tomorrow. Now Mama wants to talk to the nice lady.”
She gets easily distracted as I show her other colorful things around.
I just want Meredith to have a good experience.
“I remember you, lady. With the flower-named baby.”
“That’s me. That’s her with my husband, see? Her name is Rosa.”
“Beautiful name.”
I wave awkwardly, and she smiles at me, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
“I see you still have your man.”
“Going strong and steady.” Meredith smiles brightly.
“There will be another.”
My shoulders stiffen. “What’s that now?”
Meredith is staring into the fortune teller’s eyes.
“Oh.”
“He will be your truest love, more than any other man.”
What ?
“Hey, lady, wait a minute?—”
The fortune teller just chuckles and points at Meredith’s belly.
“Baby.” Rosa points too, and I go pale.
“You’re pregnant?”
“I had my suspicions, but…yeah. I think I am.”
I cry out and scoop her up into my arms with Leah, juggling them both around until they whine and wiggle away.
My daughter gets down on the ground and immediately starts touching the crystals, so Meredith picks her up again.
We pay Madame Bouvier triple what she asks for and make our way back to the hotel.
When our baby’s finally down on her cot and sleeping peacefully, Meredith sidles up next to me in bed.
“Are you really pregnant? You really think she can see that?”
“I’ve had all the symptoms. Remember that ‘stomach virus’ I had a couple of weeks ago? And I haven’t had my period in nearly two months.”
“Maybe it was just a lucky guess.”
Meredith kisses along my neck. “Maybe. But I think we’re the lucky ones.”
Meredith and I make rushed and quiet but sweet love in the hotel bed, falling asleep soon after.
A few days later, I sneak out alone and, without telling Meredith, and go back to see Madame Bouvier.
“Sit, son, if you want your palm read.”
“I’m not sure this is real.”
“You’re at least a little sure, if you’re here,” she jokes, and takes my hand, humming as she traces her fingernail over the lines on my palm.
Then she places it down on the table.
“You’re a good man.”
My eyes fill with tears.
“A good husband. Father. You worry too much, but it’s okay. You are enough. You are perfect for them.”
And just like that, I’m crying. I pay her a thousand dollars for my reading, and I know I’ll never regret it. Not once.
* * *
Roland Gregory Matthews is born six and a half months later, and my family is complete.
I finally feel good enough to be a father, to be Meredith’s husband. Strange to think a fortune teller went a long way to helping me realize that.
Maybe there’s a part of me who will never believe I’m good enough, for Meredith, for the kids, for my wealth–for any of it. Just like there’s a part of me that believes my father didn’t love me, even though on his deathbed, he said he did. Said he always tried to be better.
And, in the end, isn’t that what’s important? Trying to be better?
I may not always succeed, but I try every moment I live, every breath I take.
I’ll never stop trying to be the man my family deserves, and maybe I’m close enough.
Meredith kisses me and jolts me back to reality.
“You were a million miles away.”
“No. I’m here with you, princess. Always. Right where I belong.”
As I kiss her again, I think of Madame Bouvier and Grayson and Mallory and all the people who forced us apart and got us back together again. The world kept spinning when I left Meredith, but it was a dim world.
Now, everything feels so bright you’d think it would hurt my eyes. And I hope it only shines brighter every day.