3. Three
Three
Tae
I open the message thread on my phone again and stare at it. The message has sat on read without a response from Jude for the last two days. Normally, that wouldn’t be a big deal. Only none of this has been normal since that night. I admit it; I freaked out when I realized it was Jude in my bed. I was so caught up in my own head that I didn’t check in and see how Jude was feeling about any of it.
My own memories of the night are fuzzy, but I distinctly remember Jude kissed me first. What happened wasn’t one-sided. We were both drunk, but he wanted it as much as I did. Except, as far as I know, Jude’s never been with a guy. Which makes all of this more complicated.
I came out as bi when we were still in high school. Jude’s always been supportive, but he would’ve said something by now, right? Just because we fooled around while we were drunk doesn’t mean he isn’t straight. But even putting all that aside, I have no idea what us hooking up means for our friendship.
I’m usually good with casual hookups and one-night stands, but Jude is the kind of guy that dates a girl first. In the entire time that we’ve been friends, I’ve never seen him hook up without there being feelings. So, what does it mean that he’d hook up with me?
My phone buzzes, and a new message pops up, but it’s not from Jude.
Austin
You want to hang out? We can hit the park and play catch or something?
Sure. Meet you there in 15 minutes.
If nothing else, hanging out with Austin might give me a distraction to take my mind off Jude. I change my pj pants for a pair of athletic shorts and grab my baseball bag. “Heading to the park. I’ll be back later,” I call to my mom. I live close enough to walk, and this way I’ll be warmed up by the time Austin shows up.
My phone stays silent on the way there. When I get to the park, I drop my bag and grab my water bottle. I’m still taking a big drink when I hear Austin call my name, “Tae!”
I wave, finishing my drink and turning to look at my friend. “Two days home and you’re already tired of being cooped up at your house?”
“Maybe I missed your pretty face,” Austin says with a smirk. We’ve been on the same baseball team since high school, and we bonded quickly over the fact that we both like guys. I know he’d be willing to listen to me rant about what’s going on with Jude, but I’m not there yet.
“Of all your possible hookup matches on Poundr, you pick me? I’m flattered.” I unzip my bag and pull out my glove and a baseball. “Are we playing with my ball or yours?” I ask with a waggle of my brows.
Austin laughs and takes a step closer, placing his hand on top of the ball in my hand. “What about you, huh? No plans with Jude today? You two are usually glued together at the hip.” He takes the ball, tossing it up in the air before catching it in his other hand.
“You ever kissed a straight guy?” I ask, changing the subject.
Austin pulls on his glove as he talks. “I’d rather be with a guy who knows what he’s doing.” Austin steps back, shaking his head before he turns around and throws the ball at me. I catch it, the ball hitting my mitt with a solid thwack. “Wait, who did you kiss? Something happen between you and Jude?” His eyebrows raise, and I take the opportunity to throw the ball his way.
“No. Maybe. We were drunk. It doesn’t count.” I shake my head, waiting for Austin to throw the ball again, but he’s standing there looking at me with his jaw dropped slightly.
“Do you want it to count?”
Maybe that’s the most confusing part about all this. Jude is my best friend. We’re close, and I’ve never let myself consider that possibility because ... “He’s straight. Just because something happened while he was drunk doesn’t change that.”
“Normally, I’d agree with you, but it’s Jude. Even when he’s drunk, he’s not the type to just hook up with someone. And you’re not just any random guy. That has to mean something, right?”
I don’t remember enough to put the pieces together. I don’t remember exactly how it got to the point where our clothes came off. “We’ve been best friends for years. What if I’m just a safe option to explore some bi-curiosity?”
“You’ve got it bad. You really like him, don’t you?” Austin smirks as he finally tosses the ball at me, but it sails right over my glove. I’m not paying enough attention.
“Can we drop it? I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this. Just forget I said anything. I doubt Jude wants anyone to know.” I head toward the ball, hoping Austin will go along with the change of topics.
“Sure, I don’t know anything, but for the record, you should talk to Jude. Like you said, you’ve been best friends for years. I bet he’s feeling a bit confused, too.”
I almost want to tell him I tried, but maybe my text message was too little too late. Why would Jude want to talk to me about what he’s going through after how I kicked him out of my room?
Later that night, I’m still thinking about what Austin said. Maybe I should try harder to talk to Jude. I read over our last few text messages again. I already offered talking to him, but maybe that was too direct.
What are you doing tomorrow? Want to hang out?
Either way, it should give me a hint about how Jude is feeling about the whole thing. If he’s willing to hang out with me, I can try to talk to him in person, rather than making this more awkward over the phone. Minutes pass without an answer, but I don’t want to seem too impatient. I grab the remote and turn on the TV for a distraction, but I can’t escape the thoughts of Jude. My fuzzy memories of kissing down his chest and undoing his pants. The muffled moans he made, like he was trying to be quiet.
Fuck. My dick twitches at the memory. I had a brief thing for Jude when we were in high school, but I haven’t let myself really think about it in years. Would he kiss me again without being drunk? I slide my hand into my shorts to readjust my junk, giving my dick a firm squeeze. Then my phone chimes with a new message.
Jude
Your place or mine?
Guess he isn’t mad at me, but I probably shouldn’t tell him I was touching myself when I got his text. Even if he is just bi-curious, would it be terrible to let Jude experiment with me if he wants to? The idea is kinda hot. My hand slides down my dick, giving it a firm stroke. I don’t know how much he remembers from that night, but other than kissing, Jude didn’t really touch me. We were making out, and it led to me giving him a blowjob as I jerked myself off. It’s not enough for me to go off of. It doesn’t mean he’s interested.
Yours. I’ll see you around ten?
I don’t wait for a response from Jude as I push down my shorts. This is a bad idea, but thinking of fooling around with Jude has left me with an issue. I don’t really expect this to go anywhere, but I’m not against the idea either. If nothing else, it’s a decent fantasy to jerk off to.
I’ve always thought Jude was good looking, even though I know he doesn’t feel that way. There’s something cute about how he smiles when he’s talking about his hobbies and interests. He’s got that whole adorable nerd thing going on. A little on the chubby side, but there’s a solid layer of muscle hidden under the surface. Most people wouldn’t even notice, but when I’ve gone on hikes with Jude, he leaves me in the dust. All of that’s not even counting the way his green eyes light up every time he sees me.
An image of those eyes pops into my head, along with the vague memory of kissing Jude. We were too drunk to do anything other than sloppily make out, but I’m betting he’s more the type of guy to slowly and deeply kiss. My hand tightens on my cock, and I let myself take the fantasy a step deeper. Imagining Jude touching me and hesitantly exploring my body. Fuck, that’s hotter than I thought it’d be. My balls tighten up at the idea. I like the idea of being the first guy Jude’s ever been with, and the crazy thing is I probably already was, even if we never do anything else.
I wonder if he’d want to repay the favor. That thought pushes me over the edge. Jude down on his knees with his mouth wrapped around my dick. My phone has a missed message by the time I clean up. There’s a thumbs-up emoji from Jude. Shit. How am I supposed to hang out with him tomorrow after what I just jerked off to? What if he doesn’t want to do anything? What if he just wants to forget the whole mess?