Ezra 16.
I stare at my computer screen, not really taking in what’s on it. My vision blurs as my mind runs through the unfortunate breakfast a few mornings ago and the high I’ve been riding since.
If I ignore the fact that my cousin has slept with my girlfriend and at least one of her sisters --I mean push it way, way down deep, never to be thought of ever again – I can happily admit that Dottie slotted in with my family seamlessly. I knew she would, but to see it happen soothed a part of me I didn’t know existed until her.
She and I have both been busy, so we haven’t seen one another beyond dinner last night, but we’ve spoken on the phone for hours. It’s like meeting my family knocked down some invisible barrier and freed her. She’s lighter somehow. Open. And so damn beautiful that my cock is in a constant state of arousal.
Ezra: Dinner tonight. Bring an overnight bag.
It’s only seconds before I see those irritating three little dots.
Dot: How very presumptuous of you.
Ezra: You. Me. Bed. Naked.
Dot: Hmm…
Dot: Though I do like the idea of being indoors and horizontal for once.
Ezra: It’ll be more than once.
Dot: Not only are you presumptuous this morning, you’re also arrogant.
Ezra: It ain’t arrogance, just a fact.
Dot: Well, to speed things along, why don’t you order takeout, and we’ll eat between rounds?
Ezra: Is it too early to propose?
Shit. I can’t believe I just sent that. My chest seizes for three seconds then releases. Marriage? Never something I’ve been opposed to, but certainly hadn’t found anyone I wanted to be with for more than a night or two. Definitely never brought anyone to the compound and introduced them to my mishpocheh . But marriage to Dottie? That’s an idea I can get behind…in front, on top, underneath.
“Assface.” Ugh. I’ve wished and hoped and prayed for one of those Men in Black memory eraser pens, but so far, my pleas have gone unanswered. It hurts to look at Tovah, knowing she had my girl before me. She notices my sour expression and rolls her eyes, stomping to my desk and towering over me from the other side. “Oh, grow the fuck up! So, I fucked your girl, and rocked her world. You were always destined to live in my shadow, just accept your place in the hierarchy of excellence and move the fuck on.” With a smirk that has my gut curdling, she leans her generous hip on the corner of my desk and taps one of her long-fingered talons on the wooden surface. “If you practice hard enough, there may come a time in your relationship when she stops comparing us.”
I swallow the bile that threatens to rise, close my eyes and inhale deeply. Letting it out slowly, I open my eyes and stare at the creature the devil himself hides from in the bowels of Hell. “Was there something you needed, or did you just come in here to bust my balls?”
Tovah shrugs carelessly, “Your misery is my joy.” She could go round and round and has. I’ve never been the victor and I don’t see that changing now. So, I decide to lay my cards on the table, and hope she’ll understand. I have a better chance of suddenly shitting golden eggs, but it’s worth a try.
“Tovah?” Her spine snaps at my tone. Weary, pathetic, desperate. “I don’t want to admit this to you, because you will no doubt use it against me for the rest of my natural life, but I love her. She’s the one.”
In a rare moment of humanity, Tovah places her cold hand on mine and squeezes affectionately. “I know. Could see it on your face, hear it in your voice, feet it at family breakfast.” She offers me a soft, kind smile and I reciprocate. My body deflates in my office chair. She understands. Somewhere behind that steel rib cage, may beat a real, functional heart. “Why do you think this is so much fun for me?”
I spoke too soon.
“Now, what I came in here for…” She stands up, smoothing her hands down her skirt, then meets my eye. “Mattuca needs you to approve the manifest for the next truck. So, lose the hearts in your eyes and find your balls and get your shit done.” She ignores my scowl, instead leaning over the desk to get right in my face. God, for someone so pretty she is downright terrifying. “I’d loan you mine, but they fill out my blouse so well.”