Chapter Nine #3
“Yet I wasn’t the one who bought one. Shit, I’m getting off track. Okay, quick twenty questions. Favorite color?”
“The color of misery.”
“Oh my god, this is going to be impossible.”
He’s so pleased by this. He’s like a giddy child getting away with something bad. “Is your favorite animal a squirrel?”
“How’d you know?” I tease. “I also like balls, going for walks, and sticks.”
“I like balls too.”
I decide that maybe I’ll just enjoy my meal, and if anyone asks me any questions about the vampire, I’ll just smile at them.
“Fine. Blue,” he grumbles, like it was painful to tell me.
“Red is mine,” I say. “And my favorite animal would be cats, but dogs are a close second. You?”
“Dog.”
“Do you have any pets?” I ask.
“I do. A dog named Gustov.”
“Do I get to meet them?”
“I bet you two would hit it off. I could throw a ball all evening and knock out exercising my dog and my date.”
“Ha. Ha.”
Casimir seems to notice me eyeing his steak because he scrapes it onto my plate since it’s not like he’s planning on eating it.
“Do you have any pets?” he asks.
“I don’t. Growing up, my dad would only get me animals in the hopes of me murdering them, and my mom wasn’t much of a pet person. When I moved out, I was determined to get a pet, and instead, I got stuck renting places that didn’t allow them.”
“I didn’t want Gustov. Someone left him in one of the hotel rooms with a note that they couldn’t take him and to find him a new home like that’s our job.
He proceeded to follow me around, and when I tried pawning him off on someone else, he ran after me and I decided that I would just eat him, so I took him home. ”
“Oh my god, you did what?” I ask in horror.
“No one wanted him, and the animal shelters were full.”
That poor dog! “You were going to eat him?”
“But I didn’t.”
“But you were going to.”
He shrugs like he doesn’t see the gigantic fang-filled issue here.
“Yeah, until he stared at me and I realized that I didn’t want all that dog hair in my mouth.
His coat is so thick, I wasn’t even sure if I could get to his jugular, and I was a little too lazy to try.
I mean… I tried a little, but there was so much fur. ”
“You are a monster.”
“Yes, I’m aware,” he says.
I look over at our table guests who seem enthralled and not at all disturbed by our talk, likely due to Casimir’s allure. Honestly, I’m hoping that when they go home, they have no recollection of our talk or, more specifically, us talking about eating a dog.
This is why vampires and weres are so different.
“I’m now concerned,” I admit.
“I’m not going around eating pets. Human blood is much more my style.”
“I’m regretting these questions… almost scared to continue. What about… hobbies. What do you enjoy doing?”
“I’m always up for chasing humans,” Casimir says with a smile. The smile just confirms that I’m on a date with a serial killer.
I raise an eyebrow.
“If I’m feeling frisky, I let them chase me back.”
Now I’m confused. “What the fuck? Is this like a porno or something?”
“Sometimes we even chase each other at the same time.”
So he’s being difficult. Of course he is.
“Ah, thank you for such lovely information. I love it all. When someone comes up to me and is like ‘Wow, you’re dating Casimir, tell me something about him,’ I can’t wait to go, ‘Ah yes, he loves to take innocent dogs home to eat and has a fetish for humans chasing him, preferably naked ones.”
“I never said they were naked.”
“Were they?”
“I mean… I’m not going to complain if they are. They usually giggle a lot, like ‘Oh, catch me if you can!’”
“I feel like I regret this entire conversation,” I say. “Maybe I should get paid to date you.”
“I’m paying you in my blood. Did you forget that I saved your life?”
Well, he wins that round. “Shiiiiit. You’re right. Okay, okay. So when’s your birthday?”
“Why?”
“Because I want to get you some naked people to chase around.”
“October. I probably won’t even remember you by then,” he says.
“That’s like six months away. Am I that forgettable?” I ask. “I feel slightly offended.”
“I’m going to be real honest… I don’t even remember your name.”
“You are joking, right?” I ask.
He stares at me.
“Oh my god. Are you not joking? So if you had to introduce me to someone right now as your date, how would it go?”
He turns to the humans who are enthralled with us. “Evening. My name’s Casimir and this is my date… Toto.”
“My name’s not Toto!”
“It was close,” he says.
“Not close in the slightest. I have no idea who you’re even going to fool into thinking we’re dating.”
He shrugs before looking back at the humans. “Am I good at this dating thing?”
“The best!” the woman says.
“I wish I was as romantic as you are,” the man says, a dreamy look on his face.
Casimir gives me a smug look.
“Conning them with your allure doesn’t count,” I say.
“Are you certain?”
“Positive.”
“Hmm… I think it does. Do you?” he asks the humans.
“Absolutely!” the woman enthuses. “Would you like to dance?”
Casimir cringes at that. “Absolutely not.”
It’s like he’s broken her heart. “Oh…”
The man perks up like maybe he has a chance now that his wife’s hopes and dreams have been crushed. “Would you like to dance with me, Casimir?”
“Absolutely not,” Casimir repeats before turning his attention to me. “Please don’t be jealous no one asked you.”
“I’m… not jealous.”
“That’s a good boy,” he says before petting me on the head. “Oh look, they’re cutting the cake. Go fetch yourself a piece.”
“You’re just too damn smug,” I realize.
He grins, pleased with himself.