Chapter Nine #2
“Would you like to be fed?”
“That’s a strange way to put it, but sure, I’d love ‘to be fed,’” I say.
“Good, good.”
I wait until he’s paid and we’re a distance away before I add, “Maybe someplace where vampires are in order to show off our new lovely relationship.”
“I hear you,” he says.
“You say you hear me, but I’m going to be real honest, after our last thrilling and romantic adventure I’m not sure how much more I can handle. You might need to slow down.”
“Funny. Now… do you want roadkill? I passed some on my way here.”
I give him a look as he stares at me with a serious expression on his face, nearly tricking me into thinking he’s being serious.
“You look like a wolf who would like roadkill.”
“Do I?” I respond dryly as we return to his car and get in our seats.
“Do you have a preference? Rabbit? Deer? Raccoon? But if you roll in it, you can’t get back in my car.”
“Is there another vampire I can set up this arrangement with? Maybe it’s not just your blood that’ll help me but the blood of other vampires.”
“I got it,” he says as he throws the car in drive and takes off.
I have absolutely no idea what he’s “got” and am already aware that it’s probably not good.
I’m going to regret it but here I am, going along for the ride because I’m a sucker…
and am also semi-amused. I mean, what else was I going to do tonight?
Go home to my boring house now that my mom’s finally permitted me to leave?
We reach a park, which I wasn’t expecting, and he pulls into a parking spot.
This time of night, the place is pretty dead, especially because it’s supposed to be closed after dark.
Casimir pops out of the car and hurries off, leaving me to jog to catch up, and when I do, I promptly wish I hadn’t wasted the energy.
He waves to a whole flock of ducks sleeping in the middle of the pond. “A feast fit for a king.”
I raise my eyebrow. “I am literally starving over here and you’re the absolute worst,” I decide.
He seems pleased with himself. “They are good and plump. They haven’t been prekilled, so they’ll be nice and fresh. Would you like me to fetch you one?”
“Yes, please.”
And in a flash, he’s returned, duck in hand. The poor thing looks confused and gives me a startled “Quack?” like it also wants to know what it’s gotten into. “Here you go.”
“No! Put it back!”
“Want me to drain it first?” he asks.
“Don’t you dare kill that cute creature,” I say as I pluck it out of his hands and try to send it back into the world to live another day.
Casimir tsks, like there’s some problem with this.
I glance up and notice a vampire heading our way, so I reach for Casimir’s hand. His response is to jerk his hand away like I was planning on tossing some acid on it.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Trying to hold your hand.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s what people do on dates, and we want this lady to know we’re dating.”
“I will simply announce, ‘We are dating. Look how lovely we are together.’” And then he pets my head like I’m a dog. “She’ll immediately understand.”
“Will she?” I ask. “Just… hold my hand.”
He sighs but holds his hand out and then proceeds to clasp it like you do at those awkward dinners where they make everyone hold hands before you’re allowed to eat, and you get stuck holding the hand of the creepy guy who just wants to talk about conspiracy theories.
I pull him to a stop and stare at our hands. “This is the most awkward hand-holding I’ve ever experienced, and I went on a lot of dates with girls in high school while being thoroughly uninterested in them.”
He flips his hand the other way, which now feels like he’s trying to do some kind of ultra martial arts move on me.
“Ow! My arm doesn’t bend that way!”
He sighs and I realize he’s literally not trying to be funny. “Why are you so much trouble? How else is there?”
“Hold on… excuse me… do you really… not…” I try to comprehend this for a moment. “Have you seriously never held hands with someone?”
“God, no. That sounds absolutely dreadful. I fuck and leave. Generally, I leave before they can even start that pillow-talk shit. Sometimes, I leave while we’re fucking. Even if they’re in my bed, I just leave.”
“You’ve never held someone’s hand?” I whisper, waaaaay too giddy about this. Honestly, I shouldn’t be so giddy.
“The look on your face is causing me irrepressible anger.”
“This is crazy delightful,” I announce. “Have you never watched a romance movie?”
“Sounds traumatic.”
So there we are, facing each other in some weird kind of handhold/torture technique as the vampire slowly walks by.
She’s staring at us like she’s never seen such a spectacle.
I can’t quite tell what her overall impression is as she continues to stare, and boy does she stare.
She’s watching so intently that she slams her leg into a park bench and nearly hits the ground.
“Interlock the fingers,” I say as I force his fingers between mine. “See?”
“And we enjoy this because?”
“Because you’re touching the one you ‘love.’”
“Are their hands usually this moist?” Casimir asks.
“Fucking hell, my hand is not moist.”
“Do you like sweaty or clammy better?”
I gape at him. “No! Stop being difficult.”
“Is there a reason why I need to stop?” he asks as we start walking hand in hand. “I do like that I now have complete control over you. Like if I want to pull you over here…” Casimir gives me a tug and since he’s a vampire with far too much strength, I have no choice but to be dragged along.
“That is not what this is for!”
“I kind of like this. I should hold hands with my enemies.”
I sigh as I stare at him, honestly not sure how much he’s being serious or how much is him being a smart-ass.
“Are we actually going to find something to eat?” I ask.
“Hmm… but there’s fresh duck right here.”
“I’m not going to eat an innocent duck!” I say.
“You’re right, the feathers are a bit dreadful when you get them stuck in your teeth while trying to get your fangs into their scrawny bodies.” With his free hand he’s miming all of this, which is equal parts fascinating and horrifying.
I stare at the monster I’m currently holding hands with. It’s a good thing the woman already walked past us because the look on my face probably wouldn’t convince anyone that we are out here with love in our hearts.
“Come along, Toto,” he says.
“Toto… What the hell? I’m not a dog,” I remind him, which I feel like I shouldn’t have to do.
“You’re right… I doubt a dog’s paw would be this moist.”
“If I didn’t currently need you to guarantee that I wouldn’t die, I’d leave your ass so quickly.”
“That’s understandable,” he says as he leads me across the street and over to the fanciest hotel in the area. I know it’s one that he owns, and I realize that I’m going to be eating high-class food tonight.
“What made you decide to move here and buy up half of the city?” I ask.
“I threw a dart at the map.”
“Ha ha… no, seriously.”
Casimir gives me his “I’m serious” look, and I realize that he one hundred percent decided his new location and caused my father unnecessary pain and suffering because of where his dart landed.
“My father would love to know that,” I mutter.
The pleasant smile on his face informs me that he has realized what he’ll tell my father the next time he sees him.
We step inside and I notice that there’s a good sprinkling of vampires here and there that I’ll get to flaunt my new man in front of.
The worker behind the counter is one, and another seems to be heading toward a room, stopped by her notice of us.
A third vampire had been leading a human woman into an elevator but he’s so shocked by us the woman ends up getting in the elevator that closes and leaves without him.
“Well, we definitely snagged some attention,” I say.
“Does that mean I still need to feed you?”
“It would be nice to give me an option other than a park duck.”
“You’re kind of picky,” he comments as he leads me down a hallway and through a large door. I’m expecting a restaurant or something, but what I’m not expecting is to waltz right into a wedding reception.
“We arrived just in time,” Casimir says as he starts over to a table that has two empty spots.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
“Getting you food.”
“Do you know these people?”
“Not in the slightest!” he says.
“Someone’s going to notice!”
“Of course not. Watch.” He turns to the two humans at the table and simply smiles at them. “Good evening.”
“Good evening!” the man announces. His voice is packed with delight, like he’s just bumped into his best friend from high school that he hasn’t seen in years.
“Oh! How wonderful to meet you! I’m Anna,” the woman says with the biggest smile.
Did he seriously just allure them?
“We came to eat,” Casimir explains, and the woman quickly holds up her plate.
“Here, you can have all of my food.”
“Uh… no, that’s okay,” I say, but she seems persistent, even after a waiter notices us and rushes over with a plate for me and Casimir.
“This is ridiculous,” I whisper to Casimir, but my eyes are fixated on the slices of steak topped with what looks like butter. To the side is chicken smothered in some kind of sauce with a gorgeous salad.
“It’s this or the duck. Your choice,” he says.
“You’re evil,” I murmur.
Casimir leans in close, a grin on his ridiculously handsome face. “Thank you.”
I cut into the beef with such ease as my mouth waters, and when I take a bite, it’s so tender it practically melts. “Mmmm, oh my god.”
“See? I know how to make someone moan,” he says.
“You doooooo. This is phenomenal,” I whisper as I take another bite. “So much better than the duck.”
“It looked like a good duck. Nice and thick.”
“It did not. Let’s forget about the duck. So… let’s get to know each other a bit,” I decide. “That way if someone asks us, we can pretend we know each other since I only know that you have no idea how to hold hands and like spooning robot vacuums in bed.”
“You were the one spooning it,” he says.