22. Donny
22
Donny
The guys had shown up earlier, after seeing the headlines about the fake engagement all over social media. They knew how I felt about Carmen, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it. I couldn’t put it into words—only feel it. So they stayed, not pressing me, just being here to show their support.
Dim light in the room casts long shadows over the polished hardwood floor, and the whiskey burns as it slides down my throat. The silence between us is thick, like a storm waiting to break. Just as I finish my second glass, a frantic knock echoes through the space, snapping the tension in the air.
Brent stops me from answering the door, his son strapped protectively in front of him, and steps ahead of me to answer.
“Julia?” He says as soon as the door swings open. “What are you doing here?”
His wife comes barreling through, pushing past him, and she storms over to me with her eyes narrowed. “Are you going to act this dense, Donny?”
I blink and frown at her. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“She’s thinking about walking away from everything!”
Is she talking about Carmen?
She has to be.
“Woah, babe, Brent says and tugs her closer to him, making sure not to jostle the baby in the process. What are you going on about?”
“Carmen, she’s talking about finding someone else to manage the band.”
It’s getting even worse. It was bad enough that she had to make sure a reporter got wind of the truth about our relationship, but now she’s leaving?
Mia steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder. “Donny, you need to think about everything.”
She waits until I’m looking at her to continue and cocks her head to the side. “Do you really think Carmen would’ve done all this shit if there wasn’t an ounce of feelings for you? It could’ve been done a while ago, but she stayed… doesn’t that mean something?”
I shake my head. “She told me she was going to tell everyone the truth, and now she did.”
Mallory scoffs next to Mia and shakes her head. “Seriously, dude? She didn’t do anything. ”
“She loves you, you idiot!” Julia blurts out, then throws a hand over her mouth with wide eyes and shakes her head. “Shit,” she mutters, “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“Carmen… loves me?”
My heart stutters in my chest. How long have I been waiting for those words? And now that I’ve heard them, why does the weight of them scare me more than anything?
Mia sighs heavily. “Of course she does, and now she’s a mess, thinking you’re never going to come back to her.”
“Why wouldn’t I? I just wanted some space to get my head in the right place.”
“You walked out on her,” Mallory snaps. “What was she supposed to think?”
Jace slides up to Mallory’s side and pulls her against his chest, whispering something to her that has her gaze softening just a little. There’s a pang of jealousy in my chest, watching the two of them together, and I quickly look away from them to stare at Julia.
“She told you this… that she loves me?” I ask, needing to hear it one more time.
Julia steps forward and gives me a sad smile. “Yes, and now would be a great time to make sure she knows that you feel the same way.”
“How do you know that?”
She smirks and rolls her eyes. “Are you kidding me? Everyone here has gone through the exact same thing. We know what love looks like.”
“What if I’m too late?”
The thought lodges in my chest like a stone. I know how much Walker’s pushes her to change careers, to leave all this behind and take the safer path. He’s never seen what I see in her—the fire, the passion. What if this time, she listens to him and he convinces her that she’s better off leaving the city?"
“I need to go to her,” I say, and hurry toward the front door.
Brent’s hand shoots out, and he shakes his head. “No, man, you’ve been drinking. Sleep it off. She’ll still be here in the morning.”
“And if she’s not?”
“Then we’ll take you wherever she goes, but you’re not talking to her right now.”
Everything inside of me is telling me to shake away from Brent’s touch and rush out the door, but I know he’s right. I’ve made her upset today by walking out on her, even though she was trying to tell me the truth, and I’m only going to make it worse if I show up drunk.
“Yeah, yeah,” I mumble before making my way down a long hallway. “You guys head home. I’ll be fine here.”
“Are you sure, man?” Evan asks, concern evident in his gaze as he looks at me. “I don’t mind staying here for the night. I’m sure Mia can handle the kids until morning.”
“No problem,” she pipes up.
I shake my head. “I’m good, really.”
Everyone stares at me for a few more moments, then they nod and turn toward the front door. Mia is the only one who stays behind and she waits until they leave before taking a few steps toward me with a small smile.
“She really loves you, Donny. None of us realized someone was listening to our conversation, or thought that they would make money off the story. It was an accident, that’s all.”
“I love her, too,” I whisper and shake my head. “Everything would be fine if I had just let her talk instead of rushing out.”
With my past, I didn’t want to let her get the chance to hurt me. I didn’t want her words to pierce me in such a visceral way that I simply walked out before they could make their mark. Mia nods and smiles. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Just talk to her. We’ve gotten too attached to just let her walk away from us now — she’s family.”
Family.
My mom had a lot to say about the situation and was hurt that I would go to such lengths to make her happy. She told me that she’s only ever wanted the best for me and apologized about being too devoted to my love life. I’ve still got a lot of making up to do for lying to her, but she’s more understanding about why I did it.
I also managed to tell her how I really feel about Carmen and that even though it started as a fake engagement, it’s turned into much more than that. Mia is talking of family and she’s right, but I want to create a different kind of family and to create it with Carmen.
“I’m, uh, gonna head to bed,” I say. “I’ve got a lot of apologizing to do in the morning, it seems.”
She gives me a quick hug, then hurries out the front door and lets it fall shut softly behind her. I let out a rough breath and run a hand through my hair while looking out at the cityscape in front of me. This view is nothing without the woman I love standing next to me, and there’s only one way I can make sure to get her back.
I need to get her back.
***
I’m in the middle of pouring a bowl of cereal as I stare at the TV in front of me, Kelly’s Morning Show flashing across the screen. Kelly is on top of everything when it comes to celebrities and I don’t doubt that she’ll be doing a segment on the truth of my fake engagement. I should probably turn it off, but something keeps me from doing that.
Kelly waves to the camera, a big smile on her face, and the screen turns to black before a plethora of commercials starts up. I take that moment to pick my phone up and find Carmen’s name in my phone. I texted her once this morning, asking if I could come by so we could talk, but she still hasn’t responded to me.
What if she’s already left the city and gotten away from me?
I shake my head at the negative thought and frown. No, I’ve got to think on the positive side of things. There’s a chance she chose to sleep in today, especially after yesterday’s events, and she’ll respond in a couple hours.
I’m making a big deal out of nothing.
The commercials come to stop and Kelly’s smile pops back onto the screen.
“I told you that we had a special guest waiting for us when we got back, and I’m very excited to announce that Carmen Blackwood is here with us!”
The sound of Carmen’s name has me dropping my spoon back into the bowl and I blink a few times at the screen. One of the camera’s zooms out, away from Kelly’s face, and sitting across from her is none other than the woman I’ve fallen in love with. She’s smiling, but there’s a nervous quality to it that makes my heart race.
What is she doing?
She’s got a pencil skirt that shows the right amount of soft, creamy skin, and a blouse that ties around her neck. Instead of her hair being pulled up, she has her auburn locks spiraled around her face and I can’t help but be mesmerized by her.
“Kelly, hi, I’m so glad that you could get me in at the last minute,” Carmen says, crossing one leg over the other.
“After everything I’ve been seeing, how could I possibly pass it up?” Kelly says with a chuckle, the crowd surrounding them following suit. “You wanted to come on and tell your side of the story. I’m interested to know what that is.”
Carmen smiles, then darts her attention toward the camera. For a moment it’s as if she’s looking right at me and I pause in the middle of the living room. Thank goodness the guys aren’t here right now, or else they’d see how far gone I am even when she’s not standing in front of me.
“That’s right,” Carmen says, still not taking her gaze away from the camera. “The article wasn’t wrong. Everything about our engagement was a sham, a way to get our families off our backs.”
The crowd gasps, but Kelly sits straighter and leans forward with a sparkle in her eyes. “And what about now?”
My heart stutters in my chest as I wait for Carmen to answer.
Carmen’s voice wavers, but she presses on, refusing to let the doubt seep in. Her heart pounds in her chest, the weight of the moment pressing down on her shoulders, but for the first time, she’s not afraid to speak her truth.
“Well, it turns out that this fake engagement was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. I found a man I’ve come to love in the most unexpected way.”
Kelly claps excitedly and places a hand over her heart when she’s done. “I knew it, so tell us about your relationship. Are there wedding bells in the future?”
“I’m hoping that there might be. Right now, though, we are going to take it one step at a time and do things the right way this time around. I love him, and how that ended up happening shouldn’t matter.”
“Well,” Kelly says, looking toward the camera, “you heard it here yourself, folks. Raising Havoc’s drummer is no longer on the market, despite what recent news might want you to think!”
Before they can say anything else, I quickly reach down and turn the TV off before hurrying through the house to change out of my pajamas. My hands are shaking as I do so, but I can’t stop thinking about what Carmen just did.
She went on live television and told the world how she feels about me.
I need to get to her — right now.
When I walk out of my door and head toward my private garage, there’s already a car waiting for me as I step through the glass door. I nod to the driver, directing him on where to go, and I’m only hoping I’m not too late. If I know Kelly, she’s going to keep Carmen there for a good ten minutes when the show goes to commercial and that should give me plenty of time to meet Carmen outside the studio.
Traffic is chaotic this morning, but I don’t pay it any mind as I stare ahead at the road. I need to wrap Carmen in my arms, tell her how sorry I am for walking out last night, and tell her that something like that will never happen again.
I’m going to lay all my cards out on the table.