14. Leo
Chapter Fourteen
LEO
That afternoon, I went to the station to work out. My mind was still reeling from our therapy appointment. The pain in Casey’s voice had felt like knives dragging across my heart. I’d wanted to do more than hold her hand. I’d wanted to wrap her close and comfort her and protect her from all that pain.
I was wrestling with anger toward the man who had caused her so much pain. While the details were so different, I understood what it was like to lose someone that way and the muddied sadness that came with it.
The news was filled with stories about the scourge of society that opiates had become. Many people understood it on a deeply personal level.
I was leaving the workout room and encountered Graham walking down the hall just as the alert sounded in the station. “Headed out to a training exercise. It’s an actual fire, but it’s small. Ready to roll?” he asked.
“Of course.” I hustled into the locker room and grabbed my gear. “What’s the deal?” I asked as I fell into step beside Hudson and Parker a few minutes later.
“It’s an old abandoned hunting cabin on the outskirts of town. Not sure how, but it caught fire. It’s in an area with a lot of dead spruce from the spruce bark beetle kill. The town crew is in Anchorage today,” Hudson explained.
I texted my parents on the way, letting them know I might be later than usual tonight. Hunting cabins were scattered all over Alaska. Many of them were actively in use, but there were also plenty that had been abandoned. This one might as well have been a pile of sticks. Unfortunately, someone left behind two rusted tanks of propane. Whatever set off the explosion had created a fast-burning fire.
We hustled that afternoon, setting a perimeter and getting most of the fire under control within a few hours. Part of the crew was going to stay back to monitor the fire for the night. We had to chase off a brown bear coming out of hibernation on the way out.
Bears were hungry during Alaska's spring. “Damn, he’s hungry,” I said to Parker, eyeing the bear’s lean form.
“He’s got his eye on them.” Parker gestured toward a moose and a pair of calves in the distance.
“Aw, hell,” I muttered.
“Looks like mama moose is headed straight toward town, which is probably for the best,” Parker replied.
Aside from the fact that moose were plentiful in Alaska, the females often stayed close to towns when they had calves to protect. Bears were less likely to go where there were more people so they were safer. We guided the bear a few miles away from the fire and from town with two of our trucks.
When I got home a few hours later, I stopped at my parents’ house first. My parents had a bedroom here for Dora. My dad liked to watch the news while Dora would curl up in the recliner with my parents’ elderly mutt.
My dad waggled his brows as he looked up from his chair. “The news usually puts her to sleep.”
I chuckled. Every so often, like tonight, I would look at Dora and marvel at how much she lived in my heart. I couldn’t imagine life without her now. Which was remarkable, considering I hadn’t even known she existed less than a year ago.
“Think she’ll wake up when I bring her home?” I asked.
My dad shrugged. “Doubt it. She’s a pretty sound sleeper.”
My parents’ dog thumped his little tail as he looked up at me. I bundled Dora into my arms. She didn’t even blink. A few minutes later, I walked the short distance to my house through the trees. She woke up briefly when I tucked her in bed. We had a routine on the nights that my parents kept her past dinner when I was working. They got her changed into her pajamas and made sure she brushed her teeth. That made it easier for her. There was always the option to let her sleep at their place, but I preferred not to do that unless it was too late. I didn’t know if that made sense, but I was trying to keep her routine in place as much as I could.
I ate some leftover pizza and plunked down on the couch after a shower. As soon as I had time to think, Casey slipped into my thoughts. Between the way it felt to be with her and learning more about her life, I didn’t even know what to do with the way I felt.
Beyond replaying our kisses and the taste of her on my fingers time and again, I couldn’t forget those few seconds where our eyes had locked at the end of our therapy appointment. It felt as if something flourished in the air between us, a sense of deep connection and intimacy.
I eyed my phone where it sat innocuously on the coffee table. I leaned forward and snagged it, quickly typing out a text to Casey.
Me: I’m not sure how to say this, but I appreciate you talking about what you’ve been going through.
After I hit send, I began to wonder if I should’ve said anything. Maybe it was strange because of how we started therapy, but it felt right that we were using our appointments to process what we were going through. It felt as if we were taking one step after another toward each other. What was happening between us also felt more real than any relationship I’d had before. It wasn’t that Diane hadn’t been important to me, but we’d been young and the way it ended had soured me on any nostalgia around it.
Before I could overthink too long, my phone vibrated, and I instantly glanced down.
Casey: I wasn’t really planning to say all that today, but it just came out. You’ve been open about what you’re dealing with, so I guess it’s good we both are. Maybe it’s awkward.
Without thinking, I tapped the screen to call her.
Casey answered immediately. “Hi!” Her voice was a little breathless.
“You don’t need to worry about it being awkward,” I said bluntly.
I could hear the shudder in her breath. The sound pierced my heart. I didn’t know how the hell this had happened, but Casey had slipped into my heart so swiftly it was shocking.
“I appreciate that,” she finally said. Another breath filtered through the line. “This is just all so unexpected. I’ll be honest because I’ve already admitted it, I totally thought you were cute when you were coming to the café. When you were the unlucky guy in the waiting room and I dragged you into a therapy appointment, I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t know—” Her words sputtered abruptly. “The whole thing is ridiculous. I should’ve realized there’s no way any therapist with any ethics would tell my parents whether or not I had a fiancé. I need to get over myself and tell my parents the truth and?—”
When she paused to breathe, I cut in. “Take a breath, Casey. If we could all explain the things we did all the time and everything made sense, life would be pretty boring. I’m not a therapist, but I have a feeling we might end up telling Delaney the whole story. I think she might say that the situation around your sister’s death is complicated and traumatic enough for you that it’s hard for you to think clearly about it. It might seem logical that you needed someone to pretend like they were your fiancé just because of how much you’re trying to hold back. Does that make sense?”
Casey was quiet for a few beats before her soft laugh filtered through the line. My heart twisted with piercing sweetness. I just wanted to hold her and protect her, to be her shelter when she needed it and the sunshine when she could use some brightness.
“It does,” she said. “Every time I think about Callie, I feel a little panicked because I know I need to tell my parents what happened.”
“I’ll keep being your fake fiancé, but I hope I’m your real boyfriend.”
She giggled. “I hope you are too, and I’ll be your fake fiancée. I didn’t expect this, but I actually like our therapy sessions.”
“I actually like them too. I’m glad I was the random guy in the waiting room that day.”
When she giggled again, heat sizzled through me. “I can’t wait to see you Friday.”
She let out a startled sound. “I can’t wait to see you either.”
I was just about to find a way to end this call when she added, “I hope I see you at the café before that. You need your coffee and Luna is making new donuts every day. She’s expanding the variety.”
“Casey, I don’t really need coffee or donuts. Those are just an excuse for me to stop in and see you.”