15. Gracie
Trevor leans towards me till I feel his weight on my shoulders, and we’re both quiet as I lead him to his room. Then I help him sit on the bed first before letting out a deep breath.
“Thanks,” he whispers, grabbing my wrist just as I turn away from him. He stirs me to face him again, and I lick my lips before meeting his gaze. “Thanks for everything, Gracie,” he murmurs. “I mean it.”
There’s nothing I can say to him at that moment as our gazes linger. My heart thuds so fast, my lungs can’t keep up, and the swoony feeling that clouds my judgment each time he’s near worsens.
“I’ll make us something to eat,” I say through the lump in my throat, then slowly peel my hand out of his.
Minutes later, while I’m in the kitchen, Trevor limps in slowly and pulls out a chair for himself.
“You’re supposed to keep your weight off that leg,” I scold in a light tone, shaking my head when he flashes me a cheeky grin. “Don’t play cute with me. You should obey your doctor’s instructions so you get better.”
He leans on the table, propping his head in his hands, and focuses on me again. I recall seeing the cute doctor blushing at him when I entered the hospital room earlier. Even a blind man would have noticed that she was flirting with him.
I rolled my eyes, and Trevor caught my expression.
“What is it?” he asks.
“Nothing,” I lie through gritted teeth, then nibble on my lower lip a little as the sting of jealousy bites through me. I don’t care about him flirting with her, I tell myself, even as the heated flush burns a path right through my chest.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing…You’re all flushed, and you’re glaring at that pasta like it pissed you off or something.”
My gaze snaps to him, and the flurry of words burst out of me before I can think. “Were you flirting with that doctor earlier at the hospital?”
Trevor’s jaw drops for a moment, but he recovers quickly before tossing his reply my way. “Why? Were you jealous?”
My scoff is loud enough to silence him, and I deny furiously, ignoring the tingle racing through my nerves. “Why would I be jealous? It’s none of my concern if you were flirting with her. I mean…It’s not like we’re a couple or anything, so why would I be jealous?”
I avoid his gaze even though I know there’s a cheeky smile on his lips. Sighing, I turn away to hide my embarrassing flush, then focus on making my pasta in silence.
Trevor doesn’t speak again, and the silence edges on between us till dinner is ready. We start talking about his injury and how it affects the coming NBA finals while eating, and Trevor gets really passionate as he talks me through the game.
“It’s crazy hearing the crowd comment and cheer each time we score a point. I live for that rush, you know.”
We share a laugh, and he lifts his head to look at me.
“You know what I would miss the most when all of this ends?”
“What’s that?” A smirk spreads on my lips, and I tilt my head to one side. “My charm? My laugh? My very amazing personality?”
He bursts into a ramble of laughter that makes his eyes twinkle, and his brows shoot up to his hairline before he cocks his head to one side. “Your company,” he finally says, and his words make me suck in a deep breath. “I’ll miss having you around the most. It doesn’t matter if we’re just sitting quietly, or if you’re scolding me, or being cute. I’ll just miss everything about you, Gracie. That’s the truth. Sometimes, I wish this wasn’t a farce. I wish you could stay here with me like this always.”
His words make me forget why things are different. “What if we could change that?” I whisper without thinking, and the remaining flicker of a smile that sat on his lips earlier disappears.
“Gracie..” he mumbles in a shaky voice. A downcast shadow crosses his features before he looks away from me, and then shakes his head softly.
“I know what you think, Trevor,” I continue, heart in my throat as I hope I can reach out to him. I shove my seat back and walk over to his side of the table to touch his chin. “But we have a chance here, and I think we’ll be good together. It’ll be just you and me. Nothing else would matter but the two of us. We’ll take each day as it comes, and who knows, it might just be the best thing that’s happened to you in a while.”
“And what happens if it doesn’t work out? What happens when either of us wants out? I could never hurt you like that, Gracie, and I don’t think I’d survive if you hurt me like that.”
“But we don’t know that we will,” I insist with a shaky smile. Tears shimmer in my eyes and blur my vision. It matches the reflection in his, but he still looks away from me before licking his lips.
“You’re too good for me,” he concludes before pushing back in his seat. “With everything that has been happening in the media, you could get dragged a lot, and things could get messy and I .. I can’t put you through anymore of that.”
Trevor leaves the kitchen after that, and this time, the ache in my chest threatens to swallow me whole. Right then, I realize there’s no hope.
Trevor will never change his mind or give us a chance and shutting out my feelings for him is the best option. For both our sakes.
***
I spent most of the next day focused on my book. The fourteenth chapter should have been the turning point between the lovers in my story, but somehow, I’m stuck.
What happens next? Does love win and lead, or do these two need more time to figure out what they want?
I didn’t base my characters on Trevor and me, but they are starting to feel a lot like us, and I don’t know what to do.
Every part of me wants them to give love a chance, but I’m torn. The voice in my head insists that taking a step back is the best thing to do. If Trevor’s never going to want me, then I should let him go, right?
I’m still lost in thought when my phone starts buzzing beside me. A smile wedges on my lips when I realize it’s a video call from Natalie, and she grins widely once I take it.
“Hey, you,” she greets, then shows me around her surroundings. “You’re missing out on a lot, Gracie. The bookstore is swamped with customers every day of the week. Someone posted an article that Trevor Hawkin’s wife works here, and we have many basketball fans trooping in all hoping they can meet you.”
“That’s crazy,” I comment and join in her laugh.
We quiet down after some time, then she asks. “How you holding up? I see you two on television and I can’t help but think, damn, they look perfect together. You two aren’t a thing yet, are you? It feels like he has eyes only for you.”
My chuckle this time is quiet, and I recall Trevor’s eyes on me each time we’re out in public or giving an interview. Why does his eyes say one thing and his lips say another?
I sense he wants me from the way he looks at me, but he’s never going to let himself feel.
“We aren’t,” I admit to Natalie, and her smile dwindles a little.
“And that’s a good thing, remember?” she reminds me. “Trevor’s not the kind of guy you want to fall for, right?”
I know she’s going to say he’s like candy next, and that all I need is a taste of him, but to me, he’s not. Somewhere amongst the glitz and glamor of Trevor’s superstar life, there’s still the boy I knew.
There’s still a kid who’s hurt, too. One who needs love to heal.I desperately wish he would let me in, but knowing Trevor, I also know it might never happen.
“Yeah well,” I say to my friend. “It’s a good thing.”
“Good,” she says with a smile, then grins again. “Because I’d hate to see you get hurt, Gracie.”
After ending the call with Natalie moments later, I decide to stroll around the house and find Trevor as I haven’t seen him all day.
The house is quiet until I approach the door to his home gym, and overhear the whisper of voices coming from inside that makes me freeze in my tracks at the doorway.