Chapter 28 #2
Logan’s silent for a single, assessing beat, before he whispers, “If you don’t think there’s another reason to keep it going, then…yeah.”
The muscle in my jaw tics, and I shake my head. If he can’t think of a reason on his own, then I’m not going to give him one.
Logan clears his throat and rises off the bed, the movement catching my attention from where it had fallen to the floor.
“Right. Well, this works out, I guess. Whatever happens with the draft will be on your own merit.” A tight smile rests on his lips when he adds, “You didn’t exactly want to be attached to the Reed name anyway.”
Tears prick at the edges of my vision, but I blink them away and force myself to nod.
A sharp pain hits me in the back of the throat, the lie threatening to choke me despite words never leaving my mouth. Because I know the truth, and until ten minutes ago, I would’ve happily taken that name as my own. Or given him mine. It wouldn’t matter, as long as I had him.
But I don’t want someone who doesn’t want me back. I can’t love someone who will never feel the same. It may be my fault for falling for a lie—for trusting that I’d be anything more than what I’ve always been—but I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.
So I won’t stick around and open myself to more hurt just to have him a little longer.
“Well, I just realized I forgot something at the arena, so…”
“Uh, yeah. Okay. I’ll just…let you go.”
I wish you wouldn’t.
I don’t even wait for him to leave my room, just rise off the bed and grab my duffle bag before rushing down the stairs.
Lexi, of all people, is in the kitchen when I hit the main floor, and she smiles when she spots me.
“Cam! Hey, how was—”
“Sorry, Lexi. I gotta run,” I utter, my voice cracking slightly as I head for the door.
I don’t have it in me to be angry with her. After all, she’s probably as oblivious to Logan’s feelings as I was. And even if she isn’t, it’s not her fault her heartbreak wound up being the catalyst for my own.
I’m back in my car only a few minutes later, peeling out of the driveway and heading…I don’t know where. Anywhere but there. Any place but ones tainted with memories of him and us and all the lies I started to believe.
Except I don’t even make it down the street before I’m gasping for air, hurt and panic setting in, forcing me to guide the car to the curb.
The second I shift into park, my head falls back against the headrest and the first tears finally spill free.
They fall, one after another, as I whisper the same things to myself that I told Lexi barely more than a week ago.
It’s gonna be all right.
Just breathe.
You’re okay.
But I don’t believe them. Right now, I don’t have it in me.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, momentarily breaking my mind out of the spiral it’s swirling in, and when I pull it free, I see it’s a text notification. I don’t know if I’m more relieved or more heartbroken that it’s Holden in our group chat, and not Logan.
Holden: @Camden where are you? Get in here!
Opening the thread, I realize there’s an active FaceTime happening—a notification I must’ve missed when Logan and I were talking. Despite my better judgment, I wipe my face and click on the active call, the faces of my friends appearing on my screen a moment later.
And I mean all of them.
Madden and Theo are in one frame, in a hotel room from the looks of it. Phoenix and Holden are on their couch in another, and Quinton and Oakley are…well, I can’t exactly say. It looks like they’re outside.
“There you fucking are! Took you long enough,” Holden gripes within a couple seconds of spotting me.
“Sorry, I was dealing with something,” I reply weakly. “What’d I miss that was so important?”
Everyone is silent as Oakley looks at Quinton, a little smile curving his mouth, before he says, “So… We’re engaged.”
I almost drop my damn phone at the news, a new wave of agony ripping me wide open, and it takes every goddamn piece of my willpower not to burst into tears when Quinton lifts his left hand to reveal a silver band on his ring finger.
Yet, somehow, I find the strength to plaster on a smile instead.
“No shit. Congrats, guys,” I say, possibly forcing a bit too much cheer into my voice. “I’m really happy for you both.”
“I’m really happy for you both?” Theo echoes with a scoff. “That’s the comment we’re getting?”
I blink a couple times. “As opposed to…?”
“I have no idea, but usually it’s something fucking wild coming outta your mouth at times like this. I mean, who are you and what have you done with my favorite dunce?”
My eyes sink closed, and I do my best to let the comment roll off my back. But I’m skinned raw and bleeding right now, and some sort of choked sound slips past my lips.
Holden frowns, cocking his head. “You good, man? You look like you’re gonna be sick.”
Peeling my lids open again, I wave him off with another tight smile. “Oh yeah, good as gold. Just a bit tired from the weekend.”
And I think I’ve slipped the mask on just in time as Quinton dives into the story about how Oakley popped the question. But I notice Oakley is deathly silent, studying me through the screen instead of gazing lovingly at his fiancé.
“Cam, what’s wrong?”
Despite holding it together this long, something about that stupid fucking question puts a deep crack in the composure I’ve managed to maintain. But then it shatters in an instant, and all the crap I’ve been feeling—not just about Logan, but about everything—comes spilling out.
The dyslexia, the joking chipping at my self-esteem.
The fake relationship, the real feelings.
I dump all of it on them in a massive pile at their feet, despite knowing this is the worst possible time. And I know that, but once it starts, I can’t seem to make it stop until I’m left gasping for air after the last few words leave my lips.
For a second, they’re all silent. Every single one of them. And I almost laugh at the irony of this being the quietest moment in FaceTime history before Holden speaks.
“It’s a seven-hour drive, but with Nix behind the wheel, we can probably make it in less.”
“Nah, Hold. We’re already in Milwaukee for Opening Day.” Theo glances at his boyfriend before saying, “We’re less than two hours away, babe. I can just get a rental car and meet you back in Denver—”
“Fuck a rental, I’ll pay for the Uber,” Madden murmurs, only to shoot me a sympathetic look before disappearing from view.
I shake my head, my chest feeling so full and like it’s caving in all at once. Because I’ve already ruined this night for two of my friends, I don’t need the rest of them to come rescue me from a disaster of my own making.
I wipe away the tears that’ve started to dry. “No, it’s okay. I don’t need—”
“With all due respect to what you’re going through, just shut the fuck up, Camden,” says Holden.
“But I’ll be fine, guys. I just—”
“Did I not just tell you to shut the fuck up?” he gripes before glaring at Theo. “Tell Madden to hurry before I’m forced to strangle him through the phone.”
“But, I—”
Holden looks like he’s ready to put me six feet under from just the two words, but it’s Oakley who actually speaks this time.
“We’ve all been there, man. Every one of us. And when shit hit the fan, everyone was there, at the house.” Worry draws his brows together before he murmurs, “You deserve the same thing. Or as close as we can give you right now.”
“I already booked you a hotel, Cam,” interrupts Phoenix, who is staring at his own phone. “I’m texting you and Theo the address.”
“Can you make it there safely, or should I call you an Uber too?” Madden asks from somewhere off the screen.
Quinton frowns and motions toward the screen. “He’s in his car already.”
“Yeah, but he probably shouldn’t be driving if he’s this upset,” Phoenix chimes in.
All these questions and plans start coming at me left and right—Ubers and addresses and texts—and I open my mouth to protest once more, but Holden is already cutting me off before I can make a sound.
“Goddamnit, Camden! Just let us be there for you the way you were for us!”
I shake my head again. “You didn’t need me for anything more than comedic relief. I mean, who actually calls on the dunce in a crisis?”
Everyone goes dead silent apart from Theo, who curses under his breath. Even through the screen, I can feel palpable amounts of regret and guilt coming from his sage green eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell any of us you felt that way?” he asks softly. “If we…if I…would’ve known the jokes hurt your feelings…”
All I can do is shrug, utterly helpless, before my words come out all grated and raspy.
“I guess I just felt like I had to play my role, you know? And I don’t know, maybe part of me was worried that if I wasn’t okay with that, then you guys wouldn’t know how to be around me anymore.”
“Cam, we want you around because we care about you. Not because we like laughing at you,” Oakley, whose brows are drawn together tightly, replies.
“Yeah, man. That part is just a bonus,” Phoenix adds, a little smile forming. “And I get to say that because I chose to love you thanks to this idiot bringing me into the fold.”
He wraps an arm around Holden on the last couple words, who just shoots a dirty look back at him.
“Hey, didn’t we just establish name calling is uncalled for?”
“It’s really okay, guys. I don’t want you to tip-toe around me or whatever,” I insist after clearing my throat, but Oakley isn’t having any of it.
“And we won’t be. But that doesn’t mean we also can’t cool it a bit, all right?”
Everyone nods in agreement, Theo included, whose features are still drawn down in guilt when his gaze flashes off the screen, likely to Madden.
“My ride is here,” he utters a second later, attention flicking back to me. “I’ll see you at the hotel in a couple hours, all right?”
I nod, not trusting my voice at the moment, and with that, his frame on the screen goes blank before disappearing entirely.
There’s a somberness after Theo disappears, leaving only Holden’s and Oakley’s frames on the screen, and a sense of guilt slices through me like a laser.
“I’m sorry, guys. I wasn’t gonna say anything, but Oakley asked what’s wrong and it just…” I gesture vaguely, a watery laugh slipping out.
“The shoe dropped,” Quinton whispers with a sad smile.
Oakley’s gaze flicks to Quinton before returning to me. “How’d you find this out, exactly? About Lexi and the real reason for the fake relationship?”
I shake my head before clearing my throat. “I overheard him talking to our other roommate, Bailey. He asked what Logan was going to do now that she’s available, and he said he didn’t know.”
“Fucking Christ,” Oakley mutters under his breath. “Sometimes he makes it really hard to not wanna kill him.”
“Please, don’t say anything to him, Oak,” I plead, my voice cracking. “I know he’s your brother, and I don’t want you in the middle of this more than you already are. Just…let me walk away from this with some dignity.”
Oakley’s lips roll inward before he nods in agreement, although I can tell it’s reluctant from the way he goes rather silent after that.
They all go relatively silent, in fact, only making the occasional comment or conversation, but they still stay on the phone with me, making sure I’m not alone as I drive to the hotel address Phoenix texted earlier.
They don’t hang up once I’m checked in and up in the room either, despite me collapsing in the bed, completely drained mentally and emotionally.
It’s only when Theo texts the group chat, saying he’s arrived and needs the room number, that they’re finally okay with letting me go.
There’s a knock on the door a couple minutes later, and I somehow find the strength to haul myself off the bed to answer it.
I was holding it together, for the most part, after the initial breakdown. There were a couple moments they even pulled laughter out of me, however half-hearted it may have been. But the second I pull open the door and see Theo in the flesh, overnight bag in hand, I lose it all over again.
“Shit.”
He rushes through the door, drops his bag, and wraps his arms around me in the tightest embrace I’ve ever had. As if it’ll be enough to hold together all my shattered pieces while I break down in his arms.
“I fell for real. God, I’m so fucking stupid.”
The words leave me in a nearly hysterical gasp, and my body shakes as I bury my face in his shoulder. But he just squeezes me harder against his chest.
“No, Cam,” he whispers, his voice cracking. “No, you’re not.”