Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
NAT
I’d lied. To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about it before the words had flown out of my mouth and I’d told Asher that the shoot had been moved up. The job dates hadn’t changed, but I hadn’t been able to stay there for another second.
Because I didn’t want things to be any harder on June, I’d left a note for her, saying I had to fly off for work and that I’d see her soon. I’d taken the easy way out. I knew that. But saying goodbye to Asher, even if he thought it was only for a little while, tore me up inside. And I couldn’t bear the thought of doing the same with those kids.
Because of that, I’d wiped my eyes, pasted on a smile, told him I’d see him soon, and then I’d fled. The only trouble was, not only did I not have an early flight to catch, but I also didn’t have anywhere to go. I couldn’t exactly go to my parents’ house, what since they thought Asher and I were happy newlyweds. Will and Finn were on their honeymoon, and Mac and Hudson were all the way out at their home on Havenbrook Lake.
So that was how I found myself knocking on Rory’s front door, bags in tow. The last person I wanted to see me crying like an idiot was my eldest sister, but I didn’t have much of a choice because, apparently, these tears weren’t stopping anytime soon, even if I didn’t know why. Me leaving had always been the plan. It was what I wanted. Not to be trapped by a person or place, so I sure had narrowly escaped that one.
“Who is it?” Rory called from inside.
“Just let me in,” I said, my voice barely a croak.
“Nat? What’re you—” Rory opened the door and froze as she appraised me, her eyes widening as she took it all in. Everything from my blotchy face to my tear-streaked cheeks to my red-rimmed eyes and finally to the bags at my feet. “What’s wrong? I thought y’all were gonna talk?”
“We did,” I said, forcing my way into the house. “Everything’s fine. Great, even! These are happy tears, obviously. Because now I can go to bed at four a.m. and sleep till the next afternoon if I want to. I don’t have to worry about nap schedules and playdates and makin’ sure there are enough granola bars to last June more than three days. I can eat chips for dinner and nothing but a bottle of wine for breakfast. I won’t constantly smell like baby powder or have to do laundry every single day just to keep up. And I can finally have regular pancakes again instead of agonizing over creatin’ animal-shaped ones, and it’s all fine .”
“Okay,” Rory said slowly. “You’re clearly not fine. You’re on the verge of a hysterical breakdown.”
“I’m fine ,” I reiterated, wiping my cheek across my shoulder to dry my tears.
“Is that Nat?” Nash strolled toward us from the hallway and skidded to a stop when he registered my face. “What the hell’s the matter?”
“Well,” Rory said, “your best friend is fine . Everything’s fine. She hasn’t lost her mind, and she doesn’t look like her soul’s been ripped from her body. Why would you suggest such a thing?”
“Okay…” Nash said, dragging the word out as he took my bags from me.
“Had to be Rory, didn’t it?” I pinned Nash with a glare.
“Without a doubt,” he said without pause.
Rory rolled her eyes. “I can see you’re bein’ just as stubborn as usual, and I’m too exhausted to try to drag it out of you tonight. I’ve gotta be at the Wheelers’ at six a.m. tomorrow, so I’m goin’ to bed. The girls are at their daddy’s, so you can stay in Ava’s room.”
“I’ll be there in a minute, princess,” Nash murmured and swatted Rory’s ass as she walked by.
I had never had playful, intimate touches like those with anyone. Not until Asher, anyway. I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering when he’d hauled me over his shoulder and slapped my ass just like that. Had given me adventure right there in Havenbrook because he’d known I needed it.
I opened my eyes to find Nash staring at me, his arms crossed and face blank.
He waited until a door snicked shut down the hallway, and then he raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think you fooled anyone with this, do you?”
“Fooled anyone with what?”
“I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen you cry, Nat. In my whole life. So you wanna try that again?”
“Like I was tellin’ Rory, these are happy tears. Obviously. I’m thrilled with this! So thrilled, in fact, I thought I’d head out to Ireland a little early for my shoot comin’ up.”
“Right,” he said, nodding, his eyes scrutinizing in a way that made me shift uncomfortably on my feet. “You might be able to get this past Rory because y’all have only started gettin’ closer, but you’re not gettin’ it by me. I know you, and I know him. And you’re both idiots.”
“And you’re the idiot who’s friends with us both.”
“You can deflect all you want, but I’ve got you two figured out.”
“Oh, please, enlighten me.”
“You love denying, and he’d find a way to give you the moon if that’s what you said you wanted. So, I’ve just gotta know, how far are you gonna ride out this lie you’re both tellin’ yourselves?”
The only lie I’d told myself had been that I could actually do this. That there’d been a place for me here in this town with Asher. Thinking that somehow I could go from being the girl who could never commit to anyone or anything, to being the one lucky enough to have that love reciprocated when I finally found the one.
“Look, dude, I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about. But you mind drivin’ me to the airport in the mornin’?”
He stared me down, but I refused to blink. Refused to even breathe, for fear that one sudden move would send my tears falling all over again. “For the flight that I bet hasn’t been changed at all?”
“You don’t know me.”
“Nattie, the only person who knows you better is the one you’re runnin’ from.”
I threw up my hands in exasperation. “He said I was free to go, Nash, so that’s what I’m doin’. Now, can you drive me to the airport so I can get out of this godforsaken place early or not?”
He pulled me into his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. One would think that it’d feel the same, considering both he and Asher were my best friends and had been nearly the same amount of time. But it didn’t. There was no electricity here, no warmth seeping into my bones where he held me tight. Comfort, yes, but not need. “For the record, I think this is your dumbest idea. And we both know exactly how long that list is.”
“Are you gonna drop me off or not?”
He blew out a long-suffering sigh. “Yeah, Nattie. I got you.”
“Great, thanks.”
Perfect, in fact. While I didn’t love that I was leaving, I couldn’t say I wasn’t looking forward to boarding my first plane in a month. Traveling the world had always been a salve for me. Been how I escaped my life…my history…all the baggage I came with.
Hoped it would be how, too, I escaped this pain.