18. Abigail
EIGHTEEN
ABIGAIL
My heart was still pounding on the solo drive home. I glanced at the rearview mirror, where Rex’s headlights beamed right behind me. I’ve never done anything like that at one of my listings. When it was done, I’d sanitized that bathroom counter like my life depended on it while Rex watched on, vaguely amused.
Maybe I was avoiding his gaze. Maybe I was a big ole coward, because I didn’t want to look him in the face and have him see that something had changed inside me. Rex wasn’t just attractive. He wasn’t just a naughty fling. He was so much more…and that was terrifying.
I bit my lip, squeezing my thighs. I wanted more of him. And tonight, it would just be the two of us. And Winston, of course, but I was hoping my cat would be willing to give us some privacy. Rex and I could be free to play. No faking. I knew Rex Montgomery was a giver, but I never knew he had so much to give .
I hit the gas and practically raced up my driveway. Rex pulled right up next to me, and the roar of his engine halted as fast as mine. I grabbed my things and walked to the door, Rex close behind me. He gave me a teasing smile, and all the fear from a few minutes ago melted away. It was just so easy with him.
I tilted my head. “Did you have a chance to cool off?”
He held my gaze and nodded with an eager grin. “Not even a little.”
Excitement raced along my nerve endings. I was more fired up than I’d been with a guy before. Somehow, he’d been able to tell that what I needed was just to let go. I didn’t want to be strong and independent and in control when I was with a guy…with him . Sometimes I did want to do what I was told and follow the rules.
Well. Certain rules.
With my hands trembling, I stuck my key in the lock and felt Rex’s hand slip above my hip. He pressed himself against me and nuzzled the side of my neck. My stomach tingled, and the sensation radiated up my chest and down to my core. I wanted to melt into him right then and there on my porch. I didn’t care who saw.
But I turned the doorknob and pushed my way inside. Kicking the door shut, Rex caught me around the waist and spun around, pinning me up against my front door. His mouth skated across my jaw and down my neck as he pulled me closer. I panted, rolling my head back on the door. “Take me upstairs,” I whispered.
“I’m the one who makes the rules here, Abigail.”
I laughed, smacking his shoulder. “Fine. Take me right here. Or on the couch. Or wherever you want.”
A yowl made us both look toward the living room. Winston stood in the archway, back curved, tail high.
“Maybe upstairs wasn’t such a bad idea,” Rex conceded. He scooped me up and I yelped, landing with a low oomph on his shoulder.
Rex was strong .
He’d taken two steps in the right direction when a knock on the door made us both freeze.
“Who’s that?” Rex asked.
“Probably just the delivery guy. Ignore it,” I said.
“Delivery guy?”
“I have a standing delivery for Thursday Chinese,” I explained, still hanging over Rex’s shoulder. I bongoed his buns to get him moving again.
Rex set me back down on my feet, frowning at me. “What do you mean by ‘standing delivery?’”
“You know, one that happens every week. Orange chicken and chow mein, piping hot at six-fifteen on my doorstep. I tip the kid really well, and he hasn’t been late in six months. It’s not a complicated concept, but it took me prepaying for three months’ worth of orders for them to get what I wanted. Actually, that reminds me. The payment runs out this week, so I’ll have to call them.”
Rex stared at me like I told him I’d ordered a spaceship off the internet and planned to move to Mars.
And my heart sank.
This was the moment that the bubble burst. The fun was over. He’d see the real me—the messy, couldn’t-cook-for-shit, work-obsessed Abigail who was fine as a fake girlfriend but wouldn’t cut it as the real deal.
Because wasn’t that how things always were? A guy would treat me as a conquest. He’d fight to get in my pants, and then he’d decide it was too much work to stick around.
Bracing myself, I squared my shoulders and looked at Rex?—
And found him grinning, shaking his head from side to side. “I lo—” He stopped and cleared his throat. “You are somethin’ else, Abigail.”
A flush of warmth went through me, and I leaned toward Rex, tilting my head for a kiss.
And there was another knock. This time followed by a familiar voice. “Abigail, it’s me,” Gabe called from the other side.
Rex and I were really frozen this time. “Shit, do you think he saw us?” he whispered and set me down.
And the moment my heel touched the ground, the hot moment was over. I shrugged. “I don’t know. Should I just ignore him?”
“No, we can’t do that. Our cars are in the driveway.”
I stamped my foot. “Crap.” Why did my brother have the worst timing these days? Couldn’t he just back off for a bit and let me hook up with his best friend? I knew the answer to that was a big fat NO. So I took a breath and smoothed out my skirt.
Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe we needed to cool it a little— I needed to cool it a little. Just a minute ago, my heart had given a leap like Rex was the man I’d been waiting for. But at the end of the day, Rex was Gabe’s best friend; he’d never choose me over Gabe, if that’s what it came down to. I wasn’t worth that kind of risk. It sucked to admit, but I knew it was true.
“Do I look okay?” I asked.
Rex nodded. “What about me?”
I gave him a once-over and wiped a touch of my lipstick from his mouth. “You’re good now.”
Gabe banged at the door again, and I finally opened it. I gave him my best smile, which was the one I’d used for particularly difficult clients. “Hey, what’s up?”
Gabe gave me a funny look. “I finished my shift and we had a bunch of leftover wings. Thought I’d drop them off for all of you.” He held up a takeout bag. Sure, he would bring me leftovers from work from time to time. But I got the distinct feeling this wasn’t one of those times, especially with the way he was giving Rex the once-over as well.
I glanced over my shoulder to check for any more stray lipstick marks. Not finding any, I turned back to my brother and took the bag. “Aw, thanks, Gabe. That’s so nice.”
“Are you going to invite me in?” he asked.
My smile got wider. “Of course! Come on in.”
As Gabe stepped into the foyer, I heard Rex take a step back behind me. The two bros looked at one another.
“Hey, man, how’s it going?” Rex greeted him.
“Good. What are you two up to?” my brother asked.
“Nothing,” I said, a little above my normal pitch. “I just got home from work.”
“Yeah, me too,” Rex offered, lowering his eyes.
“Well, I brought some dinner. There’s plenty for you and the bride and groom. Speaking of, where is the soon-to-be-wed couple? ”
Rex and I shared a look, but Rex answered honestly. “They took off for DC for the day.”
Gabe nodded. “And they’re staying the night there?”
“That’s the plan,” Rex said. “Assuming Donny managed to book a hotel this time.”
Gabe switched glances between Rex and me, landing on Rex. “So if they’re gone for the night, shouldn’t you be staying at your house this evening too?”
Rex’s brow shot up—either as if the idea never occurred to him or as if he were caught being naughty. Both were true. He rubbed the back of his neck as if considering his response for a beat. If I had anything to say about it, the only place Rex would be staying tonight was in my bed.
“Yeah, that’s… Yeah, that’s the plan,” Rex said, and my eyes widened. Did he want to go back home? Or was he just saying that to appease my overbearing brother?
“So then…” Gabe gestured toward the door, which felt a little harsh.
“Gabe, don’t be rude,” I said. “And Rex, all your stuff is here, you can stay. It’s fine.”
Gabe put on his “I’m serious” smile and placed his hand on Rex’s shoulder. “Rex, I’m sure you could use a night off of this whole charade. You know what I mean?”
We were taking the night off the whole charade…until he showed up. But I recognized that look in my brother’s eyes. It was that stay-away-from-my-sister glare, which, when a drunk at Sullivan’s was getting a bit too handsy, was my best friend. But in the moment, that glare was my worst enemy.
Tension pulled tight between Rex and Gabe. My breaths came faster; Rex was going to stand up to my brother. He was actually going to choose me . And I wasn’t going to be some conquest behind closed doors. I wasn’t going to be Abigail Stone, who finally gave it up and became another notch on the bedpost.
I actually was girlfriend material. For real. Even though I couldn’t cook. Even though I wasn’t a perfect little housewife. Rex was going to tell Gabe that he didn’t need to be the overbearing, overprotective brother, because Rex was going to treat me right.
But then Rex’s stare softened at the edges. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” He glanced at me as if to say he was sorry, then began walking toward the front door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Abigail.”
Disappointment slammed into me. I felt so stupid. Why would Rex go against his best friend? Why would I possibly be worth rocking that boat?
This was all fake. And the parts that weren’t fake were just temporary. A boulder lodged itself in my throat, and, pathetically, I heard myself ask, “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”
He glanced at my brother then looked back at me. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll see you later.” And with that, he closed the door behind him. I turned back to Gabe, wanting to push him off or give him a wedgie or steal his LEGOs. But we weren’t kids anymore. And that was the whole point.
“So, how ’bout them wings?” He grabbed the takeout bag from me and headed for the dining table as if everything was peachy.
“Gabe, why did you make Rex leave?” I went after him.
“Because. He shouldn’t be staying here alone with you when he has no reason to. ”
“We’re not alone. Winston’s here,” I said, gesturing to my cat, who seemed inordinately pleased that Rex’s presence had been replaced with a bag of chicken wings.
Gabe shot me a caustic look. “Why are you so upset? It’s just Rex.”
It wasn’t long ago when that’s exactly how I thought of him. Just Rex. Just my brother’s friend. The fire marshal, volunteer firefighter, Boy Scout good guy who always did the right thing. Boring all the way down to his toes—except he wasn’t. He was bad and rude and naughty and clever and funny. He was surprising and domineering and endlessly thoughtful. And he looked at me like he thought I was the most beautiful person he’d ever laid his eyes on.
But could I tell Gabe that? “I just thought it was kind of rude to treat him like that. We’re all friends here.”
“No, Abigail. He’s my friend. And I’m your brother. And you both told me point blank that this whole thing is for show and there’s nothing going on between you two.”
“I just don’t see what the big deal is,” I argued.
“The big deal is I don’t want to see you get hurt again,” he blurted, and it stopped me in my tracks.
I crossed my arms. “What are you talking about?”
“C’mon, Abigail. I’m not blind. I know you like him.”
Oh. This was so embarrassing I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I really had been that obvious, hadn’t I?
And Rex?
He wouldn’t be using me. He was a good person…except hadn’t I just been thinking about how wrong I’d been about him?
Afraid and embarrassed and not wanting to show it, I narrowed my eyes even more. “So what if I do? Is that the worst thing in the world? Me and Rex?”
“Yes!” he yelled in a way that I knew I’d touched a nerve. “You and Rex have no business being together. If you want to play games for Donny and Blair’s wedding, fine. I don’t like it, but fine. But seriously, Abigail, think about it. You and Rex for real? Never gonna happen.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
Gabe scoffed. “Are you really asking me that?”
“What? You don’t think he’s good enough for me?” The look on his face made me rock back on my heels, and, in a voice that was full of false toughness, I said, “Oh. You don’t think I’m good enough for him .”
Gabe pulled a Styrofoam container out of the bag and put it down on the table. “Rex is a really good guy, Abigail. What he needs is a nice, quiet woman who will treat him right.”
I blinked, and it wasn’t because I wanted to cry. It wasn’t . “Right. And I’m such a fuckup that I couldn’t do that?”
Gabe sighed and turned to face me. “That’s not what I meant. I know you love with your whole heart, Abigail. That’s the best thing about you. You’re all-in, all the time. But…”
“But?”
“But sometimes you’re too much. And sometimes, a man needs a woman who can take care of him.” He waved the container of wings. “And I don’t mean with leftover buffalo wings from the local bar.”
I swallowed hard. I knew Gabe thought I was a screwup, but I hadn’t thought he’d say it quite so plainly. The ghost of my divorce loomed in the corner of the room behind him, echoing his words again and again. I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t docile enough. I couldn’t cook, or clean, or keep house. I wasn’t wife or girlfriend material, and I certainly wasn’t the kind of woman that clean-cut, upstanding, perfect Rex would deign to date.
“You know what? I’m not hungry anymore.” I grabbed the plastic takeout bag and handed it back to him.
This time, he didn’t argue. “Fine.” He walked off a few steps but then turned back. “I’m sorry, Abs. But it’s for the best.” I must’ve been wearing my pain right there on my face, because Gabe added, “There’s a guy out there for you. It just isn’t Rex.”
His steps echoed in the hallway, and then the front door closed—and locked from the outside. He didn’t even trust me to lock up after he’d gone.
That was Gabe. He always knew better than me.
And tonight, as I looked around my empty house, I wondered if he was right.
Winston appeared in the hallway. He glanced at me, frozen by the dining table, and meowed. Then he slunk close enough that I could bend down and pick him up. With his soft, warm weight against my chest, I buried my face in his fur—and I cried.