Chapter 16 - Everett
EVERETT
“Yeah, okay. I fucking get it,” I grunt, spreading my thighs wider, and I slump lower.
Hailee’s glare burns into me from across the desk.
She’s pissed. I get that.
But it doesn’t matter how she feels about this whole situation. I can assure her, I feel worse.
I fucked up last night.
I fucked up big time.
I let that asshole get to me, and I let the entire world see the worst side of me. And just when I should have gone home to lick my wounds, someone else got up in my face.
I don’t know why I’m surprised. It’s a pretty fitting way for my season to end.
I knew being traded to the Vipers was too good to be true.
I have no doubt our GM is already having the paperwork written up to ship me off somewhere else. There is no way they’d want me to stay after this.
I’m an embarrassment.
I just wish there was something I could have done about it. But when I get in that headspace, the only way to get out is to relieve it. And I’ve never found a better way than with my fists.
It’s not right. I know it’s not fucking right. But it’s all I’ve ever known.
“You look like shit,” Hailee points out, just in case I wasn’t aware.
When I saw her waiting at the station to pick me up, I almost volunteered to put myself back in a cell and lock the door.
Why couldn’t Parker have come?
Even my parents would have been preferable.
But Hailee?
I close my eyes and let my head hang back.
“Can I go home yet?”
It’s where I thought she was taking me. But then she took a right instead of a left, and I knew I was in for the ass whooping of my life when the arena appeared before us.
The place is deserted and makes it even more eerie.
Hailee could kill me and dispose of my body, and no one would ever know.
“Rett,” she sighs, dropping her face into her hands.
“Look, I know I fucked up. Trust me, I really do. But…fucking hell, Hailee. You just dropped a massive fucking bomb on me and expected me to go out there and win that thing.”
“No, I expected you to go out there with a fire in your belly to perform to the best of your ability. I don’t give a shit if we win or lose as long as you all do your jobs and work like a team.”
“This is professional sports, not the end of semester exams,” I spit back at her. “No one gives a shit if I try my best. They want results.”
“They don’t want you ejected from the game because you can’t rein in your temper.”
“Uh, hello,” I say, pushing forward and holding my arms out from my sides. “Have you met me?”
“Sadly, a number of times now,” Hailee mutters.
“In case you hadn’t noticed, the fans come to see me lose my shit. It’s what they live for.”
“Until it means their team loses.”
I grit my teeth, doing my best to pretend that this isn’t eating at me.
They lost because of me.
If I could have just kept my head. If I could have stayed on the ice …
“What do you want from me?” I finally ask, deflating back into the chair.
“I want you to sort your shit out. I’m good at my job, Rett, but there is only so much I can do.”
“Are they going to trade me?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. That’s not my department. Maybe. Would they be right to do so after last night’s performance? Also, maybe.”
It might not be her job, but still her words hit their intended target, and they hurt more than I’m willing to admit.
“You’ve got some serious work to do to prove to them that you deserve your spot here.
You’re a great player, Rett. You don’t need me blowing smoke up your ass and telling you that you’re one of the best defensemen in the league.
But when the press narrative is nothing but negative stories about your personal life and reckless behavior, it starts to overshadow that.
“The Vipers have a reputation to uphold. And if you’re not working with the brand then…well…” She gestures a shooing motion with her hand, and I groan.
I don’t want to be traded again. I don’t want to be anywhere but in LA with my little sister and my best friend.
With my…
I slam my eyes shut as more memories from last night hit me full force. I shove them back down. I’m far from ready to deal with them yet.
I take a moment before I quietly mutter, “What do you suggest I do?”
She sighs, steeples her fingers, and presses her lips against them as she studies me closely.
Unease washes through me. She has a plan, and if I know anything about Hailee, then I know I’m not going to like it.
“We need to switch up the narrative. The arrogant, hot-headed playboy image is no longer working for you. You’re getting older, Rett. You need to start acting like it.”
“Sounds incredibly boring.”
“Maybe, but is your job worth it?”
Hockey is everything to me. It always has been.
There is only one answer.
“Yes.”
She smirks as if she’s just won something. “As I thought.”
“So, what are you proposing here exactly?” I ask.
Exhaustion tugs at me, and my eyes burn from lack of sleep. All I want to do is go home and crawl into bed, but something tells me I’m not going to be allowed to do that for some time yet.
“We need to clean you up. No more bad press involving bunnies and fights and all the other bullshit that’s crossed my desk in the last few months.
“By the time the new season starts, you’re going to be a whole new Everett Donnelly who is fully focused on the game and living a calm, under-the-radar life.”
My brows lift.
“And you really expect me to be able to do that?”
“If you want to remain a Viper, I’m not sure you have much choice.”
My teeth grind.
“So no more parties or enjoying myself. You think that’s enough?”
She shakes her head, answering me the exact way I predicted. “We need to show you as a more rounded person. Give you something outside of hockey and hooking up with bunnies.”
“Right…”
My stomach knots when she doesn’t continue straight away.
“Beatrice Walsh,” she starts.
“Who?”
“For fuck’s sake, Rett. Beatrice. Bea. The woman who sat in that chair last night and informed you that she’s pregnant with your baby.”
My head begins spinning at the mention of the exact thing I’m trying not to think about.
“Oh, yeah. Her.”
“Yes. Her.”
“I’m not doing anything with that until I have proof.”
“You’re well within your rights to request a DNA test. But I’m confident you won’t need one.”
“What has she got over you that makes you so sure about this woman?”
“Nothing,” Hailee answers a little too quickly. “I just…woman’s intuition.”
“Well, excuse me for not relying on your intuition with this. But I want medical proof.”
“And you can get it. When you are at your ultrasound appointment next week, you can both take a test. It’ll determine if you are indeed the father of Beatrice’s baby.”
I narrow my eyes at her.
“If you are, it’s the perfect way to show the rest of the world a different side of Everett Donnelly.”
“What does that mean exactly?”
“It means you’re going to embrace this new chapter in your life without argument.”
I stare up at the building I’ve been in a few times over my lifetime, anxiety twisting up my stomach.
The last four days have been some of the darkest of my life, and I doubt this experience is going to make it any better.
Since getting home from my meeting with Hailee the morning after the disaster that was the Stanley Cup Final, I’ve locked myself in my apartment and turned my cell off.
Linc and Parker have invited themselves inside and tried to “fix” me. Killer and Monroe have also been at my door. But I’ve ignored them all.
The last thing I want to do is look into their eyes and see the pity that I know is going to be within them.
I don’t need pity, or sympathy or…anything.
I just need space.
Space and time to deal with the fallout of that night and the impact it’s now having on my life.
Of course, I could ignore Hailee and continue as I always have been. But the thing about Hailee is that she’s almost always right.
No. Scratch that. She is always right.
It’s why I’m so fucking terrified.
I can tell myself that she’s wrong. That this isn’t my baby. But deep down, I know the truth.
I might have accused Beatrice of sleeping with others and not being sure. But the truth is, I remember everything about her from that night, and while she might have ended up fucking me out the back of the club, she’s not one of those girls. Not really.
She made me work harder than I ever have. And I know why.
She told me no.
That was like a red rag to a bull. Once she said that, I had to have her. Consequences be damned.
Well, hello consequences.
Maybe Hailee was right; even with protection, it was always inevitable that it was going to happen eventually. I guess I just have to be relieved that it wasn’t with a bunny who’s desperate for marriage and access to my bank account.
I haven’t heard a thing from Beatrice since before the game. That doesn’t mean I haven’t done some research, though, and I’ve discovered that there was a stream of messages from her in my request box.
She’d been trying to reach me for weeks, but just like all the other random messages I get from women, they were filtered and ignored.
But while I might have tried to do some digging, I didn’t get very far.
Her personal profiles are tightly locked down, and I wasn’t brave enough to request to follow her.
That would tell her I’m looking, and that’s the last thing I need.
I might be willing to consider Hailee’s plan, but I’m yet to decide if I’m going to go through with it.
I glance at the clock on my dashboard and notice that I need to move. My grip on the wheel tightens as my muscles tense.
Walking in there means facing a future I’m not sure I’m ready for.
Somewhere inside that building is a woman I’ve now met twice who is waiting for me so that we can see our baby.
Acid burns up my throat.
Our baby.
Tipping my head back, I close my eyes and breathe slowly in the hope of calming my racing heart.
I can’t have a baby. I can’t be a father.
I can barely look after myself. There is no way I should be given the responsibility of another person.
The engine continues to rumble. The perfect tease.
I could back out of this space and refuse to get involved with this. Or I can walk into that building and embrace whatever is about to come at me.
Both options are equally as terrifying.