Chapter 60 Beatrice
BEATRICE
The heat of Everett’s palm burns through me as his lips move against mine.
Why was I so against doing this with him again?
Fire licks through my veins and my core aches, desperate to feel something there.
But Everett hasn’t even attempted to go there.
There’s a part of me that’s impressed and relieved. But there’s another part that’s beyond frustrated.
I need him. I’ve needed him for weeks…months, if I’m being honest with myself.
The fear is still there, but with every glide of his tongue against mine, it’s fading away.
We need to stop; time is ticking. Parker is coming to pick me up so I can spend the afternoon getting ready with the girls at the hotel where tonight’s party is.
But…I really don’t want to.
Why is it that he decided he couldn’t hold back anymore on a day we don’t have to ourselves?
Karma for waiting too long, a little voice says helpfully.
“We should cancel on the party,” he mutters, his face tucked into the crook of my neck.
“We can’t,” I gasp, my back arching and my thighs clenching as he sucks on my skin. “Oh God.”
“You want to, though. Don’t you?”
“Maybe,” I confess.
“We could spend the rest of the day here, or we could take it to the bedroom, and I could spend hours worshipping you. Giving you everything you’ve been denying yourself.”
“Who says I’ve been denying myself of anything?” I ask breathlessly.
He pulls back, and the second his face is free of my neck, I find the cockiest smirk on his lips.
“Of course you have. You haven’t had me since that night.” As he says the words, his hand slides over my stomach, resting there protectively.
“You’re so full of yourself.” I realize my mistake the second his eyes flash with mirth.
“I’d rather you be full of me.”
I roll my eyes.
“You know you want a bit of this,” he teases, rolling his hips against me, letting me feel everything that’s happening in his pants.
God. I do. I want every inch of what he’s rocking down there, but the lingering fear is holding me back from taking it.
Kissing him is one thing. But if he starts doing what he just promised…I’m not sure I’m ever going to be able to come back from that.
One night changed my life in ways I never could have imagined. Would I survive allowing myself to indulge regularly?
“It’s okay,” he whispers, leaning closer and kissing the tip of my nose. “We’ve got all the time in the world.”
My heart squeezes. When he says things like that, it sounds suspiciously like he means it. But he can’t, can he? Everett Donnelly doesn’t do relationships, commitment, or forever.
Those pesky little words that Sienna said to me about being the one to change him all those weeks ago come back to me. But she wasn’t right. She can’t have been.
I’m not the kind of woman who can tame a fuckboy.
He’s just…playing house for now. Protecting his career.
He can’t…he can’t want this, me, not really.
“Hey, where did you go?” he asks, his eyes bouncing between mine.
“I’m scared,” I blurt.
“I know, sweetheart. Me too.”
“I don’t mean about the baby stuff. I mean…” I close my eyes, not wanting to look at him as I say the words. “I’m scared of you.”
He stills, his grip on my waist tightening.
“Of me?”
I take a deep breath and force my eyes open again.
“I’m scared of how much it’ll hurt when you realize you no longer want me.”
It takes a second for my words to register, but the second they do, sadness washes through his eyes, and his lips turn down at the corners.
He lowers his head to mine and takes a moment.
“I deserve that. I shouldn’t expect you to believe anything I say, not with my reputation, and not with how we started. But…this doesn’t feel fake to me anymore, Bea. Hell, I’m not sure it ever did.”
His eyes bore into mine, silently begging me to believe him.
“I want…I want to keep doing this. And not because of my career or changing my reputation. I just…I want this, you, us.”
I might be too scared to admit it out loud, but I want it, too.
The life we’ve created here under this roof over the last few weeks…I can see it continuing. I can see it including our little one.
I can see us being a family here.
It might be utterly crazy and nothing but a pipe dream, but I think I want to try.
“Me too,” I whisper so quietly that if he weren’t so close, he’d never hear it.
But he does, and the most incredible smile pulls at his lips.
“Fuck,” he pants before claiming my lips all over again.
“Yeah,” I confess, my heart dangerously close to beating out of control.
And he doesn’t let me up for air until the sound of a throat clearing right behind us forces us apart.
“Parker, what the fuck?” Everett bellows as he jumps from the sofa to the sound of his sister’s and best friend’s laughter.
“So you figured out there can be benefits, then,” Parker teases while Linc walks toward Everett and high-fives him.
“Really?” I groan, watching with amazement.
“Yeah. My man right here has been pining for you for weeks.”
“What? No, I have not,” Everett argues.
“Proud of you, man.”
“Fucking hell,” Everett groans, combing his fingers through his hair.
“Are you ready to go?” Parker asks me, her Donnelly smirk firmly in place. “Or did you need a few more minutes?”
My cheeks blaze. “N-no, I’m good. I’ll just grab my things,” I say, racing from the room as if the hounds of hell are snapping at my heels.
I almost pause the second I’m out of sight and voices float through the air so I can hear what they say to Everett—or more importantly, what he says to them. But I don’t.
Instead, I rush into my room, close the door behind me, and fall back against it, allowing myself to catch my breath.
I really don’t want to leave right now. But despite his suggestion of bailing on the party, we can’t. Not only is it Parker’s big day, but it’s also our first official outing as a couple. And then next week, we’re announcing our pregnancy.
Nerves run through me, although I must admit, they have reduced after everything today.
This fake relationship for the sake of the media is no longer, or at least it feels that way. The pressure to make everyone believe us has lifted.
My hand rises, my fingertips brushing against my swollen lips as I replay everything Everett has said to me today. And as much as my head wants to insist that he can’t possibly be telling the truth, my heart? My heart knows differently.
But will it last? That’s the real question. Six months down the line, when we have a newborn and life is stressful, will he still want this?
In a year, with another hockey season under his belt, will he still want to spend the off-season with us?
In five years’ time…
I slam my eyes closed, trying to stop myself from going down this rabbit hole.
No one knows what’s going to happen in the future.
For all we know, Everett could get traded to Alaska—does Alaska even have a team?
The point isn’t about the future; it’s about how I feel right now, and if the risk of not knowing what the future holds is worth it.
Is Everett and a future together as a family worth it?
A laugh tumbles free. I don’t know why I’m even questioning it. When it comes to Everett and our baby, my answer will always be yes.
Standing a little taller, I roll my shoulders back and push from the door.
I walk back out with my head held high and my bag over my shoulder.
When I walk back into the living room, I find that Linc and Everett have already started up the Xbox and are in the middle of a fight in a warehouse.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay and hang out with us instead?” Linc asks when he spots me. “It’s much more fun playing with someone who knows what they’re doing.”
“You don’t have to stay here, you know,” Everett complains.
“Nice job on his hair,” Parker says, trying to change the subject.
“You think? I’m not sure Lessy would approve, but—”
“It looks great. So much better than the mess it was before.”
Everett rolls his eyes but doesn’t take his attention from the game.
“Show her the pictures,” he says.
With a smile, I retrieve the ultrasound images from the island and hand them over to Parker.
“Oh my god. Look,” she says, hugging them to her chest. “It’s my niece or nephew. Is everything okay?” she asks despite having already done so via message earlier.
“Yeah, everything looks good. Measurements are right where they’re expected to be.”
“And you really didn’t find out if it was a boy or a girl?”
“Nope. We really didn’t find out.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Are you just keeping it a secret because it’s our engagement party and you’re waiting until next week?”
“No,” I laugh. “We really didn’t find out.”
Parker holds her hands up in defeat, the images hanging from her fingers. “Okay, fine.” But she winks at me as if she doesn’t believe a word of it. “I guess we should go now that Linc’s got a babysitter.”
“You’re funny,” he mutters.
“And you’re the luckiest man in the world,” she points out.
He makes a kill before dropping his controller and stalking over, his eyes on his fiancée as if he plans on devouring her right here in the middle of his brother’s living room.
“Whoa,” I gasp when he sweeps her off her feet, giving her little choice but to wrap her legs around his waist, and kisses the life out of her.
“That’s really un-fucking-necessary,” Everett grunts, his top lip peeled back in disgust as he watches his best friend molest his sister.
“Sorry, man. Could be worse. Remember that time you walked in on us—”
A cushion goes flying through the air, hitting Linc on the side of the head, but he’s laughing so hard, he barely notices.
“You’re an asshole,” Everett mutters before turning back to their game and shooting Linc’s character point-blank.
“Dude, that was brutal and utterly uncalled for,” Linc cries after putting Parker back on her feet and hopping over the back of the couch.
“So was deciding to fuck my sister, but that didn’t seem to stop you.”
“She’s the love of my life. My soul mate. Get the fuck over it.”
Parker swoons, while the two continue to bicker, and I get ready to leave. But as excited as I am to hang out with the girls, I also don’t want to leave.
“Right, we’re off. We’ll see you guys later. Please do not be late or forget to be dressed properly,” Parker warns.
“We’re not children,” Everett points out.
“Aren’t you? You’re currently playing games, and Linc brought Sour Patch Kids as a snack.”
“Oh, sweet. Where are they?” Everett asks, looking around for the goods.
“Jesus,” Parker mutters. “Come on, let’s go and hang out with some grown-ups.” She links her arm through mine and tows me toward the door when a deep, “Wait,” rings out around us.
I spin around in time to see Everett running toward us, his face set with determination.
“W-what’s wro—”
His hands land on either side of my face, and he tilts my head up so his lips can capture mine.
“Oh,” I breathe when he finally lets me up for air.
“It’s happening,” Parker cries. “Linc, it’s really happening.”
Everett groans as he rests his forehead against mine.
“Everett’s got a girlfriend. A real-life girlfriend.”