Chapter 68 Everett
EVERETT
The fear from my nightmare still lingers as Bea and I enter my childhood home hand in hand later that afternoon for a family meal. But also, the memory of feeling our baby moving. Fuck, it’s still blowing my mind.
There might have been a time where Parker and I would rather have been out with friends, or doing quite literally anything other than sitting around a table with our parents, but since they started travelling and I moved up to Seattle, family time has become such a rarity that we now embrace it.
“You okay?” Bea asks as we climb the steps to the wraparound porch.
“Yeah, of course. Why?”
“You seem…nervous?”
I can’t help but laugh. “I’m bringing a girl home for the first time. I’m…I dunno. In disbelief, I guess. I genuinely didn’t think this would ever happen.”
“You know every single word written online was bullshit, don’t you?” she asks quietly.
A heavy sigh passes my lips. When I woke this morning, the only thing I felt was bloodcurdling fear that I was going to fail Bea and our baby.
It didn’t matter that the nightmare wasn’t real.
..that it was just a figment of my imagination, it felt so real.
The way my heart raced and my hands trembled was very real.
All I want is to give them the best, and apparently, the pressure I’m putting on myself to do that is seeping into my slumber.
Sleep has never come easy to me. I know it stems from my nightmares as a child.
I used to lie in bed at night and fight like hell not to allow my eyes to shut because I knew what would happen. I’d get a front-row seat to my biggest fears playing out right in front of me.
I thought I’d left it behind, but now I’m terrified it’s going to return.
The second I grabbed my cell, I got to see those fears playing out firsthand.
I never, ever pay any attention to what is said about me online.
I learned long ago that it has the power to drag me even deeper into the darkness than I am on any normal day.
But this morning, I was powerless but to dive in.
And it was brutal. Like nothing I’ve ever seen before.
There were comments about Bea that made my blood boil.
Question after question about why I’ve chosen her.
Of course, they long figured out that she was born into money and walked away from it.
Although that story has now been spun to say she was banished by her family, not that it was her choice.
They think they have her all figured out.
But me…why would I go for someone so…ordinary? And a beauty therapist at that.
I more than understand the therapist. I’m the dumb jock, after all, and I have been almost all my life.
I can handle the chirping in my direction.
But reading those things about the girl who has come to mean everything to me?
Well, it just fed into all my insecurities that I’m not good enough for her.
“Yeah, of course,” I say with a confidence I don’t yet feel. It’s going to take a little while longer to shed the doubts.
“This is a really beautiful home,” she says, changing the subject as we walk across the deck toward the back door that will lead us right into the kitchen. The main room in the house is where almost everything has happened over the years.
As a child, I remember sitting at the island with Mom and Parker, making pictures to welcome Dad back home.
I remember running past with Linc hot on my heels, grabbing freshly baked cookies as we went to spend more hours playing hockey or basketball in the yard.
When I was a little older, I’d sit there with Mom as she helped with some of my homework.
I also remember waiting nervously with my college acceptance letter clutched to my chest so we could open it together, and only a couple of days after I was drafted to Seattle, I walked into that room and felt the arms of those who meant everything to me wrap around me.
That was the day I thought all my dreams had come true.
Something tells me that what I’m going to experience in the next few months might just change that.
“I love coming back here. So many memories.”
“I can imagine,” Bea says. There’s a sad note in her tone, and I can only imagine she’s thinking about her own childhood and the differences we experienced growing up.
But that’s all wiped away as I open the door for her. The scent of Mom’s home-cooked food floods our noses, and laughter hits our ears. Nostalgia slams into me, along with images of what our future could look like with little kids running around, squealing happily like we used to.
“Here they are,” Mom cries the second she sees us. “We thought you were going to try to make your excuses.”
“I’d never let him get away with that,” Bea answers for me as my dad strides over, wearing the most god-awful apron.
“We knew there was a reason we liked you,” he says before pulling her in for a hug.
She giggles and embraces him back.
“That’s really quite something, Dad,” I state, nodding at the sculpted torso covering him, the words, “kiss the chef” across the pecs.
“Your mom bought it for me for Christmas,” he states proudly.
“It reminds me of the good old days when a six-pack wasn’t just in the fridge.”
Dad glares at her with fake horror while the rest of us laugh at his expense.
“I’ll have you know, this body is a temple,” he says, patting his rounded belly.
“I’m not arguing about that, dear,” Mom quips before turning to the oven to check on something.
“Hey, lovebirds. Did you enjoy your night?” I ask, heading toward Linc and Parker, who are sitting at the dining table together, while Bea goes to see Mom.
“It was great,” Parker says with a smile.
“What about you? Good night? You certainly slipped out early.”
I glance over at Bea as she laughs at something Mom just said, and my heart thumps hard against my ribs.
“Bea was tired. It was a long day.”
“Uh-huh, tired. Sure,” Linc teases.
“She had a power nap on the way home,” I mutter under my breath.
Parker groans, but there’s an undeniable smile on her lips.
“Yes, bro,” Linc cheers, holding his fist up for me to bump.
I shake my head, trying and failing to wipe the smile off my face.
“Wait…what’s that?” Parker asks, staring at my lips. “It…it can’t be.”
“Yep, I’m pretty sure that’s a real smile, babe.”
“Never thought I’d see the day,” she muses.
“You’re both assholes,” I mutter, folding my arms over my chest.
“Your mom let me try her potatoes. Oh my god, I think I might come here for dinner every day,” Bea says, happily taking the chair next to me and slipping her hand into mine beneath the table.
“Ugh, if only,” Parker groans.
“Hey, you love my cooking,” Linc points out. “Thank fuck, really, because we’d die if it were up to you”
“Hey.”
“She has a point,” I state. It’s no secret that neither Parker nor I were granted Mom’s culinary skills. Not that we were ever really home much to learn anything. Sports always took over everything.
“I hope he mentioned this before moving you in,” Linc says to Bea.
“He didn’t, actually. But I quickly learned.”
“It’s a hard life putting up with these Donnelly kids, but someone has to do it.”
“Amen to that,” Dad calls across the kitchen as he pulls three beers from the fridge.
“I’m good, thanks,” I say, waving him off when he offers me one. “I’m going sober with my girl.”
Dad’s mouth opens and closes, words failing him while Mom “Ahhs,” from the kitchen.
“I’ll take it,” Parker says, stealing the bottle meant for me. “I need all the alcohol I can get to get over the fact someone has decided to put up with my irritating big brother for more than a night.”
“Hey.”
“Aw, I’m only kidding,” Parker says. “Bea, you might be a brave, brave woman, but I also know that it doesn’t just take any woman to steal my big brother’s heart.
You have something that none of the others did.
Whatever that is makes Rett smile like he hasn’t done in a very long time.
And for that, I will forever be grateful for you finding each other.
I wish you the world of happiness together, and I can’t wait for my baby cuddles. ”
Beside me, Bea sniffles, and when I glance over, I find her wiping her eyes.
“Come here,” I say, pulling her into my side and kissing her temple. “I thought we were celebrating your engagement,” I say to my sister.
“We are. But we can celebrate you two as well. I’m not that bride.”
Linc glares at her with one brow raised.
“What? I am not,” she insists.
“Parker, I suggested yellow as a wedding color the other day, and you sat me down and gave me a fifteen-minute rant about why yellow is the worst color we could possibly choose. You had a list. A physical list.”
“Yeah, well, I had a feeling you might suggest it.”
“Why? I’m not obsessed with yellow.”
“So what is your color theme?” Bea asks innocently.
“Well, I want green, obviously. But apparently, it’s too obvious.” Linc scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“Emerald green would be a beautiful color,” Mom chirps.
“Agreed,” Clark says, because, well, he agrees with everything Mom says. Happy wife, happy life.
“It’s just so predictable.”
“But it’s your color.”
“See, Bea agrees with me,” Linc pleads. “We only have a few weeks to get everything nailed down. We need to decide on this.”
“Or just go black. Classic. Sophisticated. Easy. That’s what I’d do.”
Everyone stares at me as if I’ve just had the most awful idea, until Bea’s lips curl into a smile.
“Well, lucky for you, you’re not the ones getting married.”
“Have you got your venue?” Bea asks.
“Oh yes, look,” Parker starts, pulling her cell out and leaning over both Linc and me so she can show Bea the photos of the country club they’ve booked.
“Wow, that’s beautiful. It holds a lot of people,” Bea points out almost nervously.
“We’ve got a whole-ass hockey team to invite.”
“That’s a lot of people. Doesn't it make you nervous?”
Parker pauses. “Kinda. But the man who’ll be waiting for me at the other end makes it worth it.”
Bea swoons while I gag and elbow Linc in the ribs.
The afternoon is full of laughter, banter, and the kind of easy love I’d gotten used to not having in my life all that often.
Bea fits in seamlessly, just as I expected her to. After sitting around the firepit in the garden late into the night toasting marshmallows and being forced to sit by and watch as Mom showed Bea every single photo she’s kept of my childhood, we finally climb into the car to head home.
Bea is tired, but there’s so much happiness in her expression. I wish I could bottle it and keep it forever.
“I love your family. They’re everything I wish I could have had,” she confesses.
“They have their moments,” I joke.
“Linc is lucky, adding all you guys to his family.”
I shake my head. “That asshole has always been a part of our family. I guess, really, I should have seen it coming.”
“He really loves her. They’re so sweet to watch.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “As much as it pains me to admit, I don’t think there is anyone out there better suited for my sister than my best friend.”
“Aw, you big softie,” Bea says, leaning over and hugging my arm.
“We’re building a lot of secrets between us,” I tease.
“I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s meant to work, Rett.”
My breath catches. “You called me Rett again.”
“Don’t you like it?” she asks, although when she glances over, I’m pretty sure she can read the exact opposite on my face.
“No, I love it. I l—”
“I’ll always be a safe space for you, Rett. No matter what it is, I’m here, and I’m willing to listen to it all.”
“It’s weird, isn’t it?”
“What is?” she asks as we close in on our apartment building.
“I had no idea how much I needed you in my life until suddenly you were in it.”