Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Kaden
When Doubt Meets Desire: Full Force Ahead
I flop back onto the hotel bed, my mind tangled up in Valentina. The way her laugh lights up a room, the way her voice softens when she’s caught off guard by something I say. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. It’s unsettling and thrilling all at once.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand, and for a split second, I hope it’s her. I snatch it up, my heart kicking up a notch, but the screen flashes Leif’s name instead.
“Hey,” I answer, trying to sound normal.
“I heard you’re in Colorado. I might fly there for tomorrow’s game. Can you get me a couple of tickets?” Leif’s voice comes through the line before I can even greet him.
“Couple?” I ask, sitting up and frowning. “Who else is coming with you?”
“Hailey,” he says casually. “She’s in town for the next couple of weeks, and you know how much she likes hockey.”
Hailey. The girl who transferred to our high school during Leif’s sophomore year. By the time she showed up, I was already in Canada grinding my way through junior leagues, living out of a suitcase, and chasing the dream.
I don’t know her well, but she has this uncanny knack for popping back into his life whenever she’s around. She’s important to him—that much is clear—but he keeps her at arm’s length from his career, and sometimes even from us. It’s like she’s his quiet corner of the world, something separate, something private.
“I’ll have them for you,” I say.
“Great. What’s up with you, though? I mean, I’ve heard your PR is cleaning up your image, but you sound like someone stole your puppy.”
“No clue what you’re talking about,” I lie. “I’m totally fine.”
“Bullshit.” Leif’s laugh cuts through the line. “You’re my brother. I know when something’s off.”
I sigh, dragging a hand through my hair. “I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Hmm,” he says, his tone skeptical. “Would these thoughts happen to have anything to do with my new publicist? The one you brought to the house? Ms. PR Extraordinaire that our fathers recommend everyone hire because she’s that good.”
I sit up straighter, my stomach doing a weird flip. How the hell does he know I’m thinking about Valentina?
“I can’t stop thinking about her,” I admit, my voice low. “I feel like I’m going crazy.”
Leif’s laugh booms again. “Well, well, well. Look who’s finally fallen for a girl. And here I thought you’d be a bachelor forever.”
I groan, rolling onto my side, staring at the darkened TV screen like it holds answers. “It’s not like that, Leif.”
But it is like that, isn’t it? I can’t stop replaying the way she moans my name, the way her body melts against mine when I touch her. The way she fucking trusts me. And damn if that doesn’t do something to me—a twist in my chest that feels equal parts terrifying and exhilarating. It’s not just about the sex, though fuck, the sex—or what we’ve done so far—has been unreal. The way she opens up for me, lets me take her apart, it’s enough to drive a man insane. I want her in every way. Her smile, her laugh, the way she challenges me and grounds me all at once.
“I don’t know what to do with this,” I mutter, more to myself than to Leif.
“Do with what? Being into someone? You don’t do anything, Kade. You let it happen,” Leif says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.
Let it happen. As if it’s that easy. With Valentina, it feels like anything but. It’s raw and real, and yeah, it scares the absolute shit out of me. But the thought of walking away from her? That terrifies me even more.
“Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that. But I’ve seen the way you look at her.”
I’m unsure how to respond. Leif’s always had this annoying ability to see right through me.
“Look,” he continues since I don’t respond anything. “It’s okay to have feelings for her. You deserve to be happy, Kaden.”
“I know,” I interrupt quickly. “But it’s complicated. What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”
“There’s only one way to find out,” Leif says with a shrug in his voice. “You gotta talk to her. Be honest about how you feel.”
The thought of opening up to Valentina about this sends a wave of dread through me. What if I ruin everything? What if she laughs, or worse—pulls away completely?
“I don’t know if I can do that,” I admit quietly, hating how unsure I sound.
“You can,” he says firmly. “You’re braver than you give yourself credit for, Kade. Just take it one step at a time. Start with this charity ball. See how it goes when it’s just the two of you. No cameras, no media, no bullshit. You might surprise yourself.”
I nod, even though he can’t see me. “Thanks, Leif. I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all I ask,” he says, the smugness creeping back into his tone. “Now, go to bed before you overthink yourself into a stupor. You’ve got a game tomorrow, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah,” I reply with a faint laugh. “See you tomorrow night.”
After we hang up, I toss my phone onto the bedside table and stare at the ceiling, Leif’s words looping in my head. Could he be right? Could Valentina possibly feel the same way? Or is this just me reading too much into late-night phone calls and stolen moments?
I close my eyes, trying to quiet my thoughts, but all I see is Valentina—her smile, her laugh, the way she looks at me when she thinks I’m not paying attention. For the first time in years, I let myself hope. And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough to get me through tomorrow.