Chapter 20
Mac
Watching Eliza walk out of my apartment after what we just did was one of the last things I ever wanted.
I also wasn’t going to force her to stay.
She’d finally gotten comfortable enough with me that we were able to do what we just did.
She was stunning not only because she’s beautiful, but because she felt confident about herself.
She didn’t shy away. She didn’t hide she embraced at all.
I’ve never been as turned on by anything in my life as I was watching Eliza kneeling on my bed.
I make my way around my apartment, blowing out the candles, memories of the way the light flickered across Eliza'a skin filling my mind. When I finally climb into bed, all I can think about is her. The sounds she made, the way her eyes stayed on me.
Eliza is consuming me in a way I never imagined possible.
I thought six months was going to be enough.
I’m learning slowly that it’s not going to be, but I’m ten years older than her, and I don’t think I can provide her the life she would want.
I’m going to have to realize that all I get is these six months before she finally has the confidence to go find someone who can give her everything she deserves.
When I wake up the next morning, I should be in a good mood.
I had an amazing night, but really it led me to some realizations that I’m not ready to accept.
I want to see Eliza again, but I’m not sure if seeing her so soon is the right decision.
I send her a text to let her know I’m thinking about her and that I didn’t just watch her get her rocks off and forget about her.
After last night, I know I need to ask her to come to London with me next month. I’m struggling not seeing her again tonight, how am I supposed to go an entire week without? Before I can question myself, I send her another text.
Mac
Will I see you at the game on Friday?
Eliza
Yeah, I’ll be there.
Mac
Bring a bag.
Bubbles pop up and disappear a few times before the next message finally comes through.
Eliza
What should I bring?
Mac
Whatever you want.
Eliza
Not really helpful.
Mac
Bring whatever you think you’ll want and need.
My plan is to soak up as much time with her as possible in the coming months.
So if that means trying to convince her to spend this weekend with me, so be it.
I know that laying that plan out directly for her will probably have her reverting into herself, so I need it to be her idea.
I put my phone away and get back to work, but after thirty minutes, it buzzes again.
Eliza
Okay.
I spend the next few days working late into the night, doing everything I can to ensure that I’ll have an uninterrupted weekend with Eliza.
By the time it’s Friday, I’m out of the office at exactly five and head straight to the rink.
Eliza pulls in at the same time, and I park beside her.
I grab my bag and sticks, and we walk towards the building together.
As we enter, I slip my hand into hers and entwine our fingers.
As much as it’s because we’re in public and my teammates and her friends will be watching, it’s also because I want to.
Her friends are already here when we arrive, and the second they notice us, they’re watching us with intrigue. I knew that asking Eliza to be a part of this deal would have everyone in our lives interested, but I truly underestimated just how much her friends would be.
We stop outside the door to the change room, and I kiss her, whispering, “You brought a bag with you?” just loud enough for her to hear.
She nods, and I kiss her quickly again before heading into the change room.
Even though we lose the game, I still find I’m happy as we get off the ice. I’m looking forward to this weekend. Eliza tells me she’s going upstairs with the girls to get food and asks if I want anything. I give her my order and quickly shower and change so I can meet her upstairs.
“Somewhere you need to be?” Matt asks.
“No.”
He scoffs. “Really, you’re changing faster than usual.”
“Eliza is waiting for me.”
A collection of ohs comes from a few guys, and I shake my head at them.
“So you’re rushing to get out of here and get laid,” Grayson says, and my head snaps up.
“Have some class, man.”
He just shrugs.
“Grayson is doing the same thing. Although we all know we’re going to have to wait until the girls are ready to leave,” Matt says.
“How do you guys keep doing these late nights with kids?” I ask.
“Cate and Jayden seem to sleep anywhere, so they usually fall asleep here and we just transfer them to their beds when we get home,” Matt says.
“We won’t be able to do it for long, so we’re enjoying it while we can,” Josh adds.
“We only bring Charlie to weekend games. It’s too late during the week for her because of school. She likes hanging out with everyone, though,” Caleb says.
I couldn’t imagine trying to balance my work schedule, hockey, and a family. I tip my hat to the guys that do.
We make our way upstairs and join the girls just as food is delivered.
I watch how they all interact with each other and how seamlessly they fit together.
I know they’ve all been friends for years, but to see just how connected they are, knowing about each other’s families and having these stories of their childhood, it has me rubbing absently at my chest. Growing up in boarding schools and moving countries meant that I never got that.
I put up walls and isolated myself because it was easier.
Between that and my relationship with my father, I never thought a family was really in my future.
My parents never had a healthy relationship, my father was controlling and my mother put up with it because of me.
When she finally hit her breaking point, it meant I almost never saw her because of my father.
He was my only role model growing up, and I never wanted to put that on children, so I had come to the conclusion that it was in the cards for me to build a family.
Seeing how this group has built a chosen family that supports each other has me starting to question my initial thoughts. The issue is I’m thirty-six and I’m wondering if I’m too late to this conclusion to be able to make a change.
“Mac?”
Eliza’s voice breaks me from my train of thought, and I smile down at her.
“Pardon?”
“Josh was asking you a question.”
I turn to him, and he asks, “I was wondering if you wanted to join us for the Cyclones game next Saturday. We’re all watching it from a box.”
“Oh, yeah. That sounds great.”
The guys have never invited me to something like that before, and I’m beginning to realize that even though I’ve played on this team for years, I’ve never been a part of the team. I’ve kept myself on the edges of it.
I look down at Eliza as she continues talking with her friends, and I know I owe this change to her.
Without thinking, I lean over and kiss the top of her head.
She smiles at me, sending a jolt through my body.
She doesn’t realize the impact she’s having on me, and I’m torn between letting her know and keeping it to myself.