Chapter 21
Eliza
Ishould be questioning how normal it feels to have Mac join my friends and me for dinner after a game, but I don’t.
Instead my anxiety lies with the fact that I have a packed overnight bag in my car with every intention of going to Mac’s tonight and needing it.
I’ve never thought about staying over at a man’s place before.
I’ve never felt comfortable or safe enough for it to even be a thought that crossed my mind, but the little things Mac does makes that worry completely disappear.
After we say goodbye to everyone, Mac slips his hand in mine and I follow him outside.
The closer we get to my car, the more my mixed anxiety and excitement rush to the surface.
Now is make or break. Do I actually go to Mac’s, or do I chicken out and head home?
I take a deep breath and tell myself, This is exactly what you wanted.
You wanted to break the box you’ve been living in and take charge of your life.
“I’ll see you at my place?” he asks as we finally reach the cars.
“Yeah.”
A grin spreads across his face, and he opens my door for me. ”Okay. I’ll see you soon.”
I blush and shake my head as I get into my car and follow him.
As we step into Mac’s apartment, he slides my bag off my shoulder and disappears into his room, calling, “Make yourself at home,” over his shoulder. I slip out of my shoes and pad over to his couch, slipping under a blanket, the weight of it calming me slightly.
Mac comes out a few moments later, and I pull my legs closer, but once he sits beside me, he lifts them by my ankles and drapes them over his legs.
He silently turns the TV on and hands me the remote.
I smile at him and scroll through the movie options.
When I finally settle on an option, I relax back into the couch.
The moan that leaves me as Mac runs his thumb up the instep of my foot has me immediately blushing and biting my lip.
It only encourages him, and he repeats the motion.
Holy hell. I’ve never had my feet massaged before, and the way that Mac is doing it right now is pure fucking bliss.
I drop my head back, forgetting the movie as I allow the relaxed feeling to overtake my entire body.
Wearing heels five days a week kills my feet.
The office doesn’t require them, but something feels weird when I don’t wear them, like I’m underdressed.
I can’t remember the last time my feet have felt this kind of tension release.
I feel taken care of right now. A feeling I haven’t had in a long time.
I love my parents, but they weren’t warm and fuzzy growing up, they were pragmatists who made sure I had everything I needed and grew up healthy.
We didn’t curl up on the couch for family movie nights or build forts in our living room.
We did educational activities and exercise or outdoor activities.
Right now, I feel as though my comfort is the main priority.
The longer Mac works his thumb into the bottom of my foot, the more I find myself dozing off. I’m on the cusp of sleep when he runs the back of his fingers over my cheek and whispers my name.
I hum in response and hear his slight chuckle as he adjusts himself, I think to face me more.
“Eliza, you should get ready for bed.”
I nuzzle into the couch cushion, and he tucks my hair behind my ear. My lips pull up at the corners without thought.
He slides out from under my legs, and then seconds later I’m being lifted. My eyes fly open as my arms immediately wrap around his neck.
“Now you’re awake,” he says through his laugh.
“Yeah, I was just removed from my very comfy position on your couch.”
“You’re not sleeping out here. You’ll sleep in my bed.”
“Your bed?” I squeak, and heat fills my cheeks.
“Yes.”
He walks us to his room before gently setting me on the edge of the mattress.
I spot my bag at the end of the bed and reach for it, pulling out my pyjamas and toothbrush.
Mac steps back, giving me space to slide off and into his washroom.
I quickly brush my teeth, and when I return to the bedroom, Mac is already under the covers with a book.
I put my clothes in my bag and pull out my Kindle before sliding under the covers next to him.
I take my glasses off and place them on the nightstand, lying on my side facing away from him and trying to read my book.
I’m on the edge of the mattress, putting as much distance between Mac and I as possible.
I have no idea what I’m supposed to do here.
We’re not a real couple, yet he wants to share a bed to sleep.
He’s made zero moves to show that he wants to do more than sleep.
Just the knowledge that he’s less than a foot behind me has me unable to focus on my book.
I’ve read the same page probably ten times and haven’t even comprehended a single sentence of it.
My eyes flutter shut, and I think about what would happen if I were to shuffle closer to the centre of the bed, maybe rolled and faced him.
What would he do? When I open my eyes, I notice that I did actually scoot back a few inches.
I close my Kindle and put it on the nightstand, knowing I’m not going to get any actual reading done.
I close my eyes and focus on my breathing, hoping that thinking it about it will lull me to sleep.
I should know better, it doesn’t, all it has me doing is worried if I’m breathing the right way.
Am I holding my breath after I inhale? Am I not inhaling soon enough when I exhale.
Stupid fucking questions to be asking myself, but they invade my brain like little worms trying to build homes.
After a few minutes, I feel one of Mac’s hands on my waist. I roll towards him slightly, enough that I can see him over my shoulder.
“Will you be warm enough?” he asks.
I nod, and his other hand comes up and his thumb runs over my cheek, I find myself leaning into his touch.
I roll onto my back, and he leans closer.
I take a chance and lean up to dust my lips over his.
He kisses me back, his hand sliding across my stomach to my other side and pulling me close.
I melt into him. As much as I’d love for Mac’s hand to wander my body, it stays perfectly still in its place on my side.
We kiss until we’re breathless. As we both work to catch our breath, he places soft kisses on my cheeks and the corner of my lips before we’re making out again.
I’ve never understood the saying wanting to crawl a man like a tree until now.
I want to press our bodies together, to be as close as possible, but I don’t.
His lack of exploring my body has me staying right in this spot, enjoying the way his lips feel against mine; breathing the same air as him.