Chapter Twenty-Six
Vivian
I didn’t realize how far I’d driven until the GPS pinged and the sign declaring the Nevada–California border was just a mile away.
The sun hung low in the sky, gold bleeding into pink and orange.
My eyes burned from too many tears and too little sleep.
I should’ve felt free. Instead, it felt like every mile between me and Steel City carved another piece out of my heart.
TJ’s sweet laughter still echoed in my mind. The way his tiny arms wrapped around my neck when he was sleepy, holding me with so much love and trust. The way Falcon looked at us this morning, like he couldn’t believe his luck. I was the one who didn’t deserve them. I already missed them.
This is the right choice, I told myself. Hopefully, I’d start to believe it soon enough.
I pulled off the highway when I spotted a diner with flickering neon lights and a row of trucks lined up in the parking lot. My hands trembled as I slid into a booth. The waitress, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes, brought coffee before I even asked.
“Refill’s on the house, sweetheart,” she said with a smile.
“Thank you,” I whispered, wrapping my hands around the cup, savoring the heat as it burned my palms. I held the mug tighter, letting the burn sear through to the bone.
By killing that Russian I’d probably brought even more trouble to Steel Demons’ front door.
I knew running off was the coward’s way out, but the more distance I put between myself and the club, the less chance that someone else would get hurt.
I just hoped that once Falcon and his club brothers had their meeting, Petrov realized that it wasn’t the MC he was after, but me.
I shouldn’t have left.
The doubt crept in, distracting me from what I knew I had to do.
Leaving was the right thing to do no matter how much it hurt to be away from them and no matter what my heart told me.
Falcon deserved better than someone who dragged chaos into his life, putting his friends’ lives at risk.
The MC deserved peace for however long it lasted.
And TJ? Good, my sweet boy deserved to live in a world without fear. A world filled with love and happiness and more joy than he could stand.
Maybe I could stay near Steel City. Just close enough to see him grow up. I could watch from a distance, an outside observer, a ghost in my little boy’s life.
“Hey, hon, you want something to eat?” The waitress waited with a patient smile. Her name tag said ‘Mindy’. She looked towards the kitchen and said, “Greg ain’t much to look at but he’s a magician on the flat top.”
I’d planned to stop at the diner for just a few minutes.
Grab a cup of coffee and gather my thoughts before getting on the road, but Mindy’s offer was irresistible.
I picked up the menu and scanned it until I found something that made me smile.
“Cherry pie with ice cream, please. And a refill, thanks.”
“Got it. Anything else?” Her eyes were full of understanding that instantly made me feel a little bit better about… everything.
“I’m eyeing that chocolate pie but let’s start with the cherry.”
“Sounds good. I’ll save you a piece of chocolate just in case.” Mindy took off, grabbing the coffee pot before she bounced from table to table refilling mugs.
Guilt overwhelmed me to the point of tears and I stood abruptly, rushing to the bathroom before I was that woman falling apart in front of the whole diner.
The bathroom was empty, all the stall doors hung open and still.
I was completely alone in the stark white, fluorescent light, staring at my haggard reflection.
I looked sad and exhausted, which was exactly how I felt.
Guilt hung around in my eyes and not even cold water could erase it, or the heaviness that hung around my shoulders.
The water woke me up, but it did nothing to fix my red eyes or blotchy cheeks.
Or the sadness that made my heart beat just slightly off.
“You did the right thing,” I assured my reflection.
Wasn’t that adulthood, making the right decision even when it hurts like hell?
That tracked but I wasn’t convinced. Maybe crossing the state line would make it feel right. Maybe a few more hundred miles of distance would make this feel like the right thing to do.
Maybe one day TJ would forgive me.
When I came back out to the dining room, I froze mid-step.
Falcon sat in my booth with his long legs stretched out under the table, tattooed arms crossed casually over his chest, eating my damn pie. He didn’t look angry. He looked tired and sure, like a man who’d already decided how this was going to end.
My heart stuttered as I took a step forward before stopping again. “Falcon. What are you doing here?”
He looked up, spoon halfway to his mouth, and smiled.
It was that slow, knowing grin that never failed to make my pulse jump.
It was proof that I hadn’t put enough distance between us.
“You didn’t think you could tell me you loved me and then leave me, did you?
” His words were so cocky I couldn’t help but smile.
He’s here. That thought shouldn’t have made me happy, but it made me unbelievably happy. “Yeah. I did, actually.”
Falcon chuckled, the sound low and dark, barely amused. He pointed to the seat across from him, the unspoken command impossible to ignore.
I slid into the booth, heart pounding as his gaze settled on me.
“You thought wrong.”
My hands twisted in my lap as I watched him. Why was he here? Why was he so calm while he devoured my pie?
He chewed and my gaze went to his jaw, so strong and beautiful. Instantly my body remembered the feel of his scruff on my skin. He swallowed, those hazel eyes seared into my soul. “I realized there was something I didn’t get to say to you, so I came after you so I could.”
I shook my head as if that act alone could stop whatever he planned to say because I knew, whatever the words were, they would convince me to do what he wanted. “How did the meeting go?”
Falcon finished chewing the last bite and set the fork down. He stared at me, tilting his head with a smirk tugging at his lips. “Trying to change the subject?”
“Maybe.” More like trying to protect us both. I killed one of Anton’s men. That couldn’t go unpunished. If there was a target on my back, then I couldn’t allow myself to soften at Falcon’s words no matter how much I wanted to go back to the clubhouse with him.
He sighed, reaching for my coffee. “It went fine. He was understanding about that incident in the park,” Falcon paused.
I opened my mouth to speak, but he continued.
“He was actually impressed with how you looked out for our son. So there’s no comeback over that.
Anyway, Anton was furious when he learned that St. John wanted his final revenge to be killing TJ.
” His jaw clenched, evidence he was still angry about that. “He handed him over to me as a gift.”
“A gift?” The words stuttered out of me.
“Yeah,” he grinned, nodding slowly as he watched me, searching for my reaction. “He gave him to me and I handled it. Permanently.”
I should have been horrified. I should have felt anything but the relief that washed over me. James would never be a threat to me or my family again. He could no longer wreak havoc on Falcon’s life or his MC. “Thank you.” I reached out to touch him and pulled my hand back at the last minute.
Falcon reached for my hand, sandwiching it between us. “It was for all of us. I knew you wouldn’t rest peacefully until he was no longer a threat.”
My heart was already softening, but the fear was still there. After years of running I wasn’t sure I could ever feel normal again.
“Now back to what I realized.” He flashed a triumphant smile as if he could read my mind. “I love you, Viv.”
My lips pressed together before I could shout that I loved him too. “You said that already,” I replied instead.
“I know.” He pushed the small plate to the side and leaned his forearms on the table.
“But now I’m saying it to you. For real.
To your face. With my whole fucking heart, Viv.
I love you.” His grip tightened on my hand as if he knew I was on the verge of running.
“I’m in love with you and I’m not letting you get away. ”
Tears stung the backs of my eyes. I tried to free my hand, but he held them tight. Gentle yet firm. “You don’t have to say that,” I whispered, barely able to hold back the threatening tears.
“I know I don’t. I’m not saying it because I have to.
” His voice softened, low enough so that only I could hear them.
“I’m saying it because… fuck because it’s the truth.
I’ve never let anyone take care of me the way you did.
Never let myself depend on anyone like that.
And I’ve never felt the kind of fear I did when you left me.
Twice. Hell, three times if you count the first time.
” He flashed a faint, almost broken smile.
“Falcon,” I whispered and placed my other hand on top of his.
“I thought maybe it was just because we got along so well. I tried to convince myself it was just because things were so fucking easy between us. But lying in bed with you and TJ? Fuck, Viv, I saw it all laid out in front of me—the life we could have together. It was fucking beautiful, you know?”
I nodded. “I’ve seen it too.”
Something flashed in his eyes and he held my hands tighter. “We could have that, Viv. If the woman I love would just stop fucking running off at the first signs of any trouble.”
His words slammed against me like a fist. My heart stopped completely and the air around us vibrated with uncertainty. “You mean that?”
He nodded without hesitation, his gaze dark and certain. “Every goddamn word, Viv.”
I blinked, the tears now spilling freely down my cheeks. “I know you said the words, Falcon, but I never even considered—”
“That I could love you,” he finished before I could.
I nodded weakly, turning away in shame.
“Look at me Viv.” When I met his gaze, his expression softened.
“I love you and I am not letting you go. Not again.” His words held an intense promise that shook me to my core.
“You leave one more time and I will find you. No matter where you go, me and TJ, we’ll find you and bring you back home. Where you belong.”
A choked laugh came out, ugly and wet with tears. “You sound awfully sure of yourself.” My heart pounded again, this time it was an excited pounding.
Falcon stood, sliding from his side of the booth to mine. His arm wrapped around my waist, the other hand cupping my face gently as his thumb brushed away a tear. “I am sure,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine. “No more running, Viv.”
My eyes closed and a sob escaped, but I nodded. “No more running.”
“Babe.” His lips were on mine, smiling at first before he stole a kiss that recaptured my heart all over again.
This man was it for me and I knew it. I could, I could hide, I could fight it until my dying breath and that would still be true. The only thing it would do was steal time we could have together. Loving each other.
“I love you,” I whispered against his mouth when we broke apart. “I love you, Falcon.”
“I love you too, so fucking much. Now let me take you home.”
I nodded, staying silent because I couldn’t trust my voice.
But I took his offered hand and let him tug me out of the diner.
My heart still ached but the weight of it felt different, lighter and brighter.
Like maybe it didn’t matter that love didn’t make sense, that I wasn’t confident I deserved it, but I had it anyway.
The sun hit my face, and I knew then that I was no longer running away from anything.
I was finally running towards something.
My future.