Chapter Twenty-Five
Falcon
The ride back to the clubhouse was a fucking blur, and honestly, I wasn’t sure how I made it back in one piece. My thoughts filled all the quiet spaces that popped in the aftermath of bloodshed. I was calm now, resolved. Hell, I was ready to claim my woman and start our lives together.
As soon as we got back to the clubhouse, I jumped off my bike, ready to sit down and talk to Viv.
It was past time that we sat down and bared our souls.
I told her that I loved her and I’d meant it, but there was more I needed to say.
My gaze scanned the room packed with women and children as soon as I stepped inside, but there was no trace of her.
“Dada!” TJ spotted me immediately and rushed towards me as fast as his little legs would carry him, slamming into me with a loud laugh as he hugged my legs. “Dada, up!”
I bent down and grabbed him, gathering him close. “Did you have fun while I was gone?”
I had no fucking clue what he was saying but the sound of his incoherent baby babble was soothing. He talked in a sing-song voice that didn’t make his words any clearer.
“Let’s go see what your mom is up to.”
“Mommy!”
I held him close, shocked how easily this little boy had taken ownership of such a large piece of my heart.
How was it possible to love someone so fiercely after just a few weeks?
I didn’t know the mechanics, but I knew that was how I felt.
“Yep, Mommy.” Since Viv spent most of her time in the room, I started there but the moment I opened the door, I knew something was different.
Her clothes and her bags were still inside the room. Her toiletries still dotted the sink and the bathtub. Her toothbrush still sat in the plastic holder on the sink, but the air inside the room was stale as if it had been abandoned. “Viv,” I called out, but there was no answer. “Where is she?”
“Mommy,” TJ called out but she still didn’t answer and she wouldn’t.
Her things were here but she was gone. I hadn’t checked the whole damn place, but I knew she’d left me.
Again.
My heart sank when I spotted the piece of paper on the middle of the bed, the bright yellow sheet sat there, ominous and mocking. “Shit,” I whispered as I reached for the note.
Falcon,
I don’t know where you are or what’s happening, but I hope you return safely.
That’s all that matters to me right now.
I know you’re going to hate me for leaving again and I want, no, I need you to know that I love you.
I thought I loved you three years ago when we were together but now that you’ve let me see all the sides of you, the vulnerable, the goofy, the sexy, the father, the killer, the brother, I love you even more and with my whole heart.
You and your brothers, your MC, have given me and TJ more than we deserve. You’ve kept us safe even when it put you in danger, and it is a debt I will never be able to repay. You, Falcon, you have shown me what it means to be loved and seen and cared for. And that’s exactly why I can’t stay.
Your people don’t trust me. They don’t like me, and they don’t want me around.
Honestly, I get it, I put them and those they love in danger.
I was fooling myself to think I could have it all, my career, you and TJ, a real family.
After everything you’ve done for me, I can’t bring more drama into your lives.
Please make sure TJ knows just how much I love him. Maybe one day he’ll forgive me.
You once told me you weren’t sure who you’d become if something happened to me. I didn’t get it at first, but I do now because I’m not sure who I’d become if I stayed.
I love you, Falcon. With my whole heart.
Truly.
Deeply.
Eternally.
The paper shook in my hand, and for a long moment I just stood there staring at the words until they blurred into one inky mass. My chest was so tight I could hardly fucking breathe, my mouth too full of all the words I never got a chance to say to her.
“Fuck!” The word tore out of me, raw and loud.
TJ jumped. “Dada?”
“I’m okay, buddy.”
He wrapped his little arms around me and squeezed.
I hugged him back as if I could pull strength from his small body. I couldn’t do that, but I could do something better. Bring her back.
Somewhere Viv was out there scared and hurt, thinking she was doing the right thing. Thinking that she was protecting us, keeping us safe by running.
She was wrong and as soon as I found her, I would let her know just how wrong she was because I meant it when I told her if she ran, I would chase her.
Find her.
Bring her back to me.
To us.
“Come on, TJ. Let’s go find Mommy.”
“Mommy?”
I nodded and left the room, mind racing trying to figure out where Viv would go.
Raven stood on the other side of the door, arms crossed, attitude in full force. “There you are.”
“What do you want, Raven?”
She blinked. “What did I do?”
“Went out of your fucking way to make sure Viv felt unwelcome here.”
She shrugged. “How is that my fault? She’s the one—”
“She was fucking innocent in all of this!” My voice thundered in the hallway, so loud the conversation in the rest of the building stopped. “None of this was her fault and you made sure she couldn’t stay.”
Raven sucked in a breath, eyes wide and then guilty. “How was I supposed to know?” She was in defense mode now, but that shit wasn’t going to fly. Not today.
“It doesn’t matter, Raven. She was here under our protection, and this building? It belongs to the MC, not you. You’re a guest here as much as she is.”
“I’m your sister.”
“She is the woman I love. She is TJ’s mother.” I kissed my son and handed him to his aunt. “You’re going to watch TJ. Keep him happy and fed until I get back with Viv. You better hope I find her,” I warned and stomped off.
Anger rolled off my body, hot and all-consuming. I had no fucking place to put it right now because I needed to find Diesel and Rocky and let them know. They were in the office, talking quietly in one corner while Slate worked on his computer, headphones on.
“She’s gone,” I said without warning. “Viv left. Again.”
Slate pulled off his headphones. Rocky and Diesel looked at me with matching worried expressions. “Viv?”
My jaw clenched and I nodded. “Yeah.” I handed Diesel the letter, his eyes tracked down the page as Rocky peered over his shoulder.
“I have to find her.”
They nodded their understanding because they’d been through this shit before. “Any idea where she might go?”
I shook my head. “She doesn’t have any family. I don’t even know how she got away.”
“I can help with that,” Slate offered. “I took her to her car a few weeks ago.” He was already typing as he spoke. “I can follow her from the parking garage and worst case, give you a clue what direction she’s headed.”
I nodded. “Thanks, man.”
“Anything we can help with?” Rocky asked.
“Yeah, tell the women that it wasn’t Viv who brought this shit to our door. She didn’t kill Alexei and because of all this shit I missed out on years with my kid.”
They both nodded. “We’ll spread it around.”
“Thanks.” I didn’t know if it would help with Vivian, but I had to try. At this point I would try everything I could, use every tool and every trick I could think of to convince her to come back.
To let me love her.
She was my family, dammit. And come hell or high water, I would chase her down and bring her back home where she belonged.