Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Beckett dragged a palm down his face, trying to wake himself up. “Did I actually sleep?” he murmured, grateful to see Sydney still lying next to him. She had one leg wrapped around the black sheet, covering only part of her lower body, but her breasts were on display. The sight of this beautiful woman in his bed had him thinking maybe they’d go another round. Because damn.
“Are you surprised? After the night we had?” Sydney turned to her side, untangled her legs from the sheet, and draped it over her body. He was buck naked on top of the bedding; it was too hot to be covered by anything.
He fluffed his pillow and slid one arm under it as he faced her. “I guess you were the cure I needed for my insomnia.” But what about tonight? Tomorrow night? He wasn’t sure what would happen next between them, and he was kicking himself for thinking about that given the reason they were in Mexico.
“Well, I’ve heard people usually sleep better after sex, so I’m not sure I can take all the credit.” The somberness in her tone took him by surprise. “Of course, I haven’t exactly been testing that theory . . .”
“Good.” He hadn’t intended to say that out loud, but the thought of her in bed with another man didn’t sit well. “It’s been quite a long time for me,” he shared, because at that point, why not?
They now knew every intimate detail of each other’s bodies. And she was the first woman, outside of his family, to know the sordid details about Cora. He’d given her a lot more than the bullet point version of his life, and she hadn’t run away. She was still there in his bed.
She lifted her gaze toward the orange sash still hanging loosely from the headboard behind them. “You surprised me with that.”
“Surprised myself.” He remembered her eyes wide and on him while he carefully bound her wrists before covering her body in kisses.
“Don’t tie people up often, I take it? Not that it’s any of my business.” Her surprisingly shy tone of voice and dilated pupils betrayed a hint of nervousness. She was lying. She did care. And for whatever reason, he liked that she cared.
“Only those I arrest, so no, not in the bedroom.” That was new for me. “You’re the first, and I guess I got lost in the moment.”
“So, um, what happened with your date from the wedding, then? If you haven’t had sex in a while.” She rolled her lips inward and shook her head as though chiding herself. “Not my business again.”
“I think it is,” he answered with a firm nod, reaching out to lightly caress her arm. “After the night we shared, I think whatever you want to know is very much your business.”
Normally, he was a closed book. Even after spending the night with a woman. No bacon and eggs for breakfast and certainly no deep conversations over coffee or in the bed. But there he was, wanting to do anything and everything with Sydney, even if that felt like an impossibility.
As she remained quiet, probably considering his words, he circled his finger over the soft skin around her belly button, skimming back and forth along a faded scar above her navel, and then realized he hadn’t yet answered her wedding date question.
“It was our first and last date. Because I saw you there in that backless dress, and you took my fucking breath away. I wasn’t about to screw one woman while thinking of another.” Maybe he’d overshared, but Sydney deserved the truth.
“Ohhh? And do I know this mysterious other woman?”
“You may know her, yes. And I happened to spend some time between her legs where she seemed to get to know God too.”
She laughed and tossed him a quick, sexy look before her attention returned to the thatched roof ceiling. “I have a confession, then.”
“Well, this should be good.”
She faced him again, laying her head on the pillow. “One of those books Savanna gave me was about a sheriff. And I may have pictured you while reading it. And possibly while touching myself after reading.” Her sexy tone and the way she looked at him had his body waking again.
The idea of this woman fingering her clit while imagining them together even before he’d shown up to Tulum . . .
Damn.
A few seconds passed before his gaze returned to her belly button. “How long ago did you have this pierced?”
She touched her navel and smiled.
“There’s a story there, I take it?”
“Perhaps.” Her smile dissolved though. “You really want to know?”
“I do,” he was quick to answer. “Please.”
“And if it involves another guy?” Her nose wrinkled adorably.
“Go for it, sweetheart. I can handle it.”
“Keep in mind that you have a teenage daughter, so this story might strike a nerve.” She raised a palm in warning between them, and he playfully glared at her before reaching beneath the sheet to set a palm on her hip. Not satisfied with just that simple touch, he reached around and gripped her ass, drawing her body closer to him.
“Stop stalling and just rip off the Band-Aid already,” he told her while squeezing her firm ass cheek a bit harder. The memory of pounding her like an animal last night cut through his mind, and his morning wood was harder than hard.
“Okay.” She slid her tongue between her lips, clearly trying to distract him, the little temptress. “A week after my eighteenth birthday, my bodyguard’s son took my virginity.”
She bit into her lip as his hand slid between her legs, hidden still by the sheet. His finger played over the lips of her pussy, fighting the ridiculous urge to demand Mine . “And then what?” He lazily smoothed the pad of his thumb along the seam of her sex, and the sheet dropped a little from a heavy breath, exposing her tits.
“You’re distracting me,” she whispered. “You’ve been doing that since last night, but I needed it.” She moaned when he applied a little more pressure. “I really, really needed it.”
He had a feeling her need had more to do with the phone call from her ex than their “jaunt” in the jungle, but he didn’t want to think about that asshole. Or the fact he’d ever shared a bed with this beautiful woman and had been stupid enough to lose her.
My gain , he supposed, then internally winced. Her ex hurt her, and he’d rather Sydney have never been hurt, even if it meant last night wouldn’t have happened.
“So, continue,” he requested, his tone a bit deeper than normal. “Continue making me jealous.”
“Jealous? This story is from twenty years ago.” She planted her lip between her teeth and sucked her bottom lip when he cupped her sex with his palm.
“You’re in bed with me right now. Naked. Soaking wet.” He plunged two fingers inside her, and she arched her back, her nipples pebbling. “So, thoughts of any other man going near you, now, then, tomorrow . . . drives me a bit crazy. I can’t help it.” Or explain it. But he also didn’t seem to have a mute button to hide his feelings. To stop himself from oversharing. “So, continue.”
“I’ll try my best with you touching me like that.”
“The bodyguard’s son,” he prompted. “How old was he?”
“Twenty-two.” She paused and looked at him, waiting for a reaction.
His hand went still. “Your dad kill him? How well did he hide the body?”
“You’re funny.”
He cocked his head. “I’m serious.”
She rolled her eyes and playfully swatted his chest, but he captured her wrist with his free hand. “The point of this story is my belly button ring.”
“I have yet to hear a connection between this too-old-for-you guy and your belly button ring.” If his daughter had been in the same situation . . . no, he couldn’t wrap his head around that idea.
“Ah, is this the sheriff or the father talking?”
“No distinction at the moment.” He tipped his head, a request to continue.
“My dad walked in on us. He fired my bodyguard, and he gave me the silent treatment for a month. So, I rebelled. Got my belly button pierced to piss him off. To try and get him to talk to me.”
Silent treatment? Fired the guy’s dad? That was her father’s reaction to his daughter losing her virginity to her bodyguard’s son? Yeah, I’m nothing like him . “Did it work? Did he talk to you?”
“Eventually. The damn thing got infected and left a scar after I removed it.” She shrugged. “I guess I was always a bit of a rebel. But I still feel guilty I got someone fired because of my stupid need for my father’s attention.”
The downside of being rich, he supposed. Busier parents? Was that the issue? He’d always done his best to be present in McKenna’s life as much as possible, but he wished she had a mother there too. Sure, his mom and sister had stepped in, but no one could truly replace a mother’s love, could they?
Beckett moved his hand up to Sydney’s abdomen, feeling wrong about touching her after what she’d shared.
“How else were you rebellious? Jesse’s dad forced him to join the Army to quote, unquote, straighten him out. Was that the case with you?” Of course, back then, Beckett hadn’t known that Jesse’s dad , not Jesse, needed straightening out. That news had only recently been revealed.
Sydney smiled. “Ha. No. I joined the Army because my dad didn’t want me to.”
“Surprised he didn’t find a way to stop you.”
“Oh, he tried, but I was stubborn. Although, I did give in to his request that I attend West Point first.” She smoothed her hand over the dusting of hair on his pecs as if lost in thought. “And then I pissed him off by breaking a school rule the first semester.”
“Which was?”
She lifted her gaze to meet his eyes. “I dated Gray. He was a Firstie, a senior, and it’s forbidden for Firsties and freshmen to date.”
The news Sydney and Gray had not only dated but Gray had also proposed was still a hard pill for Beckett to swallow. But it went down a little easier knowing she turned him down.
“I don’t regret my act of rebellion in joining the Army because it turned out to be the best decision I ever made. I wouldn’t have Levi if I hadn’t, um . . .”
Hadn’t what? He wasn’t sure if she planned to finish her sentence, but based on the forlorn look in her eyes, he knew she was recalling painful memories this time.
“Anyways.” She shrugged as if relieving herself of an emotional burden that’d momentarily pressed down on her shoulders. “My father offered to fund a new weapons program for half the usual fee and got me honorably discharged after serving four years instead of the five I owed the Army after West Point. I was so pissed, but . . . money talks. And the next thing I knew, I was working for him. He won.”
He knew there was more to her story she was choosing to leave out, and those parts were hurting her now. Sensing she needed a hug but wouldn’t ask, he urged her to shift, and he pinned her back to his chest and held her.
He couldn’t help but calculate the difference between her age and her son’s, assuming that was the part she was choosing not to share right now—Levi’s father.
She’d said Levi wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for her serving in the military, so who was his dad? Had he been in the Army? What happened to him?
Sydney turned in his arms, and when she faced him, there were tears in her eyes. “All you did was ask me about my belly button scar, and somehow the conversation got so . . . deep.”
Her body tensed, and he smoothed his thumb along the contour of her cheek, catching a tear there.
“See.” She frowned. “My, um, book cover doesn’t match the inside. Not now, at least. I’m not as strong as everyone thinks.”
“You are strong. The strongest woman I’ve ever met. And I come from a family of tough women, so when I say that,” he said around a hard swallow, his voice cracking from unexpected emotion, “I mean it.”
“Most days, it’s an act,” she whispered.
“It’s not an act. It’s true.” He gently cupped her chin, demanding her attention. “Look at me.
“Who made you think you’re not strong? Was it him ?” The idea her ex-husband had made this strong, beautiful woman feel inadequate and weak filled Beckett with rage.
Before she could answer, there was a knock at the door, followed by a voice he really didn’t want to hear. “It’s Gray. I’m looking for Sydney.” A pause. “Let me in.”