Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Sydney froze. Why in the hell was Gray looking for her in Beckett’s bungalow? And why’d she feel like her dad was about to barge in and catch her with a guy in her bed, just like when she was eighteen?
“One second,” Beckett called out, scrambling to snatch his linen pants from where he must’ve tossed them before his first shower last night.
Sydney eyed her dress on the floor and decided it would take entirely too long to put on. She considered hiding in the outdoor shower, but that didn’t feel like the right thing to do.
Gray’s just a friend now. My team leader. It’ll be fine.
Beckett tossed her his linen shirt as if sensing her dilemma, then started for the bathroom while she fumbled with the buttons, knowing she was lying to herself and that things would, in fact, not be fine.
“Here,” Beckett mouthed, handing over the panties she’d discarded near the outdoor shower last night.
“She’s in there, isn’t she?” The strained tone of Gray’s voice had her heart sinking to the pit of her stomach.
“Am I opening up?” Beckett whispered as he spun toward her, wearing only his pants.
His attention swept over her body, stopping at her breasts. Sydney looked down to discover that the fabric was nearly sheer enough to display her nipples, and the bottom hem of his shirt covered barely enough to be decent.
She fastened the last buttons, then tightened her arms over her chest, hiding her breasts the best she could before nodding her okay.
Beckett swiped a palm over his face, then reached for the handle. “Yeah, Sydney’s in here,” he answered before opening up.
Gray’s gaze cut straight to the rumpled bedsheets before meeting her eyes with a deep frown, his lips pressed together in a hard slash. She wished what was shredding him right now was anger, but she knew him too well.
“What are you doing here?” She walked toward him, telling herself she had nothing to be ashamed of, keeping her head held high.
Gray remained still and silent, his eye twitching slightly after a few seconds. Then he faced Beckett, let go of a few quick, shallow breaths like he might throw down with him, and wordlessly turned and left.
Sydney shot Beckett an apologetic look, knowing he had to be uncomfortable as hell, and then chased after her team leader. “Gray, would you stop? Please.”
He was a few feet ahead of her, clutching his leg and walking slowly. Her heart plummeted at the sight he was hurting in more ways than one.
Why? Why do you still care about me like that?
Not too far from Beckett’s bungalow, she caught up and grabbed his arm.
“Damn it, Sydney,” he rasped, swinging around and pulling his arm free from her grasp. “For the love of God, just give me a second to process this.” He cupped his mouth, eyes focused on the ground.
“I’m sorry. I know Beckett is technically a client, and it’s an unspoken rule, but?—”
“You think that’s what I’m upset about?” He placed his hands on his hips and squared his stance. “You and I broke the rules at West Point, didn’t we?”
God, she’d just shared that bit of truth with Beckett, and now here the man was in the flesh.
“I might be a hard-ass with everyone at Falcon,” Gray continued, his deep voice thick with emotion, “but when it comes to you, I’d never tell you what to do.”
“So, what are you upset about?” But staring into his eyes, seeing a world of hurt there, how could she not know the answer?
But she needed to hear it from him, to be absolutely sure she wasn’t putting words into his mouth. She’d hoped they could be friends again when she joined Falcon, but lovers? No. She wasn’t the person he fell in love with back in college. Not even close.
Gray hung his head, his bladed jaw tightening beneath his trimmed beard.
“Why are you even here?” she repeated.
“The whole team is here.” Looking up, he slid his eyes over her shirt, his disapproval loud and clear. “Carter and the others are in the main house now.”
“Why didn’t you give us a heads-up?” You wouldn’t have found me in his bedroom if you’d bothered to call first.
“Jesse reached out just after midnight. He’s leaving Mexico with Miguel Diego and Ivy today,” he shared. “There was no point in waking you up. We needed to come get you anyway. The pilot that brought Beckett here isn’t allowed to fly to where we’re going, so that’s why we’re picking you up.”
“Oh.” She processed the new information. “Where are we going?”
“Santiago, Chile.”
“That’s unexpected. I figured they’d stay in Mexico.”
“Yeah, well.” Gray raked his hands through his hair. “Get packed. We roll out in an hour.” He turned to take off, but she couldn’t leave things like this. It’d be awkward for everyone.
“Wait, I don’t want things to be?—”
“Too late,” he hissed but quickly dropped his shoulders as if angry at himself for yelling. The man looked beaten. Deflated. Like he’d been kicked while already down.
And I did that to you.
“I don’t want to do this here, Syd. I can’t do this here.”
“Do what?” She wasn’t sure she could handle any more emotional hits after Seth’s marriage announcement. “Gray, we were together a long time ago.” She couldn’t beat around the bush, and she needed to clear the air. They’d all need to work together, keep things professional and focused.
Gray tipped his head to the side, studying her mouth as if remembering the way she’d tasted. “I’ve spent twenty years searching for someone I could love as much as I loved you. Twenty years wasted. Because there’s no replacing you. You get that, right? I’ve spent my life hoping our paths would cross again, and we’d get another chance.”
“Gray.” She reached out, her heart breaking for him, but he flinched and stepped back.
He tossed both hands in the air, a request to keep her distance. “Did you know about my accident when it happened?” Where was this coming from? Shit, just how much had this man kept bottled up inside?
“I knew, yes.” She thought back to the day she’d learned Gray’s helo had crashed, remembering the phone call from her friend in Military Intelligence who knew she and Gray had dated in college.
“There’s been an accident, ” Michelle had told her. “Gray survived, but they had to amputate part of his leg.”
“I visited you,” Sydney confessed. “I stayed until I knew you were in the clear. I visited when your parents, sister, and friends weren’t in the room.”
He closed his eyes and lifted his chin toward the blue sky overhead, unobstructed by trees on the open walkway.
After a few painfully quiet seconds passed, he tossed out, “Your ex was a moron for cheating on you. The stupid son of a bitch threw you away. How could he not see who was right in front of him? Who he had?” Gray worked his eyes back to hers.
“Wait . . .” How do you know? Who told him about Seth’s cheating?
When Gray abruptly shifted his gaze over her shoulder, she turned to see Beckett disappearing into the bungalow. How much had he heard?
She spun back around as Gray dropped a string of curses under his breath. “I’m not supposed to know about Seth’s affair.”
“No, you’re not.” So how in the hell was it possible? It wasn’t like Gray was teeing off with her dad on Sundays, and her dad spilled the news. And Mya would never betray her.
“Seth,” he dropped the bomb on her. “I ran into him at the Pentagon when I was visiting my dad.”
Right, Gray’s father was the Secretary of Defense now. But still . . .
“Seth recognized me and stopped me in the hall,” he explained. “Apparently, he took it upon himself to do background checks on all the guys at Falcon when you joined the team.”
“And he told you we got divorced because he cheated?” How the hell did something like that come up in conversation?
“Honestly, he just kind of spilled it during the course of threatening me to stay away from you.”
“He threatened you?” This wasn’t the Seth she knew. Seth didn’t give a damn about her. He’d repeatedly said she wasn’t enough for him. That was his reason for cheating. And now he was marrying Alice, so why would he care who Sydney dated?
“He said to keep my hands off you.” He let go of a gruff breath. “I’m guessing you told him we dated at West Point.”
She must have mentioned it at some point, but it wasn’t recently. “I’m still just . . .” In shock.
“And before you ask, no, I didn’t hit him. I was at the Pentagon, and they frown upon that kind of behavior, especially from Admiral Chandler’s son.” He held his palms in the air. “But did I want to?” He leaned in a bit closer. “Hell yes, I did.”
Sydney did her best to swallow the news. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything,” he responded, his tone a touch defeated again. “Just pack. We leave for Santiago in an hour.” And this time, when he turned, she let him go.
She covered her eyes with her hand, willing away the tears. She thought she was all cried out after her call with Levi yesterday.
“Sydney.” Her hand fell at the sound of Mya’s voice, and she peered over to see Mya on her porch waiting for her.
Sydney chanced a look at Beckett’s bungalow, knowing they needed to talk, but where to begin? First, though, she needed a few minutes to pull herself together.
As soon as Mya shut the door behind them, she spun around and set her hands on Sydney’s shoulders. “I couldn’t help but overhear some of that. Are you okay? And are you wearing Beckett’s shirt? What happened?”
Sydney eased away from her friend and sat on the bed. She pinned her knees together and cradled her head in her hands, elbows on her thighs.
“You weren’t in your bungalow, so Gray stopped by searching for you. I’m sorry. If I had known, I would have distracted him,” Mya rambled.
Sydney tore her hands through her bedhead hair and sat in silence while Mya waited for her to speak.
“In answer to your question about what happened . . . I slept with Beckett last night. Also, Gray informed me that he ran into Seth at the Pentagon a while back and, while threatening Gray to keep his hands off me, told him we got divorced because he cheated. Oh, and to top it off, Gray still has feelings for me. Serious from the sounds of it,” Sydney finally revealed, her voice breaking.
“Well, for once in my life, I’m almost speechless. And, um, did Beckett hear any of that? And how do you feel about Beckett? And Gray?”
“I don’t know if Beckett heard anything. God, I hope not.” Sydney sighed before continuing, “I care about Gray, of course, but only as a friend and teammate.” How will we work together after this? “Beckett, though, I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to him. I wasn’t really thinking last night.”
“Sometimes the best things happen when we just let go and stop thinking.”
“That from the book?”
“I think it’s a common expression.” Mya shrugged. “Are you going to be okay? Will this be weird now? Beckett and Gray together on Carter’s jet?”
“Gray already told you about Chile?” she asked, ignoring Mya’s question.
And yeah, the flight would be awkward and uncomfortable for all of them. Not to mention they’d be working together to find Beckett’s ex.
What the hell? There’s complicated, and then there’s this.
“Yeah, when he came looking for you. He told me the team had arrived and if I was still interested in joining Falcon, at least for this mission, to hurry and get dressed. I need to call Mason and tell him what happened before we head out.” She lifted a hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll stick to the story involving my source. Nothing about Beckett.”
Sydney had nearly forgotten about Mason. If Mya didn’t return home when expected, he’d swoop down there immediately. “How do you think he’ll take the news that you’re working this op with us?”
Mya frowned. “Not well. He’ll want to help, but I think that’s one too many cooks in the kitchen, and I’m betting Carter will say no anyway.”
That he would.
“Maybe I’ll talk to Martín before we leave. See if he’d be open to Mason and his teammates coming to assist in taking down the cartel’s human trafficking operation.” Mya jumped at the sound of a sharp knock on the door. “But I won’t tell Mason where we’re going. He won’t be able to resist showing up.”
“It’s us,” Oliver announced.
“Why do I get the feeling a Mason-Oliver confrontation would be almost as awkward as . . .”
“Gray and Beckett?” Mya whispered. “It shouldn’t be. But who knows with men,” she grumbled before opening the door.
Sydney stood when she spotted Beckett and felt her cheeks blush. He was dressed in jeans and a black tee, hands in his pockets, hanging back with their other teammate, Jack.
“Hey.” Jack sounded uneasy, obviously sensing the thicker-than-thick tension in the group. Not that Gray would’ve told him what had gone down.
But shit, I’m still in Beckett’s shirt. She quickly folded her arms across her chest. “What’s wrong?” She looked at Beckett, his face drained of color. Something far more serious than what he overheard her and Gray talking about had happened.
“Liam’s wife called Gray because she couldn’t reach Beckett,” Jack shared. “She’s who helped Beckett track Ivy to Mexico.”
Right, I remember. And Emily couldn’t reach Beckett because his phone died after their swim in the river.
“Emily insisted on speaking to Beckett, so I brought the phone to him a few minutes ago,” Jack went on, standing alongside Oliver now while Mya remained on the porch.
“She and her daughter, Elaina, are at the airport about to catch a flight to Santiago. They’ll arrive there late tonight,” Beckett shared, his voice rough with worry. “Elaina woke Emily up at four a.m. and insisted they go to Chile. That it was a matter of life and death. Emily said she’s never seen Elaina so shaken up. She didn’t know what to do, and . . .” He shook his head as if still processing the news. “Elaina’s a genius, a prodigy, and she has visions. I’m not sure. I was at their house last week, and she accidentally bumped into me in the hallway. Apparently, it caused her to see something. About me. Or Cora. I—I don’t know the details.”
“And Emily agreed?” Mya snapped her fingers. “Like that?”
“You don’t understand. When Elaina sets her mind to something, if she thinks someone is in danger, there’s no stopping her.” Beckett palmed his jawline, his gaze on the trail. “Emily’s parents rushed over to babysit Jackson, Elaina’s little brother.”
“There’s no way Elaina would know we’re headed to Chile unless she really can see things, right?” Oliver asked.
“I don’t see how,” Beckett responded. “Liam’s overseas, so Emily left him a message about what’s going on.” Guilt clung to his every word. “Fuck,” he said, dragging both hands through his hair now. “It’s bad enough that I put Jesse in danger, but now a twelve-year-old and her mom are caught up in this.”
Sydney looked beyond their group and saw Martín and Valentina headed their way alongside Carter.
“I just got a call from Liam Evans,” Carter announced. “He’s stepping away from his current assignment and catching the next flight to Chile. He’ll meet us there.”
Valentina stopped before Sydney. Their lighthearted hostess, who just last night would have winked and commented about Sydney’s lack of clothing, was gone. In her place stood a woman who looked as though she was bearing terrible news.
“What is it?” Sydney peered at her boss for answers, but Carter tipped his head, deferring to Martín.
“The man your friend, Jesse, is going to see in Chile is a billionaire businessman. An eccentric man but . . .” Martín was quiet for a moment, his hands going into his pockets. “He’s dangerous.”
“And around these parts, he’s known by another name,” Valentina said, her eyes meeting Sydney’s. “He’s known as El Vigilado .”
Sydney translated the words in her head before whispering them aloud, “The Guarded One?”