Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
WILL
I offer to wrangle the kids for Sophie while she goes to the counter to order. We’re at their favourite hot chocolate spot, a charming space only a five-minute walk from the playground. The air is heavy with the smell of melted chocolate, coffee, and cinnamon; the place is packed, but we got lucky and snagged the last remaining booth.
Gwen settles herself next to me while Heather decides to sit facing her. I hold Julian upright, letting him push himself on my thighs with his little feet. Gwen leans against the thick wooden table and sways back and forth. Her eyes keep alternating between me and Julian.
“Why did you stop coming to see us before?” she asks. I keep my face casual, but her question throws me. “And why are you back now?”
Geez, this kid sure is direct.
“Well,” I begin, trying to think of what would be appropriate to say without throwing her father under the bus. I don’t want to straight up lie, either. “Your mom wasn’t very happy with me before.”
“Why?” Heather pipes up.
“Yeah, why?” Gwen joins.
I take a deep breath and sigh. “Have you ever wanted to say something to someone, only they didn’t understand what you meant?”
“It happens all the time.” Gwen nods along. “Not as much now for me, but for Heather, yes. She can’t say as many words as me, so sometimes I have to guess.”
“Okay, well, that’s a bit like what happened with your mom and me. We had a misunderstanding.”
Gwen frowns. “Oh. What about?”
“That’s not important,” I tell her. “But you know what is?” I lean in closer to her and look at Heather to make sure she feels included.
“What?” Gwen says with curiosity, almost in a whisper. Her eyes are full of sparkle.
“What’s important is that I care about you girls and your mama, a whole lot,” I say, keeping my voice low. “And when you care about someone, you don’t let something as silly as a few misunderstandings keep you apart.”
Gwen looks up at me with big eyes. She looks so much like her mom right now. Then, she leans in for a hug. My heart melts just a bit. I return the hug by wrapping my arms around her tiny back. “I care about you, too,” she says against my chest. This kid is threatening to turn me into a puddle. Then she looks up at me and frowns. “So, do you love Mommy?”
My heart skips a beat. I’m not ready to answer that question myself, let alone to a little kid. “I love all four of you,” I manage to say. “Kind of like an uncle would.”
“Oh.” A look of disappointment haunts Gwen’s face. She backs away from me.
Shit. I’ve said the wrong thing. “What’s wrong?” I ask, a bit taken aback.
She sighs deeply. Too deeply for a kid her age. “I think Mommy would be happy with a boyfriend. She looks sad sometimes.” Her words are like fingers wrenching my heart.
I’m about to respond, but I see Sophie from the corner of my eye, holding a tray with three steaming mugs and an empty glass. Both Gwen and Heather’s faces light up, our previous conversation entirely forgotten, I’m sure. Sophie deposits the tray on the table and sits next to Heather.
“What were you guys talking about?” Sophie asks with a smirk while she pours a bit of hot chocolate from one mug into the empty glass. The hot chocolate is thick and looks absolutely delicious. But my focus is on Sophie, which is why I don’t miss when she looks straight into my eyes. “You’re blushing.”
Shit.
I straighten up and frown. “I’m just a bit hot,” I lie, proceeding to remove my jacket. Smooth.
Sophie raises her eyebrows skeptically. “Okay …” She hands the mug that is now only two-thirds full to Gwen, then helps Heather take a sip from the glass. “Yours is that one,” she says while pointing to the red mug on the tray.
The hot chocolate truly is amazing, and I’m kicking myself for not discovering this place before. But what’s even more amazing is how it feels to be here with Sophie and her family. It feels easy, natural. I’ve spent time with their family before, of course—back before Julian was born—but it wasn’t quite the same when Matt was there. Plus, Sophie didn’t allow herself to be quite as open as she is now. She wouldn’t have laughed out loud like she’s doing now in response to one of Gwen’s jokes.
The thought of Matt triggers a budding fit of anger, but it’s immediately nipped by the glint in Sophie’s eyes, directed straight at me.
Her hand is on the table, extended toward the centre. It’s almost as if she’s beckoning me to grab it. Hoping I haven’t misread the signals, I drop my hand on hers. Her skin is so soft I have to fight the urge to push everything off this table and pull her entire body onto it.
Fuck, I want to kiss her so badly. Her plump pink lips are parted, and she’s leaning towards the table slightly, those eyes of hers wide in surprise, her cheeks flushed. She’s staring at my lips. I stroke the centre of her palm with my thumb. A shiver runs through her arms, and her lips twitch.
But I can’t. Not here. Not in front of the kids. Despite how much her eyes are signalling me to move forward and cup her face to bring it close to mine, I can’t take the risk that I’m reading this wrong. If I make that mistake, in front of the kids on top of that, Sophie will never forgive me. She’ll be left with too many questions to answer from them, and it will be my fault.
Begrudgingly, I back away and let go of her stupidly soft hand. A look of disappointment passes through her blue eyes right before she looks down at her lap. Fuck .
I don’t think I misread the signal at all.
Dread settles itself in a small corner of my chest. She’s starting to detect this insatiable attraction I feel for her, and it’s very possible I’ve just screwed up my chance.
I need to let her know this isn’t over.
“Tonight, I’m making you girls dinner,” I declare, gazing at Gwen and Heather to distract myself from Sophie’s disappointed eyes.
No. I have to stop running.
I look at her again. “Would you like that?” I ask, keeping my voice as soft as possible.
For a moment, she’s silent, and I can’t read her expression. Finally, she sighs and smiles softly. “If you’re up for the challenge.”
A spark of lightning passes through me. I am up for the challenge. Tonight, I’m showing Sophie exactly what I want.