Chapter 20 Connor #2
“I get it,” he finally says. “I’m trying to respect your boundaries.
” The tone of his voice gives me pause as a wicked grin grows on his lips, and I wait to hear the rest of his sentence.
“But I’m not afraid to fight for what I want, especially because I know you want it, too.
” Turning in his seat to fully face me, he adds, “Nor would I mind being a dirty little secret…as long as I was your secret.”
Jesus fucking Christ.
Knowing I need a subject change because letting that hang in the air will suffocate me, I decide to take advantage of this unexpected moment of privacy to learn more about Vox the man and not just Vox the boarder.
Pointing to his hair, I ask, “Why purple?” He shrugs nonchalantly, but immediately starts pulling at a string on his pants, telling me he has a reason, he’s just not sharing it. “I won’t tell,” I prod, now even more curious.
“You ever seen the color of a purple sky reflected across a snowy mountaintop?”
“Once or twice,” I answer honestly.
“It’s my favorite thing Mother Nature has ever shown me. Ironically, the last time I saw the peaks coated in purple was the morning before my dad left.”
I’m totally caught off guard by the emotional depth in his statement. Most would see the color and think punk or showoff, but here, he’s just paying homage to the most powerful force in the universe and the deepest pain he carries all in one fell swoop.
My heart constricts in my chest, and I’m more confident than ever that I’m making the right move by bringing him out here.
I keep my hands to myself for the rest of the drive. I also keep my thoughts to myself because not a single thing that will come out of my mouth is going to help this situation.
When we pull into Sam and Louisa’s neighborhood, Vox looks confused as hell.
“Am I about to meet your parents?” he asks, making me laugh.
“No. They aren’t local, and I’m not that close with them,” I tell him.
“Okay, so whose house is this?”
“I want to introduce you to someone who can answer all your questions. I just ask that anything you learn during this visit stays between us.”
“Yeah, of course,” he answers quickly.
Studying his perfect face, I openly beg him so that he understands how important this is.
“I mean it, Vox. This visit doesn’t just impact me. But I want you to know the truth, and…well, he’s important to me.”
Misunderstanding my words, Vox’s brows shoot to his hairline.
“Am I…am I meeting your…are you with someone?”
“What?” I shriek. “No!”
Relief floods his features as he sags back against his seat.
“Ohmygod, dude. Don’t do that to me. Either tell me who I’m meeting or just let me get out of the fucking car.”
I point toward his door handle before reaching for my own. “Go.”
Sam opens the door before I can even ring the bell. Laughing, he says, “I thought you were going to sit out there all day. Your tea’s getting cold.”
I shake his hand and step to the side for introductions.
“Vox, this is Sam Everhardt. Sam, Vox Montgomery.”
Vox sticks his hand out. “It’s, um, a pleasure to meet you, sir,” he says with uncertainty.
Sam shakes Vox’s hand. “Pleasure’s all mine. I hear you’re quite the celebrity up in Ricochet.”
Vox smiles, his natural charisma rising to the surface at the compliment.
“Yes, sir. That’s what I’m told, at least.”
“Well, come on in. This is my wife, Louisa,” he says, right as I release Louisa from an embrace.
“Vox, honey, it’s so nice to meet you,” she says, clasping Vox’s hand with both of hers. “Connor speaks quite highly of you.”
Vox flashes a cocksure grin at me. “Does he now?”
Louisa laughs. “Oops. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.” I wave her off, telling her it’s fine. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like to drink, so please feel free to help yourself. I’ve got hot water for tea, and there’s coffee, water, as well as some sodas in the fridge.”
“I’m okay for now, thank you,” Vox answers, looking back and forth between Sam and me expectantly, clearly wondering what the hell we’re doing here and who these people are.
Sam looks at me and laughs.
“I take it you didn’t tell him who I am?”
I feel the heat of embarrassment creep up my neck.
“You know I can’t.”
Sam laughs again. “You’re such a rule follower, Lang.” Before I can be offended, he adds, “It’s part of your charm. That heart of gold of yours is hard to resist.”
To my left, Vox shifts on the couch.
“I figured I’m not allowed to tell anyone the story, but maybe you could? Like if you and I talk and Vox happens to overhear it, then…well…somehow that’s different?
Sam shakes his head. “I’m certainly not going to rat you out for telling, and I don’t get the feeling Vox here would either, am I right?”
“Yes, sir. I won’t say anything. I just want to know what’s going on.”
“Well, settle in and let me tell you a story,” Sam starts as Vox shifts once more.
I bring my hot mug to my lips just for something to do, and Louisa squeezes my shoulder, sensing my discomfort.
“Five years ago, my wife and I were skiing our last run of the day. We were making our way back down the mountain over at Sapphire Butte. You ever snowboard over there?” Sam interrupts the story to ask Vox.
“Oh, uh, no, sir.” Laughing, Vox adds, “I have to pay to use their lifts. It’s free at Ricochet, so I mostly stay there.”
“Smart kid. Anyway,” Sam continues, “Louisa and I were coming down the mountain in the late afternoon, along with the other all-day skiers, when out of nowhere a man who was clearly three sheets to the wind came flying past me. I barely got out of his way in time.”
Vox’s eyes dart to me in horror and disgust.
Louisa sees his look at the same time and corrects his line of thinking. “No, Vox, Connor wasn’t the drunk man.”
Sam resumes quickly. “When he cut me off at that speed, the drunk man put himself directly in Connor’s path.
Came up on him from behind, but suddenly passed in front of him.
Connor had less than a second to react to avoid colliding with him…
so he went airborne, whipping his board to the side to initiate an immediate change in direction, trying to buy the man time to get out of the way. ”
I release a shaky exhale, and Louisa grabs my hand from her spot on the loveseat next to me. “I know it’s hard to hear,” she whispers. “But you know how the story ends, Connor. Sam and I are doing just fine.”
I simply nod and squeeze her hand, too choked up to speak.
This is actually way harder than I’d anticipated.
“What happened?” Vox asks impatiently.
“Connor processed everything so fast. He missed the drunk man, who he would have undoubtedly killed if they’d hit.
And when Connor saw that he was headed right for me, he had so much control he was able to angle his board at the last second to avoid clipping my neck.
” Vox stays silent as Sam pauses for a brief second.
“His board edge did, however, come down on my spine, snapping it and paralyzing me instantly.”
“Ohmygod,” Vox says, his hand flying to his mouth as he stares at Sam.
We all give him a moment to process our trauma from that night.
But a second later, Vox’s attention is on me.
“Christ, Connor! I’m so fu—” His eyes dart to Louisa, and he censors his statement.
“I’m so sorry! I had no idea you went through that!
It wasn’t on the news, or I would’ve heard about it.
No wonder you couldn’t get on a board for so long.
” I can tell when he connects the rest of the dots because his eyes grow wider.
“That’s why you make me board in front of you, isn’t it? ”
Swallowing hard, I nod.
“Despite our many protestations, Connor still thinks this is all his fault. He spends too much time thinking about the wrong outcome. Yes, his board struck me, but had he not reacted as quickly as he had, someone would’ve died that night. And it could’ve been him as easily as me.”
Vox lets out a tiny gasp, and his eyes pinch in…pain?
Something in me is healing in this room where my darkest sins are being exposed, in front of the man I committed them against, as well as the man I want to let in.
And that’s just it.
I want Vox to know me, the real me, all of me.
And I’m tired of fighting it. But now my bigger concern is trying to figure out what I’m willing to risk everything for.
One night? Vox already said he doesn’t do relationships.
Is it worth putting everything on the line for the breadcrumbs he’s offering, knowing we can’t ever be more than a clandestine secret in the dark?