Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
NICO
My phone vibrated insistently on my nightstand, startling me out of a deep sleep. I fumbled blindly in the dark, my hand finally landing on it. I squinted at the screen and saw that it was Miguel. I sat bolt upright and quickly swiped to answer it. The first thing I heard was Cody sobbing hysterically in the background. “Miguel. What’s wrong? Is Cody hurt?”
“Nico,” Miguel said, relief evident in his voice. “Thank god. Cody’s not hurt. Not physically, anyway.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
Miguel sighed. “Sorry. He woke up early to open presents. We let him because it’s his first Christmas without his mom.”
I was getting more confused by the second, and the sound of my son screaming made me want to jump out of my skin. My voice was probably harsher than it should have been. “So, what happened?”
“Apparently, last Christmas, Allie gave him a special present that was from her instead of Santa. When there was no present from Allie, he lost it.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Shit.”
“Yep. He’s been going between screaming for his mom and screaming for you.”
I thought over what would be the best options. “Can you bring him over here?”
He let out a relieved sigh. “Yeah. We thought that it would be better than you coming here. A new place might distract him, and he’ll get to see your massive tree all lit up with presents underneath it.”
I was already out of bed. “All right. I’ll get Gabe up. We’ll be ready by the time you get here.”
“With coffee?” he asked plaintively.
“Definitely.”
“Thanks. We’ll see you soon.”
I went to my dresser and got out a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt. Once I was dressed, I slipped my phone into my pocket and went across the hall. I knocked on Gabe’s door and called out, “Gabe, I need your help.”
I heard movement on the other side, and a moment later, his door swung open. Gabe appeared to be wide awake when he asked, “What’s wrong?”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Gabe wore nothing but a pair of snug-fitting black boxer briefs, and my brain temporarily stopped working.
His head tilted to the side. “Nico?”
Shit . “Cody’s having a meltdown. Zach and Miguel are bringing him here.”
“What happened?”
I repeated what Miguel had told me while Gabe got dressed. “It’s his first Christmas without his mom. He’s asking for me.”
His eyes filled with sadness. “Poor little guy. Let’s go light up a Christmas tree.”
I took care of getting the tree lit and the presents arranged while Gabe got the coffee brewing.
While I was straightening out the garland on the tree, I saw Zach’s car pull up in front of the house. I hurried into the foyer to unlock the door. A cold blast of icy air hit me when I opened it to let them in. Zach was carrying Cody, who was wearing his brand-new Batman Christmas pajamas under his Batman coat. Tiny Batman slippers covered his bare feet. My son’s face was blotchy from crying. Tendrils of his curly dark hair were plastered to his still-sweaty forehead. I held out my arms. “Come here, baby boy.”
Tears welled in his eyes as he reached for me. “Daddy,” he sobbed.
I took him in my arms and held him close. “Come on in,” I said to Zach and Miguel. “Gabe’s got the coffee going.”
I took Cody into the living room while Zach and Miguel made a beeline for the kitchen. They both looked like they’d been in a combat zone. It was the first time I’d seen Miguel out of his apartment with no makeup and his hair a mess. Zach looked like he hadn’t slept in days. I felt bad and hoped I could make it up to them.
I got Cody’s coat off and sat on the sofa facing the Christmas tree. He was crying softly now, rubbing his damp face on my shirt. “I want Mommy.”
My heart broke for my little boy. “I know, sweetheart. I miss her too.” I held Cody and rocked him as he wept. I wanted to shield him from every hurt the world could throw at him, but I couldn’t. I could only be a soft place for him to come to when he was hurting.
The other adults drifted in, clutching their mugs of coffee. Gabe set one for me on the side table. “Thanks,” I said.
I sat with Cody while conversation flowed around us. I was so grateful my son felt he could cling to me even though I’d only been in his life for a short time. Eventually, he settled down and started to look around the room. He hadn’t seen the Christmas tree yet because we’d wanted to surprise him. “Daddy, that’s a huge Christmas tree.”
“It sure is,” I replied. “And Santa left some presents for you here.”
His eyes got big. “He did?”
“Of course. Mr. Gabe and I made sure to let him know he needed to stop here too.”
Cody wiped his face with his sleeve. “Can I open them?”
I rose with him in my arms. “Absolutely.” I set him in front of the brightly lit tree while Gabe hunkered down to pull the gifts out from under the tree.
The big man gleefully rubbed his hands together. “Present time!” He set Cody’s gifts in front of him. “Go ahead and open them.”
I sat next to Gabe and watched my son open the gifts we’d gotten him. Most of it was Batman- or Lightning McQueen-related, but Gabe had also bought him a tiny Navy SEAL hoodie, and I’d picked up a kid’s tool belt and plastic tools like the ones Amir had let him use when he was at our house.
I’d also gotten gifts for Zach and Miguel because I’d never be able to thank them enough for taking care of Cody when I couldn’t. I’d given them a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant and an offer for me to take Cody overnight so they could enjoy themselves and not worry about when they had to be home. They also wouldn’t have to worry about being quiet. After I finished my last parenting class, I talked to the social worker to ask if I could start taking Cody overnight, and she approved it.
When I handed Gabe his gift, he seemed surprised and pleased. I wasn’t sure, but I thought I caught a bit of blush on his cheeks. It was cute. How the hell a six-foot-four ex-Navy SEAL could look cute was a mystery to me.
“Thanks, Nico. You didn’t have to get me anything.”
I rolled my eyes. “Are you going to pretend you didn’t get me something?”
He grinned sheepishly. “Well, no. But still…”
I waved him off. “None of that double standard sh…nonsense. Open your present.”
“Good catch,” Zach murmured.
Gabe opened his gift and snorted with laughter as he pulled out a plush coffee cup with two little feet dangling off it. “Very funny.” He tossed it at me, and I caught it and sent it back his way.
“You’re supposed to throw it away when I’m not looking,” I snarked.
Gabe held the little plushie close. “No way. It’s mine now.” He pulled out the second part of his gift—a wooden coffee bar bin to hold his collection of sugars and other coffee-related paraphernalia. “Wow, this is really nice. Thank you.” He slid my gifts toward me. “Now open yours.”
In the first box was a magnetic wristband for holding tools and screws when I was working on an electrical job. I’d had one before, but it had gotten lost in the shuffle of Damian trying to save as much of my stuff as he could. “Thanks, Gabe. This is great.” The second box held a very Gabe-like gift. A large coffee mug that read Electrician: Someone who fixes shit you can’t .
I laughed. “I love it. This is great.”
Miguel got a large garbage bag from the kitchen and started gathering the discarded wrapping paper. I put my mug back in its box until I could get it safely into the kitchen to wash. Cody was happily playing with his tool belt and had insisted on wearing the Navy SEAL hoodie.
I stood and said, “I’m going to get breakfast started.”
“We can help,” Zach said.
Gabe started toward the kitchen. “Let’s go. The more people working, the sooner we eat.”
The four of us made quick work of getting bacon, eggs, and pancakes on the table. Gabe made more coffee, and I made hot chocolate as a special treat for Cody. While we were working, I said to Zach, “I’m really sorry your Christmas started out the way it did.”
He smiled sadly. “Thanks. We thought maybe something like this would happen, but I didn’t know about the special present from Allie. I don’t even know how he remembers that from when he was three.”
I shook my head. “Kids remember the strangest things.”
Once the food was ready, we set the table while Gabe went to bring Cody in. We heard growls and giggles echo down the hallway, followed by stomping footsteps. Shortly afterward, Gabe appeared in the doorway, flying Cody like an airplane, making the appropriate airplane noises. He landed my still-giggling son on one of the chairs. Unfortunately, Cody was a bit too short for the chair, so I ran into the living room to get a couple of throw pillows for him to sit on.
To my surprise, the area around the Christmas tree wasn’t a disaster of toys strewn everywhere. The plastic tools were on the floor, but the only other toy out was a plush Batman doll Gabe and I had gotten Cody. On impulse, I picked it up and brought it to the kitchen along with the pillows.
“Daddy, I’m too short,” Cody called out when I entered the kitchen.
I held up the pillows. “I got you, buddy.”
Gabe picked him up so I could put the pillows on the chair. “We should get a booster seat for the house.”
I nodded. “Good idea.” When Cody was settled, I handed him the Batman plushie. “I thought he might be lonely out there by himself.”
Cody took the toy from me and cuddled him close. “Batman was sad.”
Zach set a small stack of pancakes in front of Cody. “Why was he sad?”
His bottom lip quivered. “He misses his mommy and daddy.”
I sat in the chair next to my son. “Just like you miss your mommy.”
A tear slid down Cody’s cheek and my heart broke all over again. He wiped his face with his sleeve. “I should bring him to talk to Miss Stephanie.”
“That’s a great idea,” Zach said. “We’ll call her to see when you can go, okay.”
Cody nodded. “Okay.”
“Who’s Miss Stephanie?” Gabe asked me quietly.
“His therapist,” I murmured.
He shook his head. “Well, damn. Sometimes kids are smarter than adults.”
I gave a noncommittal shrug. Easy for kids. Not so easy for me.
We all dug into breakfast, which included many more cups of coffee. I helped Cody cut his pancakes and tried my best to limit the amount of syrup he poured on them. I worked hard to keep him occupied so Zach and Miguel could get a break. I began to wonder if I’d ever be ready to take on parenting full-time.
Zach leaned back and rubbed his full stomach. “That was delicious. I’m stuffed. It’s a good thing we’re not going to Miguel’s sister’s place until this afternoon. It’ll give me time to digest.”
“What time are you supposed to be there?” I asked.
“Somewhere between one and two,” Miguel replied. “But we’ll have to leave soon because Cody needs a bath, and Zach and I need showers.”
I felt a pang of disappointment. I’d hoped to spend more time with Cody. “Oh. Okay.”
“I don’t want to leave,” Cody whined. “I want to stay with Daddy.”
Miguel’s brow furrowed. “Don’t you want to see Diego and Sophia?”
Cody threw his fork on the floor. His eyes filled with tears. “No! I want to stay with Daddy!”
He arched his back, causing the pillows beneath him to shift. I caught him as he slid sideways off the chair. I set him on my lap and held him. “Hey there, settle down. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I want to stay with you, Daddy,” he sobbed. “I want to stay with you.”
I looked around helplessly at the three men at the table. Cody’s body was shaking with sobs. I knew what I wanted to do, but I felt like I wasn’t in a position to make demands.
Gabe stood and said, “Hold on. I’ll be right back,” and disappeared down the hall. He returned a short time later holding a small whiteboard and a dry-erase marker. On it, he had written Do you want Cody to stay? He showed it to me. I nodded.
He erased that question with a napkin and wrote, Are you ok with Cody staying here? And showed it to Zach and Miguel.
The pair shared a look and appeared to have a silent conversation. Finally, Zach said, “Diego and Sophia will be disappointed, but maybe it would be better for Cody to stay here. We can always visit them on the weekend.”
A weight lifted off my shoulders. I hugged my son tighter. “Are you sure you want to stay here?” Cody nodded vigorously, his head still pressed against my chest. I kissed his silky curls. “Okay, little man, you can stay.”
He tried to snuggle even closer to me, his sobs quieting somewhat. My shirt had a wet spot where his tears had soaked through. I reached down to pick up his Batman plushie from the floor. “You want him?” Cody nodded and grabbed the toy, tucking it between his body and mine. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep after that.
Zach looked over at Gabe. “Where did you learn that whiteboard trick?”
“My sister’s house,” he replied. “I lived with her and her husband for a couple of months after I separated from the Navy. They have a son who’s a little bit younger than Cody. They started using a whiteboard when they wanted to make decisions without him freaking out. Of course it’ll only work until he can read.”
“True,” Zach replied.
“But still,” Miguel chimed in. “We could use it for now until Cody can read.”
“Which won’t be long,” Zach said ruefully. “He’s already learned a bunch of words, and he’s not even in kindergarten.”
Miguel yawned and stretched. He checked the time on his smartwatch. “We have time to nap before we have to be at Isabella’s place.” He looked over at Zach. “What do you say?”
Zach pulled him close and kissed the side of his head. “I say getting you in a bed sounds like a great idea. We’ll see about the nap.”
An idea came to me as they rose to leave. “Hey, you know my offer to take Cody overnight isn’t just a one-time thing. If you want to leave him here tonight, we can get him to preschool in the morning.”
Zach’s brow furrowed. “Are you sure? He’s been rough today.”
“All the more reason I should keep him tonight,” I replied. “You two need a break.”
“We didn’t bring a change of clothes for him,” Miguel said.
“I can come to your place and get them,” Gabe said. “It’ll only take a minute, and then you two can get to…napping.”
I stifled a laugh, not wanting to wake Cody. Miguel rolled his eyes. “Okay. That works.”
I stopped Gabe as he was about to follow them to the front door. “Thank you. I really appreciate your help.”
“Anytime,” he replied with a smile. He pointed at Cody, who was sleeping peacefully in my arms. “That right there is worth everything.”