Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
GABE
Lunch with Marco helped me settle and put things in perspective. Nico was his own man. Yes, he had trauma, but he wasn’t a delicate flower, and I needed to remember that. Marco explained how he had tried to coddle and protect Liam after he’d come home from his ordeal in Syria. It had not gone over well. I smiled because I could imagine the sassy nurse putting my six-foot-four friend in his place.
I hadn’t been home for long when the front door opened, and I heard Nico call out, “Gabe?”
“In the kitchen,” I said. Nico appeared in the doorway a few moments later. “How did it go?” I asked.
He didn’t say anything. He just walked over to me, put his arms around my waist, and his head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. “That good, huh?”
His reply was muffled by my shirt. “It wasn’t bad.” He looked up at me. “It was just a lot.” He smiled. “Teresa is awesome. She never made me feel bad for what happened to me.”
“Yeah, she’s great,” I agreed. When he continued to hold on to me, I ran my hands up and down his back. “You sure you’re okay?”
He sighed softly. “I’m okay. I just needed a hug, and it feels best from you.”
I kissed his forehead. “I’m always happy to oblige.”
He cupped my face and brushed my lips with his. “I told her what happened between us on New Year’s Eve. She helped me realize that I ignored my own limits because I was trying to rush things. I thought you’d be upset if I asked you to stop.”
I bit back all my protestations. He didn’t need me sounding defensive. “How about we make a deal? We check in with each other and say what we do and don’t want.” I kissed him lightly. “Does this mean you want to see where this goes between us?”
He nodded. “I do. I like you. A lot.”
I smiled down at him. “I like you too.”
“But,” he added, “I have to take things slow. If you know what I mean.”
“I have a pretty good idea,” I replied. “And I don’t want to push you.”
“You never do,” he insisted. “That was all on me. I wanted more.” He pulled on his bottom lip with his teeth. “I still do. I’m just not ready. Yet.”
“So we go at your pace,” I insisted. “You have stuff to work through.” I felt my lips twist into a sad smile. “I do too.”
“You do?”
I nodded. “Let’s get you some lunch first. I know you didn’t eat before you left. I can make you a sandwich or heat up some leftover pizza.”
“Pizza sounds good.”
“One or two slices?” I asked.
“Two.” He smirked. “I’ve worked up an appetite.”
I grinned. “Is that right?”
“Yeah.”
I got two slices of pizza out of the fridge and put them in the toaster oven to heat. I leaned against the counter with my arms crossed over my chest. “I loved someone once.” I put my hand over my left biceps. “He died.”
Nico’s gaze followed the movement of my hand. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks.” I sighed softly. “The fucked up part is I don’t even know if he loved me back. He wasn’t out, and he was always worried about getting caught. He was never one hundred percent with me. If you know what I mean.”
He nodded. “I get it. You weren’t his first priority.”
His simple statement hit like a dagger in my heart. It was true. I’d never been Benji’s first priority. “I never thought of it that way.”
He must have seen something in my expression because he frowned and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I insisted. “You were just pointing out the obvious.” The toaster oven beeped, and I grabbed a potholder and took out the tray. Nico got himself a plate and some napkins, and we moved our conversation over to the kitchen island, taking stools across from each other.
“What was his name?” Nico asked.
“Benji.” I smiled. “He came onto the team about a year after I did. He was smart, sarcastic, and sometimes hilarious. He was an expert marksman and a munitions specialist. He loved making things go boom.”
“I guess that was a good thing in your line of work,” he said.
“It had its uses for sure. But sometimes, he was a little reckless, which always worried me. He used to tell me not to worry. That was like telling water not to be wet.”
Nico met my gaze with a soft smile. “You’re very protective.”
“You could say that,” I replied. “I protect my own, and I protect those who can’t protect themselves.”
“I know you do.” After a pause, he asked, “Was that how he died? In an explosion?”
I shook my head. “His squad walked into an ambush after following bad intelligence. They got pinned down by gunfire. Benji took out a bunch of the enemy, but he ended up getting shot in the neck. He bled out in less than a minute.” My fists were clenched in my lap and my heart was racing. Even after five years, it could still hit me hard.
“Oh shit.” Nico put his food down, came around to where I was sitting, and wrapped his arms around me. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”
I turned so I could free my arms and return the hug. “Thanks. It was rough because I wasn’t on that mission. Marco was, but he was wounded and couldn’t tell me anything. I almost got myself thrown in the brig for shouting at my commanding officer.”
“That just sucks all the way around.”
“It really did.” I tightened my arms around him. It felt so good holding him. It made me feel calmer. I kissed the top of his head. “You’re kinda great, you know.”
He looked up at me. “You think so?”
I kissed him. “I know so.” Nico slipped his hand behind my neck to deepen the kiss. I slid off my stool so I could pull him closer. I carefully kept my hands above his waist, not wanting to trigger another flashback. I felt his hard cock pressing against my thigh, and I wanted so badly to grind into him.
He finally pulled away and chuckled softly. “I really like kissing you. Probably too much at this stage. Because once I start, I don’t want to stop.”
“Same,” I said hoarsely. I reluctantly let go of him with one last kiss. “Finish your lunch.”
He went back to his pizza. He picked up his slice and asked, “What about you? Did you have lunch already?”
“I went to lunch with Marco.”
“Oh. Okay. You don’t have to hang around with me if you have something else to do.”
I kissed his cheek. I couldn’t help it. Sue me. “I like hanging out with you. You’re fun to talk to.”
He smiled shyly. “Same.”
I went to the refrigerator to see what I had to make for dinner. As I searched the meager offerings, an idea came to me. I turned to Nico. “I want to take you out to dinner.”
He paused with his slice of pizza halfway to his mouth. “Sort of like a date?”
“Exactly like a date.”
A blush crept into his cheeks. “Really?”
“Really. I want to do this right. I want to get to know you. I want you to feel comfortable with me. I like you, and I want this to work. I don’t want to mess it up.”
Nico swallowed hard. “I like you too. And you’re okay with going slow?”
I nodded. “I am.” I grinned. “There’s so much fun to be had that doesn’t include sex.”
“Okay.” A slow smile curved his lips and lit up his eyes. “I have a feeling dating you is going to be an adventure.”