Sixteen
When the day of the family BBQ arrived, both Nixon and I started the preparations as soon as we woke up. I began to bring down the boxes of decorations that my mother stored for special occasions from the attic.
I did hope to get some help from my sisters but Chrissy, who had only been back home for a couple of days asked if she could stay at her friend Daniella’s. I couldn’t really say anything as Mattie had already agreed to it. My brother did explain that he and Amy were now on speaking terms after the shock of him and Alex. He was rather tight-lipped when speaking about it and was obviously still embarrassed. Under the circumstances, he didn’t invite Alex to the BBQ.
Speaking of Amy, she seemed to be hiding at the stables all the time; keeping her head down. Was she avoiding me on purpose?
Nixon and Mason had an appointment during the week to view one of the stallions which the owners of Kiplings were selling, and he mentioned that he’d seen her there. He also added that there was something going on between her and Mason and that we should just keep out of it. I had to agree with that. All I’d had from Amy recently was a text to ask if I wanted to go clubbing after the weekend. I didn’t reply as I hadn’t the time. Too much decorating to be done. I also didn’t think Nixon would be happy with that.
I was in the process of wrapping fairy lights around the top part of the fence of Vicky’s paddock when Tyler Proctor appeared with a handful of mail. Tyler and his twin brother Jonathan were neighbours of ours. My father had always encouraged us to befriend them. He had an ulterior motive in that he wanted to buy their mother’s land and house. It sat in a nook at the bottom of one of our main crop fields and would have been perfect for barn space. My father also wanted to build a unit there where he could store more fertiliser .
But the truth of the matter was, they were odd and extremely socially awkward.
“Wow, you having a party?” Tyler said, giving me a toothless smile. I wondered if he’d had them knocked out or had been born without them.
I gathered the rest of the lights up and balanced them on top of the fence before turning to greet him. I was polite and nice at the end of the day; I wasn’t about to be rude for no reason.
“Yes, tonight,” I confirmed, wiping my hands down the apron I wore over my dress.
He nodded and glanced around the area, “Mum sent this over. You’re post came to us again,” he said, handing me some letters. I took them and thanked him.
“You should have called the house phone. We’d have come and collected them.”
Tyler wasn’t listening, he was looking past me up towards the garden where the rest of the preparations were taking place. Mattie was in the process of filling the old bathtub with ice for the bottled beers.
“Me and Jonathan love parties,” Tyler said, his grin becoming even meatier. Talk about being put on the spot. I wasn’t sure what to do. He was itching for an invite. He blatantly didn’t have anywhere else to be at that moment.
I was stuck, “Well, why don’t you come? You and Jonathan?” I offered with a tight smile that possibly didn’t quite reach my eyes.
His face ignited, and he looked so pleased. I felt a moment of pity, I didn’t imagine the Proctor twins got invited to many events in the village. They weren’t exactly social outcasts. Just considered strange.
I told him what time the party was due to start and asked him to bring some drinks.Watching him walk away with a spring in his step, I told myself not to be so judgemental. So, they were weird , it didn’t hurt to reach out to the underdog now and then .
Later that evening, I stood back and surveyed my handiwork. The garden looked beautiful. Much nicer than that last time when Mason and Nixon had crashed our party.
We had moved the cars to the front so that guests could see that they were to go down the side of our house and onto the back. This was to stop people tramping through the main door and then back through the kitchen where the large patio doors led to the garden.
I had placed fairy lights down the fencing and in the shrubs that climbed one of the stone walls of our house, When the sun went down it would light the way and it was already getting darker.
The trees in the back garden were also decorated with lights and I had set up some white and gold paper pom-poms which I’d made earlier. I had asked Nixon to have a go but he was all fingers and thumbs and his pom-pom was flat and uninspiring. How we had laughed. Seeing the burly Nixon McKenna partaking in crafts was amusing.
Nixon and Mattie had carried out a beer and food run earlier. We had a few bottles of spirits with mixers but mainly beer and Mattie had bought a crate full of burgers and sausages with buns from Crawley’s Butchers in town.
Seating was plentiful with some chairs and our large rattan sofa set out on the patio near the house. There was also a decking area towards the bottom of the garden that was covered by my mother’s pergola. I had always enjoying sitting in that spot to read my book and the honeysuckle which encased the area, was my mum’s pride and joy.
When Boyd, Mason and Seth had arrived, they had set up our large blue tooth speaker in my mother’s summer house which was just to the side of our garden, hidden by a privet. The doors had been left open and the space acted as a larger speaker for the sound to echo out of.
As people started to arrive, either in taxis or having driven, Mattie directed them up into the garden and told them where to put their drinks and coats .
Enjoying being the hostess for once, I flittered around the guests and made sure they had everything. The music was pumping in the background, adding that party element we wanted. Nixon was on the BBQ cooking burgers; looking gorgeous in brown chino shorts and an open-necked short-sleeved shirt. Those tats off his screaming bad boy. He handled the grill like a pro, Boyd stood by as his sidekick, although he seemed to be hindering rather than helping.
I said hello to Jax as he arrived. It turned out, he had brought Wynter. There was a definite atmosphere there. I gave her a hug and she said she’d fill me in later. I was then reintroduced to Michael and Frazer from the army base who also arrived together. As the evening went on, more people turned up and I started to forget names, feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Wesley Bronson appeared with a couple of friends whom he didn’t introduce me to. They just went straight for the beer and Mattie had invited some of his friends.
Jonathan and Tyler Proctor arrived and I pointed them in Seth’s direction. They both looked quite scruffy and hadn’t really tried but it didn’t matter really. It wasn’t a black-tie event or anything.
Two of Seth’s friends turned up, all jumping up and down like giddy teenagers when they saw each other.
The place was filling up and I stopped trying to remember everyone’s names and went to speak with my cousin.
Amy was still a no-show and I was starting to think she may not come. She was taking forever to get ready and hadn’t been out of her bedroom in hours. I toyed with going up there and banging on the door but decided against it. I found it interesting that Mason wasn’t there either. Were they together somewhere?
Wynter was sitting on the wall beside the hedge half way down the garden. She had a bottle of beer beside her and was on her phone. As I approached, she looked up. Those startling eyes of hers were stunning . Her hair was jet black and her she was very pale, more so than me. I remember people used to call her Snow White.
She was wearing a stunning gypsy-style dress that really suited her.
“Jenna, you look lovely as always. No Amy again, I, see?” she acknowledged, her eyes wide. She really did look like a Disney character; she was such a pretty thing and a similar heigh and build to me so we could talk face to face. A rare occurrence for me, be it male or female.
“I’m hoping she’s just taking ages to get ready,” I replied with a knowing grin. I imagine Wynter knew all about Amy’s war with my husband and his family.
“So, you married the beast after all?” Wynter whispered, her sweet voice playful.
I turned to glance at Nixon who was still flipping burgers with Boyd, “I did. And I couldn’t be happier.”
I pursed my lips and looked to where Jax was sitting with his friends and a female that I hadn’t seen arrive. She looked like she was possibly a soldier too. She was pretty with short-cropped hair and was sitting beside Michael on the patio.
“So, I was surprised to learn that Nixon’s friend Jaxon is your new stepbrother,” I began, not sure whether she’d appreciate that dialogue. “Talk about a small world.”
She pushed her phone into her bag before she shot a look over her shoulder.
“Yes. He said he’d found out at the beach. Then he had a go at me because I hadn’t said anything. As if I should have known or something,” she huffed.
“How are you getting on? I imagine it can’t be that bad if he gave you a lift,” I suggested in a positive voice.
“He only brought me because my stepfather told him to. He hates me, Jenna. So does his sister.”
My eyebrows threaded, “He has a sister too, I knew he had a brother. ”
“Yes, Christopher. He lives with us too. They’re full brothers. But Molly is his half-sister, from his dad’s third marriage and she’s horrible . Thank goodness she only comes over on alternative weekends.”
“What’s your stepfather like?”
“He’s OK. Mum is besotted,” Wynter said with a slight smile.
“How is your dad holding up?” I questioned. I knew the breakup was connected to an affair. Jax and Styles had suggested at the beach that it was Wynter’s mother Daisy who had done the cheating.
“He’s alright. He did the dirty on Mum at the end of the day,” she explained. I raised my eyebrows, surprised as this contradicted what Jax had said.
“So, your dad cheated on your mother? I had no idea,” I explained, giving her a sympathetic smile.
“He’d been seeing other women for ages. She knew about them too, but couldn’t bring herself to leave him. Then she met Marcus and he swept her off her feet.”
I digested her words, “Do you still speak to your dad?”
“Not often. It was arranged that I’d see him every other weekend but that didn’t last long.”
Feeling a twinge of sadness, I pulled her in for a hug. She immediately went stiff and I drew back.
“What was that for?” Wynter said with a frown.
I shrugged, “I don’t know. I just thought you could use a hug.”
Her face relaxed, the creases on her brow disappearing and she smiled, “Thank you, I guess. But I’m OK. My Dad and I aren’t that close anymore. Not when I saw what he was doing to my mother. Mum is so sensitive and sweet. She should have chopped his nuts off long ago, but she doesn’t have it in her. Now I need to get used to living in a house surrounded by suffocating testosterone. Chris is OK, he’s quite chilled but Jaxon and his father are both temperamental loons. It’s like constant fireworks between them. Jax is also a shit to my mother which I don’t like. And to think I’m trying to prepare for the second year of my A-levels. We have a pool now though which is cool.”
Oh dear. Poor Wynter. Well, at least they had a pool, silver linings and all that.
After that, we went on to talk about boyfriends. Wynter had been seeing a boy that she’d met at school called Dominic. He sounded cute.
The subject eventually turned to fashion and then Amy suddenly decided to make an appearance. Wynter gave her a fingertipped wave over my shoulder and I turned to see her coming out of the house. She grabbed a beer and headed over to join us.
No sorry I’m late or anything, she just launched into the conversation and took over.
Typical Amy, take no prisoners and all that. As Wynter and my sister caught up, I noticed Amy glancing around the area every few minutes. Looking for someone , I felt like saying something but I left it. My mean streak was kicking in a lot more lately. In fact, my hormones in general were a bit mental. I had yet to come on my period so I put it down to menstrual mood swings.
Later, after everyone was full of burgers and booze, Nixon, me and Wynter all stood talking. Nixon was attempting to say what a great guy Jaxon was, but she wasn’t buying it.
As I was about to nip to the toilet, appearing to have to weakest bladder ever that evening for some strange reason, Mason arrived and he wasn’t alone.
I watched Amy’s expression beneath my lashes. She was distraught . So, she did like him. Nixon grinned at me when he caught me watching Amy, and I decided I needed to keep him away from her. He’d already confessed he knew something was going on. My husband could be cruel. I could imagine him taking immense pleasure in rubbing her nose in it, Mason having brought a girl.
I spent the rest of the night with Nixon, we had both had a few drinks and I was desperate to retire early but we needed to see the rest of the guests off. Boyd had taken Seth home. The youngest McKenna had had way too much to drink and was slurring and falling all over the place. Thank goodness he didn’t try and take his clothes off again.
“We’re off. Thanks for the invite,” Jax said as he approached us. “I see your brother got shit-faced again.”
Nixon snorted, “Fucking little punk. Doesn’t know when to quit.”
I smiled, “Nixon told Wynter what a great guy you are, but I don’t think she bought it,” I informed him quietly, scooting a glance around the garden.
“Yeah, good luck with that one mate. She called me a self-righteous prick in the car,” he confessed with a cocky grin. “And then ignored me all night.”
“You should give her a chance. She’s cool when you get to know her,” I said.
“I’ll take your word for it.”
“Take your word for what?” Wynter said as she approached us. Jaxon’s face darkened and he scowled at her.
“None of your business. Go and get your shit, we’re leaving,” he barked out. It was a definite order and I could see by her expression that she didn’t like it.
“What if I’m not ready to leave yet?” she said in an attempt to stand up to him.
“Then you can fucking walk home,” Jax shot back harshly.
Wynter’s shoulders dropped and she whispered an apology and moved to go and fetch her things.
“Fucking kids,” Jax sighed as he turned back to us.
Nixon folded his arms and quirked him a look, “Says the grandad, what are you now, twenty, twenty-one?”
“Twenty-two actually, old timer. But I’m fucking ancient in respect of life experience,” Jax batted back.
“Go easy on her Jax. For me,” I asked, hoping he’d listen.
His eyes softened and he stepped forward and planted a kiss on my cheek, “I do anything for you sweet Jenna. When it doesn’t work out with this hog, give me a call. ”
“I suggest you bring your car around whilst you still have the use of all your fingers,” Nixon stated, unfolding his arms. It was all said in jest of course and it lightened the mood.
Wynter appeared from the house with her bag, “I’m ready.”
Jax rolled his eyes, “About fucking time. Come on. Laters guys.”
“Bye, thanks again,” Wynter said and followed Jaxon, like a kicked puppy.
Over the next hour, people started to leave in dribs and drabs.
Nixon told me that Mason’s date had gone home in a huff and that Amy had gone to bed. Mattie had fallen asleep in one of the rattan chairs next to a guy called Aaron. Someone Nixon knew from their fight club. We left them there and then closed-up for the night and went to bed. As we were brushing our teeth, Nixon told me that Boyd said Amy and Mason had kissed. I wasn’t worried, it was probably the drink talking.
I felt exhausted and fell asleep in my husband's arms with the knowledge that everyone had had a good time. Well, everyone apart from Amy, or so I thought.
*****
The next day was the dreaded tidy-up time. I woke up early, feeling ridiculously queasy and had to rush to the ensuite where I was violently sick. It was mainly water. It must have been the burgers as I rarely ate red meat. I washed my face, got dressed and headed downstairs where Mattie and Nixon were already tidying up. No sign of Amy.
As I padded into the kitchen, Nixon turned to me and placed the bin bag he was holding on the kitchen counter, “You OK love, you look pale?” he questioned with concern, dropping a kiss onto my lips.
I smiled up at him. He was shirtless and wearing jogging bottoms. God how I loved him .
“I’m fine. Something disagreed with me I think,” I replied, pushing my hair back from my face. Hoping I didn’t look that terrible.
“Maybe it’s the alcohol. You know you’re not used to it.”
I nodded in agreement and then joined in with the clear-up.
As I was finishing off in the kitchen with the boys, Amy came downstairs. She looked worried and gave me one of those, we need to talk faces. I followed her outside.
I went in for the kill, “So what happened with you and Mason?”
Her brow creased but her eyes told another story, “Nothing, why?”
She held a black bin sack but wasn’t really putting much in there.
“Boyd said you guys kissed or something. I’m your big sister, you can tell me anything.”
Amy rolled her eyes at that one, “So what, it was a dare.” I knew she was lying.
I explained that I didn’t believe her and encouraged her to sit and chat with me. She did and opened-up eventually, admitting that she and Mason had slept together last night.
I was shocked and yelled out, before jamming my hands over my mouth. Amy looked towards the house, worried that we’d been overheard by Mattie or Nixon but the coast was clear. For another second only however as my husband leaned out of the patio doors.
He said he was worried about the boys and needed to pop back home. His face was pulled taunt and I knew I needed to go with him. Something was wrong.
I said to Amy that we would talk later and not to worry and set off into the house after Nixon.
What then followed when we got to Lamb Hill was a nightmare . The boys were not there. Just a note from Boyd, telling Nixon to call Mason.
Mason had taken Seth to the hospital as he’d been poisoned. It was thought that his drink had been spiked at the BBQ, our BBQ .
Once we’d established what had happened, Nixon and I drove straight over to the hospital.
Seth was in a bad state but was responding to treatment. His body had had an allergic reaction to the drug which had made it worse. He was on a drip and in a private room. Mason was livid , pacing the floor of the hospital room. Determined to find out who had done this to his brother. Boyd was just sat with his head in his hands.
Whilst at the hospital I dealt with my own issues. I had to go to the toilet to be sick again a couple more times. The second time, I bumped into a nurse. She was washing her hands in the sink as I came out of the cubicle.
“Oh dear, morning sickness I guess?” she said warmly with a sympathetic smile. Bile crawled up into my throat, cutting off any possible coherent reply.
And BOOM! The severity of what she said hit me like a hammer and my breath halted. I felt unable to form any words, so I just nodded as she moved past me with a smile.
The reality of those words started to sink in. Her comment was ridiculous as I knew I couldn’t get pregnant by Nixon. His injury. It had to be a sickness bug. Then I thought about the fact that my period still hadn’t come. I checked the calendar on my phone, I was almost sixteen days late, and I was never that late.
So many questions slammed into me all at once. I paced in the toilet for a moment longer, shaking myself out of what felt like a dream. Surely, I wasn’t pregnant?
I looked at myself in the mirror and blinked, my jaw clenched so tightly I was surprised I didn’t damage my teeth.
A choked sob escaped me before I could stop it. I needed to get a grip. After splashing my face with water, I went back to join the boys, pushing the thought of babies to one side. I had more to worry about at that moment, we all did.
Seth was still unconscious and he needed us. I didn’t have time to think about myself.
**** *
Luckily, Seth did start to make a recovery and he was released a couple of days later but was given strict instructions to drink plenty of water and bed rest. Boyd was amazing, very supportive and caring, a side you didn’t always see. The thought that this had happened to Seth at my house sent a shiver down my back.
Both Nixon and Mason were forced to get to the farm quickly as a fence had gone down in one of their main fields and they had lost a handful of cows. Cows that they were due to sell in London that following week.
I spent most of my time at Nixon’s but slotted in a few hours here and there packing at Orchard View. My health seemed to be deteriorating which was annoying. Having quit my job at the pub ages ago, I had decided to apply for a position in a boutique in the village. They had called to ask me when I could start. Bad timing and all that.
After a trip to the village with my brother, I nipped into the chemist and purchased a pregnancy test. Part of me knew it was ridiculous, but what the heck was going on with my body if not?
Oh, my goodness, if I was pregnant. Would Nixon start accusing me of being with someone else, having been told he couldn’t have children? The thought was unpalatable.
I shook it off, I had to have faith that he would be there for me.
Whilst waiting for Nixon later that night, sitting on his bed, I held the test between two fingers. The test with two bright red lines confirmed that I was, in fact, pregnant. Pregnant with Nixon’s child.
What the hell? My imagination started to wander.
I didn’t know what to feel. Should I be happy? I loved kids but it was so soon, again. My parents would have a stoke. I would be the one responsible for the death of my mother and father, I was sure of it .
Why did things have to get so difficult again when they were just coming right?
Whilst I told Nixon the news, my pulse was beating so loudly that I was sure I could hear it, “What did you say?” he said to me, later that night in our bedroom. He looked tired, so it probably wasn’t the right time to give him my news, but I had wanted to tell him all day. I needed his strength to deal with it.
I held the stick up and he took it from me, a bit more forcefully than I would have liked but he was in shock, so I let it go.
He stared down at the stick and blinked his eyes, “Are you sure, did you do more than one?”
I gave him a vacant smile, “Yep, I took three and they’re all the same.”
A flurry of emotions crossed his face. He didn’t even ask me if it was his. Had he done so, I probably never would have forgiven him.
“What the fuck?” Nixon said, scratching his head and starting to pace. He kept looking back at me and staring at my stomach.
“Well?” I prompted. Not sure what to say. My cheek started to twitch.
“It’s impossible? I can’t have kids. They did tests. What the hell?”
“They must have got it wrong Nixon, as I am definitely pregnant and it’s definitely yours,” I stressed, emphasising the last part, slightly worried he’d accuse me of cheating.
“Of course, it’s mine . I know you’d never let anyone else touch you. You’re mine,” Nixon snarled possessively, “ Always mine. And now you’re going to have my baby?” he paused as his breath caught in his throat. “This is fucking awesome news. I can’t believe it. Is everything OK with it?”
Relief at his reaction flooded my insides.
He was in proper shock and so was I but Nixon knocked me out of this when he lunged towards me and lifted me into his arms, swinging me around. I must admit, I was surprised I didn’t hurl down his shirt.
“I think so. I don’t really know as it’s too early to tell. ”
Nixon suddenly became the most animated I had ever seen him, “Right. We’ll need to go to the Doctor, as in, we both do. Somebody got something very wrong. I need to speak to people and I need to have tests, find out what the fucks happened to me. Shit, are you OK, are you OK with this? With the baby?” The words shot from his mouth like gunfire.
“Yes. It’s a shock and soon but of course. I’ve always wanted children. Fair enough maybe not as quickly as this but what can you do? I wouldn’t ever get rid of it.”
“So, you’ve always wanted kids? And yet you married me, knowing I couldn’t father a child?” He said this to himself as if he didn’t get it.
“Yes, I love you Nixon. I would have given up being a mother for you.”
His eyes became hazed, “I love you so much Jenna. And now you don’t need to. We don’t have to. Shit it’s early but this is meant to be. I’m certain of it.” He then picked me up and spun me around again.
My breathing was laboured as Nixon sat me down, keeping his arms loosely around me, “Sorry, chucking you around the room can’t be good for the baby,” he said, smiling down at me.
I flashed him a big smile, “I guess not.”
“But what about you, Jenna? Are you happy? You do want it?”
The question he was asking got my back up a bit, that and the extra hormones raging through my body, “How can you ask me that, of course I want our baby. I’m just in shock. I’ve gone from believing I can’t have children to having one within a couple of hours. It’s a lot to take in.”
“I know, I understand but I’m here for you. We’ll do this together . I also intend on having a few curt words with the medical team at Marham. Who obviously got it wrong? Thank fuck I always used protection before you. There could have been tons of me running around out there.” Nixon seemed to realise how crass his words were and ill-timed and his face dropped and he led me to the bed. “Sorry, not the time. I’m such an unfeeling prick, but you know you’re the only one who has ever, will ever matter to me?”
I was totally in agreement with him. There had never been any other men on my radar, only Nixon, “Yes, I know that, have always known that, and I love you but are we really going to do this?”
“Fuck yeah,” my husband and the father of my baby said.
My eyes started to fill with tears of happiness as Nixon pulled me into his arms. We shared a kiss so full of love and tenderness, his tongue dancing with mine and he placed his hand on my still flat stomach. That special place where a new, unseen member of our family was slowly growing inside me.
*****
Nixon and I made an appointment for the doctor who in turn booked me in for an ultrasound. The tests were correct, I was pregnant and almost six weeks along. Nixon’s had to give a sample and it was to be sent away to the lab. He was also given a physical exam which he wasn’t pleased about as you can imagine.
The doctor did say that it was early days and due to Nixon’s injury, we may have conceived successfully, but that didn’t mean we were out of the woods. My blood test also came back to show I was anaemic and my blood pressure was low. I was told to rest for a couple of weeks which didn’t help considering I’d just got a new job.
Nixon was extremely firm and said that he didn’t want me working and it got my back up, but I knew he was right.
We’d spent that night at his house, talking at lengths whilst we were laid in bed together. It was amazing how the news of having a baby would change things. Now we really did need our own space. Boyd had said he heard us having sex that time (although I still think he said that to embarrass me). However, if that was the case, they would definitely hear a baby screaming all night and I couldn’t imagine that would go down well.
My hormones seemed to be all over the place and I wanted Nixon that night with a passion, but he wouldn’t touch me. He said he was worried about sex harming the baby in some way. What I knew about pregnancy could be written on a postage stamp but surely couples had sex when they were pregnant? After he batted off my attempts at seduction, I decided to let it go. Maybe it would be best to wait a few weeks until we had more information about being pregnant; aka the dos and don'ts.
In the morning we popped over to my parent’s house to collect some more stuff and I brought up the job again. I needed something to do with my time, Nixon was working hard on the farm again and I still had weeks to wait until my accountancy course started. I wondered how me having a baby would affect that.
We were talking in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs at Orchard View when Amy suddenly appeared above us. She came down the stairs like an elephant. She had a strange expression on her face and was looking at me like I had grown two heads. She cleared her throat theatrically.
She had probably heard Nixon saying he didn’t want me working and thought this was a chauvinistic thing. His tone had brooked no argument.
“I take it you’re here to collect some more stuff?” she said in a breezy voice, less antagonistic for once.
She looked different, pink, and not herself. She was hiding something and trying to put the heat on me, I could feel it.
Nixon tensed beside me as he turned to glare at her. Upset at the interruption.
Amy questioned me about what Nixon had said about the doctor, revealing that she must have heard part of our conversation, but Nixon successfully covered for us .
Even though he diverted her question, I could feel her eyes drilling into me. After a glance over her shoulder, she set off into the kitchen and we followed on autopilot.
My mouth dropped open as Amy offered to make us a cup of tea. This was weird behaviour from her. Something was not right but I went along with it, we both did.
Amy started to play mum and put the kettle on and Nixon gave her a wide birth and went to lean against the fridge. I took my usual seat at the table and attempted to appear relaxed.
The banter flowed between Nixon and my sister, but it was less fraught than usual, quite humorous. They both slagged off each other’s choice of clothing.
We then all sat together at the kitchen table and held a normal conversation. Amy held her own during our discussion, with the occasional barb thrown at Nixon but I could see part of her mind was somewhere else. She was up to something and trying to hide it and I knew in my gut that it had something to do with Mason. They were probably seeing each other on the sly. I knew they’d slept together.
As she left to go to her photography dark room, a place my father had created for Amy to store and develop her photographs, Nixon turned to me.
“Well, that was weird.”
And he was right. Did we have Amy on-side, at last? Had she come to terms with the fact that Nixon was my husband or was she now too wrapped up in her own shit to care.
I so hoped it was the latter. Nixon and I needed no more interference or stress. Especially considering our latest news.
**** *
The following week went by at lightning speed. Nixon was due to go to London with Mason. They had a herd of cattle they were selling. I decided to spend one of those nights at my parent’s house to break up the week.
That following morning, I bumped into Amy in the hallway as I was about to leave. She said she was going to the village fair in Swaffham and asked if I wanted to come. It was usually a busy event and bearing in mind I needed the loo every hour, I didn’t fancy being faced with those temporary type of toilets. I didn’t say that to Amy of course.
I also hadn’t seen Nixon for days and he had texted to say he was coming back that night and would take me to dinner.
I was surprised how easily Amy informed me that she had cadged a lift off Mattie and Alex and they were taking her to meet our Chrissy. Chrissy had been spending a lot of time with Amy’s friend Betty. They had been out the night before and we’re meeting her there. It appeared she had moved on quite well; I imagined someone had helped her get there quicker. And that ‘someone’ was probably Mason shaped!
After apologising again for not accepting her invitation, I suggested we meet up at the house the morning after and go for a walk together. We could then have lunch at The Swan pub. They had lovely food and it was located next to the River Wissey, the one that eventually turned into the pool by the meadow between our parent's farm and Nixon’s. I would have suggested riding Vicky over to Kiplings. She was currently stabled at Lamb Hill. As Amy worked at Kiplings she could ride their horses for free and we could have gone riding together. I was now accomplished, but I didn’t know if you were supposed to ride when you were pregnant. I so needed to go online and order some books on pregnancy. Although only small changes kept cropping up, it was amazing how being pregnant was slowly starting to change my life.
I said I’d come over the next day at ten. Amy agreed, and I was pleased we had made time for each other .
I walked over to Lamb Hill, as the dress I wanted to wear was in Nixon’s wardrobe. It was a fitted red cotton dress that I probably wouldn’t be able to get in for much longer. My boobs had already started to feel tender but they didn’t look any bigger when I’d checked in the mirror. My tummy was also still quite flat. When I started to show, we’d have to reveal our news.
It was surreal, as I really was happy about our news. It felt a bit like a miracle baby. It was difficult not being able to speak to my mum or sisters about it, but Nixon was right. We needed to wait a few more weeks. And I was slightly superstitious and didn’t want to jinx anything. We also needed to wait for Nixon’s tests to come back.
I was in the kitchen talking to Seth when Nixon and Mason came in through the back door.
“Fuck me you should come with a warning,” Mason said as he took off his coat and hung it on the hooks by the door.
He swaggered over to Seth and me and planted a kiss on my cheek and I grinned at him.
“Miss me, sweetheart?” he drawled lazily before also kissing Seth’s cheek.
“Dirty bastard,” Seth grimaced and wiped his face with his hand, “So gross,” he muttered and walked out of the kitchen.
Mason just stood there in between my husband and me with a serene expression looking back and forth between us. Did he know something? Had Nixon told him about the baby? Before I could say anything, Nixon said, “OK, you can piss off now so I can greet my wife properly.”
I met him part way and he pulled me into his arms. His hands were firm on my hips and he claimed my mouth in a hungry kiss. Stamping his ownership.
I could hear Mason chuckling to himself as he went up the stairs.
“So, Mrs McKenna. You look beautiful. How have you been?”
“All good. I felt loads better this morning. No sickness, nothing,” I explained, resting my arms loosely around his neck. “How did the sale go? ”
“Good. They bought everything. We had one cow which appeared lame as he came down the ramp, but they took him anyway.”
“Well, that’s a relief.” I imagined it wouldn’t have mattered if the beast was lame. considering where he was going; the slaughterhouse. A hard pill to swallow I know.
“So, I’ll grab a shower and then we’ll go? OK?” Nixon said, brushing my hair back. “You look fucking stunning.”
“Great. Can’t wait and we’re starving,” I informed him, my smile wide.
Nixon looked down into my eyes with a loving expression as he caught on that I meant me and our baby.
“Well, we can’t have that. I’ll be super quick,” Nixon promised. His eyes roamed up and down my body, sexual hunger and pride intertwined in that look.
“Maybe once we’ve had supper, we can come back here and have a very different, private type of dessert?” he whispered against the shell of my ear. A frisson of excitement shot through me.
“I thought you wanted to wait a while?” I reminded him.
“Fuck it. I can’t do it. I need to be inside you. And besides, Mason drove the truck and I did some googling. It’s safe to have sex, even right up until the birth.”
That was a relief as the thought of not being able to be intimate for nine months was not one I had relished.
At my silence, Nixon said, “I’ll be gentle, I promise,” skimming his fingers down my face.
And later that night, he was. The meal we shared had been romantic. Candle lit in a small Italian bistro in the village. We had both worked up two types of appetite, one was sated at the restaurant, the other in Nixon’s bed.
We were home for ten and went straight to his room where we had slow, loving sex. It was intense, deep, and so thorough. Nixon touched and teased every part of my body and I really did feel like I’d died and gone to heaven .
I didn’t think that anything could have taken away that buzz I had felt as I lay in his arms.
Having dozed off, I opened my eyes to find Nixon was gone. Pushing myself out of bed, I noticed it wasn’t quite midnight. Where was he? The bathroom door was open and he wasn’t in there. I pushed back the covers and swung my feet onto the floor.
I then took my robe, covered my nightie, and pushed open the bedroom door. The lights were still on.
I padded towards the landing and holding the rail, started to walk down the stairs. I was still half asleep. Maybe Nixon had the midnight munchies?
And then—all fucking hell broke loose.