Seventeen
The cool night air coming into the house was biting and pulling my robe further around my body, my eyes scanned the hallway. I was almost at the bottom of the stairs when Mason bellowed something into the house from the open doorway. Whatever he said was taken seriously as both Boyd and Seth ran in from the living room.
Rubbing my hands up and down my cold arms, I advanced quickly down the last few steps.
Mason had his phone to his ear; his face was strained. The speed of my heartbeat increased. Something was wrong. His eyes locked on mine and I could see an emotion in them that I had never seen there before, fear . A dart of panic shot through me and I opened my mouth but no words came out.
Mason pulled his gaze away and pinned it on Boyd, lowering his phone, “Nixon’s getting the truck, go get in, you too Seth. We need everyone .” With a brief glance at me, he then lifted the phone back and rattled off the address for Orchard View. Why was Mason giving my parent's address out to some random person on the phone? It was then that I saw the glow through the open doorway; that orange light in the distance and my heart stalled. My house was on fire!
“No,” I gasped , lunging toward the door. Mason caught my arm to stop me and I struggled to free myself, “ Let go of me !” I yelled. My brother-in-law easily subdued me as he continued to report the fire to whom I assumed was the emergency services. I could easily see the flames now and the plume of smoke coming from the building.
The distinctive throaty roar of a truck bled into the yard, as it revved up to the porch and stopped. My eyes locked with Nixon’s as he jammed the handbrake on, his face was pulled taunt and he yelled out to Mason. I watched feeling helpless as Boyd and Seth climbed up into the bed section of the vehicle .
“For fucks sake, let’s go,” Nixon shouted through the open window, “Jenna, you stay here,” he commanded. It was a tone that should be obeyed but under the circumstances, I couldn’t, wouldn’t listen. Sickness crawled into my stomach. My sisters were both at the house! Terror gripped my throat like a fist and my heart started to pound so loud I imagined I could hear it.
“Hurry, please hurry,” Mason ended the call and pushed past me, he too barked at me, telling me to stay like a dog. That wasn’t happening and I ran down the steps of the porch to the open window of the driver’s side. Nixon was sitting with his fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, “Please take me with you,” I choked out, tears now running down my face. His expression was pained, he too looked fearful.
“No, get in the house Jenna,” he growled, angry that I hadn’t followed his instructions the first time.
As Mason opened the passenger side, I ran around the side of the pickup and stood in front of it, effectively stopping them from leaving and screamed, “ That’s my family in there , I’m coming, Nixon, I’ll walk if I must. You can’t leave me here,” I cried. Nixon revved the car, the engine growling angrily.
Mason was shouting and motioning for him to go around me, the urgency in his voice stressing his need to get to my house fast. Nixon cursed before calling out to Boyd by banging on the roof of the car with his fist, “Boyd, help her up,” he yelled. Boyd and Seth were holding on to the roof of the cab and I ran around the back, praying that they didn’t drive off anyway.
Boyd lowered his hand and I took it and he lifted me to join them in the bed area. The vehicle then lurched forward, spitting pebbles out from the back wheels and I almost fell but Boyd wrapped his arms around me, “Easy,” he said in a soft voice, full of empathy.
As Nixon steered the car down the long driveway, Boyd came behind me, caging me against the back of the cab so that I didn’t fall, protecting me. There was nothing sexual or aggressive about it, the bad blood was well and truly in the past.
The truck roared again as Nixon drove out of the gates of Lamb Hill and down the dirt track which led to Orchard View. Panic bled from me like a severed artery, a buffet of haunting thoughts circling my head and possible outcomes of the fire, none of them good.
The lump in my throat grew bigger and I could hardly breath. My whole body started shaking as Nixon steered through the gates up to our property and accelerated up our driveway.
The car screeched to a halt and Mason literally launched himself out of the truck before Nixon had pulled on the brake. I watched, both horrified and relieved as he leapt up the steps of our porch and shouldered the front door open. Flames engulfed one side of the house, reaching up into the air like the devil’s claws. The front of our beautiful stone-built building was turning black. Smoke billowed and I could taste it in my throat.
Mason disappearing into the house was the last coherent thought I had. Boyd and Seth led me to the back of the bed where Nixon had lowered the tailgate. My husband then placed his hands under my arms and lifted me down. Holding me against his chest, “Boyd, see if there is a safe way in through the back. The front is too thick with smoke, fuck knows how Mason made it.”
I knew Nixon was holding me close to protect me, he didn’t want me to see, “Easy, Jenna. Mason will get them out. Is it just Amy and Chrissy in there? Anyone else, what about Mattie?”
His arms were still around me but he slackened his hold to allow me to move back and look up into his face. It was blurred from my tears and I couldn’t talk so I nodded my head. I could feel the heat from the flames at my back and the sky was lit up all around us, the smell of burning stinging my nostrils. I looked at Nixon’s perfect face and could see the reflection of the flames bouncing shadows across his skin .
“You’re going to have to give me more than that Jenna. What about Daniel and the lads? Are they not in the staff quarters?” Nixon said, urgency in his voice and I managed to croak out, “It’s just the girls. Mattie is at Alex’s. The staff all live close by, they don’t live on site.” He nodded his head in confirmation that he understood and I turned in his arms, my back now pressed against his chest. I could see Seth and Boyd coming back from the rear of our house, Boyd’s T-shirt was ripped and covered in what looked like oil.
They came to stand before us, “The glass of the patio doors has gone and the kitchen is pretty much fucked,” Boyd said, getting a grunt from Nixon for his efforts.
“For fucks sake Boyd, say it how it is, don’t fucking sugar coat it,” Nixon complained, possibly trying to protect me from the truth. Pain bit into me at the news, my kitchen, that place where my family and I had shared so many magic moments was gone.
And then I lost it, I struggled against Nixon’s hold, I had to get into the house, save my sisters and where was Mason? Nixon restrained me with a grunt, “Jenna, for the love of God, keep still. You are not going in there. Mason will find them,” he said harshly into my ear. I stopped struggling and he released me, possibly because he didn’t want to hurt or bruise my skin, his hold had been so harsh.
I dropped to my knees and this brought Nixon down into a squatting position behind me. He started stroking my hair and shushing me. Full of compassion and strength. I was sobbing uncontrollably, “Take deep breaths Jenna. I need to see if there is anything I can do,” he said and I felt him rise to his feet.
“Boyd, stay with her. I’m going in to see if I can find Mason,” he coughed, his voice raised to be heard above the cracking hiss of the flames as parts of the house were being eaten by the nasty, angry blaze.
I wanted my mother. Where was my mum? Thoughts of my parents clouded my mind .
I shuffled back on my bottom, away from the heat, ripping open my robe, suddenly feeling like I was suffocating, “You’re OK Jenna. Mason is on his way out with Amy,” someone said. My head was too fuzzy to ascertain who was speaking to me.
I didn’t even fully register what he said as my mind started to shut down, the same numb feeling passing all the way through my body. I pulled my knees up to my chest and started to rock, attempting to shake that nothingness feeling. My eyes felt gritty and my lungs empty. My breaths were coming out of my body in ragged pants.
Chaos ensued but the sound of a fire engine in the distance found its way into my consciousness, giving me hope. I snapped out of my trance. At that point, Mason appeared carrying Amy out onto the porch, and I pushed up onto my feet and ran toward her, “Amy!” I cried out, my throat dry and raw. Frantically scanning her body, she didn’t look injured and relief pooled into my stomach. As I made my way toward her, it was soon replaced by the harsh realisation that Chrissy wasn’t with them.
“Wait,” Nixon snagged my arm, stopping me from going up the porch and nearer to the fire.
Once Mason and Amy were safely off the steps of the porch, Nixon let go of my arm, allowing me to get to my sister. We threw our arms around each other and I sobbed into her hair, so happy she was safe.
I was babbling hysterically; I couldn’t form a sentence and Amy just hushed me and stoked the back of my hair. I was shaking uncontrollably; I couldn’t stop myself and I felt a sudden sharp pain in my stomach. What the hell?
“Shit,” I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut.
Thankfully it was short-lived.
Now was not the time to get stomach ache, I was too worried about my sisters to care about myself .
I could vaguely hear Nixon and Mason in conversation, the sirens in the distance getting nearer all the time.
There was then a large bang and more black smoke from the back of our house as a wooden beam splintered.
Amy pulled away, “Chrissy,” she whispered, searching the area.
“Stay here. I’m going back for Chrissy,” Mason stated, he then barked at his brother, “Boyd, look after her, do not let her follow me.”
Boyd came to stand beside Amy as he obeyed his brother’s instructions. I had a sudden panic attack and searched for Nixon. He was close by and on his phone with his other hand pressed against his free ear. Trying to cut out the background noise.
My chest rattled as there was another loud explosion and the windows at the front of the kitchen blew out, wood and glass flying out, hitting my sister’s car. The sound echoed around the yard and I fell to the ground. We all did from the impact. The whole area seemed to shake. I experienced another twinge of pain in my stomach.
I then felt Nixon behind me and he dropped to his knees and pulled me into his arms, telling me not to worry and that it would be fine, rocking me back and forth. And I cried, grief shaking me to my core. His grip on me increased, pressing me into his strong, warm, safe body and I drew in his scent and clung to him as if my life depended on it. Thoughts of Chrissy’s battered and burned body raging through my mind.
Amy started to sob and Boyd put his hands on her arm and told her not to worry, stating that Mason would get Chrissy out.
At that reassurance, I started to calm down, slowly coming down from that feeling of dread, of thinking the worst and Nixon pulled away.
“Seth, come here. Stay with Jenna. I’m going to see if I can help Mason.” I didn’t register at that point that this meant Nixon would be putting himself in danger. I felt confused and angry. Why did this have to happen, why us? Why again? I wanted my mother so badly at that point.
Nixon moved away and Seth placed his arm around my shoulders. I felt lightheaded and couldn’t process what was going on.
The next few minutes were chaotic as Mason opened the bathroom window and lowered Chrissy down by her hands. I couldn’t move, I could only sit there with Seth, watching the rescue with wide eyes.
Nixon shouted, “Got her,” and caught Chrissy. She was disorientated by OK as Amy swept her into her arms, crushing our little sister against her chest. My legs were heavy and I couldn’t push to my feet to go to them both. I felt useless.
The fire was getting worse by the second, travelling quickly and I could see the flames were now in the hallway through the front doors.
Twisting my head, I could see the fire engine was attempting to get through the gates to our driveway which had not been built to accommodate such a large vehicle.
As I turned back, ready to go to my sisters, I saw Mason about to jump down from the window, one booted foot on the sill. And then there was a second explosion and that entire section collapsed as the entire kitchen went up.
Again, the ground shook and it knocked everyone down again. There was so much smoke where the upstairs bathroom had been. Had Mason made it out?
Panic beat in me like a drum. No! Mason, he had to be OK. I searched the area with my sooty eyes but couldn’t see him, I then searched for Nixon. Amy was screaming and Chrissy just sat on the ground, dazed I would say.
Amy then set off running for the house but Boyd shifted and ran after her grabbing her arm. She screeched at him and he yelled back but I couldn’t hear what was said. He was stopping her from re-entering the building. The front door had now collapsed on itself and there was no way past it anyway. Nixon stood at the bottom of the porch with his hand over his mouth, looking for a way in. His body was tense as he struggled for a way to get to his brother .
I pushed to my feet and went to join Seth and squeezed his hand. He was watching the house with tears in his eyes. The nothingness crept in again and I just watched the flames engulfing my family home feeling helpless and alone.
The engine successfully made it through the gates and pulled up by the house and Nixon ran over to speak to one of the firemen, pointing toward the area where the bathroom had been. Now the smoke had cleared I could see it had gone, the whole room had collapsed with Mason in it. Another sob escaped me.
A couple of firemen made their way into the building as another fire truck pulled up and an ambulance was making its way slowly up our driveway, obviously assessing the situation. The second fire truck started to unwind a large hose and began to spray water up and onto the flames at the section which was burning the worst.
I looked for Seth who was now sitting with Chrissy and so I sat down on the ground, pulled my knees up to my chest again and tried to think nice, positive thoughts. The firemen were here now, they’d find Mason. All would be OK. That’s what I tried to tell myself anyway. I wanted my parents.
Suddenly I was knocked from my stupor as the fireman carried a body out of the building, Mason’s body. He was injured, there was blood on his head and chest and my heart squeezed. Amy ran over to him but Nixon stopped her, telling her to give them space. He was scared, I could see it on his face and I longed to go to him and put my arms around him to comfort him but my legs wouldn’t move.
The paramedic placed Mason’s unconscious body onto a stretcher and put him into the back of the ambulance.
Then Amy and Nixon started to argue and I was sure I heard her say how she was in love with Mason.
I pushed to my feet as Amy climbed into the ambulance and they closed the doors. Nixon watched it drive away, his back was to me and his shoulders were slumped .
The firefighters continued to work on putting the fire out. A paramedic was checking over Chrissy.
The police turned up and during the next twenty minutes, we all had to give our details so they could arrange to take statements from us. The fire was still alight but the flames were much lower.
“There’s nothing we can do now. We need to get to the hospital. Everyone in the truck! Boyd, we’ll take you and the girls back to the house and then Seth and I will go to be with Amy. She needs us now, more than ever,” he said, taking control of the situation. His voice was strong but I could identify a thread of uncertainty.
Seth and Boyd helped Chrissy into the cab of the vehicle and then climbed into the bed section, Boyd slammed the tailgate with force. He was angry. Angry because of the fire? Did he think we had also been targeted like their house had so many years ago? Surely not. I started to wrack my brain as to how it could have started. Could it have been something to do with the fertiliser store?
Nixon walked over to me and pulled me into his arms, his shoulders felt tight like they were bunched up.
I hugged him back.
“Come on, it will be OK. We need to get you home and to bed. This can’t be good for the baby.” The moment those words were out I realised I hadn’t even thought about the baby I carried. Our baby. I put my hand into Nixon’s outstretched fingers and allowed him to gently tug me toward the truck.
“Don’t look, leave the professionals to do their job. Your parents are on their way back, I gave them Boyd and Seth’s numbers.”
He helped me into the car and as we drove back to Nixon’s, I turned to look out of the cab window and all I could see was destruction and misery.
**** *
During the early hours, I stood by Nixon’s bedroom window at Lamb Hill Farm, I could still smell the smoke on my skin, even after showering. I’d thoroughly scrubbed my entire body and then wrapped myself in Nixon’s large, fluffy grey bathrobe. It swamped my slight frame but his scent on the cotton gave me a measure of much-needed calm. I felt alone, confused, and powerless.
Nixon was still at the hospital with his brothers and parents. How I wished he was there with his arms wrapped around me.
As agreed, once the ambulance had left carrying Amy with Mason’s broken body, Nixon, Seth, and Boyd had ushered Chrissy and me into the truck and brought us back here. Nixon had called Mattie as he’d driven us back to his farm.
Both Nixon’s parents were up and had also been in contact with the emergency services and several of our neighbours. When Boyd relayed the news about Mason, Melanie broke down and I took her into my arms. We all did. She then went to get changed, desperate to get to the hospital. Mitchell had been sleeping in his chair at that point.
Boyd had been given strict instructions to stay with us until either Mattie or my parents arrived.
My husband’s face had been torn as he and Seth had driven away and I’d watched the truck disappear down their driveway. Past our house which was still burning; the fire crew still attempting to put out the fire.
The chaos inside me still hadn’t rested, although it had settled slightly when my parents arrived at Lamb Hill around an hour ago. Chrissy and I had literally launched ourselves into their arms. I had needed my mother so much, it had hurt. Mattie had arrived just after.
Once our parents were there, Boyd left for the hospital with his father Mitchell. So, all the McKenna family were now at the hospital with Amy.
My parents were of course crushed by the fire. They had been turned away initially as the fire engines were still working a section behind the garages. It was still burning and the entire area had been cordoned off. I could see a gathering of our neighbours surrounding the property watching the tragedy.
Staring numbly through the window into the distance, the fire was now out but the embers still burned bright. The memory of that inferno which had nearly taken both my sisters away, would be carved into my memory for the rest of my life. I squinted, my eyes tired and gritty as I stared at what was left of the horrifying scene. It was now the early hours of the morning, but no one had gone to bed. It just didn’t seem right with Mason in the hospital with his family waiting, desperate for news and my family safe and warm there. Well, everyone apart from Amy.
Smoke was still bellowing up into the dark sky, thick and black. My home, that special place where I had been so happy was gone, reduced to almost nothing. From where I was standing, it appeared the flames had also licked through a good portion of our garages. I wondered fleetingly how much damage Mattie’s flat had sustained. My eyes scanned over Vicky’s paddock. Thank goodness she had been stabled at Lamb Hill with Shadow. The fumes from the house would have killed her I was sure of it.
I attempted to swallow the sob that appeared at the back of my throat; a place where I could still taste smoke. I felt rotten. My body throbbed and there was a consistent twinge in my stomach. Nervous knots perhaps?
No longer able to bear the sight of the destruction of my family home, I pulled the curtains closed and went over to the bedside table. I checked my phone for any news from Nixon but there was nothing. Just my last message, asking how Mason was. That shattering noise of the floor collapsing still haunted my thoughts. Please, please be OK, Mason.
As I dressed, I picked up the pace, it sounded like someone had arrived back at the house; there was a car engine and the sound of the front door .
I slowly made my way downstairs, anxiety racing through my body. My parents were in the living room speaking to two policemen who had just arrived. Chrissy and I had already made a brief statement earlier.
My sister and Mattie were sat on a large sofa facing the main bay window looking out into the distance at where our house used to be.
Being the only one present who knew the layout of Mr and Mrs McKenna’s kitchen, I made some sandwiches and set them on the table. I also filled a jug of juice and got my parents a hot drink as the police left. We spoke briefly about the fire but everyone was so tired and I struggled to register what was being said. My father explained that arson was suspected and the thought of someone starting the fire on purpose with my family in there sent a shard of horror through me. The police were due to come back once it was daytime.
We all eventually managed to get some sleep downstairs. My parents took one of the sofas and Chrissy, Mattie, and me the chairs. I could have gone up to Nixon’s bed, but I didn’t want to be there without him.
A few hours later when the sun had started to rise, Rachel, Melanie’s sister arrived and cooked us breakfast. We all picked at our food and then congregated in the living room. Mr and Mrs McKenna, the boys and Amy had been at the hospital for hours .
As promised the police came back. They sat with my parents at one end of the living room around the dining table, talking in hushed voices. My father had also been on the phone most of the morning.
As I was staring into space, the door went and Amy and Melanie came in. She looked shattered. My mother ran over to Amy and dragged her into her arms, “My darling girl, I’m so sorry. Are you sure you weren’t hurt?” I just watched the scene with immense sadness and that persistent churning feeling in my stomach. I asked how Mason was but Amy had little to say. They were waiting for news. He had a serious head injury .
Around ten minutes later, Nixon and Seth arrived, followed by Boyd and Mitchell.
As he entered the house, Nixon strode towards me and pulled me into his arms and I crumbled against him.
He then took control, asking Boyd to take their father to bed and suggesting that Amy also try and get some sleep. Melanie spoke for a while with my parents before she went upstairs to see Mitchell. She also looked exhausted.
The rest of that day seemed to drag on without any news. Everyone was in their own private hell and there was an eeriness to the house.
That evening. Rooms were allocated to my father and Mattie who would share, Chrissy was given a room opposite them and Amy and my mother were put in Mason’s room.
Nixon explained that Mason had bruising and damage to his torso but the main worry was that he’d taken a hit to the head. A hard one. The hospital had put him into a temporary coma. I hadn’t been able to stop the tears at such horrendous news. My whole body was riddled with distress.
The next morning, I felt quite queasy again which was a surprise, as I had hoped the morning sickness side of things had reduced.
Everyone was already up apart from Amy who came downstairs a bit later wearing my mother’s clothes. Mum must have given her something from her holiday case. This made me realise that we had also lost all our stuff in the fire. My nice clothes, Amy’s photographs, our cinema room, everything.
I spent most of that day feeling ill but Nixon was there by my side, making sure I had everything I needed. He kept telling me not to worry when I knew that was exactly what he was doing. Almost to death. I had never seen him so pale. He was also attentive to Amy. His mother was too.
Mum explained that my dad was over at the house with the Chief Fire Officer as they were still trying to establish where the fire started .
Seth and Boyd were not in a good way, they too were in pain. Rachel kept everyone well-fed and attempted to keep people's spirits up. There was a chess game ongoing at one point and cards but the mood in the room revealed that no one’s heart was in either of those games. They were there to try and distract from the harshness of the situation.
As the evening came with still no news, we put the TV on and everyone gathered around to watch it. Either that or stare into space.
Nixon started another discussion about possible arson again. How I hated that word. When my dad returned, he confirmed that arson was what the police suspected and that they were making enquiries and looking at CCTV. My mother didn’t take the news well and didn’t believe it. Wouldn’t allow herself to think that someone would do that to us. The Taylor-Joy family were well-liked in our village.
Everyone went to bed at a similar time. Nixon looked shattered and fell asleep quite quickly. I spent part of that night in the bathroom being sick. At one point the retching was so violent, Nixon woke up and came to help me, holding my hair back and telling me softly how I wasn’t to worry and that everything would be OK.
I slept heavily that night and was awakened in the morning by severe cramping again in my stomach. I opened my eyes to find Nixon wasn’t in bed and therefore must already be up. I hoped that maybe he had heard from the hospital.
As I was about to peel the covers off, there was a knock on the door and Melanie walked in.
“How are you feeling love, Nixon said you’d been up in the night. Do you think it’s a bug?” she questioned, walking forward with a concerned expression. The bedroom door clicked behind her. It should have felt odd, Nixon’s mother standing in his bedroom whilst I was in bed but it didn’t. She wasn’t overly maternal but she was kind and naturally omitted a pleasant energy .
“I’m not sure. I feel OK now though, just tired. Where’s Nixon?” I questioned, pushing myself up into a sitting position.
Melanie came to sit on the bottom of the bed and smiled warmly at me, “He’s taken your sister to the hospital. Mason is awake.”
Her words sent a jet of relief through me, “Oh my goodness. Did he say anything else, is Mason OK?”
“Yes, he’s awake and talking.”
I watched as she placed her hands in her lap. The strain her face had held yesterday had lessened. The pain she must have gone through thinking of her son unconscious in hospital must have been indescribable. And yet she had welcomed my family into her home with open arms. I felt sad that I hadn’t known her for longer.
“It sounds positive and he was able to go to the bathroom by himself. I must admit I was terrified of a back injury but it sounds like he’s just bruised. He asked for Amy first. He must love her very much,” she whispered. Her voice was so soft and calming. “Who would have thought that two of my boys would fall for Taylor-Joy girls? And after all that nonsense with the boundary.”
I smiled in agreement. Why on earth our families had been so distant over the last few years was beyond me. All over a silly bit of land. We were all good people. The kindness of strangers and all that. As we sat there, I realised that the problems stopped when Mitchell became ill. This suggested that he may have been the instigator and the one to keep that old grudge alive.
As I shuffled forward, I felt a twinge of discomfort and a sticky sensation between my legs and my smile faded.
Melanie saw it and placed a reassuring hand close to my foot on top of the duvet, “Are you OK?” She asked, her eyes searching my face.
I was puzzled, and slowly peeled the covers down off my body. I felt exhausted.
Pulling the duvet off, I lowered my feet to the floor and stood .
“Oh dear, it’s OK. It will wash,” Melanie said as she too came to her feet. I glanced back toward the bed, my confusion increasing.
And that is when I saw it.
There was a patch of blood on the sheets, a crimson slash, standing stark against the whiteness of the cotton.
Alarm shot through me and my legs wobbled. Melanie grabbed my arm, “Jenna?” she questioned.
Shaking my head, I stared down at the stain, “That’s not—I mean, it can’t be—I’m not on my period,” I informed her in a shaky voice.
Understanding entered her expression before I informed her of our news, that secret we had told no one, “Melanie. I’m pregnant.”
As I dropped that bombshell, a variety of emotions flashed over her face. Concern, worry, shock, disbelief. Did she know about Nixon’s injury and believed he couldn’t have kids?
It felt sticky between my legs, and I glanced down at my nighty which was also marked with blood, although not as much as what stained the bedding.
The shock of seeing the blood so close to my skin almost tore a hole in my composure.
“Are you in any pain?” Melanie questioned, concerned underlining every word.
I took a step back, looking at the stain on the bedding, fight or flight kicking in.
Shaking my head, I told her, “No. But, is there supposed to be that much?”
“Maybe you should sit down, I’ll go and get your mum,” Melanie panted, moving away toward the door.
“No, please. Don’t. She doesn’t know and she’s got enough to deal with. Please. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Do you think I should go to the hospital?”
Melanie’s face was now stern, “Absolutely. That’s quite a lot of blood Jenna, that isn’t spotting,” she pointed out. I remember the doctor saying that small flecks of blood were a usual occurrence early on in a pregnancy. My heart started to thump against my chest like it was trying to break out.
“How far along are you?”
“A few weeks,” I said, worry lining my gut.
This shot her into action, “Right, do you want to use the bathroom and get dressed? I’m taking you to the hospital. Are you sure you don’t want me to tell your parents?”
“No, please. If you could just take me that would be great. I don’t want any fuss. I just can’t handle my mum right now,” I replied with a slight sob.
Melanie looked at me then with such sympathy, “Jenna,” she began slowly. “There is a lot of blood. You do understand that don’t you?”
“What are you saying?” I was confused.
She grimaced as if she regretted her words, “Look. Just get ready. Do you need help dressing?”
“No, I’m not in any pain or anything.” And it was strange as I wasn’t. I remembered feeling some discomfort during the fire.
“OK. That’s good. Otherwise, I think it would be wise to call an ambulance.”
“The doctor said that I may have some bleeding early on,” I explained, trying to reassure her.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure it will be fine. Let’s just get you to the doctor.” And after that, she just disappeared out of the room, leaving me to get ready.
I used the bathroom with my heart in my mouth, carefully cleaning between my legs and then pulling on my underwear. I placed some tissue in my knickers just in case and pulled on loose-fitting jogging bottoms and a jumper. Pushing my feet into sliders, I then grabbed my phone and bag and went downstairs to find Nixon’s mother. She was waiting inside the kitchen with Rachel and she beckoned me though .
We left the house through the backdoor by the kitchen. Melanie said that she had told the others that we were going for groceries. Everyone knew the good news about Mason and the house was less fraught.
Once she’d helped me into the car, she walked around the front. Our eyes met through the glass and I saw that look of panic in her eyes, it was deeply rooted and scared the life out of me.
She thought I was losing the baby. And at the back of my mind, buried deep, I knew there was a good chance that she could be right.
And my heart shattered into a thousand pieces.