Chapter 18
Instead, I crash my body against his in an unexpected turn of events that even my mind doesn’t have time to absorb my actions. My lips crush his in both desperation and passion, and I give my everything in this kiss. Every nerve in my body feels like it’s on fire.
Fuck off!
I scream back at my subconscious, telling me this is a mistake. Yet, this feels like the most correct thing I’ve ever done in my life. In this moment I release every chain that has held me back. There are no more crossroads because I’ve gone full steam ahead.
Haze’s heavy hand grips the back of my neck, holding me close, making sure I don’t pull away because he knows the battle my conscience is making in my head.
I want him.
I love him.
I need him.
Haze has fucking imprinted himself on my goddamn soul, and there’s nothing I can do to fight him off.
I drop my bag to the floor. He pushes me inside the room, kicking the bag with us, and the door slams shut.
Sliding one hand upward over his arm, onto his strong round shoulders, I curl it around the back of his neck as I continue to claim his delicious lips, and I moan from the intense emotions inside me.
I pull him tighter if it’s physically possible, losing myself in his mouth and body. This feels so damn good, he tastes so salacious, and the sounds that leave his throat as I suck his tongue drives me insane.
He releases my mouth with a hungry growl, pressing his forehead to mine. Our eyes lock, and I’ve never felt so vulnerable with the kind of intensity his eyes burn over me.
“I want to be part of your deepest, darkest desires.”
His breath leaves him with a heavy sigh at my declaration.
“You sure you’re ready, princess?”
This is crazy. It’s insane.
I make a slight nod of my head.
Haze pulls back, leaving our bodies just barely separated, and I bite my lip in anticipation of what I’ve signed myself up for. I gaze up at him through my lashes.
“Fuck, princess,” he whispers, and that’s all it takes for him to crash his lips back on mine.
He’s demanding in this kiss, and I’m more than happy to return the desire and let him lead. His tongue tangles with mine in this highly potent erotic kiss. He slides his hands to the nape of my neck, his fingers grip my hair, and he tilts my head back. My back arches and I grab the front of his T-shirt, gripping it to help ground myself as I feel his arousal growing through his fitted denim jeans. The lightheaded and breathless feeling yanks at me hard.
In no time, Haze has me out of my clothes, and the only thing he’s delaying is my thong, but the damn thing is already uncomfortably wet. He groans as I’m pushed up against the closed door, his body crushing mine. I go to slide my hands under his shirt, and in one swift move, he’s gripping both my wrists in his massive hand and forcing them above my head, holding them firmly against the wood behind me.
He swipes his tongue against my mouth but doesn’t linger. His tongue continues to travel south to my collarbone, and his free hand cradles my breast, pressing his palm against my hard nipple, causing me to groan unapologetically for his lips to replace his hand.
There’s no need to question what I want. I’m nude and desperate for him to act on everything he professed in that soul-felt declaration earlier.
His fingers explore my breast, softly caressing my nipple as his mouth slowly slithers its way down to where I want his lips to go.
I feel his tongue trace the outline of my nipple, and the sensation trickles down my core as my back attempts to arch, but the strength of his body holds me back against the door.
I’m about to self-detonate at any minute.
He pinches my nipple, and I feel the warmth of his tongue finally flick it. The tantalizing touch feeds my arousal even further, and a light, breathy moan leaves me as I try to remove my arm from his grip, but Haze is fucking strong. He’s fit and athletic, overpowering my attempt to break free and touch him.
“I need you naked,” I whisper, my voice ragged with desperation for more.
“Patience, princess,” he mumbles over my breast, still savoring me, exploring me with every intention of taking his time.
“Goddamn you, Haze,” I thrust my body into him with obvious frustration, but the massive log that he is hardly moved.
He chuckles against my skin and leans back up to face me. Our eyes meet, and I get caught up in his mesmerizing gaze, fully aware of the storm brewing between us. He leans in, brushing my hair off my shoulder. I can feel his warm breath on my skin as he moves closer to my ear.
“Get on your knees, suck my cock, and show me how much you need me naked to fuck you.”
Before I can question him, he bites my earlobe, knowing precisely what the sly move does to me.
He remembers, as did Ash last night.
How much baggage have they all carried around these past ten years?
The truth sinks in even further, deeper, and more profound than I have realized ring true in my life.
“You never let me go,” I whisper, my mind so aware of the truth.
“Way too precious to do that, luv.”
And just like that, a weight is lifted off my conscience, and I finally feel free, as if the monotone prison cell I cast myself in a long time ago has suddenly kicked me out, and I see color for the first time.
Haze’s hands take hold of each of my wrists and let my arms down slowly, leaning his body against mine until my hands are by my sides.
He lets go of me and takes a step back to tackle with the fastening of his jeans and pushes them down his hips. He lifts his T-shirt off his body and tosses it aside. I never noticed it before because I didn’t allow myself to linger my sight long enough on his skin.
The surprise is etched all over my face like a silent exclamation point.
“You lasered off all your tats except the one on your ribs.”
“I didn’t have that many to begin with, but they all reminded me of a life that was no longer there.”
“But you left that one.” My voice softens as I observe that beautiful snake and apple design inked on the upper side of his ribs.
“I had plans to get it removed last. Then the first prick of the laser snapped on it and I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t erase your memory with a simple laser beam.”
Haze is right, and I realize this now. You can’t just erase a love just because it lingers on inside you. You just learn to live with it, but it does have the potential to consume from within, or you choose to act on your emotions.
My eyes travel down to his hand as he reaches inside his jersey boxer shorts and magically pulls out his hard dick.
Massive would be an understatement. It’s thick, velvety, smooth and erect. The dark blonde fuzz below his V-line is trimmed and left as a short stubble, but it’s the rounded shape of the weeping tip of his peen that brings out every feeling inside me into a lustful groan. Do I remember this cock being so beautiful?
Is it even possible to describe a penis as a thing of beauty?
I’m choosing to act on my emotions and drop to my knees because something so holy needs to be worshipped, and I lick my lower lip and suck on it, remembering how I once adored him.
Hello there, I mentally say to it as I tilt my head to admire the size.
I’m going to reacquaint myself with you.
It twitches as if it recognizes me.
“Spread your legs, Haze,” I demand, and he allows me the space I need to push my ass off the back of my leg and reach out, wrapping my hand firmly around his cock.
He is so thick my hand can’t even close around him.
My thumb casually caresses the slit, spreading his clear pre-cum around his rounded tip. My eyes travel upward and lock onto his burning stare as I lean in and drag my tongue across his slit. My other hand travels south and cups his crown jewels—a phrase I’ve heard all four men use to describe their balls.
Crown jewels, royal jewels. Quite fitting for such.
Another deep groan vibrates from him. This time, I can almost feel it resonate through his entire body.
I want to taste every inch of him, and I remove my grip as I slowly slide my entire mouth down the length of him, my tongue swirling and my teeth gently grazing against his skin, exactly how I know it’ll fucking excite him like a lightening rod striking the night, supercharged and explosive.
He was way too dear to me to never forget or stop loving either.
I know how to undo this man and make him shed every harsh layer he has.
One by one, I will unpeel him until we’re both raw and exposed, and only then will we understand the intensity of what we’re committing ourselves to.
The pulse on the thick vein of his cock is throbbing, and his dick is twitching in my mouth with enthusiasm as he lightly thrusts his hips against my face, trying his best not to come so fast in my mouth. But I control this right now.
I pull my head back just enough so that the tip of his cock remains in my mouth. Holding him there, swirling my tongue over him, tracing every part of the tip, I pull down his jeans and drop them to his ankles. I do the same with his shorts.
My mouth is never leaving his cock.
I undo the laces on both his boots, and he lifts each foot so I can slide them off. He does the same for his remaining clothes and socks, and I finally allow him to pull his pelvis away from me.
Reaching down, he pulls me to stand up and leans into me, crashing his lips against mine, and I take everything he gives me and return the same passion in triple form.
We’re not being polite or cautious about this; we’re mouth fucking each other to the point where I can hardly breathe. My arms wrap around him, and I can’t seem to control my hands. I desperately want to touch every part of this man and explore every ridge and valley of the hard muscle I feel against my body.
Haze is freaking ripped, not massive like the Hulk, but he’s got enough definition to make me want to slide my tongue all over his chest and torso and claim him mine.
Fuck, after what he said, he is mine.
“Take me,” I declare. “I’m yours. Goddamn it, Haze. I’m fucking yours,” I moan into his mouth.
I feel his hands wander to my ass, he lifts me up, and I automatically wrap my legs around him as he carries me to the bed and lets me down slowly as I slide down his body.
“Good,” he says. “Because other than my bandmates, no other person will ever claim you. You belong to me, Eden. Remember that when I fuck you, I possess every fucking bit of you.”
He spins me around so fast to face the edge of the bed. Wrapping one arm around me, he pushes himself up hard against me, his arm preventing me from falling forward from the power he uses over me.
Haze sweeps my hair across my shoulder, and I feel his hot breath as he leans in close to kiss my neck, his hand around my body, grasps my breast, and I moan as another hand reaches out and slithers down the front of my thong.
“So fucking wet for me, princess,” he breathes out as he slips his fingers inside to stroke me.
Pulling out of me, he inserts a finger in his mouth and groans like it’s the best flavor he’s ever tried.
His hands move to my hips, shoves my thong down my thighs, and keeps pushing it until it drops to my ankles. He steps between my legs to keep the garment down, I step out of them, and he kicks them to the side.
“Go lie on your stomach in the middle of the bed,” he says, and I don’t hesitate. I do as I’m told.
I feel the edge of the mattress dip as he gets on the bed behind me. His knees push my thighs to part, and his arms hook under them as he crashes his mouth against my slit and swipes one lick from end to end with a focus on my clit.
I let out a groan to confirm my excitement for everything he does to me. He licks, sucks, and worships every part of my cunt, and I’m already feeling the tingling sensation of my orgasm as it reaches its height.
“Oh fuck, don’t stop. Please…don’t….” I lose my words as my climax comes down, crashing on me as I scream it out.
“Haze, oh fuck! Haze!” I fist the bedcover tight as if my life depends on it. My body goes into a convulsion as the waves sweep through me like a freaking tsunami.
But Haze is relentless. He’s working his mouth and fingers and is going to leave me with nothing to complain about. He is the sexiest man I’ve ever fucked, and he’s loving my pussy with so much enthusiasm a tear escapes my eye, and I’m happy he hasn’t seen it.
He turns me around to face him, to witness the lust and desire he has as his eyes burn a blaze toward my inner self.
I wrap my legs around him, pulling him down to encourage him to fuck me.
He forces himself between my legs, and I reach up, wrap my hand around his neck, yanking him down to my lips. And with one strong thrust, he invades my body, and my eyes open in search of him.
There he is, his bright blue eyes shining with lust and love.
“I want to be the woman you’ll only ever want.”
“You will always be that woman, princess,” He groans as he pulls out and pushes back in.
His forehead presses against mine.
“Always,” he releases another low, resonant groan as he squeezes his eyes shut, continuing his pounding pace.
He feels me clench and opens his eyes, feeling the telltale signs that I’m about to come. Without pulling out, he unwraps my legs around him, pushes his body upwards, and lifts one of my legs over his shoulder. He continues to slide himself in and out of me, but this time, he’s aiming for a specific spot inside me, and when I gasp, he smiles a self-satisfactory grin.
His pace becomes faster, harder, pushing firmer against my pelvis, making sure to rub his body against my clit and his dick against my G-spot. He’s determined to unravel me, fuck me into the mattress, making his claim on my soul.
Rocking his hips against every sensitive part of me, he knows I’m reaching the finale now.
“You feel so good,” he’s breathing deep. “Come on my cock, baby.”
I look straight at him as my mind goes blank and stars burst in my eyes, and I cry out my pleasure as every one of my nerve endings goes haywire.
“Fuck!” I scream it out because another wave is about to explode, even more significant than the last.
There is no end to his pounding. He knows what he’s doing, and he’s relentless.
My mind is spiraling out of control. I come hard for him, screaming once more.
“I can’t, Haze. Not again. Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
I go over the edge just as he finds his release and collapses over me, taking care not to crush me.
We pant as we cling to each other, wet with sweat, our hearts racing wildly together, and he pushes himself upwards to linger and stare.
He smiles as he hovers over me. Brilliant and beautiful.
“I know you better than you think,” he says, and I feel his cock pull out of me.
He collapses to the side of the bed next to me. As we both find our breaths back, I go to sit up, and he hooks one arm around me, drawing me back to him. He embraces me in his arms.
“Where do you think you’re going, princess?”
“I guess I’ll be staying right here.”
“That’s exactly where I want you to be. Right by my side because I’m in no way finished showing you how much you mean to me.”
I raise a brow and look at him skeptically.
“I lost count of how many times you made me come. I need a break.”
He draws me tight against him and kisses my bare shoulder.
“Take a nap, but when you awake, expect to find me between your legs, where I permanently belong, feasting on your delicious pussy. That taste I had of you was only a sample. I intend to dine on you.”
“Fuck,” I whisper.
“I intend to do more than that,” he says, brushing a stray strand of hair stuck on my sweaty face.