Chapter 31
Dmitri
It takes almost forty-five minutes before we finally drag ourselves out of bed. Eric was starved for touch despite us sleeping twisted tighter than a pair of shoelaces. Every time I stopped playing with his hair or rubbing his back, he'd nudge me with his head and wiggle until I started again.
Once you get past his tough outer shell, Eric’s love language is snuggles.
Chatter comes from the living room as we make our way downstairs, and we find the rest of the band hanging out with Eric's parents. Susan smiles when she sees us, then jumps up to wrap Eric in a hug.
“Welcome to the land of the living, sleepyheads!” she teases.
“Sorry,” Eric mumbles, crushed in his mother’s embrace. “Last night wore me out.”
Tai catcalls, and Eric and I both blush furiously. “The show,” Eric stresses. “I was exhausted from the show!”
Susan shoots an admonishing glance at Tai, but he only grins and shrugs, unapologetic.
She shakes her head with a fond smile as she nods toward the kitchen.
“You boys missed breakfast, but your plates are in the fridge. You needed your sleep.” We reheat our breakfast then crash at the table, and after a few minutes, the guys join us while Eric’s parents go outside to get some work done.
“Is the farm their whole job?” Theo asks, watching them walk hand-in-hand toward the barn.
Eric shakes his head. “Nah, this is just for fun.”
“Fun,” Theo spits, no doubt remembering his tussle with the rooster.
Eric grins, but doesn't bring it up. “Dad’s a mechanic and Mom works as a high school guidance counselor. They took time off while we’re here.”
“She must have the patience of a saint,” Dante says. “High school kids are assholes.”
“Speak for yourself.” Theo smacks Dante’s shoulder as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. “I’ll have you know, I was just as pleasant in high school as I am now.”
“So, not at all, then?” Tai asks.
Theo scoffs and puts his hands on his hips. “So rude.”
“Has anyone read reviews from last night’s show?” I ask as I pull my phone out.
Dante nods as he scrolls. “Yeah, I found a few saying it was our best performance yet. Eric was on fire.” Agreements chirp from around the table, and I bump Eric's shoulder with mine. He tries to pretend he isn’t preening under the compliments.
Tai digs through his phone. “There were definitely a few about the… what was it they called it? Ah, here it is. ‘The sexual tension thick enough to choke the crowd between Sticks and Eric.’”
“They’re not wrong,” I mutter as I nip at his earlobe. Nestled against his neck, I continue to read, and stumble upon the original post that freaked Eric out so badly. When I flash him my screen, his body tenses as he scans over it.
“Jesus,” he mutters as my free hand runs up and down his arm.
“Hmm?” Theo asks from across the table.
“That initial post about the two of us? It’s been shared over eight thousand times now. Looks like it's making rounds again after last night.” Eric's throat bobs in a rough swallow, his nerves making him rigid.
“Hey,” I whisper, dragging my nose up the column of his neck. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Nobody's saying anything bad, Eric. And even if they were, fuck 'em, right? All that matters is that we’re happy.” His guardedness gradually gives way, and after a moment he nods and presses his lips to mine. That tiny pause has my insecurities flaring, and I pull back to look into his eyes. “You are happy with me, aren’t you?”
“Are you serious right now?” Eric demands as he straddles my lap, and the creak of the wooden chair makes me question its weight limit. “Do you really have to ask that?”
My throat bobs in a swallow as I play my vulnerability off with a shrug. “Maybe I just want to hear your answer?”
Eric leans in and presses a gentle kiss to my lips. “You make me happier than I’ve ever been. You complete me.”
A quiet laugh breaks free of the knot in my throat, lessening the tension between us. “Did you just Jerry McGuire me?”
The smile that creeps across his face is more genuine this time. “Sure did. What's the verdict? Did it work?”
My own smile grows as I weave my fingers through his hair. “Sure did.”
The guys groan, and someone throws a sock at us, so we finally break apart, though Eric stays tucked under my arm.
A rain shower moves in, gently tapping on the windows and giving us the perfect reason for a lazy day of lounging and rest. After dinner we curl up to watch a movie with the guys, and before long Eric dozes off with his head in my lap.
His hair is extra curly from the rain, wrapping around my fingers as I run them through. He nuzzles into the touch, a soft hum of contentment vibrating against my thigh.
We're sheltered here, safe from the world.
Safe from the opinions and commentary of others.
I wish life could always be this uncomplicated, but I know it won't be.
Eric is acting unaffected, keeping his usual easy front, but every time I catch him glancing at his phone, I wonder if he regrets that impulsive show of affection.
Despite his reassurances, the pressure is mounting, and I keep waiting for him to reach his breaking point.
Unless something gives, it will all be too much at some point.
He will break.
Even the mightiest of trees become nothing more than toothpicks with enough strikes of an axe, and I can’t lose him.
Not again.
Careful not to wake him, I ease off the couch and slip outside onto the porch.
Raindrops hit the metal roof in loud, rhythmic plunks, and the rich, earthy scent of wet grass and fresh rain fills the air as the sun dips behind the horizon.
A handful of pale rays break through the clouds, grazing my cheeks with faint warmth before they slip away.
My soul screams for release as the sky deepens into night. Emotions too large for my body churn beneath my skin, wild and urgent, desperate to be let out. Desperate to be shouted into the open and set free.
My fingers itch for motion, and my heart aches to speak its truth.
I step back inside and close myself in the den. My fingertips trail along the ivory keys of the upright piano, smooth and worn from years of touch. I pause at the window above it, watching raindrops trace slow paths down the glass like quiet tears.
Drums may be my weapon of choice for the band, but piano was my first love.
I take a seat on the bench and splay my hands over the familiar keys.
Soft melodies fill the air as I become acquainted with the instrument, and the music flows effortlessly from my fingertips as I immerse myself in the rhythm.
Piano has always carried a sense of complex power and majesty.
Delicate when it needs to be, the strings can paint a vivid picture of peaceful serenity, love and life and happiness, while the powerful strokes tell stories of anything from profound pain and sadness to blistering anger.
If you listen hard enough, music always has a story to tell.
And tonight, I need to tell mine.
My heart leads as I play with more force, punching the keys like I’m using the music to kick-start the beating inside my chest. Like I can pump life into everything I’m feeling, make it real, if I can just keep going.
Inject the force that sparks my spirit into the notes.
I play until I’m sure my very soul is leaving my fingertips, the sound swelling until it feels like it’s carrying pieces of me out into the open.
Before long, a new melody comes to me. It’s one of Eric’s songs that we’ve never performed, one he hums or sings under his breath often when he’s alone with his thoughts.
I’m barely into the intro when I sense a presence behind me.
Eric doesn’t say a word, just settles next to me on the bench and watches as my fingers dance across the ivories.
“I love this song,” he finally says, his voice full of something I can’t decipher.
“I know,” I whisper back, not looking away from the keys.
“And I love listening to you play.”
Emotion clogs my throat as I nod, unsure how to explain to him exactly how I’m feeling right now, and wondering if there are actually words to describe it.
Does he have any idea what he does to me?
What he is?
When I hit the heavy chords of the chorus, he sings along quietly, but oh so powerful.
“We collide like stars forged in the same dying breath.” He holds the long notes beautifully, the slight vibrato making goosebumps spread across my arms, and my eyes prickle as he jumps into the next line.
“Two hearts carved from silence, begging the dark for rest."
My vision blurs as tears well in my eyes, and one slips out, hot against my cheek.
Eric's gaze is so intense it sears my skin, but I don’t stop playing. We circle back to the chorus for the second time, and he sings, his voice breaking as he watches another tear loose itself from my eye.
“Dmitri,” he whispers, reaching over to wipe them away. “I love this song,” he says again, barely loud enough for me to hear.
“You mentioned that,” I respond with a half-smile that turns wobbly as I play the fading exit.
“It reminds me of us. Two stars, colliding in the sky.”
“Carved from the silence?”
After a few breaths with only the soft sounds of the piano as a soundtrack, he asks, “Do you know what happens when two stars collide?”
I shake my head. “I imagine it’s something incredible. Maybe a little violent.”
Like us.
His hushed, huffing laugh tells me he's having the same thought. “If the circumstances are just right, they create a new star that's even brighter. They combine into something amazing… something so beautiful it overshadows everything else around it.”
“Are we the stars?”
He hums quietly. “I like to think so.”
I finally look away from the piano, losing myself in the golden specks that sprinkle the green backdrop of his eyes. “And how did our circumstances line up? What did we turn into?”
His smile is sweet, so much gentler than normal, as he reaches up and swipes at another tear tracking down my cheek. “The most brilliant star out there. Ever since the day I met you, I thought your smile was brighter than the sun. I knew I was going to get burnt by your light.”
“I’d never burn you,” I insist. “I never want to hurt you.” A flood of sorrow rushes my chest as I remember the pain I caused him all those years ago, and my eyes squeeze closed.
“I know,” he whispers.
Our foreheads press together, and I realize my hands have moved from the keys to hold the nape of his neck.
“Look at me,” he whispers, and my eyes open obediently to lock on his. “This can’t be normal.”
“What can’t be?” I ask.
“The way my heart pounds every single time I look at you. How I want to touch you every minute of every day, and how I feel like I might actually die if I don’t kiss you.” His thumb swipes over my lower lip again. “These lips are fatal, baby, because I can’t survive without them.”
He pulls me so close that we’re breathing the same air, but he doesn’t kiss me yet, just continues to obliterate my heart with his words.
“What I feel for you goes beyond the boundaries of the entire fucking universe. All those stars? Millions and millions of them out there, floating in that endless sky? They have nothing on this. Nothing.”
My eyes shut again as more tears streak my face.
“You’re it for me, Dmitri. They always say you know when you discover that once-in-a-lifetime love, and the instant I saw your smile, I knew it was true. You are everything to me.”
My heart slams inside my chest, reaching for its other half. This love is all-encompassing, altering the very fabric of my existence, and I refuse to spend another minute not telling him he is the most significant part of me.
“I always thought I'd be the one with the grand declaration,” I manage to get out.
Eric chokes on a wet laugh as he nods and wipes a tear from his eye. “It's always got to be a competition with us.”
“I guess you won this time,” I say as he tugs me forward, arms wrapping around each other and pulling until we're closer than we've ever been. “I love you,” I whisper against his kiss. “I’ve always loved you.”
His fingers clutch my shirt, and he nods as he turns my world inside out. “Show me.”