Chapter 32
Eric
The door to my bedroom closes with a soft click, and I turn to find Dmitri staring at me. The moonlight casts a gentle glow on his face, illuminating every proud plane and soft contour until he feels otherworldly.
Beautiful and raw.
I swipe away the tears from both his cheeks. “Why are you crying?” I whisper.
He gives me a smile so tender, I'm convinced it might break me. “Everything feels unbelievably perfect right now. I’m afraid to blink. What if closing my eyes shatters the illusion?”
I step closer and take his hand. “What do you mean?”
Dmitri shakes his head with a choked laugh. “I have this constant fear that you'll be taken away from me. Like one day I might wake up and realize it’s all been a figment of my imagination, or a dream I’ve conjured. Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll wake up and find myself back in that dark place.”
“What dark place?”
He refocuses like he’s coming out of a fog and he smiles again, but the underlying sorrow still stains his eyes. “Anywhere without you is dark, Eric. You keep calling me the sun, but you’ve got it backwards. Everything’s shadows and empty when you're not here. It’s missing its light.”
“Are you kidding me right now?” I demand.
“I’m moody and cranky, and my outlook in life is pretty much always negative.
My factory settings are to be an irritable asshole, and you know this, D.
How many times have you been a victim of my short temper?
” A scornful laugh leaves me as I dart my eyes toward the ground, shaking my head.
“And like that’s not enough, I can't even love you without worrying about the world finding out. You deserve more than what I can offer.”
“I don't—”
“You do,” I interrupt. “You deserve someone who shows you off and fawns over you, not my bad moods and insecurity. It's so fucking selfish of me to keep you, and a better man would know that. But I don't care. I want you too much. Is that wrong?”
Dmitri tugs me into the warmth of his arms and presses his lips to mine.
They're salty with the remnants of tears clinging to his skin. “Nothing with you could ever be wrong,” he murmurs. “Not when I love you so much that I can’t breathe, or move, or even fucking think. I can’t do anything but love you. ”
“I wish I could be more for you.”
He spins us in a whirl and backs me up to the bed, and when my knees meet the mattress, he guides me down onto it and climbs over me to canopy my body.
“Listen to me,” he murmurs as he kisses up the pillar of my neck and around my ear.
“Hear me when I say I have loved you since the second I saw you and fell into your eyes. Even knowing I could never have you, I was gone for you.”
He yanks his shirt over his head before doing the same with mine, and then he’s back on top of me, kissing along the hinge of my jaw.
“I tried to stop, you know. For years, I tried to stop loving you, but I couldn’t.
You are in every part of me, and I don't know how to turn it off. I don't think I ever will.”
Heat ignites everywhere we touch—his fingers on my cheek, bare chest molded to mine, thigh pressing between my legs in slow, deliberate slides. “I need you,” I whisper, and it’s pure electric shock as his lips claim mine. “Dmitri, please.”
“Please what?”
My hand tightens in his hair, tugging him back so our eyes never break. “Give me everything. I need all of you.”
A long, low, desperate moan rolls from his chest as he surges back into me. His hips drop against mine, and the friction has me aching and hard beneath my shorts. My hands slip behind him, gripping the flexing muscles of his ass to guide every slow, purposeful roll against me.
He pulls away from the kiss, lips tracing down my neck and over my sternum. His tongue circles my nipple rings before he catches one in his teeth, tugging harder each time. Each sharp pull sends a hot line straight to my cock, making it flex and throb with every jolt of pain-laced pleasure.
He manipulates me like a puppet master, switching between sides as I arch my back and reach for any point of contact I can find, desperate to feel more of him.
With a final stinging bite to my nipple, his mouth continues downward until he nuzzles his nose into the soft trail of hair leading south from my navel.
“God, baby,” I groan as he inhales deeply.
There’s a suggestive grin on his face as he hooks my waistband, the bulge of my cock pressing against his chin. “Lift your hips, love,” he orders.
I immediately obey as he yanks my shorts and underwear down in a single, determined tug. He climbs off me and pulls the fabric from my legs, leaving me completely exposed with nothing but sun-kissed skin on display before him.
He drops over me again, kissing along the crease between my hip and thigh. “You know, being here gives a whole new significance to your farmer’s tan.”
I glance down at my chest and thighs, three shades paler than the rest of my body. “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”
His smile brightens his whole face and melts away the traces of his earlier stress. “Among other things.”
He collects the pearly droplets clinging to my swollen crown with a few slow swipes of his tongue.
“Fuck,” I groan, knees falling farther apart as my ass flexes, and my overeager cock bumps his cheek.
He lets out a soft chuckle before taking me between his lips, creating a gentle suction that makes my toes curl.
I try to arch into his mouth, but his palms press firm on my thighs, holding me pinned.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he takes more of me, sliding down my length by an inch before pulling up and gliding his tongue around the sensitive ridge of my crown.
By the time his lips meet the base, I’m a whimpering mess, pushing my body off the mattress as I try to bury myself deeper.
He sucks up and off my cock, letting it fall onto my stomach. “Eric, look at me.” My head cranes off the bed, eyes blown wide as I stare at him between my legs, palming his erection through his shorts. “I made you a promise that day on the rocks. Do you remember what I said?”
“Shit,” I grunt, nodding and licking my lips. “How could I forget when I think about it twenty times a day? You said you’d fuck me… promised it’d be soon.”
He leans over my body again, his finger swiping over the seam of my lips before pushing between them.
My tongue twirls around that finger as he swirls it through my mouth, coating it thoroughly.
Once he’s satisfied, he pulls it out with a pop.
Dripping with spit, he shifts lower and rubs gently over my hole.
“That’s right, baby. I said I’d fuck you when I could lay you out and take my time with you.” As his finger slides inside me, I let out a soft moan and drop my head back onto the bed. “And I plan on doing just that, Eric. But first, I need to hear from you.”
My head flies up as he pumps that single finger in and out of me, each drag pulling a low sound from my throat. “Wha… what?”
He reaches for his backpack, rummaging in the side pocket and pulling out the lube. The lid pops open with a small creak and he pours some over my opening, cool slickness contrasting the heat before he spreads it with slow fingers. “I’m going to work you open while we have a chat.”
“You expect me to fucking talk right now?” I gasp, chest heaving as I stare at him wide-eyed. “While you’re fingering my ass?”
“I do,” he says with a nod, and my cock strains off my body as he adds a second finger. He scissors them, stretching me slowly, and a spurt of pre-cum trickles warm down my length.
My brain is reduced to nothing but a horny mush of gray matter, and he wants to have a conversation?
He licks his lips, some of his bravado vanishing as he watches me.
“Your first time is a big deal. Don't try to pretend it isn’t. This is something you can’t take back, and I have to make sure it’s what you want.
Everything else we’ve done could be dismissed as curiosity…
but not this. I need you to be so fucking sure, baby, because I refuse to be the reason you ever look back and wish you hadn’t. ”
I understand what he leaves unsaid. After this, there’s no going back to how I was before. My life as a straight man is in the past. But that side of me has been gone for a long time now—since the day Dmitri woke up in my bed. Hell, since the night of the Kappa Sigma party.
I lift onto my elbows, and his eyes don't leave mine. “This isn’t a game to me. Not some experiment. I want this… want you.”
His swallow is rough as he nods, and he stretches me further as if to prove a point. “It might hurt. You might be overwhelmed.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me, Dmitri.”
“Not on purpose,” he agrees. “But you’ve only had my fingers before now, and, well… my cock’s a lot bigger than my fingers.”
“Damn straight it is,” I say with a teasing grin.
He huffs a laugh and shakes his head. “I don’t want you to regret it.”
I reach for him, and he leans in so I can brush my fingers over his cheek. “I’d never regret a thing with you. Never.”
A third finger joins the other two and I gasp, arching my hips as my dick flexes again.
Intent on preparing me, he moves at a deliberately slow pace until I’m on the edge of madness.
“Your body is so responsive,” he praises as he bumps my prostate, and a small, shimmering pool of pre-cum forms on my stomach.
“I’ve got condoms, but I’ve also been tested since the last time I was with anyone, and I’m negative. ”
I nod emphatically. “Same. I don’t want anything between us. Never again.”
All three of his fingers sink into me to the final knuckle, and I feel every inch of the stretch as I rock into him. “One last thing,” he says, unable to hide his grin as I glare at him impatiently. “If it gets to be too much and you need me to stop or slow down, promise me you’ll speak up.”
Before he even finishes speaking, I’m nodding enthusiastically. “I swear.”
“Alright, baby,” he says as he pulls his fingers free. “You’re ready.”