FOURTEEN
‘DID YOU EVER GET an answer from Leif about Ashley Hart?’ Yuto puts his phone down and swivels his chair round to face me.
‘Mmm?’ I lift my head from the promotional packs I’m putting together for Austria. ‘Oops … No. Sorry, I completely forgot.’
My stomach lurches in a way I’m not prepared for.
I haven’t spoken to Leif in a week, not since our almost kiss on the seafront.
Once my new tyres were done, we parted ways and I haven’t had any promotional stuff for him to do in the meantime.
Or at least I haven’t asked him to do any.
Also, I’ve been busy helping Vienna charm another potential sponsor, a finance company with a long acronym name that I keep forgetting.
It’s not like I’ve been avoiding him exactly. I’ve just been … working.
‘Leif’s not seeing anyone, is he?’ Yuto asks.
‘I don’t know.’ I try to sound nonchalant. ‘But it’s only a publicity thing, isn’t it?’
‘I think so, but who knows? Maybe celebrities have a hard time meeting people. Anyway, Nathan wants someone to go and find out what Leif thinks.’
‘Well, I can’t right now.’ I drop my gaze because I have a horrible feeling I know where this is going. ‘I have these packs to finish.’
‘Yeah, the thing is, he says Leif’s turned his phone off and Kelsey’s not answering hers, which means they’re probably in the gym, and I have a Teams meeting in about two minutes, so …’
‘If Leif’s not answering his phone, maybe that means he doesn’t want to be disturbed, and I really have so much to do –’
‘I’ll help you with your packs after my meeting.’ Yuto’s expression turns pleading. ‘All Nathan needs is a yes or no. It won’t take long. Just text me when you get an answer and I’ll pass it on.’
‘Yuto …’
‘Please, please, please.’
‘ Urgh .’ I can’t think of any more excuses. ‘Fine, but you owe me.’
‘Yes, I do. You’re my favourite co-worker!’
I stomp out of the office, down the stairs and along a series of winding corridors, slamming doors into walls as I go.
The gym is on the other side of the building, beside the canteen, which still isn’t far enough because I arrive before I have any idea what I’m going to say.
I mean, what can I say? Hi, Leif, so I know we almost kissed and I still haven’t given you an answer about a date yet, but hey, how would you like to go to a movie premiere with some gorgeous actress instead?
It’s not that I haven’t thought about his invitation, because I have.
A lot. I’ve also relived the feeling of his hand on my cheek several hundred times.
I just haven’t decided yet because everything seems to have happened so quickly, and I’m torn.
I’ve also checked my contract, and while dating isn’t forbidden, it’s strongly discouraged.
HR would need to be informed, Vienna too – and what would she think?
I want to impress her and this could look so unprofessional.
Basically, everything about this idea has the potential to send all my future plans spinning off course.
Which is why I should say no – absolutely no – to a date.
The problem is I can’t help remembering the feeling of connection between us that evening by the sea; and how, for the first time, I didn’t stiffen up and panic at the idea of being kissed.
Maybe it was a fluke or maybe I’m just finally ready to date again, but what if it means something more?
It makes me wonder whether us being together might actually … work?
Unless Leif wants to date Ashley Hart instead.
There are too many people about for me to loiter outside the gym, so I go straight in and hover by the door.
The music is so loud there’s no way anybody could have heard me knock, although both Leif and Kelsey are so engrossed in his workout they probably wouldn’t have noticed anyway.
He’s sitting on a balance ball a few metres away, holding a large weight in front of him, tipping it slowly from side to side like he’s turning a steering wheel.
His muscles are straining so hard I can see his veins bulging and there are actual beads of sweat trickling over his arms, making his skin glisten.
As I watch, he grunts, and I feel it deep inside, a hot agitated feeling that would be deeply inappropriate if he hadn’t already asked me on a date …
Suddenly I really want to say yes.
‘Ava?’ He sees me first, his face registering surprise and then something else I can’t identify, before he puts the weight down and gets up.
‘Sorry to interrupt.’ I order myself to get a grip as he turns the music down. ‘But Nathan has an important question to ask you and he says you’ve turned your phone off.’
‘That won’t stop him.’ Leif glances at Kelsey. ‘We’re almost done anyway, right?’
‘Nice try.’ She laughs. ‘We can stop for now, but I want to see you back here this afternoon.’
‘Two workouts a day?’ I look quizzically between them.
‘I only train five days a week, so I need to do extra on three of those days,’ he explains. ‘It means I get weekends to relax.’
‘Within reason.’ Kelsey hands him a towel. ‘Here. You two chat while I clean the machines.’
‘So what’s so urgent?’ Leif asks, standing up and rubbing his face.
‘Right. So, like I said, sorry to intrude …’ I avert my eyes from his pecs as he moves closer, fixing my gaze at a point just beyond his shoulder. ‘It’s about that F1 film premiere next month.’
‘OK?’
‘The thing is …’ I stop and take a deep breath. I’m so uncomfortable right now it aches. ‘Nathan wonders how you’d feel about going to see it with Ashley Hart.’
He looks baffled. ‘I don’t know anyone called that.’
‘She’s an actress, in the film. Her people have been in touch, and she’d like to go with you.’ For Kelsey’s sake, I try to inject some enthusiasm into my voice. ‘If you’re photographed together, it would be good PR for Rask. She has a huge online following.’
‘That’s a great idea.’ Kelsey comes back over to join us. ‘She’s incredibly talented. I’d love to meet her.’
‘Right.’ I nod vigorously. ‘So?’ I force myself to look Leif in the eye. ‘What do you think?’
He stares back at me for several seconds before folding his arms. ‘No.’
‘Why not?’ Kelsey sounds offended on Ashley’s behalf. ‘It could be fun.’
‘I’m not going on a date with a complete stranger.’
‘You might hit it off!’ She rolls her eyes. ‘You know, it wouldn’t hurt you to have a life beyond cars.’
‘I have a life beyond cars.’ He glowers at her.
‘Oh, really? How many cars do you own?’
‘Six.’
‘And how many girlfriends have you had since I’ve known you?’
‘You’ve only known me a year.’ His jaw clenches. ‘I’ve been busy. Driving.’
‘Uh-huh. All I’m saying is that maybe you should start making time for a personal life. Look .’ She pulls up a picture on her phone and shows it to us. Crap. Ashley Hart is even more gorgeous than I remember. Toned, tanned and glowy.
‘I said no.’ Leif’s voice hardens.
‘But …’
‘ No .’
‘Fine.’ Kelsey throws her arms out. ‘I’m going to get a smoothie.’
I bite the inside of my lip as she storms away.
I shouldn’t be happy about Leif’s answer, but I can’t help it.
A warm, fuzzy feeling has just suffused my whole body and I want to hug him.
I actually start to lift my arms before stopping myself.
I can’t, not when I still haven’t made a decision about ‘us’, so instead I wait until Kelsey flings the door open before turning to follow her. ‘I should probably go too.’
‘Wait.’ Leif tosses his towel aside and takes a step closer, gripping the machine next to me with one hand. ‘Is this what you want, for me to go on a date with an actress?’
‘It doesn’t matter what I want.’ I thrust my chin out because I don’t like his tone. It sounds accusatory, like he thinks I actually enjoy asking him any of this. ‘Speaking on behalf of the communications department, it would be good for the team.’
‘What about speaking as you?’
‘I –’
I pause because now that he’s standing right in front of me, the musky scent of him filling my senses, I’m finding it harder to focus.
There’s an intimacy about our position, making everything feel heightened; my pulse is thumping and I have a sudden, overwhelming desire to be half-naked and sweaty too.
Or possibly all naked, pressed up against him …
‘Ava?’ His eyes search mine, ice and fire combined.
‘Speaking as me –’ my voice catches – ‘I don’t like the idea.’
‘Why not?’
I swallow as he moves incrementally closer. Or maybe I’m moving towards him?
‘Because I don’t want you to date anyone else.
’ I press a hand to my mouth in surprise as the words emerge, honest and unfiltered.
Standing this close, only a couple of inches apart, his bicep right next to my face, all my defences come tumbling down.
I can’t help but tell the truth, even if it’s one I’m not entirely comfortable with.
This could be a terrible idea, but right now I can’t bring myself to care.
I’m in the grip of something more powerful, something I want – need – to explore.
‘Neither do I.’ He lifts a hand, gently pulling my fingers away from my mouth.
‘But the thing is,’ I say quickly, ‘I’m not good at this.’
‘This?’
‘Dating. Relationships. This .’
One of his eyebrows lifts. ‘What makes you think that?’
‘It’s just not something I do. And when I’ve tried it … it goes wrong.’ I take an unsteady breath. ‘I find it hard to relax. I guess I’m too uptight.’
‘Ava …’ His brow furrows slightly as he lets go of my hand.
‘If you don’t want to date me, just say so and I’ll respect that.
But if all that’s stopping you is some idea that you’re uptight …
’ He shakes his head. ‘I don’t think that’s true.
I like you. I think we could have something really special. ’
My heart skips a beat because I want to believe that, so badly. But he doesn’t understand. ‘You’d be better off with Ashley Hart.’ I make one last attempt at being sensible. ‘She’d be good for your brand.’
His lips quirk at the corners. ‘There’s a limit to what I’m prepared to do for my brand.’
‘Leif …’
‘Ava …’ He leans forward before I can argue any more, bringing his lips to within a hair’s breadth of mine and then stopping.
The implication is obvious. This has to be my move – my choice.
So I make it. I close the distance between us, kissing him tentatively and catching my breath as I wait for my body to stiffen.
But like before, it doesn’t. Instead I melt.
Our noses nudge together and my lips cling to his like they never want to let go.
I fall into the moment because for the first time in six years I want to be kissed.
Leif’s mouth is warm and his breath soft.
He’s a good kisser – not that I thought he wouldn’t be, I just didn’t think I was the sort of person who could appreciate good kissing.
But I appreciate this so much; I’m already slipping my hands over his shoulders, digging my fingers into his vest so that I can pull us even closer together.
I don’t let my lack of experience stop me.
I want this too much to feel self-conscious.
Desire blooms in me, like a flower unfurling its petals in sunshine, spreading its tendrils along every nerve until my whole body is vibrating with sensation.
I kiss him fiercely, like I’m channelling all this pent-up emotion into one moment.
Now that I’ve let my guard down, I can’t seem to put it back up again.
I want to throw him down on one of the gym mats and do things I’ve never wanted to do with anyone before.
My knees are weak and I can feel my pulse everywhere … in my wrists, my elbows, my throat.
I’m out of control … and I love it.
‘Ava …’ Leif breaks the kiss finally, his breathing more ragged than when he was working out. ‘Kelsey will be back any moment.’
I step away from him, panting just as heavily. He’s right, this isn’t the time or place. I need to pull myself together.
He looks at the door and then back at me. ‘Meet me later?’
I grimace. ‘I have to work.’
‘Afterwards.’
‘We can’t.’ I hate to say it, but one of us has to be sensible. ‘You’re leaving for Austria tomorrow. You need to rest.’
‘Shit.’ He throws one last glance towards the door and then snakes a hand around my waist, hauling me back against him.
Amazingly, this kiss is even hotter than the last. He slips his tongue past my lips and I wrap mine around it, pulling him deeper.
We’re embracing so tightly I can feel his erection pressing against me.
‘ Fuck .’ He murmurs against my mouth because I can’t resist rubbing against him. ‘That feels so good.’
‘I know.’ I give a low moan. I might not have had sex before, but that doesn’t mean I’m inexperienced. I know what I like and, while I don’t need a man to make me feel good, I can’t deny this feels amazing.
‘When I get back …’ he murmurs between kisses.
I nod, then jump back because I can hear voices outside the door, not just Kelsey’s but Yuto’s as well. I exchange a panicked look with Leif. He’s already sitting down again, his towel in his lap, though he grins when he sees me notice.
‘So we’ll talk about it with Vienna?’ he says the moment they enter the room.
‘Vienna?’ I’m so shaken by our kiss it takes me a moment to comprehend what he’s doing. ‘Oh … yes. I’ll tell her.’
‘Hi!’ Yuto comes towards us, lowering his phone from his ear. ‘My meeting didn’t take as long as I expected. Here –’ he passes the phone to Leif – ‘it’s Nathan.’
‘Tell him I’m not here.’
‘Too late.’
‘Fuck.’
‘He said no, right?’ Yuto murmurs to me as Leif takes the phone.
‘He said no,’ I agree.
‘Called it. Hey, are you OK?’ He does a double-take. ‘You look really flushed.’
‘Do I?’ I press a hand to my cheek, like I have no idea my body is still a raging torrent.
‘Yeah. Sorry if I caused another argument between the two of you.’
‘Oh … um, right. Don’t worry about it.’ I wave towards the door. ‘I should probably get back to my press packs anyway.’
‘I’ll come and help as soon as I get my phone back.’
‘Thanks.’ I turn and hurry away. Behind me I can hear Leif telling Nathan to ‘mind his own fucking business’, and I can’t help but smile.