FIFTEEN
‘THANK YOU SO MUCH for bringing me,’ Maisie says, munching on a protein bar as we drive through the Cambridgeshire countryside. ‘Have I told you how good a friend you are?’
‘Once or twice.’ I laugh because this is the fifth time. ‘So how are you feeling about today? Positive?’
‘Pretty good. I’ve been training really hard since my exams ended, so I’m hoping to be in the top three.’ She scrunches her wrapper up and stuffs it into the door pocket. ‘But don’t feel you have to watch. It’s so typical that my event coincides with the Austrian GP.’
‘Of course I’m going to watch you,’ I protest. ‘I’ll be the one cheering at the front. I’ll just be watching the Grand Prix on my iPad the rest of the time.’
‘Thanks.’ She sounds pleased. ‘Dad wanted to come, but it’s his and Briony’s wedding anniversary so I told him not to. Daisy says I’m a terrible stepsister for leaving her with them, because they’re being all romantic and icky. But it’s nice to have somebody here supporting me.’
I give her a sidelong look. I get the feeling ‘somebody’ refers to a specific person, currently 900 miles away. ‘How was Gio when he left?’ I ask tactfully.
‘Trying to be supportive. Just like I was trying to be supportive of him, but our schedules, you know …’ She clucks her tongue. ‘Some things were a lot easier when we were fake-dating.’
‘You’re still having problems?’
‘Mmm. One of them is really pretty too.’
I give a jolt. ‘There’s another woman?’
‘Not exactly.’ She sighs. ‘I trust Gio. It’s just that he’s mentoring Fraser’s new reserve driver, and we can barely get through an hour without him mentioning her.’
‘You mean Quinn Sommers?’
‘Yes, and she’s so annoyingly talented. He says he really admires her “racing intelligence”. Meanwhile, I still haven’t passed my driving test.’ She makes a growling sound. ‘But parallel parking is so hard!’
‘Gio loves you for you, not your driving abilities.’ I try to sound reassuring. ‘You should talk to him about it, tell him how you feel.’
‘No. Because I hate the way I sound right now, like some insecure, jealous girlfriend.’ She heaves another, even heavier sigh.
‘It’s just something I need to get past. Anyway, I don’t want to bring the mood down, not when we should be celebrating our exam results!
’ She twists her head to grin at me. ‘Who was it who got a first again? I can’t remember … ’
‘Mmm …’ I purse my lips. ‘Was it me?’
‘Yes!’ She clicks her fingers. ‘But I knew you would. You can do anything you set your mind to, even turn around a failing Formula 1 team. It can’t be a coincidence that Rask only started improving once you arrived.’
‘I think the mechanical upgrades might have had a little more to do with it.’
‘Nope, it was all you. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.’ She points to one side suddenly. ‘There’s the sign for the event.’
‘Thanks.’
‘So how are things going at Rask?’ she says, once we’re off the road and driving through a bumpy, gravelled area that apparently counts as a car park. ‘Any nice guys there?’
‘Maybe.’
‘What?’ I can see her gaping at me out of the corner of my eye. ‘Really? Who?’
‘Just … someone.’
‘I need details!’
‘It’s too soon.’
‘OK, don’t tell me. I’ll guess. It’s the team principal, isn’t it? What’s his name?’
‘Bastian Aalto, and he’s married . He’s been with his wife for thirty years.’ I frown as we turn down the third row of parked cars. ‘Wow, this place is really busy. Tell me if you see any spaces.’
‘Only if you tell me who the guy is.’
‘You know we’re here for you to race, right? That means we need to park first.’
‘Fine. There’s one.’
‘Perfect!’
‘So? Who is it?’ She’s practically bouncing with excitement. ‘Come on, we tell each other everything.’
‘Ahem.’ I turn the engine off before turning to face her. ‘Remember how you lied to me about your fake relationship with Gio?’
Her face falls. ‘Ye-es, but in my defence I wanted to tell you.’
‘How long was it?’ I tap my finger against my chin. ‘Three months?’
‘Again, not my decision. And you were the very first person I told in the end.’
‘OK fine, but you have to promise not to tell anyone. Gio included.’
‘I promise. Wait! That must mean it really is somebody important.’ She inhales sharply. ‘It’s a driver, isn’t it? Corey? No way! Although he is pretty gorgeous. And funny. And his accent …’
‘It’s not Corey.’ I give her a meaningful look.
‘Not … Leif?’ Her jaw drops. ‘I thought you said he hated you?’
‘I thought he did.’ I lift my shoulders. ‘Only it turns out … he doesn’t.’
‘No way! This is perfect!’ Maisie breaks into a huge smile. ‘We’ll both be dating drivers.’
‘Slow down.’ I push my door open, gripped by a sudden urge to escape. ‘We haven’t even been on a date yet. It was only a kiss.’
‘You kissed?’ Maisie leaps out of her side. ‘What happened? Tell me everything. Who initiated it?’
‘It was kind of … both of us.’ I feel a tug in my chest at the memory. ‘Although technically, I guess I kissed him first.’
‘Love it! And?’
‘And … it was really good,’ I admit. ‘But don’t get carried away. It probably won’t come to anything.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s complicated,’ I say, drawing my brows together. No matter how good our kiss was, I still don’t know if us being together would be a smart idea.
‘Ava.’ She gives me a serious look as she starts to unhook her bike from the rack on my boot. ‘I know things didn’t work out with Oliver, but that doesn’t mean you should never try again.’
I smile tightly. She sounds just like my brother.
I wish I could tell her the truth, about why the very concept of dating, of opening myself up to somebody, is so difficult for me to get my head around, but I work too hard at not thinking about the past to let those barriers down easily.
I’ve almost told her what happened several times, but somehow I’ve never found the right words, and today is definitely not the day for it, not when she has a big event.
I don’t want to ruin her frame of mind – or mine, for that matter.
‘Maybe,’ I say. ‘But it could make things weird in the team. I have my professional reputation to think about. And what if …’ I stop because I don’t like what I’m about to say.
‘What if what?’ She heaves her bike to the ground.
I fold my arms defensively. ‘What if Jasper Ramirez were to find out? F1 is a small world. He might disapprove and refuse to interview me in December.’
‘I guess …’ She grips her handlebars. ‘But maybe it’s time you stopped letting Quezada dictate all your life choices?’
‘I don’t let them dictate all my choices,’ I answer indignantly. ‘In fact, since I’ve been at Rask, I’ve barely had a chance to think about them. I just have a plan and I don’t want to jeopardize it.’ I grab our bags off the back seat and slam the door. ‘Especially because of a man.’
‘Then maybe it’s your turn to keep a secret. Don’t tell anyone you and Leif are dating. Trust me, keeping a low profile can be a good thing. I learned that the hard way.’
I decide not to mention my contract. Perhaps she’s right, and Leif and I could date in secret.
I don’t like the idea of going behind Vienna’s back, but until I know whether this thing between us is serious or not, it might be the only solution.
I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to convince him.
He’s so private he might even be relieved.
And it’s not like he’d get into trouble if we were caught.
He’s too important to the team. As for me …
I don’t know whether a secret relationship would constitute gross misconduct, so we’d have to be careful, but I’d rather take the risk than ruin my chances of a future with Quezada.
Only there’s one more question nagging at the back of my mind.
‘Do you think I should tell him about my interview in December?’ I blurt out.
‘You could. Or you could just relax and go on a date first.’ Maisie wheels her bike in the direction of the registration tent. ‘See how things go before you start worrying about the future.’
‘But what if we get along really well and it turns into a relationship and then I get the job at Quezada?’ My thoughts are spiralling. ‘We’d end up working for rival teams.’
‘So?’
‘So we’d have conflicting loyalties! I don’t know if that could work.’
‘No offence, but now it sounds like you’re looking for obstacles.
Anyway, isn’t there a chance Leif will be switching teams too?
’ Maisie sounds thoughtful. ‘Gio says he hasn’t signed another contract with Rask yet, and there’s been so much buzz about the driver market recently.
His name has been linked to lots of different teams.’
‘Has it?’ I look at her in surprise. I’ve been so busy recently I haven’t been paying my usual amount of attention to F1 gossip.
I just assumed Rask would be re-signing Leif.
Nobody’s so much as hinted at anything else.
Although, now I think of it, if that was the case, why hasn’t he signed already?
‘All I’m saying is, why tell him about your future plans when his are still up in the air?
’ She winks at me. ‘And hey, maybe he’ll be moving to Quezada too?
Everyone says he’s talented enough, and it’s an open secret that Shimizu’s retiring at the end of the year.
That could be the perfect situation for both of you, right? ’
I catch my breath because actually … yes. If things work out between us, then it really could be. I wouldn’t have to change my own plans at all. And if they don’t work out … Well, I’m sure we could both still behave professionally.
‘OK, that’s enough relationship advice for one day. I need to register.’ Maisie reaches for her bag. ‘Wish me luck?’
‘Good luck.’ I smile. ‘Don’t break anything.’
‘I’ll do my best.’
I wave her goodbye before walking over to a picnic area and spreading my blanket out on the grass.
I feel like a weight has been lifted. I can’t believe I didn’t consider the possibility of Leif switching teams before!
Because, of course, Quezada will want him.
He’s one of the most talented drivers on the grid, and now that they’ve seen what he can do with the new upgrades, they’d be mad not to try to poach him.
It’s a shame for Rask, but he has to do what’s best for his career.
Just like I do. Maisie’s right. There’s no need for me to tell him my plans yet, especially when he hasn’t mentioned his to me.
I pull my iPad out and log into my TV account, just in time to catch the Austrian national anthem.
As if on cue, the camera pans past Leif.
He’s standing with his hands clasped behind his back, his chin in the air and a look in his eye that says he’s ready to race.
The thought of him in yellow Quezada overalls makes my temperature soar.
I come to a decision. I’m going to go on a date with Leif Olsen.
I’m going to explain my need for secrecy and then I’m going to explore this connection between us, whatever it is.
I’m not giving up on my life plan – I’m only embellishing it slightly.
I’m going to take a chance, for the first time in six years.
Because really, how much harm can it do?