TWENTY-FOUR
I’M IN THE RASK canteen, absently moving salad around my plate with a fork, when my phone vibrates with a WhatsApp from Maisie.
Hey. I just heard the news about Quezada. Are you OK?
I take a steeling breath. Maisie knows everything, since I called her pretty much the second she got back from Italy.
It helped to talk, even if I’m still as conflicted now as I was then.
When I saw the announcement about Valenti this morning, I felt like my heart had just shrunk several sizes.
I hadn’t realized how much I’d been hoping Leif would change his mind about Quezada.
Not really.
I’m so sorry. Have you spoken to Leif yet?
My stomach twists with guilt. No, I haven’t spoken to Leif.
I’ve successfully avoided him for two months, ever since the night he told me his decision, first on the morning afterwards when I snuck out of bed at 4 a.m., leaving a spare key to post through the letterbox and a note about an imaginary early meeting, then during the build-up to Monza, when I had a real, if slightly exaggerated, pile of paperwork to get through.
I’ve been dodging his calls ever since, pleading my workload and an urgent need to spend time with my ‘heartbroken brother’, although I’ve been neglecting Dan too.
I even managed to arrange meetings in London on the couple of occasions Leif has flown back to Rask’s UK headquarters for some simulator time.
As for social media content … that’s been heavily focused on Corey and other members of the team recently.
But I know I can’t keep this up. It’s Monday morning and the Las Vegas Grand Prix, the last race in the Americas, is on Saturday night Pacific Time, which means next week he’ll be home and I’ll need to make up my mind one way or the other.
Rask or Quezada. Leif or … no Leif.
I’ll talk to him when he gets back.
Does that mean you’ve made a decision?
No. But I will.
OK. Call me if you need to talk x
I abandon what’s left of my salad and get up, winding my way through the canteen.
Charlotte leaps up from a different table to walk back with me, but I’m too preoccupied to do more than smile and nod as she tells me about some new wedding detail.
I’ve been like this for weeks now, operating on autopilot.
I must be putting on a good act too, since no one’s accused me of behaving any differently, but inside I’m an emotionally drained mess.
I just feel incapable of making a decision.
I’ve dreamed of working for Quezada for so long that walking away seems impossible, and yet the thought of breaking up with Leif makes my heart ache in a way I’ve never felt before.
I want both of them and I resent being placed in this position because it was never supposed to be a choice.
My plan was straightforward, a linear step-by-step progression towards a clearly defined end.
Leif is the one who’s thrown a spanner into everything.
And even though I know it’s not fair to blame him, I can’t help it.
Then again, maybe it doesn’t matter what I decide any more.
My last voicemail from Leif was two weeks ago.
For all I know, he’s already decided we’re over.
But if he hasn’t … I still don’t know what to do.
The question is whirling around my mind all the time, like a persistent headache that won’t leave me alone.
It’s almost a relief when we walk into the office to find Emika and Yuto huddled together with anxious expressions.
‘Something’s wrong,’ Emika announces. ‘We’re in big trouble.’
‘Again?’ I can’t even bring myself to feel alarmed. ‘Everything was fine when we went to lunch.’
‘Well, it’s not now.’ She jerks a hand towards the conference room. ‘Vienna and Bastian have been holed up in there for forty minutes! Then Mika and Nova arrived ten minutes ago.’
‘So?’ Charlotte and I exchange glances. Emika’s been working late a lot recently, maybe too much.
‘So they must have flown in this morning.’ She glares at us like she’s reading our minds. ‘I am not over-reacting.’
‘She’s not.’ Yuto sounds gloomy. ‘Something’s definitely wrong. Take a look at their expressions and you’ll see what we mean.’
‘How?’ The conference room has a glass window, but we can hardly just go and peer in.
‘Walk past. Emika has. Four times.’
‘I’ll go.’ Charlotte picks up a pile of papers and heads towards the photocopier, casually twisting her head like she’s just flicking her hair as she goes. The moment she gets to the other side, however, she swings around with a horrified look on her face.
‘You see!’ Emika practically crumples into a chair. ‘We’re finished. We must have run out of money and they’re selling the team back to Sawyer.’
‘I’m sure that’s not it.’ I try to sound soothing. ‘We’ve got fifty-two points over the past three races.’
‘They’re talking to somebody on a laptop,’ Charlotte says in a loud whisper.
‘Lawyers probably.’ Emika scrapes her palms over her cheeks. ‘And I just put down a deposit on a flat. Sawyer’s bound to fire us.’
‘If things were that bad, we would have heard rumours, wouldn’t we?’ I look around for support.
‘That’s true, actually.’ Yuto looks brighter again. ‘I saw Jay in Finance yesterday and he didn’t seem stressed.’
‘Exactly. So we’re not going to lose our jobs.’ I squeeze Emika’s arm reassuringly. ‘Congratulations on the flat, by the way.’
‘Thanks. It’s taken me so long to find somewhere even remotely affordable –’
She stops talking as the door to the conference room swings open abruptly and Bastian, Mika and Nova file out and walk past, their expressions all tense. A second later, Vienna appears in the doorway, her arms folded.
‘Good, you’re all here. I guess you’re wondering what this is about.’ Her tone is ominous. ‘I have news.’
‘It’s over, isn’t it?’ Charlotte’s the one over-reacting now, her mouth trembling. ‘We’re all going to lose our jobs.’
‘What? No. Why would you think –’ Vienna stops and mutters under her breath. ‘Never mind. It’s nothing to do with your jobs. It’s about Corey. Apparently he decided to go rock climbing somewhere near the Grand Canyon yesterday.’
‘Oh no.’ Emika presses a hand to her mouth.
‘Oh yes. He broke his leg in three places.’
‘So we’re down a driver?’ Charlotte squeaks through the chorus of gasps.
‘Worse. We’re down a driver who was supposed to meet us in Las Vegas tomorrow .’ Vienna places a hand to her chest. ‘Obviously I’d like to take the first flight to Corey’s hospital bed and stamp on his other leg, but –’ she closes her eyes – ‘I’m trying to stay calm.’
‘One of the reserve drivers can take over, though, can’t they?’ I say. As a customer team to Fraser, we share their reserves.
‘That’s what we’ve just been discussing. It’s the only bit of good news I’ve had today. She’ll be meeting us in Las Vegas tomorrow.’
‘She? You mean Quinn Sommers?’ Emika stands up straighter. ‘That’s so cool!’
‘I think so too.’ Vienna opens her eyes again. ‘Or it would be if she had more than three days to learn everything she needs to know about the car. That’s enough pressure without being nineteen years old and the first woman driver in Formula 1 for decades.’
‘Has she driven the car at all?’ Yuto sounds worried.
‘She’s had a little time in the simulator, but not much.
’ Vienna takes a deep breath and exhales loudly.
‘But if Fraser think she’s up to the challenge, then we’ll just have to trust them.
Bastian’s telling the engineers right now, and Mika and Nova are briefing the rest of the staff.
We, however, need to put out a press release asap.
After that, the phones are going to be ringing off the hook.
Remember when Sawyer accused us of cheating?
It’s going to be like that times ten. All media attention is going to be on us for the next few days, so everyone cancel any plans you have for the week.
’ She looks at me. ‘And I’ll need you to come to Las Vegas too. ’
‘Me?’ I put a hand out to grasp the back of a chair. The Las Vegas GP is a huge deal, but it also means seeing Leif again and I’m nowhere near ready for that. ‘But I thought I was minding the office this weekend?’
‘That was then. Now it’s action stations. I’ll need someone to help me field media enquiries stateside, and Emika and Yuto are going to be too busy with the drivers. Emika, you’ll be minding Quinn, by the way.’
‘No problem.’
‘And Charlotte?’ Vienna narrows her eyes. ‘Don’t even think about telling me you have a dress fitting this weekend.’
‘I don’t.’ Charlotte shakes her head quickly. ‘I’ll mind the office.’
‘Are you sure?’ I ask her. ‘Because if you’d rather go to Vegas, I can stay here. I mean, I went to Hungary, so really it’s your turn.’
‘Actually, I don’t have a passport right now because I’m getting it renewed for my honeymoon.’
‘Then that settles it.’ Vienna pulls herself up to her full height.
‘Charlotte, you’ll be on your own for the rest of the week, so if you need any help, go to Merchandising and tell them I said you could borrow their interns.
If anyone argues, call me.’ She looks around each of us in turn.
‘We have to view this as an opportunity. If it goes well, we’ll be trailblazers and it’ll look great for the team.
In other words, it has to fucking go well. Failure isn’t an option.’
‘Yes, boss!’ Emika, Charlotte and Yuto all grin.
‘Good. So forget about sleep until next week and let’s get started.’
I force a smile along with everyone else, but inside I’m screaming.