Emma
Demi runs up during the start of the third quarter, sliding onto the bench and pulling me into a hug.
“You’re home!” I squeeze her back. “I want to hear all about Maui.”
“We had these killer white chocolate macadamia nut pancakes that were bigger than my head, and a sea turtle bopped me on the butt while I was swimming.”
“Pretty sure that’s illegal.”
“It’s only illegal if you touch them.”
I laugh, pulling her in for another hug. “I missed you.”
Demi glances over my shoulder, noting Seth. “Sounds like you have much to update me on.”
“Hey, Demi,” Seth says. “Welcome home.”
Someone makes a sporty play that gets the general population excited, and I hear Carson’s signature train whistle from behind us.
“Dad!” Penny whines. “Too loud!”
It was crazy loud. I know because of how close he’s sitting. He was up at the top of the bleachers when he first arrived, but the Walkers invited his family to join them and now they’re right behind me.
Also, Seth doesn’t think this is anything but a full-fledged date, evidenced by the way he’s tried to hold my hand, buy me popcorn, and slide his arm over my shoulder. Carson’s gaze has been boring into my back since he got here.
I scoot a little closer to Demi. “Okay, Mrs. Rodriguez, tell me everything.”
“I need to talk to you first. Should we get popcorn?”
“Already have some.” I gesture to the bucket between our feet.
Demi rolls her eyes. “Bathroom break, then? Come on.”
I lean over to Seth. “We’ll be right back.”
“Cool.”
Demi drags me from the stands and around the back, where we get in line for the women’s restroom. She narrows her eyes at me. “What’s going on? You’re acting so weird.”
“I went on a few dates with Seth.”
“Counting my wedding?”
“Ish…yeah. I guess we only did dinner.”
“Is it supposed to be exclusive?”
Something heavy drops into the pit of my stomach. “No…we never said it was.”
Considering my extracurricular activities the last few days—behind the library and in my kitchen and in Carson’s office and briefly at my car before I came to this very game—we’d better not be exclusive.
“Good.” She relaxes.
“Why?”
“He’s been talking to my sister since my bachelorette party.”
Maybe this is par for the course with Seth, because I don’t feel remotely surprised to learn this. If anything, it makes me feel better about not continuing a relationship with him.
“Mina is at Vermont State, right?”
She nods. “Getting her master’s in special education. I thought about applying for that promotion to the South Burlington Library, but maybe Seth will take it. Maybe he already has.”
“If you want it, go for it.” My affirmation from Tuesday floats through my mind. “You’re allowed to want more, Demi.”
“Yeah? Am I?” She laughs hollowly, stepping forward as the line moves. “So are you, Em. Don’t date Seth merely because he’s interested. He’s not going to stay in Autumn Ridge forever.”
I’m so tempted to tell her about Carson, but I promised I wouldn’t. The truth is I don’t know how long we’ll last either. Our relationship—however you want to classify it—is a lot of sneaking glances and texting conversations.
Kinda like how my phone is blowing up right now.
Carson
Where did you go?
Why is it taking you so long to come back?
Okay, I see how needy that sounded. I’ll pull back.
Did I wait long enough to check in again? Seth is texting right now, so I’m guessing he’s bugging you, too.
How’s the date, btw? He’s definitely into you in not just a friend way. Ask me how I know.
I check, but nothing has come in from Seth.
Emma
He’s probably texting the other girl he’s seeing right now. He doesn’t know I know.
Carson
Hold my popcorn.
Emma
That’s hypocritical. I’m okay with it. Besides, this isn’t a date, which I’ve told him a few times.
Carson
Looks like one, though. I wish you had come with me. I wish you were sitting with me. Why are you not sitting with me?
Emma
People would talk.
Carson
Fine.
How about we start that bathroom tomorrow instead? I can skip the barn raising.
Emma
But you won’t.
Carson
No, I won’t. How do you already know me so well?
Demi steps out of the bathroom and sidles right up to me. “Who put that cheesy grin on your face? If you say Seth, I’m dragging you home right now.”
“Where’s your new husband? Shouldn’t you be at his side?”
Demi grins, pushing back her short dark hair. “I’ll let it go. Are we hanging out this weekend?”
“Only if you’ll be at the barn raising.”
“Wasn’t planning on it. Larry has a date with the Giants, I think.”
“Which is probably on Sunday…”
“Shhhh.” Demi laughs, bumping my shoulder with hers. “I don’t want to raise a barn. Maybe we’ll come to the dance.”
“You should.”
We walk separate directions. I’m heading beneath the bleachers to the steps when a shadowed man passes me, lightly gripping my hand.
“What are you doing?” I hiss, tugging free.
Carson keeps walking, and due to the momentum, I walk beside him. I look frantically for Demi but can’t see her anywhere.
“This isn’t covert at all, you know,” I say. “It’s a town function. The Ednas could be anywhere.”
“We’re friends, remember? We can grab something from my car together.”
I laugh. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
He shoots me a smirk and a side-eye. “You don’t have to come. Penny decided she wants the blanket she refused to carry in earlier.”
“If it’s for Penny, then how can I say no?”
“That’s my girl.” His words hammer through my chest, staking their claim and giving me a sense of belonging.
This is dangerous ground.
Once we’re near the parking lot, Carson reaches for my hand. I let him hold it for ten seconds before my nerves get the best of me and I pull free.
“Would you rather be responsible for the game-winning touchdown or have to eat a cicada? That’s the one Penny lobbed at me today.”
“You picked the game-winning touchdown.”
He laughs. “Maybe ten years ago I’d feel confident in that, but now I’m pretty rusty.” He grins. “But yeah, that’s what I chose.”
“Give me the cicada.”
“Gross, Emma.”
“I don’t need the town hating me when I lose us the homecoming game.”
“No one could hate you.” He looks at me while rummaging through his pocket for his key, then unlocks the car. “I’ve never seen your throwing arm.”
“It doesn’t exist. I have some mean page-turning fingers, though. Loads of practice.”
Carson pulls a blanket from the trunk, then closes it. “I can’t remember the last time I read a book. Probably college, because I had no choice.”
“You’re breaking my heart.”
“I’d try, if you really want me to.”
“Hey, you don’t make me pull a hook out of a living thing’s mouth, and I won’t make you read anything longer than a text.”
Carson stops so close to me, his toes are almost touching mine. “Deal.”
Seth slings his arm around my shoulders as he walks me to my car now that the game’s over. It’s dark; the stars are visible despite the blaring stadium lights. I want to warm up with some hot chocolate when I get home, just to unthaw my fingers.
“Did you have a good time?” Seth asks. “I think everyone we know was here.”
“It was a nail-biter for a second there, I think.”
Seth laughs. “Pretty typical, you know. Book nerd who knows nothing about sports.”
“I really never cared to learn. But my dad took me to a Giants game once and I could see the appeal.”
“Could you follow it?”
“No. Can you?”
“Yeah, but I like football.” We reach my car and Seth pulls me in for a hug.
As soon as he’s squeezed, I step back, making sure there’s a healthy distance between us.
“Should I pick you up for the dance tomorrow?”
“We aren’t dating, Seth. This whole thing tonight was just as friends, which I was super clear about.”
“Except when you said I had a chance.”
“I told you I had fun.”
“You know how I took it, though.”
He’s right. This is totally on me. “Are you exclusively talking to me?”
“Not really.” He’s quick to be honest, so at least there’s that. “I’ve been talking to Mina, too. But she lives in Burlington and I haven’t seen her since the party. And we haven’t made the decision to be exclusive.”
I owe him the truth, too. “I like someone else.”
He leans on one foot, nodding.
“It probably won’t go anywhere,” I say. “But I owe it to you to keep this thing as friends. It’s not fair otherwise, Seth.”
“What if I want to take you to the dance anyway, being in full possession of the facts?”
“It’s pointless.”
He shrugs. “I like hanging out with you.”
“As friends?”
“Yeah. I can be the one who makes that other guy jealous. Isn’t that what they do in all those movies?”
“That’s a terrible plan. We’re friends, okay? That’s it.”
He gives me a long look. I can sense the moment understanding settles and he accepts it won’t go anywhere between us. “Okay, Emma. Friends.”
“I’ll see you around?”
“Sure.” Seth leaves to find his car as the Walker family passes us. I lift a hand to wave at Liv, a girl I knew in high school, trailing them at the back. Tate is right on her tail, so I wave at him too.
“Hey,” Liv says, reaching to give me a quick hug. “Kiss the Pig had a great turnout. You must be happy.”
“So far, our mayor voting is going well, too.”
“I know.” Liv laughs, pushing her blonde hair over her shoulder. “I’ve seen the stickers everywhere.”
“Will I see you guys at the barn raising?”
She fights a yawn. “Sure will.”
“Okay, have a good night.”
“See ya, Emma,” Tate says before they walk away. The Prices and Walkers are intermingled as they walk, and I can’t help feeling like that many good genes don’t have a right to run in one family.
I climb in my car before they can catch me staring at Carson’s retreating back, but I can still see them dimly in my rearview mirror. Carson looks over his shoulder in my direction before putting his arm around Penny.
He was wrong earlier, as much as I don’t want to admit it to myself. I completely understand. I can’t even complain because this is how it should be.
I’m not his girl.
Penny is.