19. Nina
Chapter nineteen
Nina
“Neens! Guess what?”
“What?” I pressed the phone closer to my ear with a laugh, throwing a grape into my mouth as I rested my head on Knox’s hard chest, which had quickly become my favorite place to be. My eyes remained glued to the TV where we were watching an episode of How To Get Away With Murder .
“I said guess, you oaf,” Lindsay said exasperatedly, and I could just imagine her rolling her eyes.
“You know I’m terrible at guessing, Lin. Just tell me.”
Knox tapped me, and I lifted my head to look at him. “Is that Lindsay?” he mouthed, and I nodded.
“Fine,” she huffed. “You’re ruining the surprise, but it’s okay. I forgive you. Are you home?”
I frowned. “Yes, why?”
She giggled. “Open the door.”
I sat upright, quickly entering panic mode. My chest heaved, and I blinked furiously. “Lin, are you outside?”
The words must’ve slapped Knox in the face, because when I looked at him, his eyes widened so much that I thought they would pop. His expression no doubt mirrored mine—huge eyes, sweaty brows, and darting gaze.
Lindsay, oblivious to the tumultuous reactions I was experiencing, shrieked with glee. “Surprise!”
“Is she here?” Knox whispered, his glaring distress clear with each passing second.
I nodded, biting my lip. Our fear was understandable. We’d just had sex, and the entire place smelled like it. And knowing Lindsay, she would figure out that something had happened in an instant.
I had to think fast. “Give me a second, Lin. I’m in the toilet.” I cut the call immediately, halting her protests. Thank God Knox and I always locked the door when we were both home, or she would have walked in and caught us wrapped up in each other’s embrace.
“Fucking hell,” Knox whisper-yelled, tugging at the long strands on his head as he began to pace. “She can’t know about us, Nina. We can’t do that to her.”
“Of course I know that,” I snapped. “You think I want to lose my best friend?”
Knox was freaking out. It was weird.
“So, what do we do?” he asked, panicked.
“I have no idea, but we can’t leave her out there any longer or she’ll know something’s up.”
“Shit. You’re right,” he mumbled. “Okay. You get the door and I’ll be in my room. Just tell her you haven’t seen me today.”
“Knox—” I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off.
“Just go, Nina.”
And then he bolted into the hallway, leaving me standing there trying to remember why Lindsay couldn’t find out that I was her brother’s fuck buddy.
Oh, right. Because she’s my best friend and she would most likely delete me out of her life.
Lovely.
Sucking in a breath, I gathered some morale along with my clothes, and headed to the door, counting to three in my mind and letting out the breath before opening the door.
Instantly, I was attacked by two weirdly strong arms around my neck, causing me to stagger backward in an attempt to find balance, even as a quick laugh escaped me.
“Neens!” Lindsay cried, breathing into my neck. “Oh, how I’ve missed you.”
Tears stung at my eyes, and I shut them, inhaling her familiar scent. Everything else faded into a blur as an overpowering feeling of happiness washed over me. It’d been too long since I held her, and I didn’t know how much I missed her until now.
“I missed you too, Lin,” I murmured as the hug ended and we pulled away to smile at each other. “Jesus, how are you here right now? And why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
Her hazel eyes danced over my face. “First off, a work event and a few important meetings to attend. I’m in town with my boss for the next two weeks. And second, I wanted to surprise you!” She looked around, as if searching for something. Or someone. “Both of you, actually. Is my brother here?”
At the mention of Knox, everything came crashing back to me. I swallowed a thick ball of saliva, wetting my lips. I didn’t want to lie to my best friend, but Knox was right; she couldn’t find out about us. Not only would it hurt to know that her best friend was fucking her brother, but she also already had too much on her plate to worry about us.
“I actually have no idea,” I forced out. “I haven't seen him all day.”
She frowned, looking back at me. “But it’s Saturday.”
I shrugged, trying to seem like the guilt I was feeling wasn’t about to swallow me whole. I hated this.
Eventually, Lindsay’s smile returned, and she closed the door behind her and drew me into the house. “I’ll call him later. Now come on, tell me everything that has happened since I’ve been away. And don’t leave one thing out!”
***
I spent the next hour catching Lindsay up on the recent happenings of my life: finishing my painting and putting it up for sale, which, by the way, had received an offer from someone willing to buy, but I declined because it just didn’t feel right. Then I told her about the house party Knox and I had gone to, and how Knox had been an asshole to Cindy and her husband, Penn, as well as the event Uncle Dean had hosted.
Lindsay listened with her full attention, laughing and frowning when she should and offering commentary at the appropriate times. It was just like old times, and I couldn’t believe she was back.
The only issue was that I left something out: my relationship—or rather, situationship—with her brother.
Ever since that night Michael showed up full of regret and apologies, things between Knox and I had shifted. We’d had a moment when he told me he had feelings for me—can someone say “swoon?”—and even though he didn’t let me say it back, I continued to think about it. So many questions arose after that night, questions I was terrified of asking.
The sex was still great—I suspected it always would be with him, and sometimes it felt like he wasn’t just fucking me; he was making love to me. Slow, sensual love that made my heart flutter and back arch and filled me with even more questions afterwards.
I couldn’t stop thinking; what were we now? Lovers, fuck buddies, or something more? Did this mean we were exclusive? He’d said he had feelings for me. Okay, great. But where did we go from here?
Knox seemed to be alright with our current arrangement, which was even more confusing because I had no idea what we were doing at all. I only knew that I loved him, and wanted to be solely his. But it’d been almost a week and there was still no talk about the future of our relationship.
Whenever I tried to bring it up, he’d quickly change the topic, as if running from it was the solution. The one time I’d set my foot down and demanded we talk, he’d told me in indirect terms that nothing more could happen between us.
“You know how things are, Nina. They’re too complicated.”
I didn’t understand what was so complicated about our situation. He had feelings for me, and I had feelings for him too. Why couldn’t we be together?
I drew myself back to reality when Lindsay stood at her feet and stretched.
“Wow, we've been talking for almost two hours. No surprises there,” she chuckled. “As much as I’ve missed you, Neens, I’ve also missed my brother. I’ll going to go check in his room before I call, just in case.”
I nodded, managing a small smile. “Sure.”
Lindsay swung on her heel and sauntered toward the hallway. She hadn’t taken five steps when a door opened and closed and Knox appeared, wearing completely different clothes from earlier, looking so fucking handsome.
His hair fell down to his shoulders, dark and vibrant. My fingers twitched, remembering how not too long ago they’d been running through those strands. I closed my fists, inhaling. He stopped just at the threshold of the living room, locking gazes with me for a moment before his eyes landed on his sister, his lips stretching.
Lindsay’s face broke into a wide grin. “Knoxy!” she squeaked, practically jumping on him and attacking him in an even grander koala bear hug than the one she’d given me. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Knox laughed heartily, wrapping his arms around her while her legs wrapped around his waist. “I’ve missed you too, squirt.”
I had no idea I was even smiling at their reunion until I caught myself clearing my throat. It was nice to see Lindsay and Knox displaying their sibling affection. It wasn’t something I was used to seeing. Clearly, they loved each other. It made me wish I had a sibling too.
Knox finally peeled Lindsay off his body. “When was the last time I saw you?” he said.
Lindsay giggled. “You saw me a few months ago, silly.”
“It’s just hard to differentiate this adult you from that scrawny little kid who had posters of One Direction and BTS pasted all over her room.”
Lindsay and I laughed because it was true. She was obsessed with boy bands as a teenager. In fact, I was willing to wager that she still was. But it was also true that she’d grown into a beautiful, independent woman with a good head on her shoulders. I was proud to call her my friend.
There it was again. The guilt.
I pushed it down, trying to keep my attention on the siblings in front of me.
“Yeah, well, people change,” Lindsay retorted, then her eyes found me. “Speaking of change, how has living together been?” Grabbing Knox’s hand, she tugged him in my direction on the couch. “Last I heard, Nina was this close to strangling you in your sleep.”
“Was she?” Knox’s brows arched as he dropped onto the sofa opposite me, while Lindsay slid comfortably beside me.
I bit my lip to hold back a smile at the knowing look in his eyes. “At the beginning, yes. You are quite the asshole, you know.”
Sapphire eyes sparkled. “So I’ve heard.”
Lindsay burst out laughing, but then paused, narrowing her gaze at me. “At the beginning?”
Shit. My smile faltered, my eyes widening as I realized the slip. God, I wanted to tell her so bad. Lindsay and I always told each other about whomever we were currently seeing. This was terrible.
Knox held my gaze and must’ve seen the conflict in them. With a subtle shake of his head, he discouraged me, his throat working as he silently pleaded. I couldn’t help but wonder why he was so against Lindsay finding out. Was he ashamed of me?
I pressed my tongue to the inside of my cheek and turned back to Lin. “Uh… yeah. Things are smoother now. We don’t really argue as much anymore. Knox is barely home these days, and I’ve been focusing on finishing my painting, just like I told you about.”
“Ah, that makes sense,” Lindsay chuckled. “Well, I’m glad things worked out in the end. Nina complained so much that for a second, I contemplated coming home and playing buffer.”
“Hmm,” Knox made a sound at the back of his throat, his gaze flicking to me for a fleeting moment before shifting back. “How’s Boston treating you, Lin? Do you like it up there?”
Lindsay, oblivious to the quick change in topic, smiled, then launched into a recap of her life in Boston—how her boss was extra nice and respectful, and she enjoyed working for him. How she’d only been there for a little over five weeks yet had made some friends—she assured me they were just slightly more than acquaintances, and would in no way replace me—and how she’d even met a guy who she thought was cute.
At that, Knox’s eyes narrowed slightly. “That’s not good. Cute boys are bad news.”
His sister rolled her eyes. “Says the exact definition of the word.”
Knox looked offended. “I’m not cute.”
“Yes, you are. You’re the cutest. Like a bunny.” She turned to me with a smirk. “Right, Neens?”
The look on Knox’s face was taking me out. It took every shred of self-control I had to keep myself from bursting out in laughter.
“Mhmm,” I nodded, biting my lip. “Very cute.”
Knox growled, getting to his feet. “Fuck off, you two.”
He stormed out of the living room, banging the door to his room so hard the building shook.
Lindsay and I almost died of laughter, holding our stomachs as it poured out.
“He’s always hated being called cute. I have no idea why,” Lindsay wheezed, reclining back onto the couch.
For a heartbeat, no one spoke. I took the time to ponder over what the next two weeks would be like with both Lindsay and Knox in the house. Did it mean things between Knox and me would end? What if Lindsay found out? Would she continue to live here? Or would our relationship blow up in my face and I would end up losing them both?
“I’m really glad you guys are good now. What changed?” she asked after a while.
We started having sex.
I bit my tongue to keep from blurting that out loud.
Feigning nonchalance, I shrugged a shoulder. “I guess we both just got tired of the arguments and decided to be mature about it. I mean, we were stuck living together. It wasn’t healthy to continue being at odds.”
“See? Turns out you didn’t need me like you initially thought. I told you that you would be fine without me.
I scoffed, leaning back to look at her. “You’re my best friend in the world, Lindsay. I would never be fine without you.”
She shot me a wide-tooth smile that pulled at my heart, hazel eyes brimming with joy. “You’re my best friend too, Neens and I would never be fine without you either.”
***
Fortunately, Lindsay’s return seemed to not have too much of an effect on me and Knox’s sexual relationship.
At around one in the morning, someone knocked on my door. I lay in bed, unable to sleep because of the many questions and doubts troubling my mind when the knock came. My heart thundered in my chest. There was only one person in this house who bothered to knock. Between me and Lindsay, there was no such thing as privacy.
Jumping out of bed, I turned the knob as slowly and as gently as I could to avoid creaks, holding my breath. Knox poked his head in, grinning mischievously. Without saying a word, he grabbed my hand and pulled me forward, closing my bedroom door behind us and tiptoeing to his room. I wondered why we were leaving the convenience of my own room for his, but I didn’t ask until we were safely within those four walls.
Leading me to bed, he began to take off my clothes. “First off, I know your room is messy as fuck,” he whispered, kissing me senseless. “Second, and most importantly, if my sister decides to have a chat in the middle of the night, she will not knock first.”
Knox kissed me as he pressed me backwards with each step until the back of my legs hit the bedframe and I fell on the bed, landing on my ass.
“Yeah, but still. If she does go into my room and she doesn’t see me, where do you think she’ll check next?” I asked.
He threw off his shirt and loose pants, climbing me and positioning himself between my legs. One swipe between my thighs told him I was already desperate for him. Grabbing his hard erection, he slid the tip up and down my slit, making me hiss. I spread my legs even further, holding my breath in anticipation.
Knox pushed into me, and I gasped audibly, the initial shock of his massive size washing over me. Fuck. He was too thick. A moan that bordered between pain and pleasure tore from my throat and Knox lowered his head to kiss me.
“You know how much I love it when you cry out for me, princess, but right now I’m going to need you to keep it down. We can’t risk Lin hearing you, alright?”
I nodded, breathing through my mouth as signaling to him to move. Pleasure overtook me when he did. My body raked with tiny orgasms that never seemed to end, and tears of pure bliss filled my eyes and began to fall, causing Knox to cover my mouth with his hand to reduce the sounds I was making.
It wasn’t long until he was coming and cursing under his breath, his body jerking furiously at the force of his climax. Breathing hard, he pulled out of me and fell on the bed next to me, gathering me into his arms. I knew I couldn’t stay the night; Lindsay was an early riser, and it would not do for her to catch me coming out of her brother’s room, doing the walk of shame.
I tried to get up. “I have to go.”
Knox’s arm around me didn’t give up. “Hmm. Stay a while. I miss having you next to me.”
It wasn’t easy to act like his words didn’t warm me. “We slept together last night, and the night before that, and the night—”
“Princess?”
“Hmm?”
“Shut up and let me hold you.”
When he looked so hot like that, who was I to complain?
***
“Good morning.”
I resisted the urge to wince, my steps faltering. Lindsay was already in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee while her finger swiped around the touchpad of her MacBook. She looked up at me, smiling softly.
“Good morning, Lin. Why are you up so early on a Sunday? It’s barely seven.”
Heading for the coffee machine, I grabbed a mug and poured myself a heavy dose of my morning drug. I kept my back to Lindsay because I couldn’t risk her guessing anything from the sight of my flushed face.
I’d ended up spending the entire night in Knox’s room and was hoping for a cup of coffee to wake me up before going back to my room in case she decided to check in. I didn’t expect her to be up this early.
“Yeah, I know, but I have something to take care of before my boss’s meeting tomorrow. Life of a PA,” she sighed.
Gulping down the coffee, I exhaled before turning around to face her, mustering up a chuckle. “Sucks to be you, sugar.”
Lindsay stared at me for a second, cocking her head to one side as her eyes squinted. “Is it just me, or is there something different about you?”
I swallowed another mouthful of my cup, trying not to panic. Lindsay might be intuitive, but she was not clairvoyant. “What do you mean?”
“Hmm.” She pulled her leg up on the chair, resting her jaw on her knee, her gaze never leaving me. “I’m not sure. You’re… positively glowing. Did you finally sell your painting?”
“Not yet.”
“Did you meet someone new?”
Fucking hell, she’s a witch.
“Of course not,” I huffed. “You would be the first to know if I did.”
Lindsay grinned. “I thought so too. Hold up. Did you have sex recently?”
I’d been about to swallow my coffee, but at the mention of sex, I sputtered. The hot, bitter liquid missed the right pipe and singed down the wrong one, prompting me into a coughing fit that almost killed me.
“Oh, shit.” Lindsay was out of her chair in a second, taking the mug from me and placing it inside the sink before patting my back with force. “Easy there. Breathe. Shit, Neens. You’ve gotta ease up on the caffeine obsession.”
“Yeah,” I coughed, trying to catch my breath. The problem with being friends with a person since childhood is that at some point, they can tell everything happening with you from just one look. I had no idea how Lindsay had guessed so correctly.
“Thanks,” I told her when the coughing subsided.
Knox chose that exact moment to show up, wearing only shorts. He tilted his head, a line creasing the space between his full brows. “What’s going on?”
“Nina is trying to kill herself with coffee,” Lindsay scolded with a frown.
He met my eyes. I saw him clench and unclench his fists, as if they were itching to touch me. After a second, his lips set in a straight line. “Go easy, alright?”
I nodded, thankful that the moment had passed. I did not have a response to Lindsay’s comment, and I prayed she would forget what she even asked.
In hindsight, it was too much to hope for. Apparently, not only was she a witch, but she was also an observant one because she suddenly paused, looked me up and down, her brows furrowing.
“Isn’t that Knox’s T-shirt? Why are you wearing it?”
Fucking… Fuck.
The entire room went silent. A pin could have dropped, and it would have rung volumes. The tension in the atmosphere was so thick that you could’ve cut it with a freaking machete.
I glanced down at my body, silently cursing myself for being so careless. I was used to wearing Knox’s clothes after sex. No wonder some of my clothes were now missing—they were sitting pretty in his room. It hadn’t even occurred to me to stop and think. I’d been so desperate to get out of his room that my hands grabbed the first thing I saw—one of Knox’s old T-shirts.
My eyes shot up at Knox’s. His neck was sucked in like he was holding a deep breath, and his eyes had become frantic. I knew what he was thinking, that this was it. Lindsay would find out about us and all hell would let loose.
Fear gripped me. I balled my fists to keep them from trembling, searching for something to say, but I was coming up with zilch. I was too fucking tense to think straight.
“Uh… I must've left it in the washing machine. Jesus. I’ve… uh… been looking everywhere for that shirt. I can’t believe you had it all this time,” Knox said, his eye movements controlled as his gaze darted between me and his sister.
I frowned, wondering why he was making me out to be a thief. Even if it was a cover-up.
So I said, “Yes. I mean, I think so.” I tried to chuckle, but it came out shaky. “It smelled so nice that I couldn’t bring myself to return it by the time I figured out that it wasn’t mine. I actually thought it was yours, Lin.”
Lindsay laughed, and I couldn’t tell if it was strained or not. “How could you have thought that? I’m a size six.”
I shrugged my shoulders, spreading my arms out helplessly. “I think we’ve already established that I’m clumsy as hell.”
“I think so too.” She giggled. “Besides, I know how much you love clothes. I’m sure it was an honest mistake.” She directed the last statement at Knox, who only nodded curtly before turning and walking away.
Shit. That was a close one.
Heaving out a sigh, I took a long moment to catch my breath. This thing with Knox was getting harder with each day that passed. How long could we keep up the pretense? As I grabbed my mug and scurried back to my room, I wondered what the next hurdle would be.