Chapter 14
Fourteen
MARISSA
I keep glancing around to make sure that no one is paying attention to me. There aren’t a ton of people going in and out of the library at this time of day. Most people are home for dinner, but the street is busy enough that someone could easily see me. Any other day, any other life frankly, I would be so excited to be going to dinner with Luca; but I know that this isn’t going to be an easy conversation. Figuring out how to bring our families together, to end their senseless feud, is the only way we are going to be able to have a future together. And if we can’t think of a solution? I don’t even want to think about that.
By the time I see Luca’s car coming down the street, I’m a nervous wreck. My stomach is in knots, and I keep thinking about the fact that my father has been enraged for days about something that isn’t even true. I’m hopeful that the two of us can come up with some way to make all of this go away. I wonder what I would be thinking, if I had never met Luca at the ball. Would I have bought into the paranoia?
Luca pulls up to the curb, and before he has a chance to get out and open the door for me, I already have my hand on the door handle. I slide into the passenger seat, and flash him a tense smile. He responds with a grimace of his own. Clearly neither of us is looking forward to this conversation.
“Thanks for coming to get me,” I say.
“We have to figure this out,” Luca responds. His tone is curt, but belies more of his stress than anything else. I try not to take it personally.
“We do,” I agree. “Before everything explodes.”
We drive most of the way to Grand Junction in silence. I find myself resenting the fact that we have to drive so far just to go out to dinner, to have a semi private conversation. The very real threat of someone seeing us together and that info getting back to our families is going to constantly be hanging over our heads - unless we find a real solution.
We order as soon as we get seated, and right away Luca says, “I’m really concerned that there might be some truth to what my father thinks is happening.”
Right away, I feel my defenses kick into high gear, but I decide to push them aside and remain calm. I need to hear him out. That’s the whole point of having a conversation. It isn’t that I don’t want to defend my family, but right now might not be the best time.
“What exactly does your father think is happening?” I ask.
“Lots of little things are going wrong,” Luca says. “The biggest of which is obviously the food poisoning allegations that he has made.”
“So, just to clarify, your father still thinks that my family had something to do with the food poisoning at Venetian Dreams ?” I say.
Luca nods. “That’s the gist of it.”
“Okay,” I say, exhaling as much anger as I can manage to get out of my system at the moment. “Two questions: how exactly does your father think that my family did that? And what of his allegations do you believe, Luca?”
There is a long silence, only punctuated by sounds from the restaurant around us. Several couples are having their own private conversations over their meals; a family is excitedly celebrating their son’s birthday; a young couple holds hands and gazes adoringly into each others’ eyes over their pizza; a mother tries unsuccessfully to comfort and quiet down her overly-tired toddler, who then suddenly flips his plate of pasta onto the floor in protest… I sigh wearily. Life just plots on as usual, offering no special pause or acknowledgement of our unjust plight.
Finally Luca sighs and slumps back against the booth. He shakes his head. “I don’t know, Marissa,” he says. “I just don’t know. That’s the answer I have to both questions. I don’t know how my father thinks your family caused the food poisoning, and I don’t know if I believe it or not.”
“But you said you were starting to think the allegations might be true,” I say. “I don’t understand how you could believe that my family would be capable of something like that. Especially when you know that things have been going wrong at Little Italy, too. And my father thinks that it’s your family doing it, but I’ve never entertained the thought that it might be your family.”
“You haven’t, huh?” Luca says, slightly raising one of his eyebrows.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at him. There is something in his tone that I really don’t like.
“There hasn’t been one moment, not even one, where you even possibly wondered if my family might have something to do with the stuff happening at your restaurant?” he demands.
I sigh. “Fine. Maybe there have been a few moments where it did cross my mind, but I never seriously entertained the idea. For one thing, it’s absurd. How would your family coordinate such things? Even when I wondered if there was a way, my logical side won out, and I realized that I was just putting coincidental things together.”
“This just makes me realize how little we actually know about each other,” Luca says.
The words hit me like a crushing blow to my chest. I feel real pain, and my eyes flood with tears. Here is the man that I’m in love with, accusing my family of horrible things, and there seems to be nothing that I can do about it. I don’t know how to respond, so I just sit there staring at him. My mind goes numb.
Our conversation is further interrupted by the waitress bringing us our pizza, half cheese for me and half sausage for him. Luca thanks her in a subdued tone, but I can’t even bring myself to look at her. I wonder what she’s thinking, as she walks away from the table.
I’ve seen plenty of couples break up at dinner. Sometimes I can tell the second I walk up that it’s a break-up dinner, based on how one of the people is acting. Other times, it seems to come out of nowhere. I wonder if she thinks we’re breaking up. Are we?
“I can’t believe how naive you’re being,” he says in a low voice laced with anger. “Unless you’re complicit in the whole thing.”
My jaw drops open. I can’t believe how unhinged he sounds. “Are you kidding me?” I snap, swiping tears from my eyes with the heel of my hand. “What about you? You’re acting like a paranoid conspiracy theorist.”
“Paranoid? Look at the evidence, Marissa,” he says, my name coming out as a hiss.
“What evidence?” I demand. “The fact that both of our fathers are accusing the other? The fact that things are going wrong at both restaurants? Things go wrong in commercial kitchens all the time. That doesn’t mean that it’s sabotage!”
When I finish speaking, I’m breathing hard. I think I’ve kept my voice low enough so the other customers aren’t able to hear me. I literally can’t believe that we are in the middle of this conversation right now. I had thought that when we sat down for dinner, we would have a nice, civilized discussion, where we brainstormed ways to make our families come together. I never imagined that Luca was starting to believe what his father was saying; starting to insinuate that even I might be a part of it!
“Why are you doing this?” I ask.
“Honestly, if you think about it, my father does make sense,” Luca says.
“What do you mean?” I look down at the pizza, growing cold, the cheese congealing unappealingly on the top. It’s the perfect metaphor for how sad this evening has been.
“ Little Italy always seems to be a step ahead of Venetian Dreams ,” Luca says. “Now you’re getting into catering, right? The ball was the first test run? I bet you didn’t know that my parents have been thinking about getting into catering for years. Or did you?”
“You have got to be kidding me. My parents have had the catering plan for as long as I can remember. They only recently decided to pursue the loan to start that operation. They didn’t consider themselves financially stable enough before.”
“Likely story,” Luca says.
I bark out a surprised laugh. There is no way this is not some kind of convoluted dream. I even pinch the back of my hand to see if I’m awake. The pain informs me that yes, I am indeed awake. So the bizarreness of this conversation is actually happening.
“Luca,” I say in a pleading tone. I am not going to let this spiral anymore without trying to bring things back to reality at least. “This is getting ridiculous. This isn’t why we came here today.”
Luca frowns at me, then lets out a huge sigh. “I know,” he says. “I didn’t intend for any of this to go the way it is. It’s just… I feel so much pressure from my father, you know? He fully expects me to take over the business, and anytime I disagree with him, it’s like I’m being this horribly disloyal son.”
“I have a lot of the same pressures,” I say. “I think that’s one of the reasons we’ve been able to understand each other so well.”
I stop, because I don’t know what else to say. Part of me wants to tell Luca how hurt I am that he doesn’t trust me enough to know what’s going on with my family. The other part does understand how hard it is to have your whole family bearing down on you, telling you that the way you think things are might not even be true. I need him to be on my side. Not that sides are important, because I don’t really think that either side is doing what the other thinks they are.
Luca looks at me, like he’s waiting for me to continue. I know that he isn’t like this. I know that he doesn’t buy into all the conspiracy theories out there. He has said as much to me in the recent past. But I also know how hard it is to free yourself from familial expectations.
Thinking about it from that perspective, I realize that I need to take a moment to calm down. I take a deep breath. We are both coming at this problem from a place of insecurity and family loyalty. I don’t really believe that Luca’s family are bad people, and I hope that he doesn’t truly feel that my family are actually bad either. What we really need to do is have a conversation grounded in reality. We came here today to find a solution. From the way we’re acting, I’m not sure how we will ever reach that goal- or remain united!
“I’m sorry,” Luca says. “I don’t know why I’m acting this way. I don’t think you would ever do anything to harm me or my family, Marissa. My fathers craziness crept into my mind for a moment. I know you’d never do anything to hurt us… to hurt me. I… I just want to be able to figure this out. So my family can see how amazing you are, and you can get to know how awesome they are, and the same for me with your family! I just don’t understand why this is just so… impossible!”
This is the Luca I know and love. I reach across the table to take his hand. “You just love your family, like I love mine,” I say.
This fight doesn’t feel like any of the other fights I’ve had with exes before. This fight feels like it is coming from a place of love and hurt. I am still suspicious of Luca’s family, but not because I think that they are intentionally doing anything to harm our business. More than anything, I’m worried about the rumors that they might be spreading. Even Luca. It’s so easy to say something untrue and not even realize you said it.
“There’s still a lot that we need to discuss,” I add.
“I know,” Luca says. “And we haven’t worked out any possible solution to this either.”
I bite my lower lip. “ Is there a solution?” I ask, voicing the concern that has been lurking below the surface. “Because it feels like our parents - well, our dads , for sure - have already made up their minds.”
Luca sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I know that’s what it seems like, but I know that my dad has a rational side. At least, he used to. I feel like if I can just hit on the right thing to say, I’ll be able to bring that back,” he says.
I consider what he’s saying. “Is it possible that all of this is just a really poorly-timed coincidence?” I ask.
“That’s the most likely explanation. I just don’t see it being anything else,” he says.
As we eat, but I can feel the unasked questions lingering between us. I know that I should just ask them and get them out in the open. The words won’t come, though. We sit together, holding hands across the table. If anyone walks by us, they will assume that we are just another happy couple out on a date night.
Little do any of them know what’s really going on in our lives. We didn’t do what we came here to do: solve the major issues between our families. Now I’m not sure what we’re going to do. I think that I’m in love with Luca. I don’t want to betray my family, but I think that I might be willing to, if it comes to that.