Chapter 16
Sixteen
MARISSA
W e are meeting for Book Club at the library, which hasn’t been our usual spot lately. Violet has been hosting us in the private library in her mansion. It’s a surprisingly cozy spot. But she and her husband are currently having work done on their house, so we decided to go to the OG spot, where we started meeting in high school.
I like this little nook of the library, though. It brings back such good memories. The librarians even let us bring snacks. My favorite librarian, Abby, lingers in the doorway as she lets me in. She was a few years younger than us in high school.
“What book are you guys reading this month?” Abby asks.
“We’re reading Romeo and Juliet, ” I reply.
“Oh, I love that one!” Abby says.
“You should join us, Abby,” I say. “If you have time.”
Abby glances over her shoulder. “I can ask,” she says. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” I say.
“Well, okay then,” Abby says, her eyes lighting up with her huge grin. “I’ll go ask!”
Kaylee and Addie come into the little room as Abby walks out. “Hey, I invited Abby to join us,” I say. “Is that okay?”
“Of course,” Addie says. “Abby is a natural at everything book-related! Why didn’t we think to invite her before now?”
Violet arrives next, with apologies about us not being able to meet at her house. We assure her that it’s fine. Jackie and Ella come last. They all have the same reaction to Abby joining us. By the time Abby comes back after getting the okay from her boss to take a break and join us, everyone is thrilled to welcome her into the fold. We all settle into chairs around the room, and pull out our copies of Romeo and Juliet.
“So what are everyone’s initial thoughts?” Addie asks. She often takes the lead on things like this. “I know most of us read this in high school, but was it different for any of you now? Thoughts?”
“I actually like it better than I did in high school,” Kaylee says. “I never paid much attention during class, and it never made any sense to me.”
“And what’s different now?” Addie prompts.
“I’m a grown up,” Kaylee says, laughing. “No, but seriously. I think that since I was deciding to read it for myself this go-around, I paid more attention and noticed a lot more.”
“I agree,” Jackie chimes in. “I find myself enjoying it so much more this time around.”
“I have to be honest,” Violet says. “I’m not sure how much I’m enjoying it. I just don’t love Shakespeare.”
“I used to hate Shakespeare,” Abby says. “But then I tried it again and read it really slowly, and I loved it so much more.”
“I feel like Romeo and Juliet feels really removed from everyday life for most people,” I say. I pause because I don’t know what to say next. I’ve been so engrossed in work, Luca, and the family feud, that I haven’t updated the girls on Luca, and I’m not sure if I should divulge anymore quite yet, with Abby here and all.
Luckily, Ella jumps in. “I don’t know how I feel about it yet,” she says. “I think I’m going to need to finish it before I make any judgment calls.”
“Okay, great start,” Addie says. “Let’s dive into the first question. Do you think Romeo and Juliet’s love is real, or just infatuation?”
“Honestly, I don’t mean to be a cynic,” Violet says. “But isn’t Juliet supposed to be, like, fourteen ? How can that be real love?”
“I don’t know,” Kaylee counters. “I think that a fourteen-year-old can feel true love. Especially since, back then, girls were expected to get married around that age.”
“I think the real question becomes, do we actually believe that Romeo and Juliet fell in love-at-first-sight and not just lust at first sight,” Abby says.
“How many of us believe in true love-at-first-sight?” I ask.
Everyone looks at each other, like they’re waiting for someone else to raise their hand first. Finally, I raise my hand. Kaylee and Jackie raise their hands, too. Abby makes a so-so gesture. Everyone else shakes their heads. I’m kind of surprised. We’ve been reading romance novels for so long, that I just thought ‘love at first sight’ was a trope we all bought into. But then again, did I buy into it before I met Luca? I’m not so sure now.
“How deep can love-at-first-sight really be?” Ella asks. “I mean, if you know nothing about the other person, except what they look like, how can you say that you’re actually in love ?” Her gaze flickers to me, and she slightly jumps, “I mean, I’m sure it is possible in some situations…” She shrugs and smiles apologetically at me. I know she’s waiting for me to take the lead, with Abby here. I appreciate her thoughtfulness.
“I think it’s more of a soul connection than anything else,” Jackie says. I want to cheer for her because, yes, that’s what I felt the first time I locked eyes with Luca.
“Maybe everyone just has different experiences with how they fall in love,” Violet says. I can tell she doesn’t agree with the love-at-first-sight trope, but she wants to smooth everything over.
“Let’s move on to the next question,” Addie says. “How do you feel the family dynamics influence Romeo and Juliet?”
“I think it’s really easy to assume that Romeo and Juliet are going against their families wishes for them,” I say. “But it’s got to be a struggle. I’m sure they both felt immense loyalty to their families.”
“I found it really interesting how they both seemed to want to confide in someone important in their lives,” Ella says. “Like it’s clear that they both have a need for that family approval, but they know they won’t get it.”
“Right, like Juliet’s nurse is a substitute for her family,” Kaylee says.
“I like that idea,” Abby agrees.
“Do any of you feel like your family has been a challenge to you in your relationships?” Addie asks.
“All the time,” I say.
Several of my friends give me startled looks, but I shake my head and look down at my book. I know my friends completely support me. I just want to tread cautiously. I trust my girlfriends, but I also know that the more people that find out what’s going on, the more chances the news may somehow get back to our families. And then…I don’t even know what. I just know if it all hits the fan, the results could be devastating.
“I never felt that way,” Violet says. “My father has always been supportive of the people I’ve dated. I think I’m just realizing how blessed I am to have that.”
“I don’t feel like my family interfered,” Kaylee says. “Unless you count my Aunt Ruby pushing a little too hard for me to get together with Miles.” She chuckles, surely reminiscing.
“How is Aunt Ruby?” Addie asks. “I feel like we haven’t been over to the B and B in forever.”
“Maybe we should do next month’s Book Club there,” Jackie suggests.
“Oh, and maybe she would want to join us,” Addie says. “And you should join us again too, Abby.”
I’m glad that the conversation has veered away from me. Abby looks pleased, and she nods. I think it’s nice that we’re expanding our ranks after all these years. I love my friends dearly, but new perspectives are always nice to have.
“I’d like that very much,” Abby says.
“I’m sure Aunt Ruby would, too,” Kaylee says. “I know she loves to read just as much as we all do. Sometimes I think that she’s lonely, even though the B and B is always full.”
“She has you,” Ella says.
“I know,” Kaylee says. “But I just wish she could find someone special. Nearly all of us have.”
I can feel people’s eyes flicker to me. I’m not sure what Abby’s romantic status is, but of our friend group, I’m the only one still unmarried. My resolve wobbles. These are my girls, and I can’t help it; I have to spill my heart! Abby is just going to have to be okay being ushered into our unspoken loyalty here. I can’t keep things in any longer.
“I have to update you all,” I blurt out. Now everyone really is looking at me. “Abby- can I count on your confidence? I am about to burst, but this has to remain just within Book Club ears.”
Abby nods solemnly. “My lips are sealed. You can trust me.” I pause, and almost instantly, a peace washes over me. I find that I believe her without question. I just know that I can trust her.
“So, as I have already shared, I met someone- Luca . We’ve continued to date for a bit now. It’s definitely… well, it’s very serious.”
There are gasps and congratulations all around the table. “You think he’s the One ?” Kaylee demands.
I close my eyes, and immediately Luca’s face runs through my mind, and when I open my eyes again, I am aware of the huge grin that has spread across my face. “Yes, I know he is. But, well… the family feud just seems to be getting worse, instead of better. We honestly don’t know how to help our families work through this stupid rivalry. So here we are, two grown adults, sneaking around and meeting up in secret. It’s absurd and nerve-wracking!”
“How’d you meet?” Jackie asks. “And why haven’t I heard about him before now?”
I think I detect a note of hurt in her voice. “We met at Violet’s masquerade ball. And we’ve been keeping it a secret. I haven’t told anyone. And you all have to keep it a secret. If my family found out, well, it wouldn’t be good.”
“Why? Is he a criminal? Do you need Will to do a background check on him?” Addie asks.
I choke out a laugh. “No, he’s not a criminal. It’s just that his parents own Venetian Dreams over in Fox River Falls.”
My friends exchange puzzled looks. “Why would that matter?” Addie asks.
“It’s a long story, but currently Venetian Dreams is Little Italy’s archnemesis,” I say. “And Luca is the oldest son.”
“Wow,” Abby says. “It’s just like you’re in your own version of Romeo and Juliet. ”
“Yeah,” I agree. “It’s been feeling like the story is hitting a little too close to home. And honestly, it doesn’t feel romantic at all. Well… I mean, Luca is very romantic; but the situation is … well, if anything, it’s super stressful.”
“What do you think your parents will say if they do find out?” Kaylee asks.
“Right now? Who even knows? I think they would try to prevent me from seeing him again, but that’s not realistic. We are so good together, and I know we are meant to be. I just needed to tell you guys,” I say. “I’ve been so excited about this relationship, but we’ve had to sneak around. Neither family would be happy to know that we’re together. That part sucks. Even though it’s ridiculous, two adults, hiding and sneaking around to be together!”
“We want you to be happy,” Ella says, reaching across the gap between our chairs and squeezing my hand. “But be careful, okay? We also don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I don’t have any experience navigating the kind of family dynamic that you have going on,” Abby says. “But I’ve learned a lot from my grandparents’ relationship, and I’d say that, if you know you have a strong foundation, then you do. You just have to trust yourself and each other.”
Kaylee nods. “Sometimes, adversity helps strengthen you as a couple.”
“And if you work together to come up with solutions, that can bond you together as well,” Addie says.
“I still can’t believe you met the love of your life at my ball, and I didn’t even realize it,” Violet says.
Jackie shakes her head. “Oh, Violet. You were a little busy.”
“Yeah, but I should have seen it happening,” Violet says. “I knew that night was magical. I just didn’t realize how magical.”
“How do you guys think I should approach my family?” I ask.
“When the time is right, you should be honest with them,” Addie says. “But make sure that they know you are only telling them because you love them. Your relationship isn’t actually their business.”
“I’m scared they’re going to disown me or something,” I admit.
“They love you. They won’t disown you,” Jackie says. I look at her and she nods at me encouragingly. She knows my family the best of all my friends, so I definitely trust her opinion. It’s just so hard for me to admit that fear out loud.
“I don’t have any advice,” Ella says. “I just want to know when we get to meet him.”
We all laugh, but I have to admit that I don’t know what the answer to that is. Hearing all of my friends encourage and support me has made me feel even closer to them than I did before. I didn’t even know that this feeling was possible. They’ve always been there for me, but now I feel like they understand me that much better.
As the meeting winds down, I can’t help but think how differently Romeo and Juliet’s story might have turned out if they had the support that I have. I also start thinking about the fact that I don’t know what kind of support Luca has. I’ll have to ask him. I know that this is part of what my friends were talking about, when they were saying they don’t believe in love-at-first-sight. A big part of that is the fact that it is true that I don’t know everything about Luca. But, isn’t that true in a lot of relationships? There’s always more to learn and discover about your Beloved, right? I do know, though, that I know enough about him already to know that I love him.
While they’re planning the next Book Club meeting, I listen but don’t contribute. I find that I don’t have much to say. I’m afraid that if I open my mouth, I might cry from sheer happiness at the way my friends love me, the way Luca loves me, and the way I hope my family shows me that they love me- regardless of whom I choose to love.
I bid everyone goodbye and start the walk home. My stroll reminds me of the walk Luca and I took through Cranberry Creek in the middle of the night. We had such a good talk that night, and the discussion we just had at Book Club has a similar feeling to me. I know that they’re all rooting for me. So, even if my parents are angry with me, I know that I have support. And they will come around eventually, I have to believe. They would just have to.
I’m not good at opening up about my fears. Being vulnerable isn’t my strong suit, but today’s Book Club meeting proved to me that sometimes, taking that risk with the people who love you, is really worthwhile. I gained a sense of security that I didn’t know I needed. I think I take my friendships for granted. Most of these women have been in my life since I was in junior high. I decide to make an effort to be mindful of these friendships, and to never take them for granted again.