Chapter 21 Richard
RICHARD
I want to do something special to celebrate Angus’s results, so I’ve booked an Airbnb in Sheffield.
Not too far, but hopefully far enough away that we don’t have to be too wary or look over our shoulders.
Not that I intend to take him out. Instead, I’ve planned a cosy night ‘at home’.
I arrive first, in plenty of time to make the penthouse apartment feel special with mood lighting, rose petals in the bedroom and bathroom, soft music, and the food I plan on cooking this evening.
When he arrives, I let him into the apartment and then draw him into my arms for a long, loving kiss.
Afterwards, he glances around, eyes widening. “This is very swanky. You didn’t spend too much, did you?”
“No. I wanted to treat you. Speaking of which, how long are you going to keep me in suspense?”
He blushes. “My results. Right.”
“Yes, your results. How did you do?” I could have checked, but opted not to.
Grinning, he pulls out his official results slip and shows it to me.
“A first? Congratulations. See? What did I tell you? You have a brilliant mind.”
“I think it’s more that I put in a lot of hard work.”
“That too.”
He releases a giddy sigh. “I’m just glad it’s all over. I can relax now. For a heartbeat until I start job hunting in earnest.”
“For more than a heartbeat, I hope?”
“For the rest of the evening, at least.”
“Were your parents pleased?” I hold my breath as I await his response. Tensions run high between him and his dad, but surely the man must see what a huge achievement Angus’ final grade is?
“Mum was ecstatic. She screamed down the phone and promised she’d be back in time to see me graduate. I have to warn you, she’s planning a meal out afterwards, so I probably won’t get to see you that day.”
“That’s fine.” I lead him to the plush, oversized sofa, where we sit beside each other, thighs brushing. I hold his hand, brushing my thumb back and forth. “We can celebrate another time. What about your dad?”
“He said ‘well done’.” A quiver of disappointment runs through Angus’ words. “Which is probably about as much as I’ll ever get. My dad is an understated man. He’s never been one to heap praise on anyone.”
“I’m sorry.”
Angus shrugs. “It’s fine. At least he said that much. He could have said nothing. He could have reiterated that he thinks I’ve wasted my time. He didn’t. So, I’ll take it.”
I wish his dad had been more forthcoming with praise.
“Everything’s going to change now.”
“How so?”
“A lot of my friends are drifting away—some to go back home, others to travel. One or two already have jobs lined up. Steph is going to America to explore the bodybuilding circuit over there. Jimmy’s the only one who’s staying.”
“You’ll all keep in touch.”
“Will we? Are you still in touch with all your uni friends?”
I blow out a breath. “Well, no, but…”
“See? People move on. Find new friends, and get on with their lives. We might keep in touch at first, but, bit by bit, we’ll exchange fewer emails and phone calls, until we eventually realise it’s been a year or more.”
I knead his shoulder in what I hope is a comforting gesture. His muscles are tense. “What’s brought all this on? You should be happy and celebrating. You got a First!”
“Existential dread about having to become an adult?”
“I hate to break this to you, but you’re already an adult.”
“Yeah, but I’ve never had to get a job or pay bills before.”
“Doesn’t working on the farm count as a job?”
“Maybe, if I’d been paid for it.”
“It counts,” I say gently but firmly.
He wipes his hands over his face. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m being such a downer.”
“Existential dread?”
He laughs. The tension slips out of his shoulders. “That’s the one.”
“If it’s any consolation, I felt the same way.”
He widens his eyes. “You did?”
“Yes. University is a bubble, where you get to put off adulthood for a few more years. It’s as much about socialising and partying as it is about studying.”
“More, for some people.”
I chuckle. “Yes. Then, it ends abruptly, and suddenly you’re faced with moving out of student accommodation, finding a job, and all that jazz. It’s daunting and overwhelming.”
“It really is. How did you cope?”
I hesitate before replying. “I didn’t do it alone.”
“Ashley.”
“Yes.”
“Did it help, going through the transition from student to real life with someone else?”
“I think so, yes.” I don’t want him to take my statement as pressure to move in with me.
We haven’t talked about it much, other than him letting me know he’s still thinking about it. He can take as much time as he needs. Maybe now isn’t the right time. I’ll wait. He’s worth it. I chuckle as I remember the beauty adverts.
“Something funny?”
“Not you.” I gather his hands in mine.
He play-scowls. “Hey! My jokes are hilarious, thank you.”
“You didn’t make a joke.”
“No, but I could.”
I press my lips together and then relent with a nod.
“Which civilisation was best at algebra?”
I raise my eyebrows, inviting him to give me the answer I can easily guess.
“The Romans, because X was always ten.”
I groan and then kiss him. “Never change.”
“I will. We both will.”
“Then we can change together.”
He sucks in a breath.
I wince internally. I need to stop thinking more long-term than he can cope with.
“I’d like that,” he whispers.
My heart patters. Maybe he can cope with it.
“I’ve derailed the evening long enough. What do you have planned?”
“Cook dinner together and then a long, lazy bubble bath.”
“Sounds nice, but, uh, I’m a big guy. I tend to fill bathtubs.”
“You haven’t seen the bathtub.”
He arches his brow. “Now I’m intrigued. I have to see the bath.”
Still holding his hand, I lead him into the bathroom.
His jaw drops, and his eyes practically bug out of his head.
To be fair, the bathroom is impressive. The floor, walls, and ceiling are lined in warm brown marble.
It has a double sink, a walk-in shower, and a huge roll-top, free-standing bath that rests beside a wall-to-ceiling window with fantastic views over the city.
“Wow. Mum would call that a Flake bath.”
“A what-now?”
“No idea. She said it’s because of an advert that was on TV before I was born.” He nudges me. “Probably before you were born, too, Professor. This is Mum’s dream bath. She’s always wanted one.”
“But?”
“Dad says they’re too expensive.” He chews his lower lip. “But maybe, once I’m working, I could treat her to a night in a place like this.”
“So she can spend all evening in her dream bath?”
“Yes.”
I chuckle and hug him from behind. “Does adulting seem a bit less daunting now?”
“No less daunting, but at least I could do something to make Mum happy. To thank her for everything. But mostly to thank her for finding Flynn to take over from me on the farm.” He turns to face me and loops his arms over my shoulders. “You mentioned cooking dinner together?”
“Yes, if you’re up for it?”
“Absolutely. In fact, I’m looking forward to it.”
After dinner, we light candles, run a bath, add lots of bubbles, and lounge in it together, occasionally running a little water out, so we can add more hot water.
Angus cradles me in his arms, my back against his chest, his legs around me.
We tried it the other way around, but our size difference made it unworkable.
“This is so nice. It’s the perfect way to celebrate my results, thank you, Professor.”
“You’re welcome.”
He sighs and leans his head back, sloshing the water and jostling me. “I could stay here all night.”
“We’d turn into prunes.”
“It would be a price I’m willing to pay.” He slides his hand up and down my arm. “I didn’t know things would turn out this way when I asked if you were okay in the pub that night.”
I thread my fingers through his and lift his hand to my lips so I can kiss the back of it. “Any regrets?”
“None at all. You make me happy.”
I smile. “So do you.”
“You were serious, weren’t you, about moving in together?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think we’re ready for that kind of step?”
“We already spend a lot of time together.”
“True…”
“And we didn’t get on each other’s nerves during our holiday.”
Angus chuckles. “Also true.”
“And it wouldn’t be right away. Your graduation ceremony is a couple of weeks away, and then we agreed to wait a month before we go public.”
“I’d need to get a job first. If we’re going to do this, we need to be equal partners. Besides, we’ll get a better place if we combine our salaries.”
I catch my breath. Does that mean he wants to move in with me?
“It might take me a while to get a job.”
“I’ll wait.”
He kisses my jaw. “I know. Besides, it would look pretty suspicious if we moved in straight after getting together. We can’t let people know how long we’ve been together.”
“When we go public, we pretend it’s a new relationship?”
“It seems sensible, doesn’t it?”
I purse my lips. “I suppose so.”
“I want to protect you.”
I reach up and back to stroke his jaw. “You don’t need to. I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”
“And mistakes?”
“You’re not a mistake.”
He rests his hand on my chest, flicking his thumb lazily over my nipple. “Let’s do it.”
My heart skips. “Move in together?”
“Yes. Not immediately, but soon. By the end of the year,” he says decisively.
It’s early July, so the end of the year feels like a long way away, but it’s still a promise that it will happen. We will move in together.
“You’re sure?” I ask.
“Yes. I’ve never been flat hunting before.” He sounds a little overwhelmed. “Or should we be looking at houses? Do you want pets, or kids, or—”
I laugh and squeeze his hand. “Let’s see what we can afford, and where we want to live, and that will dictate what type of property we can look for.”
Angus exhales slowly. “I need to slow down, don’t I?”
“A little.”
“It’s just, now I’ve made the decision, I’m giddy about it.”
“And that’s adorable. As for pets and kids… Let’s get used to living together first,” I say.
Angus’s chin knocks against my shoulder briefly.
We’re quiet for a long time, holding each other. I kiss Angus’s hand, and he kisses my neck and shoulder. The water laps and sloshes around us whenever we move. We let some out and then top it up. Our skin becomes wrinkly.
“We should talk about kids,” Angus whispers. “If we’re serious enough about each other to move in together, it means we want a future.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. Do you?”
“Yes.” Without even a shred of doubt in my heart. I want to be with Angus, now and for the foreseeable future.
“Then we need to talk about kids, because if we’re divided on it, it’s ultimately a deal breaker.”
Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that Angus is a few years my junior.
“I’ve never thought about having kids,” I admit.
“You and Ashley didn’t talk about it?”
“We agreed to shelve the discussion until we were established in our careers.”
“Did you?”
I shake my head. “We never got around to talking about it again. But, you have to remember, I didn’t go straight into work after my undergraduate degree, I did a Master’s and then a PhD.
That’s an extra four years of studying. I’m not sure I’ve been a lecturer for long enough to define myself as established. ”
Angus rests his chin on my shoulder. “Was that the only reason it didn’t come up again?”
I tap the top of the water, creating tiny splashes. “Probably not. I don’t think either of us felt strongly enough about wanting kids. Maybe we just weren’t at the right point in our lives. Maybe having kids wasn’t a priority. Have you ever thought about whether you’d want kids or not?”
“No.” It’s a quick and simple answer. “I’m sure Mum would like grandkids, but that’s not a reason to have them.”
“No. Kids completely change your way of life.”
“Right? I think I’m probably too selfish to want kids. I mean, would we be able to spend over an hour in the bath if we had kids?”
“No.”
“Would we be able to go to our beauty spot on a whim to make love under the stars?”
I chuckle. “Definitely not.”
“Exactly. We’d need to find babysitters and plan. It would suck the romance and spontaneity right out of everything.”
“Until they’re old enough to stay home alone.”
“How long would that take?”
“Oh, at least fourteen years, maybe longer, depending on how sensible they were.”
Angus shudders. “I don’t want kids. Do you?”
“No. Let’s be selfishly in love instead.”
He hums. “Selfishly in love. I like the sound of that. Do you know what else I like the sound of?”
“What?”
“You, me, the king-sized bed, and some lube.”
I frown. “How do you know what size the bed is?” He’s been with me the whole time, and we haven’t been near the bedroom. Yet.
“I’m assuming you wouldn’t have rented this place if it didn’t have a decent-sized bed. That’s something to add to our home-hunting checklist, by the way.”
“A king-sized bed?”
“No! A bedroom big enough to fit a king-sized bed.”
I laugh. “I’m not going to argue with that.”
“Is the bed a king-sized?”
“What would you say if I prioritised the bath over the bed?”
He gasps in mock-horror. “You didn’t.”
“You’re right, I didn’t. We have a huge bath and a huge bed.”
“Oh, thank fuck.” He twirls his fingertips over my shoulder. “So… you and me in bed with some lube?”
“Wonderful.”
“What time do we have to be out of here tomorrow?”
“Eleven. Why?”
“Oh, good. We’re going to need to sleep in.”
I raise my eyebrows. “We are?”
“Yes. Because we’re going to spend all night making love to each other.”
“All night?”
“Problem?”
I shake my head. “Only my stamina.”
“We can have rests in between.”
“You’re so kind.” I sit and then carefully get out of the bath, sloshing water as I go. The last thing either of us wants is a night in casualty because we’ve slipped on the water that’s ended up on the marble floor.
Angus pulls the plug and then joins me. We blow out the candles and grab fluffy white towels, drying ourselves as we walk the short distance to the bedroom.
“You put rose petals in here, too!”
“I wanted to spoil you.”
Angus drops his towel, whisks mine away, and pulls me into his arms. He stares into my eyes. “I have been well and truly spoiled. Now come spoil my hole.”
“Gladly. Will you spoil mine later?”
He grins. “I’d love to.”