Chapter 16
Jenna briefly toyed with the idea of asking the twins not to say anything about what their father had told them, but she dismissed the thought very quickly.
It wasn’t fair to expect them to keep secrets from their grandma and the rest of the family, especially on top of the news they’d had to deal with already today.
As she parked the car, her mum walked round the side of the house and waved a tape measure at them.
‘Heard you pull up,’ she said. ‘I’ve been measuring up the windows on the green shepherd’s hut. I’ve picked out some smashing curtains for it. Do you—?’
She broke off and narrowed her eyes as Jenna and the twins walked slowly towards her.
It would have been obvious that something was wrong, even if Jenna wasn’t struggling to hold back tears.
The way the twins were behaving was a dead giveaway.
Usually, they’d have rushed over to their grandma and thrown themselves at her, telling her all about their visit to the burger bar. Instead, they were quiet and subdued.
‘What is it?’ her mum asked worriedly, looking from the girls to Jenna. ‘What’s happened?’
‘Mummy and Daddy have separated,’ Hallie said flatly.
‘He’s not going to live with us ever again,’ Ada told her, her eyes swimming with tears.
Jenna could barely look at her mum, who was now watching her closely, even as her arms went around the girls.
‘Mind that tape measure,’ Jenna said automatically.
Her mum threw it carelessly on the path and hugged the twins to her, giving Jenna such a compassionate look that she had to turn away.
‘I’ll put the kettle on, shall I?’ was all she could manage.
Jenna hurried inside Watersmeet, closing her eyes briefly as she heard Ada say plaintively, ‘But he’s still our daddy, isn’t he, Grandma? Even if he doesn’t live with us, it still counts, doesn’t it?’
She’d known, deep down, that Ada would struggle with this a bit more than Hallie.
Hallie was always more philosophical about things, and she’d never seemed to have that need for Joel that Ada sometimes displayed.
She would have to watch Ada. Although, she supposed, she would have to watch them both.
Just because Hallie didn’t say much it didn’t mean she wasn’t feeling it. She knew that from personal experience.
‘They’ve gone to look at the shepherd’s hut,’ her mum murmured behind her. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve cheered them up a bit. I’ve told them they can have a sleepover in one when we’ve got it all furnished and ready.’
Jenna hadn’t even heard her mother come into the kitchen. She nodded without looking round, dropping teabags into two mugs and reaching for the sugar.
‘Jenna, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Well, it was… I mean, it wasn’t definite.
I didn’t know for sure. And I certainly didn’t know he was going to tell the girls today.
’ She tried so hard to keep her voice neutral, but that last sentence was too much for her.
Her words wobbled dangerously and she swallowed hard, trying to stay in control.
A moment later and she was in her mum’s arms. Somehow Alison had turned her round and pulled her into an embrace without her even noticing.
‘I’m so sorry, love,’ she soothed, as she stroked Jenna’s hair.
It was too much. Jenna’s sobs wracked her body as she clung to her mum, finally releasing all the pain and anguish that she’d tried so hard to keep a lid on for – how long? Weeks? Months? Years?
‘He’s got someone else, Mum,’ she cried. ‘He says he loves her.’
‘Oh, Jenna.’
‘He says he doesn’t love me. He says he hasn’t been in love with me since I had the twins…’
Fresh sobs stifled her attempts to explain just how impossible this situation was. She wanted to scream and shout, and demand to know how the man who had promised to love and cherish her forever could say such terrible things.
Because now she’d started to ask these questions, they just kept on coming.
How could he abandon her for a woman who took him to a stupid burger bar where the staff wore green dungarees and silly hats?
How could he walk away from their comfortable family home, chosen in such excitement and hope, and furnished and decorated with love over the years, to live in one of those new flats he’d always dismissed as soulless boxes just because Nettie lived there?
Most terrible of all, how could he leave behind his two beautiful, bright daughters, who deserved a father who loved them more than life itself and would never dream of abandoning them?
She wasn’t sure how much of all that she’d said aloud, but she suddenly realised she was babbling and her mum was saying gently, ‘Hush now, hush. It will all be all right. It will be okay.’
Jenna pulled herself together, realising the twins could walk in at any moment. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, and her mum gave her a tissue to mop up the rest of her tears.
‘I’m sorry,’ Jenna whispered, her voice hoarse and her throat sore.
‘You don’t have anything to be sorry for. We’ll talk properly later when the twins are in bed. For now, I’ll make you that cup of tea and then you should go up and get some rest. Maybe have a nice warm bath? I’ll look after the twins.’
‘I’ve got work tonight,’ Jenna said, wiping her nose on the tissue. ‘I can’t let Sam down.’
‘I can speak to him. Tell him you’re under the weather…’
Jenna shook her head. ‘It wouldn’t be fair.’
‘I’m sure Mac would do the extra shift for you.’
‘Honestly, Mum, I’ll be—’
‘—fine,’ her mum finished flatly. ‘You always are, aren’t you? Until you’re not.’ She gave Jenna a searching look. ‘This has been going on for some time, hasn’t it?’
‘We will talk later,’ Jenna said. ‘I promise. But right now, I have to make sure the twins are okay. They’re my priority. We’ll talk when I get back from the pub if you’re still awake, and if not…’
‘Oh,’ her mum said, reaching out to stroke Jenna’s hair, ‘I’ll be awake. Don’t you worry about that, sweetheart.’
Sam was pretty sure that Jenna had been crying. She arrived a little late for the shift, full of apologies but not really meeting his eye. Even so he could see redness and swelling around her own eyes that told the story.
He mentally shook his head. Bloody Joel, no doubt!
She threw herself into her work, but he could tell she wasn’t herself.
She gave the wrong order to the kitchen, took a plate of rib-eye steak and chips to a table full of vegetarians, and dropped a glass behind the counter, sending a shower of best bitter everywhere and leaving shards of glass all over the floor.
‘I’m so sorry! I’ll clean it up,’ she said, obviously mortified.
Sam noticed the looks she was getting from various customers. She sounded on the verge of hysteria, and it was clear she wasn’t fit for work.
‘Look, why don’t you go home?’ he said gently. ‘There’s obviously something wrong and you’re in no state to work tonight.’
‘No, it’s okay, honestly. I really didn’t mean to mess up so much. I’ll do better,’ she said breathlessly.
Sam frowned, not sure what to do for the best. ‘Right, go upstairs and make yourself a cup of tea,’ he said at last. ‘Dad won’t mind.
Have a sit down at the kitchen table, drink your tea and clear your head.
If you don’t feel ready to work again, it will be okay. Just tell me. I won’t mind, honestly.’
‘I just…’ Jenna paused. ‘Okay, a cup of tea. Just five minutes to get my head straight. Thank you.’
Sam nodded and watched her leave, a worried look on his face. Then he got on with cleaning up the mess behind the bar before returning to serving.
About ten minutes later he looked up, astounded to see his dad heading towards him.
He couldn’t even remember the last time his dad had come into the bar, and as a few heads turned in their direction, he knew that some of the customers were thinking the same thing.
There were some delighted smiles and a bit of murmuring, and a few of them drifted over to the counter to say hello.
Seb didn’t even seem to notice.
‘She’s in a right state up there,’ he said bluntly.
Sam’s stomach tightened in dread. ‘Jenna?’
‘Who else? Sobbing her little heart out, she is. Heard her even over East Riding Round-Up. Had to give up watching it, but I didn’t go into the kitchen. She might be embarrassed, and why would she want to talk to me anyway? But I think you need to see to her, lad.’
Sam looked helplessly around. ‘But the pub!’
‘Never mind the pub.’ Seb squared his shoulders. ‘I can see to this place. It’s that young lass who needs you now. Go and see what’s up with her, cos something is and it’s hard to listen to all that crying, I’ll tell you that for nowt.’
Sam was dazed at his father’s offer to help in the bar, but his priority right then was Jenna and finding out what had happened to her.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Might go some way to getting into their good books,’ Seb said with a shrug, nodding towards the kitchen. ‘They’re not best pleased with me since I told them about the pub going up for sale.’
And who, thought Sam, could blame them? Although he still felt as if it were his fault.
‘Thanks, Dad,’ he said.
His father nodded and turned to one of the customers. ‘Right then. What can I get you?’
Sam barely had time to register with satisfaction how at home and completely normal his dad had just sounded. Running up the stairs, he found Jenna at the kitchen table, head in her hands, crying as if the end of the world had just been announced.
‘What is it?’ he asked, dropping into the chair next to hers. ‘Has something happened?’
Without even thinking about it, he put his arms around her, and she allowed him to hold her as she rested her head against his chest, sobbing even harder, if that were possible.
It was difficult for him to understand what she was saying, and he kept having to ask her to repeat things.