Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
SUTTON
- Present Day -
“ W ell, are you going to fucking kiss her, or not?”
My body tenses at Jonah’s words, even as I find myself leaning back into his touch. What the hell is happening right now? Did Jonah really just say what I think he said?
Cal’s eyes widen with shock, but as Jonah firmly nudges me forward, I see the shift in his hazel eyes as they flare with something else. . . desire . But still, I can see the hesitation on Cal’s face, even as Jonah urges me closer encouragingly.
Quickly, I turn my head, shifting my gaze away from the man before me, the man that I have always wanted, to shoot my closest friend a ‘ what the fuck? ’ look.
Jonah just quirks a sardonic brow at me, not saying anything.
Do you trust me? He doesn’t have to say it.
Of course I trust him. Always. From the corner of my eye, I see Cal take a cautious step forward, and I find myself leaning back harder into Jonah’s steady hand, my body warring with confusion, fear, and a desperate need of my own.
“She doesn’t trust you with her heart. Or with her body.
” Jonah’s words are spoken with a confidence I don’t possess as he speaks to Cal, but his eyes never leave my own as he continues speaking.
“But she does want you .” There is a brief, calculating pause, and from the corner of my eye I can see the slight tilt of Jonah’s head, as if taking in the scene.
“And she does trust me .” This time, he steps forward with me as he gently pushes me closer to Cal.
Now we’re mere inches apart, and my breath hitches as my uncertain gaze shifts from Jonah to Cal once more.
“You do trust me, Baby Girl?”
A shiver trails down my spine as Jonah’s lips brush against my ear, his question meant only for me.
I swallow, my heart pounding in my ears as I nod slowly, not even needing to think about my response. Licking my lips, a heat fills me from the touch of Jonah’s hand placed tenderly on my back, and the heated gaze emanating from the man of my childhood dreams now standing before me.
“I need your words, Farley.”
My mouth opens, but I can’t get the words out. I swallow once more, my mouth having gone as dry as the Sahara Desert.
“Y-yes.”
“Remember the Serenity Room?”
My breath hitches as memories flare.
The sensual music and candlelight. The fire in his eyes.
The feel of Jonah’s mouth on me. . . everywhere.
The other people in the room, watching. Participating.
It was so outrageously outside of my comfort zone, but Jonah had asked me to trust him then, too.
I did trust him that night at the club; I do now, too.
It was a night that’s burned into my brain in the most deliciously sinful, decadent manner, and one that I have refused to let myself think about since.
No matter how amazing it was, it’s not worth risking losing one of my best friends over just for one night of uninhibited passion.
At his prompting, however, against my better judgement, my eyes close and I let the memories wash over me now.
I don’t have to see his face to feel Jonah’s lips pull into a smirk as they run along the shell of my ear, gently nipping in approval at my traitorous body’s acknowledgement of that night that we had both agreed to forget.
“ Good girl .”
His words are a soft whisper, meant only for me, and a shiver races down my spine. A soft kiss is placed along the edge of my collarbone before he slowly pulls away, and my heart gives a lurch of . . . no, it can’t be longing . . .
“I’m only gonna say this once, asshole. If you want to kiss her, then get the fuck over here. Now.”
My eyes shoot open once more as I’m drawn back to the present, only to find a glaring Callum standing inches away, hands clenched into fists at his side as he takes in the scene before him.
But Jonah doesn’t wait for a response. With a huff of annoyance, Jonah grabs Cal by the shirt fisting the material in a tight grip as he yanks him the final inches forward, and suddenly, I’m left breathless as Jonah and Callum surround me, sucking out what little oxygen remains in the room.
Baleful hazel eyes glare over my shoulder for just a moment, before fixating on my face, searching for answers to a question that I don’t know how to give.
Before I can process another thought, the hands that I have yearned for are touching me, cradling my face in a soft caress as lips press gently against my own.
The kiss is soft, gentle. Everything I had hoped our first kiss would be, and nothing like what I need here, at this moment. Closing my eyes, I hesitantly lean into the gentle touch as his lips explore my own in a languid perusal.
“Come on now, you can do better than that. ”
Jonah’s voice breaks through the haze, but I don’t know if he is speaking to Callum or myself.
“Kiss her like you mean it, asshole.”
Ah, Callum then .
A hand pulls away from my face, and I don’t have to look to know that Callum is flipping Jonah the bird, even as he tilts his head, deepening our connection, and teasing me with his tongue.
Though it shouldn’t, the change in dynamic throws me off and I tense, my mind a tilt-a-whirl circling back to a much younger and more vulnerable me, and my eyes fly open once more.
But Jonah just chuckles, breaking through the momentary panic.
“Your turn, Baby Girl.” His words are a soft caress against my ear as he nips me once more. “Relax.”
In the history of all time, I cannot think of a single freaking instance where someone actually relaxes after being told to relax.
Instead, I find myself tensing further. Callum’s hands are in my hair, my head tilted up to lean further into his kiss, and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
But my mind is spinning and I can’t let go as thoughts from the past threaten to drown me in the present.
I squeeze my eyes tighter, forcing myself to breathe and focus on the feel of his lips.
Not on the fact that we’re at a party like the one all those years ago, feet away from a door where anyone could walk in and see us.
Not the fact that Cal broke my innocent teenage heart time and time again until I was nothing more than a shattered mess lying on my bathroom floor.
Not the fact that he’s a hockey player, and I swore off all hockey players – including Jonah - after the shit I dealt with between him, Frankie and Benny.
As if he can feel my hesitation, my spiraling thoughts, Cal starts to pull away, but relents, giving in to the moment. . until Jonah interrupts .
“Don’t stop kissing her.”
Cal does pull away then, glaring once more over my shoulder.
“What the fuck, dude. Why are you even here?”
I don’t have to be facing Jonah to feel his eye roll or the sarcasm radiating off him in waves.
“You want her.”
Cal doesn’t respond.
“You want her . And she wants you . But she is too in her own head to get past all the shit that happened in your guys’ past, so if you want her , then just do as I fucking say.”
Taking a step back, Cal shakes his head emphatically.
“No, this is so fucking messed up. What the actual hell, dude?”
I close my eyes, tears stinging the back of my eyelids.
It’s not a rejection. He isn’t rejecting me, just the situation itself.
At least, that is what I tell myself. This is my own damn fault.
I couldn’t just relax and be in the moment.
This is a me issue. Not a him issue. I hear soft footsteps as Jonah circles around to my front, feeling the invisible barrier as he puts himself between the two of us.
“Sutton is my girl . I know her in a way you never did. Know her body in a way you never could . Yet for some goddamn reason unbeknownst to me, this beautiful fucking treasure of a woman has never been able to get past the hurt you put her through or her own damn need for you. You want her? Then you’re gonna play by my fucking rules.
She knows that I will always keep her safe; so the only way this is going to work is if you get off your high fucking horse, and get it through your thick fucking skull that I’m going to be right here for every fucking second of this shitshow and whatever you two manage to do together. ”
Jonah’s hand clasps tightly around my own and he gives a reassuring squeeze. I refuse to open my eyes until I can be sure they won’t be glassy with tears. Cal doesn’t get to see that part of me anymore. I refuse to be that girl again.
“Now if you want a real chance with Sutton, since you can’t seem to get your shit together, and she can’t get out of her own damn head, then you’ll wait an hour before meeting us back at our place so she is on her fucking turf when shoot your shot.
That is, if you can finally stop pussyfooting around. ”
An arm wraps around my shoulders, turning me, and I finally open my eyes as Jonah guides me toward the door.
“Come on, Farley. I’ve got you.”
“What the hell, man? I’m hosting this damn party for our team . I can’t just leave.”
“One hour, dickhead. Come with your best moves, or don’t bother coming back at all.”
“Fuck you, Newbie!”
Jonah shakes his head, pushing me through the door and into the noisy hall, not bothering to respond.