30. Put it Away, Fabio!
thirty
Put it Away, Fabio!
Dylan
“ D o you think my tattoos are going to get all deformed when I get fat?” Leah asks.
Looking at her, I say, “You know, I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth.”
She looks at herself in the mirror, turning sideways to examine her stomach. She lifts up her shirt to reveal the tiny pooch underneath.
“Do I look pregnant?” She asks.
“Not really. You look like you just ate a couple of big cheeseburgers.”
She pushes on her belly. “It’s kind of hard.”
“I’ll show you kind of hard,” I joke.
She rolls her eyes. “Keep it in your pants until we get home.”
“Hey, I’m not the one who wanted it this morning when we woke up…and then, in the middle of lunch.”
“I didn’t hear you complaining,” she tells me.
“Oh, gorgeous. I will never complain about that. ”
“Besides, don’t blame me for my increased libido. Blame your love child growing inside me.”
“Why would I blame them? I should be sending them a thank-you card.”
Changing the subject, she asks, “Do you think I look okay for dinner with your family?”
“I think you look great. It’s nothing formal.”
“What if they hate me?”
I walk over to her and set my hands on her hips. “A, they’re not going to hate you. And B, even if they did, it doesn’t matter. I don’t give a fuck about what they think.”
“Yeah, yeah. You say that now, but wait until they bring out the torches and pitchforks.”
“Let them try,” I say with a kiss on her cheek.
Her eyes get big. “What if they know that we had sex?”
My eyes shoot down to her stomach. “I’m pretty sure they’ve figured that out…with the baby and all.”
She playfully smacks me on the shoulder. “I mean that we are having sex now.”
“Why does that matter?”
“I don't know.” Her shoulder shrugs. “It’s just weird.”
“Leah, this may seem like a strange concept, but I don’t think they would have a problem with it. I mean, we are having a kid together.”
A look of embarrassment crosses her features. “Sorry. My brain is a little all over the place. And I’ve never met the family before.”
“Never?” I ask .
“Dylan, I don’t spend time with my own family. I don’t make a habit of spending time with other people’s.”
I pull her close and wrap my arms around her. “Thank you for agreeing to do this for me.”
“You’re welcome. I expect more orgasms later.”
“Gorgeous, I’ll give you as many of them as you want.” That’s sure as shit a promise I intend to keep.
When Leah came out of her room last night, asking me to make her come, I about blew my load right then and there. Despite how sexy she always looks, I vowed to be a perfect gentleman until she asked for more.
And I’m happy as fuck she did last night.
Well, she asked for orgasms but still said she didn’t know if she wanted a relationship—which is fine. I’m still not going to push her.
I’m also aware that we are basically already in a relationship. We spend all our time together. We aren’t seeing anyone else. And now, we are having sex again. All of those things together usually add up to a relationship.
I’m aware of that fact. I’ll wait for Leah to catch up.
As we walk through the door of my childhood home, I realize we are the last ones to arrive. I should have known that nobody would be late to the first dinner that I brought Leah .
I don’t want her to feel overwhelmed or awkward, but the look on her face shows she’s already feeling both.
I take her hand in mine and squeeze so she knows I’m not going anywhere.
Michelle is the first one to make her way over to us. “You must be Leah.” She says with a warm smile. “I’m Michelle, Dylan’s second favorite sister.”
“Really?” I ask.
She shrugs. “What? We all know Ronnie is your favorite.”
“Nice to meet you,” Leah says.
Michelle turns to look at her daughter. “Eve, do you want to come say hi?”
Not looking up from her phone, Eve gives a half wave.
Michelle says, “And that’s my lovely teenage daughter—or sometimes, she prefers her demonic name, Lillith.”
“Oh, she’s not that bad,” I defend.
She points her finger at me. “You don’t live with her. You don’t get an opinion.”
I lead Leah further into the house where Liz is storming out of the kitchen with Jack hot on her heels.
“Listen here, Mr. Barrett! Just because I’m carrying your baby that’s roughly the size of a watermelon, that doesn’t mean you get to tell me what to do!”
Jack replies, “All I did was try to help you stand up.”
“I don’t need your help!”
He holds his hands up in defeat. “Okay, I’m sorry.”
Liz turns to face him. With tears in her eyes, she says, “No, I’m sorry. You were just trying to help. ”
As they hug, I say, “Ah, look. A love story right before our very eyes.”
That gets both of their attention, and they come over to say hello.
Next, we come across Ronnie who just mouths hi as she talks on the phone while walking past us toward the front porch.
When we get into the kitchen, my parents are putting the finishing touches on dinner.
“Hey, Dyl!” My dad greets before walking over to give me a hug.
“Hey, Dad. How are Grandma and Grandpa?”
“Oh, they’re doing better.”
Mom comes over and starts talking to Leah. “Hi, Leah. I’m Suzanne. Let me know if I can get you anything.”
“Mom, what about me?” I ask.
“Well, Dylan, I already know you. She’s new. Wait your turn.” Before she turns her attention back to Leah, she says, “Why don’t you take out the trash?”
I don’t dare refuse to do it because to be honest, my mother still scares me.
When I come back, Leah has managed to escape everyone and is standing in the living room, looking up at the wall of photos.
Walking up behind her, I ask, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure? I know they can be a lot.”
She looks over at me. “Really, I’m good. They’re all so nice.” When she looks back at the wall, she adds, “Man, you were a cute kid.”
“I know, right?” I tease .
“You think our kid will be that cute?”
“Even cuter because they’re half you,” I reply with a smile.
“You look like you had a great childhood.”
“I did,” I tell her. “It took me becoming an adult to realize how great.”
Mom interrupts our conversation when she calls everyone to dinner.
Once we are all seated and passing around large platters of food, I look around and ask, “Where the hell is Jo?”
Mom rolls her eyes. “Don’t even get me started.”
Dad chimes in. “She jumped on the back of some guy’s motorcycle and went on a trip to find herself.”
Ronnie laughs. “Oh man, if I had a dollar for every time I jumped on the back of some guy’s motorcycle.” She gets lost in a momentary daydream.
Mom smirks. “You make a mother so proud.”
Michelle pipes up. “Oh, Mom, don’t be upset. We all know she would only have like two dollars.”
All of us start laughing. I look over at Leah. I expect her to be biting her nails—her typical nervous habit. But as I take her in, that’s not what I see at all. Instead, I see her hanging on the conversation and smiling. Much to my surprise, she looks like she’s having a good time.
I’ve never been serious enough about a woman to bring them home for family dinner. I’m aware the Lawsons can be pretty intimidating.
As much as I’ve always said that I don’t care what my family thinks of who I pick as a partner, I know that there being animosity there would cause problems. Although we aren’t attached at the hip, we’re a fairly close group. It would be easier if everyone got along—especially since there will be a baby involved too.
Liz asks, “So, Leah, what do you do for work?”
“I’m a tattoo artist.”
“Really?” Liz smiles. “That’s awesome. I’ve been thinking about getting one after I have the baby.”
“I’d be happy to do it. If you want to see my work, just look at the one I did for Dylan.”
Everyone’s attention turns to me, and Ronnie asks, “Baby brother got a tattoo?”
“Uh, yeah.”
They all stare at me as though they’re waiting for me to dance like a trained monkey.
“What?” I ask.
Liz says, “Well, come on. Let’s see it.”
Ronnie holds up her hand. “Wait! Is it somewhere gross?”
“It’s on my chest.”
Ronnie says, “So, yes?”
Liz starts chanting, “Let us see! Let us see!” Pretty soon, everyone else joins her.
I stand up and lift my shirt enough to show off the ink. When I do, all my siblings take it as an opportunity to throw their dinner rolls at me.
“Put it away, Fabio!” Ronnie yells.
I sit back down, and the attention falls onto someone else. Leah looks over at me and smiles. From underneath the table, I feel her hand rest on my thigh. I reach to put mine on top of hers, but before I get a chance, she travels up to rest on my cock. She gives me one firm squeeze through my jeans.
And I look at my watch, wondering how much longer we really have to stay.