31. Family and Flutters
thirty-one
Family and Flutters
Leah
S o, this is what it’s like to have a real family?
Dinner with the Lawsons was way more fun than I thought it was going to be. I was worried for nothing. They have all been so nice and welcoming.
I know Dylan and I aren’t doing this relationship thing in a typical fashion, but I can’t help but think about how great it would be to be part of a family like this one. I’ve never minded being alone—mainly because I never knew what I was missing. But being around Dylan’s family makes me very well aware of that. Maybe it’s the baby making me all sappy.
In typical boy scout fashion, Dylan volunteered to help her clean up. So I find myself back staring at the wall of photos in the living room. It’s thirty years worth of memories documented right here.
I wonder if my mom even has any photos of me anymore. I remember she had a lot of albums from when I was a baby, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she threw them all out…or if Larry did. They probably wanted no mention of the problem child.
My eyes fall on a picture of Dylan. He looks like he’s maybe nine or ten and wearing a brown suit with a little bow tie. He was adorable.
In another photo, he looks to be in high school and is wearing a football uniform. Even back then, I bet he was very popular with the ladies. He still had the same dark hair and warm eyes. And those same dimples.
I’m lost in my thoughts when Dylan’s mom walks up next to me. She says, “You know it’s crazy that I still can remember when each of these pictures was taken.”
“Really?”
She nods. “I mean, I couldn’t give you exact dates, but yeah, I remember all of it.”
I point to the photo of Dylan in the suit. “What’s with this one? Was he in a wedding or something?”
She chuckles. “No, not a wedding. He told us he had to dress up for some type of presentation. Turns out he wanted to look nice when he asked his teacher out on a date.”
I gasp. “You’re kidding!”
“Nope. Thankfully, she was super sweet and let him down easy. And he had a two second rebound rate, so he turned his attention to the bus driver.”
“Oh, lord.”
“Yeah, he was a handful but he always has had the biggest heart.”
Wanting to confirm that fact, I say, “For what it’s worth, you raised a good man. Ever since he found out I was pregnant, he has been so sweet and understanding. He’s handled my crazy pretty well.”
She smiles. “That’s good to hear. As much as I worried about my kids, Dyl was probably the one I worried about the least. I always knew he’d be okay. And I know he’ll make a hell of a dad.”
Although Suzanne is being super sweet and kind, I can see why Dylan told me she’s tough as nails. She may only stand a little over five feet tall, but I can tell she doesn’t take shit from anyone. There’s another thing I notice, too.
“Suzanne, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but none of your children look anything like you.”
She laughs and tucks her shoulder-length blonde hair behind her ear. “Oh, honey, you ain’t kidding. My husband is Greek. Those genes run strong. Be warned, your baby will probably look just like Dylan.”
“I won’t be upset. All your kids came out pretty good-looking.”
“Eh, they’re alright,” she replies with a quick wink.
Liz comes walking toward us. “Mom, Dad needs your help.”
“Of course, he does. Excuse me,” she says before walking away.
Liz takes her place, standing next to me and looking at the photos. “How you doing, kid? I know our family can be a little much.”
“I’m okay. You have all been great.”
“I just don’t want to scare you off.”
I smile. “I don’t think I’m going anywhere.”
“Good. My brother is pretty crazy about you.”
“Well, I am having his baby.”
“It’s not just that. It’s you. ”
When I don’t say anything, she says, “Let me ask you something. How easy would it be for you and Dyl to live in that house and do your own things?”
“Pretty easy, I guess.”
“Yet he wants to spend all his time with you?”
I nod.
“I think that says a lot.”
“I guess so,” I say, not having considered it that way before.
Something in my stomach churns, and I put my hand over it.
Liz takes notice and asks, “Are you okay?’
“Yeah, I keep getting this feeling in my stomach. It’s like butterflies—only more violent. I’m really hoping morning sickness isn’t coming back.”
A half smile spreads across her lips. “Leah, those aren’t butterflies. That’s your baby moving.”
“What? Really?”
“Really. Those little flutters are the tiny baby swimming around in there.”
“Man, I didn’t even notice. I probably would’ve been more excited.”
“It’ll happen a million more times.” She sets her hand on my shoulder. “Look, I don’t know what kind of support system you have or anything, but if you ever need someone to talk to about this—or anything else—you can come to me.”
Before I can respond with anything, Jack calls her from the other room, so she walks away.
Another unexpected—and annoying—wave of emotion hits me. I decide to step out onto the front porch to get some air and compose myself. There’s a big swing that I take a seat on .
I try to hold in the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I can’t believe how nice and welcoming everyone has been. This is my first time meeting most of them, and they’ve treated me better than my own family has for years. How fucked up is that?
The offer Liz gave for me to come to her whenever I wanted is unbelievably kind. I wonder if she will still feel that way if things go south between her brother and me. I don’t even want to think about it.
All of a sudden, I feel the butterflies again—or the baby. The feeling it gives me is the same as when you drop down a hill on a roller coaster–exciting yet terrifying.
I set my hand on my stomach. Up until now, I’ve been aware of the fact that I’m pregnant, but it hasn’t seemed altogether real. I haven’t had much of a connection.
But now, I can feel the baby moving inside of me.
My baby.
I look down at my barely-there belly. I’m still not sure I feel some profound connection brought on by mother’s instincts or something. But it’s more than before.
The front door swings open, and Dylan walks out. The moment he sees me, he gets a big grin on his face.
“Hey, gorgeous. I was looking everywhere for you.”
“Sorry,” I tell him. “I just wanted to get some air.”
He comes over and sits down next to me. “Things get a little overwhelming?”
“No. Your family is great. They’ve all been so nice.”
“You sure?”
I smile to let him know I’m serious. “Positive. It’s just…”
“What?” He puts his arms around my shoulders. “Tell me. ”
“Being around your wonderful family just kind of reminds me of how crappy mine is.”
“Shit, Leah. I’m sorry.” He kisses the side of my head. “But I’ve got news for you.”
“What’s that?”
“You and I are having a baby together. That baby is part of my family—which means you’re a part of that family too.”
I look up at him. “What if you and I start hating each other and suck at co-parenting?”
“Never going to happen.”
“How do you know?” I ask.
“Because there’s no way I could hate you. And even if you and I didn’t get along, I sure as shit won’t let our kid suffer because of it. And my family would still be there for you and the baby no matter what. I hate to break it to you, baby, you’re stuck with us.”
“I think I can live with that.” I smile. “And speaking of the baby, I felt it move tonight.”
His eyes go wide as he sets his hand on my stomach. “Really? What did it feel like?”
“Like little flutters.”
“Good flutters?” He asks.
I set my hand on top of his. “Very good.”
“I can’t wait until I can feel it too.”
“Let’s not rush it,” I tease.
“You got it, gorgeous. Are you ready to go home?”
“Whenever you are. But when we do, I’m going to ride you so hard.” I whisper the last part.
“Oh, yeah. It’s time to go.”