32. I’ll Take It
thirty-two
I’ll Take It
Leah
T hree weeks later…
17 weeks pregnant.
“Hot momma! Look how big those things have gotten!” Amy cries as I take off my shirt in the fitting room.
I look down at the girls which have more than doubled in size. They’re spilling out the top of my bra. “Yeah, I finally got the boob job I wanted—only this one is temporary and will cost me way more money in the long run.”
“I’d kill for a rack like that.”
“Oh, shut up,” I tell her. “You’ve always had big boobs.”
She still stares. “Not that big.”
“Quit leering at me. Wait, is this what you feel like all the time when men stare at you?”
“Yeah, kind of.”
I smile. “I kind of like it. Is that weird? ”
“Yeah, but you’re weird anyways.” She laughs. “What does Dylan think of those big ol’ moon balloons?”
“He likes them. But he liked them when they were small too. He’s an equal opportunity boob man.” I pull on the long sleeve shirt I’m trying on.
“You could wear a burlap sack, and that man would still think the sun shined out of your ass.”
“Oh, that’s not true.” When I see the death stare she’s giving me, I add, “Okay, well, maybe.”
“How did you manage to get knocked up by the one decent guy you’ve ever been with?”
“I think it was the universe giving me a break for once, but still knocking me up as a sick little joke.”
I change my shirt once again. The whole point of this trip was to shop for maternity clothes since nothing I usually wear fits me anymore. Not only have my boobs and belly grown, but my hips and ass have gotten wider too. At least I’m not as oddly shaped anymore. I’m just big all over the place now.
This is the second store we’ve gone into, and all I’ve gotten is some leggings, sweatpants, and a couple long sleeve shirts. Really, all I want for the next few months is to be comfortable.
“What do you think of this one?” I ask, looking in the mirror.
“I like it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It shows off your cute little pregnant belly.”
I look down at my stomach where the baby is doing somersaults .
“Sold,” I say, taking it off and throwing it into the pile of stuff to buy. I try to reposition my boobs in my bra, but no matter what, the girls do their best to bust out.
“Dear, I hate to break it to you, but I think you’re going to need some bigger bras.”
“Ugghhh,” I groan. “I don’t want to. Maybe I’ll just start going without a bra altogether.”
She erupts in a fit of giggles.
“What’s so funny?” I ask.
“Take it from someone who has been a member of the Big Titty Committee for many years now. You need to wear a bra. They need some sort of support, or you’re likely to put someone’s eye out. Let’s face it—they’re only going to get bigger.”
I sigh. “I guess you’re right. Let’s go pay for this stuff, and we can hit the underwear store.”
As we are walking, I say, “Shit, I can’t remember the last time I was in a mall.”
“Same,” Amy agrees. “I online shop for basically everything now.”
“I usually do too, but I had no clue what size I was, so I had to do it in person.”
“Hey, I’m not complaining. We barely get any time together anymore, so I’ll take whatever I can get.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “Between work and time with Dylan, I’ve been a little preoccupied.”
“I get it. You two should take all the time together that you can get while you can. It’ll be hard to get once the baby comes.”
“Still, I feel bad. Let me buy you a coffee. ”
We duck into a coffee shop that we’re passing. Amy gets a latte, and I get a decaf. Before we continue shopping, we sit down in the comfortable arm chairs.
She takes a sip before saying, “Speaking of you and Dylan, how’s that going?”
“Pretty good. He’s quite possibly the sweetest man on the face of the Earth.”
“And the sex? Still good?”
I give her some side eye. “Out of this world. The hormones have made me hornier than a bunny in heat, so we’ve been going at each other like crazy.”
“Sounds fun. I’m jealous.”
“Not banging Jamie anymore?”
“Well, we get together when we can, but it’s been hard with my mom at the apartment.”
“How’s she doing?”
As she talks about her mom, I feel bad that I haven’t been there for her more lately. Amy’s always been a great friend, and I’ve kind of ghosted her lately. I make a mental vow to carve out some more time for her.
She says, “But enough about me and my boring life. Are you and Dylan an official couple?”
“Not quite.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t know that I should make any big decisions while I have all the pregnancy hormones.”
Looking confused, she speaks slowly. “But you’re having a baby together. Doesn’t that change things a little? ”
“Amy, you know how my relationship track record goes. Every one I’ve been in has ended.”
She takes another drink. “You get that’s how it usually goes, right? All of your relationships end until you find the one you make it work with.”
“It doesn’t always work like that,” I defend.
“Leah, why don’t you tell me what’s really going on? Skip the bullshit.”
Avoiding her eyes, I reply, “Because I’m scared to mess things up.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s say Dylan and I give this thing a real shot. We try the whole relationship thing, and it all goes to hell in a handbasket. I don’t think I could survive going through that breakup…especially since it’s not just me that would get hurt. The baby would too.”
She nods. “I get what you’re saying, but stay with me here…what if you guys didn’t break up? What if it all works out?”
"As much as I would like to believe that, things that great don’t happen to me. And just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m going to get all sappy. Everyone close to me has left. I don’t get attached. It’s easier that way. Dylan and I still have our own space and sleep in our own beds. We fuck when we want but we don’t have some unhealthy attachment to each other. It’s best this way.”
I say it in a way that tells her I’m done with the topic, so she changes the subject as we start walking to our next stop.
We head inside the underwear store, and Amy walks right over to a rack of sexy bras .
“I don’t know if that’s what I’m going for,” I tell her when she holds up a lacy black one.
“This is totally your style.”
“Maybe that style is what got me knocked up.”
She walks back over to me. “Listen here, after you have the baby, you’re going to be wearing ugly nursing bras. Take advantage of looking sexy before then.”
She has a little bit of a point, but I don’t know if the belly is all that sexy.
Before waiting for me to reply, she finds a black see-through teddy and brings it back. “How about this? Imagine Dylan’s face when he sees you in this. He would lose his shit.”
“I don’t think so,” I tell her.
“Come on! At least, try it on!”
When I don’t respond, she adds, “Please, please, please!”
“Fine!” I cry, snatching the lingerie out of her hand.
I walk to the dressing room and put it on. When I look in the mirror, I can’t help but notice how great my tits look. Sure, I’ve got the pregnant belly, but the boobs distract from that.
Amy knocks on the door. “Leah, let me in.”
When I do, her eyes get big. “Whoa! Look at you!”
I turn toward the mirror once again. This is the first time in a very long time that I feel sexy. I feel pretty good about the way I look.
And I hope Dylan will too. Maybe I could wear it tonight.
“Alright, fine. I’ll take it.”