35. Goth Barbie
thirty-five
Goth Barbie
Dylan
O ne week later.
20 weeks pregnant
“I just don’t get it,” Leah says as I pause the movie at the end credits.
“What don’t you get?” I ask.
“He’s a doll who’s killing people. Sure, serial killers are scary, but he’s only like two feet tall. Shouldn’t it be easy to take him out?”
I laugh. “Well, maybe he’s got super strength because he’s possessed by a serial killer.”
She takes a bite of a Twizzler. “Eh, I don’t buy it. I’d drop that mother fucker.”
Oh, I don’t doubt it.
“So, you don’t like it?” I ask.
“No, I loved it. Let’s watch the second one.”
Not able to contain my smile, I stand up to put in the next movie .
She adjusts herself on the couch. “I know I’ve given up on wearing pants around here, but how would you feel if I took the same stance on bras?”
“You won’t hear me complaining. Less clothing for me to take off.”
She grins. “And they say romance is dead.”
“You want something to drink?”
“Uh, sure.” She looks up from the drawing she’s been working on.
I could ask what she wants, but I already know. Since she’s been pregnant, she’s replaced her Dr. Pepper addiction with an iced tea one.
When I come back to sit next to her on the couch, she asks, “Dylan, can we talk about something?”
“Sounds serious,” I say. “Don’t tell me you’re pregnant.”
“Of course not. Just don’t look at me from the neck down,” she jokes. “I need your advice about something.”
“Alright. Hit me with it.”
“I’m thinking about reaching out to my mom.”
Out of all the things in the world I would have imagined she could have said, that was at the very bottom of the list.
When I don’t immediately respond, she explains herself. “Being around your family was so great, and I’m so glad that our daughter is going to have them in her life. She’s already so lucky. I know my mom and I haven’t been on the best of terms—or any terms, for that matter. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I tried to get in touch.”
I think for a minute. As much as I think it’s great that she wants to reconnect, I worry as to how it will go. Her mom is already on my shit list because I don’t understand how your daughter can leave home at seventeen, and you don’t go look for her. I think you have to be fucked up to choose your new boyfriend over your own kid.
I ask, “How do you think that’s going to go?”
“I don’t know. But I think telling her she’s going to be a grandma should soften the blow. She’s always wanted grandkids.”
“How do you think Larry will react?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care. My plan is to go over there during the day when that jackass isn’t home. If I can mend my relationship with Mom, maybe Larry will fall into place.”
“It sounds like you’ve thought a lot about this.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “I just remember how great it was when it was just Mom and I. We had a great relationship. I’d like for our daughter to have a bond with her. On your side of the family, she will have a ton of people who love her. With me, it’ll probably just be my mom—maybe her two other daughters if I’m lucky.”
I lean over and give her a soft kiss. “I get it, gorgeous. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to repair a relationship with your mom.”
“But you think it’s a bad idea…”
“No, that’s not it. I think it’s great. Really.”
She looks at me with a small smirk. “You’re not a very good liar.”
“Figured you would appreciate that fact. But in all seriousness, Leah, I think if you want to see your mom, you should do it. I hope she comes to her senses and that I get to meet her. ”
I’m not sure if she believes me or not, but when she leans against me and lays her head on my chest, I realize she just needed a little reassurance.
I honestly have no idea how a meeting with her mother will go. Twelve years is a long time to go without talking to someone. Under normal circumstances, Leah would want to keep her distance, but I know the baby has her wanting to be around family.
I get it.
Will her mom get it? I’m not so sure.
Maybe I’m worrying too much about this. Maybe her mom will be happy to see her and welcome her with open arms. I would love that for her.
We start watching the movie, and she snuggles against me. The vanilla scent of her shampoo fills my nose as I kiss the top of her head.
This right here.
This is what I’ve been waiting for. Spending my evenings with the woman I love, watching a movie, and cuddling up on the couch.
The only thing that could make it better is if Leah was ready for a full-fledged relationship.
But I won’t push.
This is just fine.
About half way through the movie, she says, “Man, I can’t believe this is the last month of my twenties.”
“That was random.”
“Yeah, well, welcome to my brain. I was just thinking about how I haven’t done a whole hell of a lot in my life. I think having a baby is the cherry on top of my twenties. ”
“Yeah, having a baby is a pretty big deal. Wait, did you say you’re turning thirty in a month?”
She nods and tells me the date.
“We have to celebrate!” I announce.
“No, that’s okay. We don’t need to make it a big deal.”
“Why not?" I ask. “What do you usually do on your birthday?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
She shakes her head. “Nope. It’s never really been a cause for celebration. It’s just another day.”
“What kind of stuff did you do as a kid?”
She ponders for a moment. “The only birthday party I remember was when I was turning seven. My parents got in a huge fight. They ended up throwing a glass pitcher that landed in the middle of my Barbie birthday cake. That pretty much ended the party, and it was soon after that my dad walked out.”
She goes on to say, “Maybe I had parties before that, but I don’t remember. And after that, Mom just gave up. She and I may have gone out for dinner or something, but there was never a lot of money for gifts.”
I say, “Hold on just a second. You liked Barbie? Was it Goth Barbie?”
She laughs and gives a heavy eye roll. “I was seven. Give me a break. And I didn’t turn into a goth until after all the trauma. I really fucking loved that cake, though. It was hot pink with baby blue writing. And it had a mini Barbie dream house on top.”
She gets lost in a memory for a moment, and I can tell how painful it is for her to talk about .
I may not be able to cure all of her childhood trauma, but I sure as shit can make sure her 30 th birthday is one she’ll never forget.