12 A break in the chaos
12
A break in the chaos
Benjamin
Since we arrived back from Bath late yesterday afternoon, Isabella has been very excited about our research into time travel.
I can’t tell you what a relief it is that she’s finally taken me seriously. I realised that she felt bad for not believing me, even though I said there was no reason to. I don’t usually hold grudges, even when people deserve it, so with her, any resentment is out of the question. Bella did everything she could to console me; her good humour was essential for me to be able to enjoy the rest of our stay in Bath without being immersed in my problems.
It was deeply satisfying to introduce her to the city through my eyes. Bella loves history, and she asked me such curious and smart questions that I didn’t even know how to answer some of them. When I return – if I return – I’m sure I’ll be more aware of some of the details that would have never mattered to me if it weren’t for Bella’s point of view.
On the train journey back, she was tired, and I told her she could rest and that I would let her know when we arrived at London Bridge station. Bella fell asleep and laid her head on my shoulder halfway. I let her stay there, smelling the delicious scent of her hair and hearing her calm breathing. I took the opportunity and held her hand, intertwining our fingers. I’m still amazed at how perfectly they fit together. Despite everything, all the frustration of not being able to return home and all the worry about my sister, Bella’s presence has allowed me some measure of peace.
She’s brought me peace ever since we met. It’s very intriguing, a little disturbing, as incoherent as it sounds, but I’m not complaining.
Today, however, the last thing Bella is is tired. The woman has enviable energy. Since it’s her day off, we started researching time travel. Our marathon was intense. We watched Outlander , Back to the Future , Kate and Leopold , The Knight before Christmas , and 13 Going on 30 .
I really liked the music from the last film. Isabella said she’d introduce me to more Michael Jackson songs later.
“OK.” She picks up a notepad and a pen with a crown on the end. “Let’s summarise what we already know.”
I find her authoritative manner very sensual. I wonder if Isabella realises how attractive she is. From the conversation we had yesterday, about the arsehole who broke her heart, I have my doubts.
“Let’s do it.” Duke approaches us and I pick him up. He’s getting bigger and heavier every day.
“So far, there are various possible ways of time travel.” Bella taps the tip of her pen on the paper. “Monoliths, cars that must reach eighty-eight miles per hour with a specific energy, portals, wishes made near a magical powder, and sorceresses handing out enchanted objects.”
“Right. But my case is none of those. I didn’t exactly make a wish; no sorceress gave me the cameo; I wasn’t around monoliths; and I didn’t use a car. I didn’t even know what a car was.”
Isabella pouts, thinking. The pretty lips catch my eyes. I want to taste them.
“The light you saw coming out of the cameo,” she says. “Do you think it could have been a portal?”
“Not like Leopold’s.”
She nods, still reflective. “We’ll have to watch The Avengers . They travel through time too, but we’ll have to plan ahead because it’s going to take a while.”
“Why is that?”
“Because it’s a sequence of films, and they only travel back in time in the last one. Well, until phase three.”
“How many films?”
“About twenty, twenty-five.”
“Twenty-five films ? That will take weeks.”
Bella laughs. “We can watch more than one a day. Or we could just watch the ones with the most information.”
“You have to work, Bella,” I remind her. Has she forgotten that little detail?
“Oh, I didn’t tell you! I’m on holiday. My colleague was going to take it, but since her boyfriend couldn’t and she wants to travel, we swapped. I’ll be off work until Christmas, and I’ll only work two days that week. It’ll be good, as my sister will be here.”
Bella commented that her younger sister was coming to London with her Canadian husband. She said they already know about me, but I have to pretend I’m a friend spending a few days here in the flat. It’s true, though. According to Isabella, I’m going to like Pierre LeBlanc because he’s a “modern lord”, whatever that means. From his surname, I discover that he is descended from Spencer’s cousin’s husband. It’s a small world we live in. And it seems that next week we also have an unusual engagement: a Regency ball. And I’ve been trying to get away from them for so long… as I understand it, it’s an extraordinary event in the town, where everyone dresses up in Regency clothes and attends an old-fashioned ball, with quadrilles, waltzes, and minuets. Mrs LeBlanc was thrilled when she received notice of the party by email and bought four tickets. Isabella almost fainted with happiness – her words, not mine.
Women and dances… who understands them? Some things never change.
“I didn’t realise it was so easy to miss work,” I say.
“It’s easy. I like it because I have thirty days to take off from April to March of the following year. They don’t have to be consecutive, which makes it easier. In Brazil, the holiday period is different. You know, different laws.”
No, I don’t know, but I don’t have the energy to ask. With a sigh, I put Duke down and relax on the sofa.
“What do we do now?” I ask. “I don’t think we’ve made much progress with our data.”
“You look tense. Would you like to relax a little?”
“Yes, I’d like that. What do you want to do?”
“What are you thinking of doing?”
To relax? I have at least thirty images of different relaxing activities, but all of them are of complete wickedness. Images that, I admit, I would like to practise with Isabella. My member pulses inside my trousers and I change position.
“Tell the lady, please.” She leaves her notepad on the coffee table and picks up her computer. “Let me see if they have tickets available before I say anything.” Isabella types something quickly, her eyes riveted to the screen. She smiles a moment later and looks at me. “What do you say we go to Winter Wonderland?”
“What’s that?” I lean forward, my forearms resting on my knees.
“It’s a winter festival. It’s a lot of fun. There’s good food, hot chocolate, and games. I went last year and loved it. Even David Beckham goes there.”
David who? You know what, I’d rather not ask. Isabella knows too many people for my liking.
“Let’s go.” I stand up. “I think you and I deserve a bit of fun.”
“I’ll just put my trainers on and we can go.”
Isabella gets up and walks away, Duke following her into the bedroom. I can’t help it, and I tilt my head to the side as I watch the round, hard arse roll away from me. Isabella’s, not the dog’s. Always hers.
* * *
Isabella
Benjamin looks like a child at Disneyland when we arrive at Winter Wonderland. He’s the perfect mix of cute and sexy, with that manly build and that fascinated expression.
A hottie indeed.
“What do you want to do first?” I ask, as soon as we go through the gates of Hyde Park.
Benjamin is still dumbfounded. “I have no idea. It’s all so… colourful.” He cracks a smile. “These lights are very curious.”
“They’re nice, aren’t they?” We’re walking side by side, my arm wrapped around his. “Look, there’s that hot chocolate I told you about. I’m going to buy some – would you like one?”
Benjamin hesitates, looking suddenly uncomfortable. “Bella, I think you’re spending too much money on me.”
I tell him it’s fine. Yes, some unplanned spending was necessary, but I have relatively good savings. Not to mention the fact that my father transferred a “Christmas present” for me this week. My father and his unexpected gifts…
He’s much better now. We text every day, but I’ve made an effort to align our time zones, and I’ve managed to speak to him by video call twice. It may sound cliché, but my father and I have a special bond, one that isn’t shaken even by thousands of kilometres. It’s like that with my sister and my mum too.
I suspect that Ben will soon be on that list. Even with him returning to the past, two hundred years away from me, I doubt very much that our connection will be broken.
Because Benjamin is special. And, even though it’s presumptuous, my heart seems to whisper that we were destined to meet. That he needed me.
Just as I needed him.
“Bella? Are you alright?” he asks me. I didn’t realise I was silent.
“Of course, I was just wondering what to do.”
“You were going to buy the chocolate.”
“Oh, yeah. Listen, don’t worry about money. I never spend what I don’t have. Not to mention that I’ve set aside some money to have fun at the festival this year, so… it’s all planned.”
An unconvinced Benjamin nods, and I walk away in the direction of a stand serving the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had. The minutes pass quickly, as they always do when something is fun. Benjamin and I go on the roller coaster, the haunted house, and the ice rink. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard as when I saw him fall flat on his arse and pull me along, telling me I shouldn’t be so cruel. I’ve got used to the sound of his laughter, the frantic effect it has on my heart.
Smiling next to him is one of the best things I’ve ever experienced.
“Why are these ladies holding these absolutely huge teddies?”
I laugh again as we walk through the park. “They’re gifts that you win by playing at these stalls. It’s a film cliché – usually the boys play and win the animals for their girlfriends.”
Benjamin frowns thoughtfully. “Does it have to be a boyfriend?”
“No, it’s just what’s most common.”
He nods again. “Can I try to offer you one?”
“A what?” I tilt my head to the side.
“A stuffed animal of enormous size.”
Oh, my God. This man doesn’t exist.
“Of course. What do you want to play?”
Benjamin straightens his posture and fixes the collar of his jacket, looking around. “Is that like target practice?” He points to a stall on our left.
“Yes. It is target practice, really.”
“Alright, then. That’ll be it then.”
We walk to the stall, and I hand my chips to the boy there. The aim is to hit the cans arranged in the centre with the shots. There are six cans positioned in three tiers: three in the first row, two in the second, and one in the third.
“How does it work?” Benjamin asks the boy.
“You have to hit the target. If you knock over four cans, you get a small gift. Five, a medium, and six whatever you like. You have four shots.”
Benjamin nods, accepting the gun offered by the man.
“Which gift would you like, milady?” he asks me with a crooked smile.
“Whichever one you win.”
“Choose, Bella.”
He exudes confidence, so much so that my legs go limp. I look at the hanging presents and pick out a fluffy unicorn of enormous size, as Ben says.
“That one.”
“Right. How many cans do I need to hit?” Ben turns to the guy again.
“All of them,” he replies.
“Fair enough.”
Very focused, Benjamin takes aim with the gun and pulls the trigger. The shot goes wide of the cans.
I grimace.
Benjamin speaks without looking at me: “I was just trying it out. I wanted to see how it worked.”
I can’t answer because what he does next is spectacular. Like a true expert, Benjamin fires, hitting a can from the bottom tier. Four cans fall to the ground, leaving only the other two on the base. With the last two remaining shots, Benjamin knocks them down, one by one, and smiles with satisfaction when the last one falls to the ground, handing the gun to the guy.
“The unicorn for the lady, please,” he says.
When he hands me the unicorn, I don’t even know what to say. I’m impressed, fascinated, melted, and a little horny. That is what he does to me.
“Did you like it?” Benjamin asks.
Did I like it? I loved it; he has no idea what a treat it was.
“You were marvellous.” I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek. Benjamin smiles slightly, looking a bit embarrassed. So cute. “I love my unicorn of enormous size. Where did you learn to shoot like that?”
“I used to go hunting with my father and brother. I never really liked it, but I’m good.”
Yes, I can see that.
“What do we do now?” Benjamin asks me.
“Want to go on the Ferris wheel?”
“Of course, it will be interesting.”
After a few minutes in the queue, we sit on the Ferris wheel and go up. The park from above is even more beautiful. All the lights, the moving rides, the crowds of people who look like ants in an anthill. We can still smell the aroma of food mixed with marshmallows and chocolate. Benjamin looks down, smiling softly, his face flushed from the cold weather.
He is so handsome.
“I’m still impressed by so many colours.” He straightens his posture. “Thank you for bringing me here. I love it.”
I put the unicorn on my lap and nod. “It’s nice to see you relaxed.”
“I’m only now not tense. It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything for myself. For the Duke of Waldorf, yes, but not for me, Benjamin.”
He stops talking, but there’s something unsaid in the air.
“Talk to me, Ben.”
Benjamin meets my gaze again, just as the Ferris wheel stops. We’re at the highest possible point.
“Don’t worry, it’s normal for it to stop,” I reassure him. “You were saying…”
He sighs. “I thought my life would take one direction, and it took another. I never expected to be the duke; I never expected to have to provide for my sister. I was… just a man looking to seize the moment. I had my newspaper, so I wouldn’t feel useless in society, and that was it. And then we lost Barney, then my father; Abigail was ill and, in the midst of it all, there I was. Trying not to fall apart. Trying not to feel.” His words break my heart in two. Benjamin smiles sadly. “I ended up losing myself in all this. I’ve forgotten who I am outside the title. Who the man behind the desk full of papers is.”
“He’s wonderful,” I say, without mincing any words, “simply wonderful.”
Benjamin denies it, looking a little embarrassed. “Don’t overdo it, Bella.”
“I’m not. It’s true. For me, Isabella Souza Kato, you, Benjamin Gerard Waldorf, the man, not the duke, are wonderful.”
“Why?” he asks, turning his body slightly towards me. “Why do you say that if all I’ve done since I arrived is mess up your life?”
I shrug.
“Maybe that’s why. Because you’re a pleasant surprise. Because you make me smile, Ben.”
His gaze locks onto mine. “That’s great. I can be proud.”
“Proud?”
He nods. “Yes. Your smile is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
And this is where I lose everything. The ability to speak, to think, to breathe. All I can feel is my heart racing and full.
Benjamin analyses my face, lowering his gaze to my lips, which I now realise are parted. Very gently, he brings a hand up to my face and strokes my lower lip, at the same time moistening his own. The movement is mesmerising, so much so that I feel my limbs tingle.
Ben moves a little more, getting as close as possible. Everything seems in slow motion, and I, who loves to assign songs to the moments of my life, don’t know which song to choose. But I don’t need them now. Definitely not. When Benjamin places his hand on the side of my face and pulls me to him, I just give in.
It’s perfect.
Perfect, only that.